It's morning at the Abbott House. Ephram, who has slept on their couch, is awakened by both his cell phone and Patch Abbott's cheerful yammering. Amy comes downstairs and apologizes to Ephram about her dad being the "definition of a morning person." She asks if he slept okay, and says he can stay as long as he wants. Patch says he's not sure that's such a good idea -- he spoke with Treat the night before, and Ephram's father is very concerned. Ephram suggests they file that under "too little, too late." Patch says he promised he'd say something. Ephram says it's fine, he's not staying long anyway, and thanks Patch for letting him crash. Patch tells Ephram he's welcome, and adds, "Should anyone care for a tofu scramble, I'll be in the kitchen." Amy asks her weirdo boyfriend how he really is, and Ephram claims to be not just a wreck, but a tired wreck, and says he can't stop thinking about how Madison must have told Treat she was pregnant. He says three days ago he was in New York, and his life was perfect, but things were obviously going way too well. He tells Amy she's the only person he can trust right now. Amy says she just wants to help, but doesn't really know what to do. Ephram says he has to figure it out on his own. Amy leans her head on his shoulder and asks what he's going to do. Ephram: "I don't know. But I've got to do something." Oh, the DRAMA. Credits.
When we come back, Nina's having coffee with Treat. She's all, "So all this happened a year ago, and now you're like, 'Hi let's have coffee my son got his girlfriend pregnant and he thinks I ruined his life.' Huh." Treat says he should have told her sooner. Nina says, to be honest, she's a little grateful to have been out of the loop on this one, but it must have been awful for Treat to carry this all around by himself. Treat says it was, but he's fine now; he could wallow in self-pity, but what would be the point? Nina: "Oh, you don't need a point to wallow. That's the beauty of the wallow." Heh. Treat says he spent way too much time worrying about Ephram last year, and now he wants to refocus by catching up on what's going on in Delia's life. He also wants to catch up with Nina, and asks her if they can have dinner. Nina says she can't, as it's "Movie Night with Jake and Sam." They make a plan for the night, but then Nina remembers that Dimples got them concert tickets. Treat says he had no idea that she and Dimples had gotten that serious. Nina says they've just been hanging out a lot, but it's no big deal. Uh-huh. She leaves for work. Treat drinks his coffee alone, alone, alone.
Hey, Hannah's back! Bright gets her bags out of the back of his truck while Hannah thanks him again for the ride. Bright tells her if she says "thank you" or "sorry" again he's going to have to kill himself. Hannah: "Sorry. Sorry." As Bright helps her unpack, Hannah tells him how weird it was being home -- her mom cried when she left, and she didn't even do that the first time -- and that it feels like a whole other life she left behind. Bright jokes that it looks like she brought most of it back, and goes to work reading her fourth-grade diary: "Dear Diary, I think I, like, love, Robbie Schmitzer. He has smooth muscles and alabaster skin." Heeee. Bright can't believe Hannah used words like "alabaster" in fourth grade. Hannah says she did find one thing in there, and grabs the diary from Bright. She reads, "Dear Diary, I found out today that my dad is sick. If God will make him better, I promise to eat all of my vegetables." Aw. Hannah says she didn't know anything about medicine or science when she wrote that; she really believed God could cure something like Huntington's, if she just asked. Bright says he thinks that's why people pray: for insurance, just in case it works. Hannah gets this bright-idea look on her face, and says maybe God did answer her prayers, and she just didn't realize it because it didn't come in the form she was expecting. "I was too late on my dad, but...maybe God saved me instead!" Bright is all, "Hmm. Maybe? But I think your test was negative because you didn't have the gene." Hannah: "Maybe, but just in case? I owe God some serious vegetables."
High school. Amy and Ephram are having lunch when Ephram drops this bomb: "So how hard do you think it would be to find him?" Amy chokes, "Why...uh, why would you want to do that?" Ephram says he just wants to make sure he's okay. Amy asks what Madison said. Ephram relates the story about the nice couple taking him from the hospital. Amy thinks he should ask Madison, since she met the couple. Ephram says if he asked her, he'd have to talk to her, and if he talks to her, it means he forgives her, and he just can't do that. And furthermore, if he forgives Madison, it's like he forgives Treat, and somebody needs to please just go ahead and kill me, because this show is about to do me in. Amy, who is cheering me with her totally resigned attitude, says she wishes there were something she could do to make it better. Ephram asks if it's completely crazy for him to want to find his son. Amy says unconvincingly, "If it's what you want…" Ephram says he thinks it is. Amy sighs heavily, and "offers" to help.
