This recap is brought to you by the two screaming children -- my daughter and her hyperactive little friend -- tearing up my house. In the event that I am unable to complete this recap because I have killed them both, I hope you will come visit me in prison. Okay! Let's get started.
Previously on Everwood: Ephram knocks up Madison; Treat forbids Madison to tell and drives her out of town; Ephram goes off to New York for a fun summer at Juilliard, accompanied by Amy; and Patch enters into a partnership with Treat.
Fade up on an auditorium at Juilliard. Ephram sits in the audience reading a letter. Treat voice-overs: "Dear Ephram, I know you're unfamiliar with the kind of mail that doesn't require a DSL connection, but let me reacquaint you with a relic from the past: stationery." Aw. I missed that goofy doctor. Treat goes on to tell Ephram that Patch is taking "a bit longer" than he thought to situate himself in the office -- as we fade to Patch supervising a gigantic construction crew -- but he feels things will return to normal any day. Treat walks out of his office and booms over to Patch, "Any progress, Partner?" Patch is all, "Sigh. Hardly." He then calls his workers "blue-collar buffoons." Nice way to get them to work hard for you, HAROLD. Treat, removing his earplugs, tries to ask how much longer the sawing and drilling is going to take, but Patch runs away, calling, "Back to work!" over his shoulder. Hee.
We cut back to a sidewalk café in New York, where Ephram is checking his email on a laptop. How very cosmopolitan. Amy voice-overs, "Okay, try downloading the picture again. I think I got it right this time, even though I still don't fully understand the difference between a .jpg and a .pdf." Well, Amy, I could tell you, as I am not only a brilliant writer, but also a web design genius, but it's really very boring. Ephram downloads a picture of himself and Amy in front of some famous NYC institution -- I believe it's Rockefeller Center, but I ain't never been to the big city before -- and his hair sure did grow fast in ten days. It's just as long in the picture as it is now. Speaking of which, let's talk about Ephram's hair. It's sort of long, and feathered, and parted in the middle, and the guy I dated at college in 1993 had hair exactly like it. Not cute. Anyway, we fade from the picture to Amy, sitting in summer school, looking at the exact same picture! How clever. She goes on to say that she can't believe it was only three days ago that she was eating hot dogs in Central Park with him, and now she's in stupid summer school.
Fade back to Ephram playing the piano at Juilliard, getting instruction from a professor. His cell phone is sitting on top of the piano, blinking its little voicemail light. It's from Bright: "Dude, you are not going to believe this. I just made thirty-seven baskets. IN A ROW. How hot is that?" Hee. It's incredibly hot, Bright. You don't even know.
Ephram practices and practices. He plays the piano all day long to romantic soundtrack music. Delia voice-overs: "Dear Ephram, I've been working on a new look since you've been gone. I'm telling you this 'cause you might not recognize me when you come home week. My hair's longer, and I'm wearing it down a lot." Aw. Fade to Delia, who has started a fire in her back yard grill with Bitchney. They're burning her hats. Nooooooo! It's Bitchney's influence, I'm sure of it. Run away, Delia! Treat runs out and douses the fire with an extinguisher. He voice-overs: "P.S. Please come home before your sister hits puberty and burns the house down."
Ephram on the plane. There's a voicemail from Amy saying she can't believe his flight got delayed again, and to call her as soon as he gets home, no matter what time. Cut to Ephram walking out of the airport. He looks up, and there stands Amy, leaning against her car. Good Lord, that Emily VanCamp just gets hotter and hotter. They smile and have sweet hugs and kisses. As Amy pulls up to the Brown house, Ephram marvels that Treat let her pick him up from the airport. Amy says that she and Treat have bonded a lot this summer, because he likes anyone who wants to talk about Ephram as much as she does. Ephram says it's too weird; he's picturing Amy and Treat splitting a Coke at Mama Joy's and it freaks him out. Amy: "One Coke. Two straws." Hee. Ephram gets his bags and heads in. Treat is waiting on the porch. He runs over and practically tackles Ephram with a hug. Ephram's all, "Dad. Air." Treat bombards his son with your typical parental welcome: "How are you? Did you eat? Are you hungry? Are you tired? You look tired. And older!" Ephram can hardly answer before Treat ushers him up to bed and tells him to sleep in. Ephram agrees that this is a good plan. Treat says, "It's good to be home, isn't it?" Ephram gives his dad a wistful smile. Treat tries to pretend it means nothing, grins for us, and we go to...THE BRAND NEW CREDITS! Which are nice and clean-lined and finally feature Merrilyn Gann. Good thinking, Berlanti.
