Out on the high school football field, the seniors practice for graduation. Bright walks around all downcast as Irv tells us, "If you're lucky, the looking ahead is as much fun as the looking back. But not everyone is lucky." One of Bright's jock friends finds him in line, and Bright reminds him that they never finished that game of "H-O-R-S-E." The kid says he can't, because he has to go to college. Now? Another kid comments that his dorm's mini-fridge is going to be holding all beer, all the time. Bright says nothing. Aw, Bright. The kids leave for their universities immediately, and Bright's cell phone rings. It's Ephram, who is waiting in the stands for Bright to be finished. Someone's in love. Ephram tells his boyfriend to hurry up. Bright says it's not like he's having any fun. Ephram tries to make him feel better, and says he'll wait if Bright wants him to. Bright tells him to save himself and go home. Ephram reminds Bright that it could be worse: he could be stuck in high school for another year. Someone hands Bright his cap and gown, wrapped in plastic with a sticker proclaiming, "Your Future Awaits! Congratulations, Senior!" Bright looks sadly at it as Irv says, "Sometimes in these moments of great promise and potential, we often wish we could simply stop time to relish in those final moments of glory -- and to put off the future for just one more day." Bright stabs himself in the eye with the corner of his mortar board. Credits.
Morning at the Brown house. Treat pours Dr. Douglas (whom I completely forgot I nicknamed "Triple D" last year until someone in the forums reminded me) lots more coffee. Triple D says he's through with temperance, since he's getting a tumor removed from his brain in a week. Treat grins. He tells Delia that they have an appointment with a Denver radiologist, so they have to get a move on. Delia says she thought the operation was week. Triple D says it is, but Treat has to run some tests first. Treat tells Delia to get going, because Nina will be there to pick her up soon. Delia tells Triple D, "I hope you do well on your test." Man. Adorable. And about three lines in two weeks. Ephram gives his dad a permission slip to sign so he can get out of school the day. Treat asks what it's for. Ephram's all, "Don't you listen? Juilliard? Summer program? Audition?" Treat remembers, but says he may not be able to go with him. Ephram says it's fine; it's a quick trip. Treat looks sad that Ephram doesn't need him there.
Nina comes in looking fresher than ever. Divorce suits her. Treat gives her a rundown of their plans, then kisses her sweetly on the cheek and tells her how awesome she is. Rinda's been gone a week, Treat. Get a little rest first. Nina tells them to get going. They go. As Nina clears the dishes, she asks Ephram how everything is with him. Ephram tries to be vague about his love life, but Nina isn't having it. She tells him that she needs more names and verbs, and reminds him that she's the only female perspective he's got for miles. Ephram tells Nina what Bright said about Amy. Nina asks him how he feels about that. Ephram: "I don't even know if it's true. Last week Bright told me he saw Gwyneth Paltrow at Sal's." Heh. Nina says the first thing he needs to figure out is if he wants it to be true. Ephram says he's definitely not over Madison yet, and doesn't know if he's ready for another relationship. Nina thinks that's his answer, then. Ephram says he still doesn't know, though. "It's Amy." Nina gives him a sympathetic smile, but offers no advice. Don't start something you can't finish, Nina.
Cut to Patch, getting madder by the second in his insurance guy's office. His agent tells him that they don't "feel comfortable" keeping him on as one of their policyholders. Patch explodes. "You felt comfortable covering Abbott & Abbott for fifty years! You certainly felt comfortable hiking my premiums to $50,000 last year, which I PAID IN FULL AND ON TIME!" Insurance Guy: "I understand." Hee. He tells Patch that it's just too risky; if even one patient came forward with HIV, they'd be looking at the threat of a ten-figure lawsuit. Patch says he thinks it's time to have a word with Insurance Guy's supervisor. Insurance Guy says he is the supervisor. Patch says that's fine, he's more than happy to take his business elsewhere. Insurance Guy tells Patch ain't nobody else gonna cover him. Patch storms out with his mean face on.