Treat and Delia wheel a buggy through the hardware store. Delia asks Treat what he thinks about dark purple. Treat thinks that might be a little too bordello for a little girl's room, and suggests something in a "natural linen." What is she, eighty? Lord. Delia inexplicably says she can live with that, and they start loading up on supplies. Delia says they could avoid all this work if Treat would just let her move into Ephram's studio after he goes away to college. Treat takes this as an invitation to start hinting around about why Ephram's been gone a lot lately. Delia says she hasn't really noticed. Heh. Treat says Ephram just has a lot going on with auditions and graduation and whatnot. Delia continues not to care, and asks her dad if she gets at least four days for their painting project, since Ephram got to go to New York with Treat for that many days. Treat says he doesn't think it will take that many days to finish her room. Delia gives him a look, and he's all, "Okay, four days. Sounds good." Just then, Dimples McGee comes bounding around a corner all, "Helloooo, happy family!" I love him. Treat introduces Dimples to Delia, who gets a high five. Dimples tells Treat to use the synthetic rollers for painting with latex, explaining that he knows this because plastic surgeons need to be in touch with their inner decorators. Treat sees this as the perfect excuse to invite Dimples and Nina to help them paint. Dimples thinks this is a great idea! Delia, meanwhile, is shooting some hardcore Manson lamps at Treat, and tells him that she gets an extra day for this. As she should.
Amy's room. Patch comes to the door and tells her it's three in the morning, surely she isn't still doing homework? Amy quickly hides whatever it is that she's just printed out, and says she was doing some "research." Yes, Daddy, you know, just doing a little Googling around for my boyfriend's adopted baby. Patch walks in and asks how Ephram's doing. Not good, Amy says, but she's trying to be supportive. Patch: "Our boy's suffered quite a blow." Amy says she can see him losing it right in front of her, and it's painful to watch. I second that emotion, along with the rest of the universe. Patch thinks maybe this is something Ephram needs to work out on his own. Amy asks Patch if he thinks she should break up with him. Patch, who totally thinks this, reminds Amy that she didn't sign up for this. Amy says she won't abandon Ephram when he needs her the most, and she can't believe her dad doesn't get that. Patch says all he sees is his child in pain. "Forgive me if my instinct is to move her away from the fire." Aw, Patch. Amy ignores this, turns back to her computer, and we go to commercials.
High school. Ephram has driven Amy to school, and he basically tells her to get the hell out of the car, because he has other plans. He tells Amy that he was "thinking about" driving on down to Child Placement in Denver and "asking a few questions." Amy asks him if he wants her to go, and he's all, "Yeah! I mean, it might be a long day. Long and boring. And awful. You know. The worst day ever." Amy says she actually has a presentation. Heh. Amy gets out of the car, and Ephram drives off into the ridiculous unknown.
Brown House. Treat, Nina, Dimples, and Delia are hard at work with the painting. Is this the same day? Why isn't Delia in school? Treat grills Nina about her and Dimples's first date. Nina answers, and Treat's like, "Great, I love that restaurant! Watch that spot, Delia." Delia hates her daddy. Treat asks Nina more questions, ignoring Delia's pointed looks. Nina and Dimples try to pretend they don't feel very, very uncomfortable. Delia hates her daddy some more, and says her wall looks bumpy. Treat is so incredibly dumb. He continues to ignore Delia, then makes a suggestion about some fucking farmer's market that Nina and Dimples should visit. Delia paints her wall TO DEATH.
Amy's on the phone...with the Juilliard audition man! Mr. Juilliard says he's familiar with the name "Ephram Brown," as he can count on one hand the number of times anyone's ever skipped an audition. Amy says he didn't skip; there was an emergency, a death in the family. Mr. Juilliard inquires after the death certificate. Amy's like, "Fine, there was no death, but it was just as bad!" Mr. Juilliard says there's nothing he can do now, because Ephram already had his shot. Amy sighs, "Gah, broken record. Come on, I'm trying to tell you that he's brilliant, and all these other schools are trying to recruit him. If you could just schedule a make-up..." Mr. Juilliard suggests that perhaps Ephram find a recruiter at one of the other schools that are so hell-bent on recruiting him. "Oh, yeah? Well, perhaps you should just grow a heart, ASSFACE," says sweet Amy Abbott.