The morning at the Brown house, Ephram sits at the kitchen table reading what looks to be a well-worn letter. Who, who, who could be the author? Delia screams, "Ephram!" as she spies her brother for the first time, and hits him with a hug, Treat-style. Ephram notices that she's wearing a dress. Delia says there's lots more where that one came from. Aw, Delia. Growing up and wearing dresses. Wait until you make your first trip to Sephora. Also, invite me and your daddy's money. Nina and her hellion-child, who is dressed up in the sort of hideous costume that little boys like to wear around and pretend they're normal, bust in the house. Nina greets Ephram warmly, and Sam heads for the refrigerator to get a "soda." Sam? After I kill the children in my house? You're . The phone rings; Delia answers it, and tells Ephram that it's Amy. Treat, who has just walked in, jerks the phone away and tells Amy that Ephram will have to call him back. Guess he didn't want their happy little scene of mayhem disrupted. Nina tells Ephram that she likes his sideburns. Is that what those are? Because I thought that Ephram had maybe just missed a few spots when he rinsed off his mud mask. Seriously, y'all, those are not sideburns. They are fug-burns. Treat ushers everyone out of the house so he can have some alone time with Ephram. He asks if everything is okay. Ephram says there's something important he needs to talk about. Treat says that he wants to hear everything, but that he has something to say, too, and he gets to go first. As usual. Treat commands, "Come with me." He leads Ephram to the garage, where he has set up the sweetest music studio EVER. Ephram is totally not as excited as he should be as his dad goes on and on about the soundproofed walls and recording equipment and whatnot. Ephram asks, "Where are you gonna park your car?" Treat tells him not to worry about it: "I sold it to pay for this." Heh. Ephram decides to hide his anger about...whatever it is he's mad about, and turns it around on Treat. "Why did you do all this?" Treat says Ephram deserves it. He says he was just like Ephram when he was younger -- he knew exactly what he wanted to do, and how much work it was going to be. And all he wanted was a place that he could call his own, and do that work. Ephram finally says thank you. Treat gives him another bone-crushing hug, and says he wants to hear all about his important news at dinner that night, but he has to get to work and make sure Patch hasn't bulldozed the place.
Cut to the Treat/Patch office, where Nurse Louise is feeding the fish in the gigantic new tank Patch has had installed. Patch tells that old troublemaker Mr. Jensen that he will most certainly not lease out his old medical office for a Pilates studio. Mr. Jensen! Doing Pilates! It almost makes sense. Mr. Jensen asks, "What about tae kwon do?" Patch respectfully decli
nes. Edna bustles over to give Patch a piece of her mind, but Patch stops her: "Ten feet, Mother. Those are the rules." Hee. Edna ignores him, and asks how much longer he's going to put off leasing his office. "Are you trying to lose money, or are you just plain stupid?" Oh, Feisty Nurse Edna. Like that new haircut, too. Patch says he just hasn't found the right person, one with staying power, so he doesn't find himself back in this situation come October. Uh huh.Treat walks in and notices the new fish tank. Patch gives him the low-down on the "75-gallon Imperial Reef System," complete with sand filtration and protein skimming. Treat says he thinks it's great -- not as great as the monolithic espresso maker that he can't use, but better than the air-purifying system that hums all day long. Patch remarks that he finds the white noise soothing. Heh. Edna hands Treat his mail. There's a letter in it addressed to "Dr. Brown," with a return address of one Madison Kellner in Denver, Colorado. Gag. This again? Do we even have to resolve it?
Cut to the Abbott house. Bright is explaining to Amy and Ephram how he totally lost to Gemma in strip basketball. Ephram and Amy are a little bit disgusted. Bright says all he knows is that summer rocks -- especially, he explains, the summer of your senior year, because your parents let you do whatever you want before you have to join the "real world." Ephram asks him when he starts classes at ECC. Bright says he has one glorious week left, which he plans to enjoy. "And that cuddling you're doing there? That's my cue to go." Amy and Ephram are all draped over each other on the couch. Get a room, kids. Or, you know, Amy's room. After Bright leaves, Amy asks Ephram if he'd like to go camping and to this water park before school starts. Ephram says he's not a huge fan of any activity involving bathing suits, but he could make an exception this time. They start to kiss, and Ephram says he has to go. Oh, no, trouble in paradise already? Ephram says he promised his dad he'd be there for his welcome-home dinner at six, but he should really practice before then. Amy: "Practice? Juilliard's over. Take a break, crazy man." Ephram says he'll call her after dinner, and confirms that they're still on for Saturday. He is behaving all distantly and weird, which is sure to fuel Amy's already substantial paranoia.