High School. One of Amy's ditzy girlfriends is detailing her huge summer dilemma -- if she invites one guy to this party they're having over the weekend, she might get to stay at his summer cabin; if she invites the other guy, his family might ask her to go to London. Nice. Bitchy Paige asks Amy who she wants to invite. Just then, Ephram walks over, and Amy both avoids and answers the question by exclaiming, "Ephram!" Amy tells him to sit down. Bitchy Paige actually smiles sincerely at him. Amy explains that they were just talking about Paige's party that she's having the night, where they're going to watch movies about the end of the world. Ephram stares blankly. "Armageddon? 28 Days Later? Ben Affleck? Zombies?" Ephram just looks at her. Dumbass? Dumbass? Amy gives a little embarrassed laugh, and asks him to come. Ephram says he can't, actually. Amy: "Have a hot date or something?" Ephram: "Yeah. With three uptight music critics from the Juilliard Summer Program." Amy says it sounds pretty important. Ephram says it is, and he won't be back until late. He also explains that his dad can't take him, so he's going alone. Now it's Amy's turn to look at Ephram blankly. What is WRONG with you people? Ephram says he'll let the girls get back to planning their party. And being CLUELESS.
Abbott House. Patch walks in and asks Bright what he's watching. Bright says he's looking for those DeVry commercials. "They're always on except for when you need 'em." Heh. Patch tells Bright he's not going to DeVry, and to get up off the couch, because his grandparents will be there soon. He adds, "God help us all." Aw, Patch's favorite person is coming to visit! Patch picks up Bright's wrinkled cap and gown, which Bright has clearly been lying on, and says they'll have to have it pressed before graduation day. Bright says it doesn't matter, because he's not going. Patch is like, "What?" Bright says he figures he'll get his diploma in the mail. Patch tries to relate to his son that graduation is a big important milestone in his life, and he'll regret it if he doesn't go. Bright still doesn't wanna. He says he's got the regret thing down already. Patch reminds his son of all the hard work he's done that year, and he deserves to celebrate all his accomplishments. Bright: "What accomplishments? It took me thirteen years to finish twelve grades, Dad." Patch says he understands that Bright's upset. I have to say, Patch is really holding it together here. Bright says he's not upset -- he's embarrassed. Aw, Bright. Come here and let me hold you. Rose arrives with her parents just as Patch and Bright are heating up their argument. Bright says he busted his ass for County for four years and has nothing to show for it. Patch says he gets that, but to forget County and do it for his family. Bright shoots back that he's done plenty for their family already this year, and for once, he's going to do what he wants to do. Bright tells his dad, "Okay? So back off." The "...or I'll kick your ass, old man" look he gives Patch is beautiful. Grandma Betty comments, "Well, I'm glad to see that nothing has changed around here!" Patch's head spins around, and he projectile vomits all over Betty White.
Over in Denver, the radiologist is showing Treat some nice x-rays. He tells Treat that the meningioma has grown since they last looked at the film just a week ago, which is going to make the surgery even riskier. Treat wants to move the surgery to the n
ext day instead of the week. He tells the radiologist to get him an OR schedule, and also something called a "bipolar stimulator." Triple D tells Treat to cancel the stimulator, because he's not going that deep into the lobe. Brain surgery is dirty. Treat argues that he needs it, because he can't do a complete resection without his stimulator. Triple D says it's too late for the resection -- "take out what you can, and we'll treat the rest with radiation." Treat says if they leave any part behind, he runs the exact same risks as if they'd left the whole thing. Triple D doesn't care; he wants to play it safe and not die. This upsets Treat, but he accepts Triple D's order. Commercials.We come back to the Abbott House of Family Fun. Grandma Betty asks Bright if he'd like some breakfast. Bright says he has to get to school. As he walks out with his backpack, he adds to Patch, "Best place ever, right, Dad?" Heh. Grandma Betty shakes her head and tells Patch, "Such a shame. I read that most problems with kids today have to do with a poor male role model." Rose gives her mother a look, and Patch says that on that note, he has to get to the office. Grandma Betty says she thought Patch's office was closed. Patch lies that everything's all cleared up. Grandma Betty says she's glad, because now Patch can have a look at Herb's boils. Ew. Grandpa Herb explains to Patch that he has some boils that need looking at. Patch says he's very busy, and totally booked up. Grandma Betty says there's no sense in paying a "real" doctor to do something Patch can take care of, and he just has to. Rose says she's sure Patch can find ten minutes in his schedule. Patch sighs and tells Herb to be there at eleven. Again...ew.