Hannah is standing outside a church, for reasons we'll soon find out. Topher walks out of the church and asks her what she's doing. Hannah: "Oh, just...hanging out...over here." Hee. She asks Topher if he goes to this church, and he replies in the affirmative. "Are you thinking about going here?" Hannah says she's just here looking for something, and it's kind of complicated. Topher says it sounds pretty serious -- she was sitting in the front row, and nobody ever sits there. Topher is so goofy and cute. Hannah sees the reverend walk out of the church, and tells Topher she has to go. She asks if she can talk to him for a second, and they walk inside.
Back at the Browns', the painting is winding down, and Treat and Dimples are arguing over music trivia. Treat says Ephram would definitely know the right answer. Delia interjects, "'Cause Ephram knows everything." Dimples asks Nina who she likes more, Marley or Clapton. Nina avoids the question, which is retarded in the first place, by saying she has to go check on Sam. Dimples asks how Ephram's doing, adding that he heard about what happened. Treat tells Delia to go wash her hands. Dimples is like, "Oh, shit, I'm so sorry." Treat asks Dimples, rather confrontationally, "Since when do you know about Ephram?" Dimples says he doesn't, really, just what Nina's told him. Treat can't believe Nina told him. Dimples wonders why she wouldn't, then says he doesn't have kids, so he obviously doesn't know what it's like. Treat is all, "Yeah, there's a lot that you don't know, and a lot that Nina doesn't know, so how about we leave my parenting and my kids out of this?" What? When was his parenting, uh, in this? Dimples tries to apologize. Nina walks in and asks what's going on. Treat says they were just cleaning up, and he can take it from here. Nina and Dimples are like, "See ya, FREAKS." Treat tells Delia that he has a number for the contractor that did Ephram's studio, and maybe they should let the professionals take over. Delia asks incredulously, "We're stopping NOW?" Treat says yes, he's tired. Shut up, Treat. You've been painting for five minutes, and running your mouth the rest of the time.
Dun dun dun! Colorado Child Placement Services. Ephram walks inside. The lady behind the counter calls over, "Sir, you've been in and out of here all day. We're about to close. If you need something, now's the time." Ephram says he's looking for somebody, but he doesn't know if he's in the right place. "It's a kid, actually. It's my kid. My son." The lady isn't touched. "Name of birth mother?" Ephram gives her Madison's name. The lady types some things, then asks, "You say you're the father? I have a record of Kellner here, but it says 'Father Unknown.'" The lady goes on to say that there's an order terminating the parent-child relationship with the birth father, which was signed the same day as the adoption decree. Ephram says he doesn't know what that means. The lady asks him if he appeared in court to contest. Ephram says he didn't even know there was going to be a trial. Okay, this is really kind of sad, if only because Ephram has no idea what he's getting his poor little head into. The lady says she can't give Ephram any more information, as it's confidential. Ephram gets a little hysterical here, and says he thought if he just went there, he could at least figure out where his son was, and put some of it behind him. "I have a kid, and I've never met him, and I have no idea who he is, but I just wanted to make sure he was safe." The nice lady looks at Ephram for a while, then decides, what the hell, she hasn't broken the law in a while: "Listen to me. Any child growing up in Marin County? You know he's going to be just fine." Ephram thanks her. Commercials.
We come back to Amy and Ephram having a little powwow on the Abbotts' front porch. Ephram says he's going to go home and look up ticket prices to Marin County. Amy can't believe it. "I thought you wanted to find him, not actually go and see him." No shit. Let's imagine that scenario for a moment. On second thought, let's not, because it's horrifying. Ephram says that's before he knew where the baby actually was, and besides, he thought Amy was okay with all of this. Amy repeats, as to a first-grader, that she's trying to be supportive, but wonders how far he's planning on taking this. Ephram says he doesn't know. Amy's like, "Then why are you doing this?" Ephram says there's so much that's out of his hands right now; at least this way he feels like he's doing something, and maybe this way he can get some closure. Amy reminds him that he already got what he wanted: he knows where his son is, and that he's in a good home, surrounded by billionaires. She says what we're all thinking: "This is insane." Ephram tells Amy that she shouldn't have to deal with this, and from here
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on out, he's just going to handle it alone. Which we all know really means, "Buzz off, bee-otch."Brown House. Treat calls Delia upstairs, saying he has a big surprise. He opens the door to her room all, "Ta-DA!" Delia takes in her newly contractor-redecorated room, which is actually very nice, and spits, "It's BLUE." Treat says it's actually "robin's-egg." Delia: "It's UGLY." Oh, shit. Treat, instead of smacking Delia around for being such a disrespectful little shit, says cheerfully, "Okay. We can always change the color, that's not a problem." He tries to show Delia her cool new shelves. Delia demands to know where her old dresser is. Treat says they can move it back if she wants. Delia screams, "WHAT I WANTED WAS TO PAINT MY ROOM!" Treat calls her "young lady," and asks if she isn't a little old for temper tantrums. Delia tells her dad he treats (hee, that never gets old) her like she's five anyway. Treat says that's not true, but right now she's acting like a spoiled brat, and he gets enough of that from Ephram. Delia says she's about heard enough about Ephram. "Can't you talk about anything else on the planet? He gets EVERYTHING!" Treat says that is also not true. "He had three piano teachers, and I never even got my stupid horse, WHICH YOU PROMISED!" Treat says he just got her everything in that room. Delia says she doesn't want that crap. She starts crying, and it's killing me, brat or not. "We were supposed to do my painting project, and instead you invite a million people over and start blabbing with them, and now I'm stuck with this dumb egg room and it's all your fault!" Delia runs out, and Treat knocks the shelves over. Delia comes back and yells through her tears, "That was the only part I liked!" Aw, so awesome.