Back at the Brown house, Treat secrets himself in his office to open Madison's letter. Ephram busts in to inform his dad that Nina is there, and he has no idea how she got in. Treat says he gave Nina a key, if that's okay with him. Ephram says it's fine, and asks, "Anything else happen this summer you want to fill me in on?" Treat: "Nothing I can think of." Liar, liar, beard on fire. Ephram says he'll see him at dinner. Treat gets back to his juicy letter. Madison voice-overs: "Dear Dr. Brown, I've decided that I can't take your money. These last two months in Denver have been more difficult than I ever thought possible, but I've come to a decision about this baby, and I need to move forward with it on my own. You can no longer be a part of this. There are so many things I wish I could undo, but most of all, I know that I should never have come to you in the first place. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't contact me anymore. Madison." Whoa. Pregnancy's made Madison all hard, dude. Treat looks devastated as we go to commercials.
The morning, Edna finds Treat in his office, pounding on his computer. Edna informs him that she's glad he's there early, because "that idiot offspring of mine would like you to go over these magazine subscriptions, which apparently we need." Treat bangs his computer again. Edna: "Why are you hitting your computer?" Treat: "Because it doesn't work...and I hate it." Hee. Edna asks him if he's sure it's the computer that doesn't work. Treat says Mapquest is supposed to be sending him to Denver, but it keeps sending him to Bob Denver. Edna asks who Treat is seeing in Denver, then figures it out. "Madison. Is she okay?" Treat says he doesn't know, and hands the letter to Edna. He says he tried calling Madison, but there was no answer, so he figured he'd just drive down there and see what was going on. Edna asks him if there was a part of "do not contact me" that he didn't understand. Seriously. Turn the page, Treat. Edna says he just wants to see if the short leash he put on that girl is still intact. Treat says it's important that he know where she is. Edna: "Why?" That is what we all would like to know as well. Edna says she knows Treat thinks he did the right thing, and she may not agree with it, but she doesn't judge him. But now that Ephram's home, the guilt of keeping this secret is killing him, and Madison is giving him a second chance -- she's releasing him. "She did what you asked of her, Andy. Show her the same respect. Let her go." Amen, Nurse Edna.
Cut to Ephram in his room, reading his secret letter again. What is it with these people and their secret letters? Delia startles him by walking in and asking, "Whatcha doing?" Heh. Something secret, Delia. Not to be confused with the other activity one engages in secretly in one's bedroom that you'll learn about soon enough. Ephram says he's going to have to put a lock on his door. Aw. Don't be mean. Delia starts telling her brother about riding her invisible horse during the school year. She absent-mindedly picks something up off his bed, and Ephram flies off the handle, and orders her out of his room. Delia walks out and tosses a "you SUCK" over her shoulder as she goes. Bravo!
Everwood proper. Scott Wolf, beaming his very attractive smile, pulls into a space. Patch runs over and calls to his attention that he's parked in his "partner's" parking space. Scott Wolf is all, "Something wrong?" Patch explains that he's parked in the space of "Dr Andrew Brown, World-Renowned Neurosurgeon," and that even though the city won't mark them, those are totally their spaces. Scott Wolf, who has aged not one day in about ten years, except in all the good places, is just delightful as he introduces himself to Patch: "I'm Jake Hartman, by the way." I'm sure my delight will pass soon enough, but you're all right for now, Scott Wolf. I will also continue to call you Scott Wolf until I come up with something meaner. Patch introduces himself, and Scott Wolf is all, "Abbott? THE Doctor Abbott? I thought you'd be a lot older!" Patch explains that his father was also a doctor in Everwood, and Jake says his own father was a big fan of Dr. Harold Abbott, Sr. Patch is very charmed by all this, and invites Jake for some romantic coffee. Jake asks if he should move his car. Patch: "Just leave it." Heh.