Brown House. Nina has made some delicious-looking cinnamon rolls. Treat walks in and tells her she didn't have to go to all this effort. Nina says it was nothing. She needs to bring that nothing over to my house tomorrow morning. Ephram gets up and says he's off to Boulder. Nina has to remind Treat to tell Ephram good luck. After Treat yells, "Oh, yeah! Good luck!" at the door, Nina asks him if he's okay. Treat tells Nina that the tumor grew, and that's why they had to move up Triple D's surgery. Nina: "Meningioma?" Treat gives her a look. Nina says she pays attention. Heh. She tells Treat he's going to be great. Treat thanks her, and says it's too bad his arrogant ex-mentor doesn't think so. Nina asks what happened. Treat tells her that Triple D wants to go the safe route, even when it could mean impaired motor function, and the riskier surgery could promise a full recovery. Nina asks Treat if he's considered that Triple D is just scared. Treat thinks Triple D just doesn't trust him, and he's too cocky to be scared. Nina's like, "Okay, whatever." Treat: "What?" Nina asks Treat if he knows the saying "Don't drive angry," and tells him that the same thing probably applies to brain surgery. Treat says he is angry; he's accepted that there are things in life that he can't control, but this surgery is not one of them. He says if he can't use his instincts, then he's already playing with a handicap, and adds, "If he's not coming back the way he is now, then what the hell am I doing it for?" Nina tells Treat that maybe Triple D isn't the only one who's scared. Treat thinks about this, then gives Nina a look that says, "Nah, I'll just do it my way anyway." It's nice how Treat tries to fool himself about accepting things in life he can't control.
Cut to Ephram, packing his car. He closes the trunk and Amy is walking over, dressed in a very cute t-shirt. Ephram, surprised, asks Amy what she's doing there. Amy tells him she's got a big bag of snacks for the road. Ephram: "I thought you had a big apocalypse party." Amy says she thought it would be kind of false to go to a party with a bunch of people she hasn't talked to for a year, and she'd much prefer a road trip. And a little making out. Ephram tries not to act delighted, but he totally is. He asks Amy about the snacks. Amy grins and tells him that they have many options. Aw.
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Over at Patch's office, "Dr. Abbott" is handing out money to the people he's hired to pretend they're patients. He tells them to just sit anywhere. Old, old Mr. Jensen tells Patch that if he's going to sit there all day and pretend to be a patient, he's going to need more money. Heh. Patch says it won't take all day; he just needs them to pose while he takes care of his father-in-law. Another guy asks Patch what ailment he has. "It would help me get in character." Patch tells him exasperatedly that he has the flu. "Thurman" tells Patch that he had the flu already that year. Patch is like, "FINE." He tells Thurman he now has pneumonia. He points to the other patients and gives them their ailments. "Sciatica. Abdominal pain. Arthritis." When he gets to Mr. Jensen, Patch points and cries, "Incontinence!" Hee hee. Just then, Rose's parents arrive. Grandpa Herb can't believe that the office hasn't changed in years. Grandma Betty remarks, "Good thing you don't do the decorating at home. You should try to get one of those homosexuals from the TV to come in here and spruce the place up." Patch tries not to cry. Mr. Jensen tells Patch, "Twenty-eight minutes, Abbott." Grandma Betty asks what he means. Patch says it just means that they're very, very, very busy today, and he's ready to see the boils right away. Grandma Betty says she'll stay in the waiting room, because she's seen the boils already. One of the "patients" starts coughing dramatically, and Grandma Betty takes a seat as far away from him as possible. Maybe Grandma Betty will contract Ebola from one of them.
Cut to the audition. Ephram waits backstage for his turn, pacing nervously. Amy tries to make him feel better by telling a joke that Bright told her the other day. Ephram interrupts and says, "You know what? Let's just blow this off." Amy : "But you're up ." Ephram babbles that it's going to be boring for Amy, and he has no chance of getting in anyway, and if they leave now they can still make the party for the second movie. Amy says she wants to hear him play. Ephram is freaking out. He wants to go. Amy gives Ephram the pep talk of his life, saying that half of the kids there are just good at playing the piano, but Ephram is there because it's his destiny to play piano, so he doesn't get to decide when or if he plays. "You just do, because it's who you are. That's why we're here today." Hey, there's sweet Amy. I'm glad she's back. Ephram's name is called. Amy whispers, "Good luck," and takes his hand. It takes him a long time to let go as he walks onstage. They're so cute that I have to get up and fix myself a drink. Alcohol makes you mean, right?