Abbott House. Patch and Hannah walk in together, dressed up all cute, and Patch remarks to Bright, "Well. I see you haven't moved." Bright says you have to take your time with the Sunday funnies. Patch and Hannah went to church together! Patch asks if Rose is still upstairs. "Yeah," Bright says, "and she looks like crap." Patch says he's sure Rose appreciates his concern, and thanks Hannah for her company before going upstairs to check on Rose, who BETTER NOT BE SICK. Hannah sits down heavily to Bright. "Problems?" Hannah says she's just a little frustrated with God right now; she has big problems, and can't even get His attention. Bright says he doesn't see how God could miss her, since she's at church all the time. "How many times you been this week?" Hannah: "Nine. If you count the pancake supper." Hee. Bright says she should get a Frequent Worshipper Card. Hannah says it seems pretty logical: if you want to talk to God, you go to church, that's where He works, right? Bright accuses her of hiding out, rather than looking for answers. Hannah would like to know from what. Bright's all, "Oh, I don't know, having to live your life? This disease has always been your excuse to not have to do stuff. Now? That is gone, and you don't know how to feel." Hannah says that is not true. Bright says if it were him, he'd be stoked, all out partying and celebrating, not hanging out with a bunch of Bible-thumpers. Hannah asks him what she should celebrate first, the fact that her dad's on a respirator, or that her brother won't take the test because he's too freaked out and now he and her mom aren't talking. She can't help it, she says, that she is looking for some sort of meaning in her life and he isn't. Bright says this isn't about him. Hannah gets up and tells him to just forget it, adding angrily on her way out, "I'll pray for you, Bright." Oh, Hannah. It's so funny when you're indignant.
Brown House. Nina comes over with a box, and tells Treat she was doing some spring cleaning and found a bunch of his stuff at her house. Nina's ass looks so good in those jeans. Why can't I get my ass to look that good in jeans? I hate asses. Treat barely looks up from whatever it is that he's working on. Nina asks him what the hell is wrong. Treat confesses that Delia's room turned out to be a disaster. Nina says periwinkle was a bold choice. Treat: "Robin's egg." He says he's made a huge mess out of everything. Nina asks if he's finally given in to the wallow. Heh. Treat says at least when he gave Ephram the studio, he got a hug. Nina says she knows he thought he could avoid the problem with Ephram by surrounding himself with everyone else, but it's not going to go away. Treat says he can't force Ephram to talk to him, so why push it? Nina: "Uh, because it's affecting everything else you do. You're fighting with Delia, you're fighting with Jake, and now you're trying to pick one with me, but I'm not going to let you, because the person you really need to be fighting with is Ephram." Treat says he can't fight with Ephram, because Ephram is right. "I made a terrible mistake, and I can't ask him not to hate me for it." Nina says maybe he should give Ephram a little space, but not to try to cram his catch-up time with Delia into one session, because she can tell if he's half-assing. "Like low-carb lasagna, I mean, what is the point?"