Cut to Amy and Bright, shooting baskets in the driveway. Amy complains that something's off about Ephram, and she can't put her finger on it. Maybe if you could, Amy, something wouldn't be off. Dirty! Bright asks her what she's blabbing about, that they were all up in each other's "goo" yesterday. Amy says that Ephram wasn't completely with her, like, mentally, if he knows what she means. Bright says he really doesn't, and that she is a total drama queen. "Amy, you thrive on the crazy. Your life is going really well right now. You've got a totally cool boyfriend, and...you are looking for problems." Amy paces around, biting her fingernails, and insists she's not looking for problems. Bright: "He's not mentally with you? What does that even mean?" Amy: "It means...it's like...I'm crazy." Bright: "Thank you." And thank you, writers, for that brilliant exchange. Amy asks her brother why she's freaking out for no reason. Bright says her life has been such shit for so long, she probably forgot what it even feels like to be happy, and what she's feeling now is probably just a good mood. Hee. Amy agrees, and gets over something quickly for once in her lifetime. Now, while all this is going on, Rose is walking over in the background. And yet, we never see her talk to her children, or even up close. Wh
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ere are you going, Rose?Over at Mama Joy's, Patch and Scott Wolf are having coffee while Scott Wolf runs his mouth a frillion miles a minute. Patch goggles as Scott Wolf pours an entire pound of sugar into his coffee, steady talking the whole time. Scott Wolf is telling Patch about the best places to go snowboarding. He enthuses, "Sometimes you want to just get out there and shred, you know?" Little prissy Patch chuckles and agrees, "I do. I do." No, you don't, Patch, but we love you for it. Scott Wolf goes on...and on...and on...and on...about Colorado's awesome skiing. Patch says that Los Angeles has a few places within driving distance, too. Scott Wolf says he's so over L.A. -- that doctors aren't making house calls unless it's a silicone emergency, and that's not the way he wants to spend the rest of his life. He wants to settle down, meet a great woman -- and at this moment, Nina walks up to offer more coffee, which Scott Wolf accepts with one of his million-dollar smiles, and no, that wasn't an anvil that just hit me on the head at all -- and all he needs to do now is find a place to hang his skis and set up shop. Patch: "Oh, really? Are you in the market for a piece of prime real estate?" Scott Wolf says he really, really is. Patch tells Scott Wolf that he just might be in luck.
Cut to Amy and her Mom, shopping for a dress. Rose tells Amy that Ephram will faint when he sees her. She's tried on a very cute strapless yellow dress. Rose says she doesn't understand what the big deal is about this date -- they just spent ten very romantic days in New York. Amy says this is their first official date in Everwood, and the beginning of what could be the most important relationship of her life. Rose: "Well, in that case, I think you probably need a new pair of shoes, too." Aw. Amy hugs her mom and tells her she's the best ever. She then notices Ephram getting out of his car outside the shop. She says, "It's like we're always in the same place! Isn't that weird?" Rose says it could be that there's only one main street in Everwood, but fate's nice, too. Hee. Amy says she's going to call and say hi. She's beaming as she dials. Ephram checks his phone, turns it off, and walks the other way. Oh, man. Rose tries to do damage control: "Maybe your number didn't come up. Sometimes when I get private calls I don't answer it, either." Amy knows that ain't what happened, and we all need to kick Ephram in the knee.
Treat knocks on Madison's door. Lord, Treat, don't you learn? Her roommate answers. Treat tries to talk, but "Mindy" interrupts, "Madison's not here. You shouldn't be here, either." Treat says he knows. Mindy, who's being a total bitch in a total non-good-acting way, says, "No you don't. You don't get it. She trusted you. You were like a father to her. I don't know if you know anything about Maddie's family, but her dad took off when she was a kid, and her mom's kind of a religious zealot, so you can imagine how well she took the news about the pregnancy, which is why she came to you first. She said you were a good man. She said you would help her." Ouch. Treat says he tried to protect Madison from the beginning, and that's why he's there. Mindy tells him he's only there because he wants to know if Madison kept the baby or not. "You're just trying to cover your ass, and I'm not going to help you do it." Damn, girl. Calm down. Before she shuts the door in Treat's face, Mindy adds that she told Madison to call Ephram, that he deserved to know the truth about the pregnancy, and about what kind of man his father really is. Treat tries to say something, but Mindy goes on, "I don't know if she did or not. I just thought you'd want to know." Nice. Mindy slams the door. Treat looks like he might cry. Oh, the drama. Commercials.