Cut back to Patch's office. Louise comes in for "work," stops, looks around, and asks everyone what the hell they're doing there. Grandma Betty explains, as to a child, "They're in a doctor's office, dearie. They're here to see the doctor." Heh. Louise just stands there, dumbfounded. Patch comes out of his office and rushes over to Louise in a panic. Louise asks if their insurance got reinstated, and says she just came in to water their plants. Patch tells her that it certainly did, and he didn't call her because he assumed she was still in Barbados. Louise is all, "Barbados? I'm confused." Patch says of course she is, it must be the jet lag, she has a beautiful tan by the way, and pushes her out of the office. Hee. Rose's parents thank him and say they'll see him back at the house. Louise, still standing there, asks Patch, "Do I really look tan to you?"
Hospital. Treat, looking mighty fine in his surgical scrubs, goes to check on Triple D so he can convince him that the risky surgery is better. Triple D is still not into it. Treat sits down to him and says he knows his last surgery failed, and they lost Colin. Triple D tells Treat that it's not him; it's the odds. Treat: "Odds are something that the ordinary use as incentive or excuse. Does that sound familiar?" Triple D nods, defeated. Treat tells him that he has forgotten nothing he was taught -- every adage, every insightful example, every little thing, is all going to be in that operating room with them. Triple D sighs, and says, "Get the scans. We'll go over the resection together. Just don't screw the damn thing up." Yay! Treat wins! Commercials.
Dinner at the Abbott House. Grandma Rose tells the table that there were lots of crazies down at Patch's office that day. Patch starts to say under his breath, "Takes one to know one," but a look from Rose stops him. Patch starts again, and tells Grandma Betty, "Good eye. It's true, some of my patients do have mental health problems as well as physical ailments." Heh. Bright rolls his eyes. Patch gets up to fix more drinks for himself and Grandpa Herb. Grandma Betty goes on to say that it was wild and wacky down at that office -- not just the patients, but his crazy nurse. "Coming back early from Barbados, and simply to water a ficus?" Rose laughs, "Louise in Barbados? Where would you get an idea like that?" Everyone looks at Patch. Patch tells them it's not what they think. Rose is like, "Then why did you tell my mother that?" Patch realizes he's busted, and says it was the first thing that came to his mind. He confesses that he really didn't get insured again, and that he paid people to sit in his waiting room. He says he didn't want to mess everything up, not with Bright's graduation coming up and everything. Bright interjects, "Oh, don't even try to pin this on me." Hee. Patch says he's already started calling other insurance companies, and he's hoping at least one of them will come through. Rose asks what happens if they won't. Patch has no answer. Plinky Piano of Malpractice Sadness plays us out of the scene.
Cut to Ephram and Amy, leaving the audition. Amy says she was so nervous in there, she thought she was going to throw up. Ephram: "That's so sweet, I've never had a girl vomit for me before." Amy laughs, and as they get to the car, Ephram asks her why they're going home, since they're in an actual city, with actual fun things to do. He suggests they have a fancy dinner and check out the Boulder scene together. Amy hesitates, saying she doesn't have much money. Ephram pulls out a credit card and tells her, "That's what emergency credit cards are for, right?" Amy is pleased as punch. Punch is super-pleased this year, haven't you heard?
Cut back to the hospital. Treat's been operating already for eleven hours? A nurse informs Treat that the other doctor is ready to take over for him. Treat says the other doctor can go home, he's almost done. Treat's assisting surgeon, Dr. Adler, tells him that they have at least three hours to go. Treat says he's performed longer surgeries on tougher cases, and he's fine. The other doctor insists that Treat let his replacement take over. Treat gets irritated, and tells the nurse to call the replacement doctor in. Sassy Dr. Adler says, "Thank God." Treat adds, "He's to relieve Dr. Adler. Good night, Doctor." Heh.