Amy walks into Ephram's studio and proclaims, "I? Am a goddess." Ephram is lying on his couch, being depressed. Amy asks him if he remembers Chris Templeman, the guy who tried to recruit him for Colorado A & M. Ephram says he didn't apply there. Amy says yes, but she remembered he loved Ephram, and also graduated from Juilliard, so she called him, and...he got Ephram another audition. Ephram can't believe it. Amy: "I know. You can worship me now." Ephram tells Amy he loves her, and he hates to tell her this, but he can't go -- he already bought a ticket to Marin County. OH MY GOD. Amy tries to talk some sense into her completely kookoopants boyfriend, but he won't hear it. He says piano isn't who he is anymore, and every time he thinks about New York he gets sick. Amy tells him that he needs to freaking stop, and focus, and remember what his life is about. "This life. Not the life that you didn't get. You're not going to get another chance at Juilliard, do you understand that? God, this is exactly why I didn't tell you in the first place." Oh. Oops. Ephram's like, "Wait, back up, what did you just say?" Amy realizes her mistake. She says she was going to tell him, but she didn't want to freak him out before his audition. Ephram is about to lose it. He asks her how she thought this was something that could possibly wait. Amy tries to explain that she didn't want him to screw up the audition that he worked his whole life for. Ephram tells Amy that she's just like Treat, only worse, because he thought he could trust her. Oh, shut UP. Amy says she was just trying to help, and asks him to think about what he's giving up. "Is seeing the baby really that important?" Ephram tells her that, right now, it's more important than her. He tells her to get out. I hate him. Commercials.
We come back to Amy sitting in her car, listening to sad music and crying. Patch goes out to talk to her. He asks how long she's been out there. "About twenty minutes. We broke up." Patch says he's so sorry, and that he was out of line the other night. Amy says she understands why he did it, why you want to protect the people you love. Patch says there's one thing he knows about her and Ephram, and it's that they have a remarkable penchant for working things out. Amy, crying harder now, says she's pretty sure it's over. Aw.
High school. Topher finds Hannah eating lunch, and says he hasn't seen her at church lately. Hannah says she's taking a break from church, and just trying to work some things out. Topher asks what it is. Hannah says she's got some things going on at home, because her dad has Huntington's disease. Topher says he knows, and he's been wanting to say something, but wasn't sure. He asks her if she has it. Hannah, who looks mortified, says she doesn't. She says that is actually the problem: God saved her from the disease, and she's been trying to think of a way to pay him back
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, but she can't figure out how. "It's like the guy refuses to take a check!" Heh. Topher says he can't see how she could do more for God, or for anyone, since she's already, like, the world's most perfect person. I love this guy! He tells Hannah that maybe she's already paid God back by being the person she is. Hannah clearly likes this answer, and tells Topher that there is one thing she's not great at. "I could probably take more risks." Topher says it's always nice to have something to work on. Hannah decides to take a tiny risk right there by asking Topher out. Topher, of course, says yes, and they both start giggling like loons. It's the cutest thing ever.Brown House. Treat tells Delia it's time for dinner. Delia snaps that she's going to eat in her room. Treat starts to walk out, then walks back in. "You know what? No. You're going to come downstairs, and you're going to sit down and have a meal with your family." Delia says it's just Treat. Treat says he doesn't care; he's the father, and this is the rule. He also says he knows he screwed up with the room, and he knows he's been distracted by Ephram lately, but fair doesn't always mean equal -- Ephram's older, and it's very different. "I promise you, when you become a teenager, you will get the same exact treatment." Delia asks if she'll get an ugly car, too. Heh. Treat tells her you have to take the bad with the good. Delia finds this an agreeable plan. Treat asks her what she's doing on the computer. Delia says she's just IMing with her friends. Treat asks if he can see. Delia starts explaining the complex world of pre-teen angst, and we fade to...
...a tree-lined street in Marin County. Ephram's cab pulls up to a house with, seriously, a white picket fence, and a baby swing in the yard. Ephram just sits and stares at the house until the driver has to ask him if he's getting out, or what. He says he's changed his mind, to go back to the airport, and the cab drives away. Well, that was pointless.
Treat is outside waiting for Ephram when he gets home. Ephram asks Treat if he's waiting for him. Treat says yeah, he sure is, and he found out from Amy where he went. Ephram's all, "I'm sure she told you." Treat gets up in Ephram's face, which he should have done a long time ago: "I'm going to say this once. I don't care how pissed you are at me, or Madison, or anyone else. You can't do this." God, finally. Treat says that they're going to have to figure out some way to live with this, and that Ephram doesn't have to forgive him, but he doesn't get to walk all over him, either. Ephram tells Treat that he's not trying to walk over him; he's trying to walk around him. Then he says, in this super-creepy monotone voice, "Don't worry. I'll be leaving soon." How? As a scary monster? Ephram steps around Treat and walks inside. Treat is left all by himself on the porch, and we fade to black.
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