We come back to Amy and Treat, sharing a sundae at Mama Joy's, and no, I am not kidding. Amy's complaining that she's worried about Ephram, how secretive and shut-off he's acting. "He says he's fine, but I know him too well. You're not getting any of this?" Treat: "Well, maybe. A little." Heh. Bet you're getting it now, huh, Treat? Wonder what that secret letter says. Amy wonders what could be so big that they couldn't talk about it. Treat tells Amy that she should just ask him. Amy says she could just not bring it up and the whole thing would disappear. Treat offers Amy this wisdom learned from experience: "Things you try to bury have a way of digging themselves up again." Just like that cat in Pet Sematary. Ew, scary zombie Ephram. Well, maybe it would get rid of the sideburns.
Cut to Patch, showing Scott Wolf around his old office. Scott Wolf loves all the perfect hardwood floors, and the great light, and the walls, and Patch gets so excited about explaining how much work his father did around the place that he accidentally talks himself out of renting out the place. He tells Scott Wolf that surely he'd prefer to schedule an inspection before they do any formal signing. Scott Wolf says that won't be necessary; it's only a lease, and he trusts Patch. Patch: "That's adorable, but I really think it's for the best. I'll call some people and get some quotes. And if you can't wait? You can't wait! I completely understand if you feel the need to take your business elsewhere." Scott Wolf is so confused, and says he doesn't want to take his business elsewhere, that he loves it. Patch shoves Scott Wolf out the door all, "Okay, then! Bye!" Hee. How much did you miss Patch Abbott this summer?
Treat stomps into his building and heads straight for his office. Edna tells his backside that he's got a lot of stuff to sign as he slams the door in her face. She asks Louise, "What crawled up his butt?" Louise shrugs. Patch walks in and does the same thing to Louise. Heh. Cut to Treat in his office. He leans back in his chair and falls over spectacularly. He yells in rage, and pushes out a tiny little flimsy chair. ["It's an Aeron; I have one, and they rule. Simmer down, Treat." -- Sars] "What the HELL is this thing?" Patch runs out of his office. He tells Patch that it's ergonomic. "I took the liberty of replacing your old chair, which didn't seem to provide enough back support. I thought you'd appreciate it." Treat is all, "Do I LOOK like I appreciate it?" Treat says he doesn't appreciate, in fact, any of the asinine changes that Patch has made to his office. "I hate the magazines, I hate the rugs, I hate that thing you call a coffeemaker, and I HATE FISH!" Patch says the fish were imported. Treat says he doesn't care, and he didn't ask for any of this crap. Patch puts his hands on his hips and says, "Well, forgive me for assuming that you might prefer a top-of-the-line espresso machine to your five-dollar garage sale Mr. Coffee! And as for the rugs, there is only so much wood a man can take!" Treat: "You can say that again." Hee! Patch asks Treat if he's saying he's wooden. Treat informs Patch that he is a two-by-four. Patch says he's sorry for making the office so unbearable; he was just trying to introduce some efficiency into this barnyard he calls a medical practice. Patch slams his office door. Treat storms back into his office and yells, "I want my chair back!" Awesome.
Cut to Ephram, practicing in his new studio. Treat walks in and asks if he's still alive since he hasn't seen him all day. Ephram brats, "It's called practicing. It's why you built this place, remember?" Treat asks Ephram what is going on. Ephram says he doesn't have time. Treat says he's had major attitude since he got home, and even Amy can tell he's upset. Oops. Ephram wheels. "Amy? You talked to Amy? I can't believe you." Treat says he just saw her at Mama Joy's for five minutes, and he doesn't even know what they're fighting about. Ephram tells his dad, "I don't want you having conversations with my girlfriend behind my back, I don't want you trying to fix things for me when I'm not around...when you're actually making things worse." Treat says he'll totally take back the studio. Ooh, real matu
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re. Ephram says he doesn't care, to go ahead and take it back; he never asked for any of it. Treat: "What is this? How did we get here? I thought you were done throwing tantrums. I thought we were starting to communicate." No shit. Ephram throws back, "Communicate? I don't see you communicating with me. In fact, if anybody's been acting weird around here, it's you. All the hugging, the big studio? What's it all about? It's a little hypocritical, don't you think?" Oh, man. Something is about to go DOWN. Treat tells Ephram that he tells him what he thinks is necessary. Ephram: "Well, so do I." Treat asks Ephram what he wants him to tell him. Ephram says he doesn't know, but Treat obviously has something to say. But what is it? What could it BE? Ephram ends the conversation with, "Well, I guess we all have secrets." Commercials.Patch is playing with his fish when we come back. Treat walks in. "Working weekends now, are we, or did I miss that memo?" Patch