Abbott House. Bright comes in and flops down on the couch. Patch turns the TV off and sighs dramatically. Bright: "You want me to go kill Grandma with you? We could go to prison together." Patch chuckles, then gets serious. He tells Bright that there's been an Abbott medical office in Everwood for over fifty years, and he always thought it would close when he retired, not for something like this. Bright assures his dad that he's not getting shut down. Patch says right now, he's not allowed to distribute Band-Aids, let alone write prescriptions -- if he can't find someone to insure him, he has no practice. Bright becomes the second of the Abbott children to give a pep talk tonight, and tells his dad that he's a great doctor, and he can't just give up. Patch says he hasn't given up, he's just run out of options. Bright tells his dad that he isn't the kind of guy who's just going to sit around and watch cable all day, even if he can't practice medicine. Patch says he's a doctor, and that's what doctors do. Bright
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reminds Patch that doctors do other stuff, too, like teach...and help firefighters. Hee. Patch says he appreciates what Bright's trying to do, but his situation is beyond good advice and a sunny outlook. Bright: "Why, 'cause you're scared? I get that. I'm mastering scared right now." He tells Patch that maybe that's the point, to get something out of being scared, and that's why he didn't want to go to graduation, because he was going to be the only person who didn't know what they were doing . "But now that I think about it, I'll also be the only one who's psyched to figure it out." Seriously, Bright is the wisest and smartest. Bright says it kind of makes him want to go -- sure, he doesn't have a plan, but someone's got to represent. Aw. Patch smiles at his son proudly. You've done us all proud, Bright! We love you! Take off your shirt!Amy and Ephram are in Boulder, and have just had their caricatures drawn. Ephram says that's the worst picture of him ever made, and he actually had a good one of them done on Coney Island one time. They're walking up to a gazebo in some kind of square, and it looks exactly like Stars Hollow. I think I see Kirk in a tree off to the left. Amy says she bets Ephram can't wait to get back to New York. Ephram agrees that he's excited about being there over the summer; he loves the unpredictableness of it all. Amy says Everwood is pretty unpredictable itself. Ephram: "What was the last thing that shocked you in Everwood?" Amy: "Well, you." She tells him that when he came to Everwood with his purple hair last year, it was pretty shocking. Ephram says it's sad that his hair is the most shocking thing that's happened in the last sixteen years. He sits to Amy in the gazebo, and tells her that meeting her wasn't that shocking. He says it's pretty standard that he'd move to a town like Everwood and totally fall for a girl like her, and she wouldn't like him back. Amy gives him a look. "I didn't always not like you." Ephram asks her when she ever liked him. Amy admits, "Now. I like you now." She tells him that she's liked him as more than a friend for a while, she just didn't know how to tell him, or if she should. She gives him an embarrassed smile. Aw, Amy.
Ephram says nothing but, "Wow." Then he tries to kiss her. Amy goes to kiss him back, then says, "Wait." Ephram's like, "More talking? Now?" Amy tells him it's just that he didn't seem surprised at this big admission she just made. Ephram: "I said, 'Wow.'" Heh. Amy still thinks something's up, and asks him if it was that obvious, and if he already knew. Ephram, trying valiantly to cover his and Bright's asses (mmm!), says he kind of knew, but she didn't do anything to embarrass herself, if that's what she was thinking. Amy gets all weird, saying she knows something's going on. Ephram finally admits that Bright told him. Amy can't believe it. She loses her shit and starts walking off. Ephram follows her all, "Are you crying? What's going on? Why are you crying?" Very nice, sensitive boy. Amy tells Ephram through Bangs of Sadness that it was very hard for her to tell him how much she liked him, and he knew the whole time, and she can't believe he'd do that to her. Ephram, and the rest of the world, is like, "Calm down, man." Amy says she's completely humiliated, and thinks the whole night was a sham. Ephram says he was just trying to get her to say how she felt, and why is that so wrong? Amy says it's not fair, because he tricked her into it. Ephram reminds her of all the times she's lied to him -- with her dad, and Colin -- because she knew he would do anything for her. "You played me. Well, tonight, I played you." Ouch. Amy says she thought they were ready for this, but they are obviously not, and it's horrible how they hurt each other all the time. Ephram says they can start over, and treat each other better this time. Amy pouts, "I don't want to. I just want to go home." Shut up, Amy. Commercials.