says that he's simply there to feed Hootie. He says he'll get rid of the fish. Treat says not to worry about it, and he wants him to know that his blow-up yesterday had nothing to do with Patch...or Hootie. Patch says he wasn't trying to change the office for his benefit, and if anything, it was an attempt to show his gratitude. Treat says there's nothing to be grateful for; that they're partners. "My moose is your moose." Oh, you two. Just go ahead and have sex right now and be done with it. Treat says the reason he came in was to hang their new sign before Monday. He holds up a sign that reads "Brown and Abbott Medical Practice." Patch says he loves it, but he had not idea how difficult it would be to give up his medical practice. He says he's been turning down offers for months, making each rationalization crazier than the -- and now he understands that it's him that is the problem. Treat asks if he's having second thoughts about the partnership. Patch says it's not that, it's that the office has been in his family for a long time, and he and his father worked side-by-side there for many years. "It's hard to let go." Treat offers, "You don't let go of your memories, Harold, they live inside you. They follow you wherever you go, whether it's across the street, or to another state entirely. Trust me, they hang on." Aw. Patch tells Treat he is wise, and they should hang their sign. Treat says he's going to just hang out inside for a while. Patch: "Troubles at home?" Treat asks Patch if he's ever kept a secret from his family, one that involved them. Patch says any secret that involved his family wouldn't be a secret very long in his house. Treat spills everything to Patch about Madison. He says now he doesn't know where she is, if she's had an abortion, if she kept the baby, or if she's told Ephram about it. Patch asks Treat if he thinks Madison has been in contact with Ephram. Treat says he doesn't know, but they've been fighting, and Ephram's been fighting with Amy, and it's a bad scene all around. Patch asks Treat if he thinks Ephram's told Amy. Treat: "I don't know. But it's possible." Then they hold hands and cuddle.
Cut to the Brown house. Ephram is eating cereal when Delia comes in, rolls her eyes, and tries to ignore her brother. Ephram tells her that maybe they can go see her horse today. Delia tells Ephram that he can't do this anymore. Ephram asks, "Do what?" Delia: "Yell at people for no good reason and then pretend that you didn't." Heh. Ephram says he's sorry. Delia says she doesn't care, she's still mad. Ephram says he's been going through some really big stuff lately. Delia: "So what? So have I. You never asked me about me. Not once." Ephram can't understand why Delia is giving him such a hard time. Delia replies sadly, "Because I waited for you, too." Aw. Damn.
Over at Patch's old office, Scott Wolf -- hi, chattery and cheesy and delightful Scott Wolf! -- is signing his lease. He tells Patch that he was a little worried when things got "freaky-deaky" there the other day. He signs the lease and gives Patch a check. Patch smiles and tells Scott Wolf that he's sure to have many happy years in the office. Scott Wolf says he hopes so, and that Patch is sure going to be a tough act to follow. Patch says he's sure business will be booming in no time, and he's excited about having a sporting goods store right there on Main Street. Scott Wolf is all, "Huh?" Patch: "Or will you be specializing in ski equipment?" Scott Wolf says there's been some kind of misunderstanding; he's not opening a sporting good store, he's a doctor. Patch can't believe it. "You're...you're what? You're twelve years old." Scott Wolf: "That's sweet. I've got a kickass dermatologist back home who's going to swing by a couple times a year. I could make an appointment for you?" Patch is losing his mind. He's all, "This is lunacy! You said place to hang skis! No understand!" Scott Wolf says it was just a figure of speech, and he's got to get going. Patch stands in his newly-leased office, confused as all get-out. It's funny, and I like it.
Cut to the Abbott house. Ephram is there to see Amy. As soon as Ephram says hi, Amy says, "You're breaking up with me, aren't you? Just get it over with fast." Ephram pulls out his super-secret letter, and asks Amy to read it. It's from Juilliard. It's his evaluation from the summer program, and it says that, basically, he failed. Amy can't believe it. "How could you fail piano?" Ephram says that according to Juilliard's standards, he is merely average. He goes on to explain that the reason he's been so distant lately is that he knows he is going to have to work his ass off in order to be ready for auditions in the winter, but he doesn't want to mess up his relationship with Amy. In a stunning display of maturity, Amy Abbott tells her boyfriend to go ahead and take some time to figure out what he needs. "Take some time. Figure it out. Call me when you know what you want. I'll be here...for a while, anyway." Aw, Amy. It's a Christmas miracle!
"The Only Living Boy in New York" plays as Ephram leaves the Abbott house and walks to his car. Fade to black.
Hi, everybody! It's great to be back!
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