Hospital. Treat's taking a little nap in the recovery room with Triple D. A nurse wakes him to say he has a call at the nurse's station. It's Ephram. Treat gets up and looks at Triple D. The nurse says he came through great, and everything looks good. Treat smiles at his handiwork, then goes to the phone. Ephram tells Treat that he's got great news -- he got into Juilliard's Summer Program. Treat is like, "Uh...great." Then he can't figure out why he's so not excited. Ephram says they told him he was the best they saw in Colorado. Treat asks if he's told Will yet. Ephram says he wanted to tell Treat first, and he thought they could book a ticket when he got home that night. Treat says they don't have to do it so soon, do they? Ephram says he has to be in New York the week, so kind of. Treat says they'll talk about it when they get home, except he totally doesn't want to. Ephram asks about the surgery. Treat says it went really well. Ephram: "I guess it's a great day in the history of the Browns." Treat, sadly: "Yeah. I guess it is." Aw, his little boy is growing up. Wait until he meets me, Treat.
Cut to the Abbott house. Patch is filming everyone getting ready for Bright's graduation. He's so proud. Bright comes down in his cap and gown. Patch tells him he looks dashing. Amy snarks that it's only because she had to tell him how to put his hat on properly. Bright: "It's called style, little sister. Maybe you should try it." Heh. Patch tells everyone it's time to go. There's a knock on the door. Grandma Betty opens it to find Irv and Edna standing there, and greets them, "Oh. It's you." Edna tells her it's so nice to see her, and asks her if she remembers her husband. Grandma Betty: "How could I forget? How are you, Merv?" Irv, much too graciously, tells her he's just fine. Rose ushers everyone out the door, as the phone rings. Patch stays behind to answer it. He says, "Uh huh. I see. I'm sure you know that prior to this, my record was impeccable." Aw. Patch says he understands, and hangs up. Rose comes back in to retrieve him, then sees the look on his face. Patch just gives her a big hug and says, "Come on. Let's go watch our boy graduate." There are a few tears, but it's totally because I'm drunk.
Over at the Brown house, Treat is telling Nina that Ephram got accepted into the program at Juilliard. Nina says that's great, then sees Treat's sad face. "That's not great? That's horrible?" Heh. Treat says he didn't think he'd be that upset that Ephram was going away for the summer, and he's the most selfish father in American history. Nina's official diagnosis is that Treat's exhibiting early signs of "empty nest syndrome." She also says it's even worse for Treat, because Ephram's talent could take him even further away from home than most kids go, like it did with Treat himself. Treat: "Great. These are the genes he inherits. He couldn't have just gotten my eyebrows?" Nina says that Ephram is going away eventually, and the only thing to do is enjoy the time Treat has with him now. Treat smiles at Nina and says, "Thank you, Dr. Feeny." Nina: "You're welcome, Dr. Brown." Yep. They're totally in love.
Graduation. Ephram finds Amy before the ceremony starts, and wants to talk to her. Amy tells Ephram that she's sorry, and she knows he's sorry, so they don't really need to talk about it. Ephram says he wasn't trying to apologize; he just wanted to thank her, because she's the one who helped him get into Juilliard. Amy says that's great, but she's clearly sad that he's leaving. Ephram thanks her again, and leaves her to think about what a fool she acted.
It's ceremony time. The principal is on the stage, and announces that without further ado, he welcomes them to Peak County High's graduation ceremonies. He starts with the first graduate in the class. "Harold Brighton Abbott." Oh, man. Harold! Brighton! Abbott! It's perfect. Bright is so busy looking back at everyone cheering for him that he forgets to go get his diploma. His name is called again, and he walks gleefully to the stage. All the Abbotts, and Ephram, cheer wildly. Irv tells us, "We're taught to remember the significant moments, the rites of passage. In truth, the smaller steps that get us to these momentous occasions are just as significant. Looking back, you see it's not just the high points, but the low points that define who we are -- and who we will become." Bright cheers himself on, and switches his tassel to the other side. He's so hot. And that's all, folks.
week on Everwood: I don't know what it is, but it involves Madison, and it ain't gonna be pretty.
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