Big props to my forumites, who have been like kids at Christmas with this episode.
Morning has broken, like the first co-o-o-n-tact. Sick bay. Phlox greets and feeds his various "pets," including the chittering Pyrithian bat we saw in "Fight or Flight." Feeling a bit peckish himself, Phlox samples a big, juicy, green caterpillar-type thing and feeds another through a cage. I'll bet it was a Gummi caterpillar.
Sick bay. Hoshi walks in, waving a clear yellow disk. "People are getting jealous. You get more letters from home than anyone else on the ship," she tells him. Ah, I see that we are continuing with the Hoshi-is-a-secretary metaphor by making her sort and deliver crew mail. Yes, she's the Communications Officer, but it's all just a little too convenient, don't you think? "What's her name?" Hoshi teases, but Phlox just chuckles and tells her it's from Dr. Lucas, a fellow doctor in the Inter-Species Medical Exchange program. On behalf of the viewing audience, Hoshi says she didn't realize there were humans living on Denobula. Phlox tells her that Dr. Lucas is the first, and since he helped him "get settled in" when Phlox first arrived in San Francisco, he wanted to return the favor. Hoshi reminisces that she had a pen pal from Australia when she was twelve. "I loved getting her letters. It was like this little window into distant places with strange sounding names," Hoshi says and asks if they're "still on" for that night. "Oh, yes," Phlox trills, "I'm looking forward to it. If you think you're ready, we can tackle gerunds today!" Hoshi says she can hardly wait, and leaves.
Phlox plays his audio letter from Dr. Lucas, who says he is in the middle of Denobulan mating season, "so [Phlox] knows how that goes." No, wait -- how does it go? I want to know! Dr. Lucas continues, saying, "I thought human reproduction was complicated. You Denobulans make us look like single-cell organisms." Okay, maybe I really don't want to know, after all. Dr. Phlox walks through a corridor, and the VO is his own, audioing a letter to Dr. Lucas. "I know the rigors of mating season only too well. It might help to bear in mind that a dose of niaxilin can be quite effective in separating the combatants," Phlox's VO says, which changes my mind again -- "separating the combatants"?! Phlox VO continues, "It sounds like you've settled into your new living quarters, that part of the city has some very lively Kaybin bars along the river. They're open all night, if I recall. Please don't venture into them unescorted -- they can be quite disturbing to the uninitiated." Sounds like Clarksville, TN.
In the midst of this audio letter, Phlox arrives at Engineering and is called up a catwalk by Trip. Phlox joins him and another crewman, sitting on the ground and looking a little stunned. "He was trying to reroute a nitrogen valve and the seal blew," Trip explains, and we can see that the red-shirt's face is shiny in patches with fresh burns. "How bad is it?" Trip asks. Phlox gets to work, explaining, "Oh, it's superficial. Only first-degree burns. A little dermoline gel should do the trick." He whips out a little jar, rubs a long cotton swab over it (the kind they use on your throat), and dabs at the red-shirt's face. Everyone knows I'm no fan of Trip's, but it was kinda nice that he stayed with First-Degree Burns until Phlox got there, although I did notice something steaming out behind him, and I started to wonder if it was the nitrogen valve, and whether it was a good idea that no one had resealed it after it "blew." Oh, well -- the quality of mercy not being strained and all that. Phlox VOs to Dr. Lucas that most of his work is very routine, with only the occasional emergency.
Phlox has now arrived in the Mess Hall and is looking around at various crew members as he continues audioing, "And you'll be pleased to hear that the crew finally seems to be growing accustomed to an alien doctor on board. I must admit I wasn't planning to stay this long, but the opportunity to observe your species on their first deep space venture has proven irresistible." Reed dashes by, and Phlox tries to get him to have dinner with him. Unfortunately, the writers, being of the mind that they gave him too much face time last week, make Reed run off, not to be seen for virtually the rest of the episode. On the strength of that, I completely understand if you decide to stop reading at this point. Phlox VOs that "it's a bit daunting, at first, trying to socialize with the crew, form friendships, but our profession guarantees that sooner or later, everyone comes to see us. It makes interaction quite a bit easier."
Now we're back in sick bay, and Phlox is examining an upper G.I. scan. "It's just a little gastrointestinal distress," Phlox says, turning to Cpt. Quantum. Wow. I'd have thought that was a shout-out if they hadn't been so set on misdirection comedy. Quantum subsequently turns to the "patient" actually being examined. It's Porthos. Aww! "He hasn't been himself, lately," Quantum says with furrowed brow, as he ruffles Porthos's ears. Gee, must be all that cheese you're not supposed to be giving him. And because Phlox and I are just so making with the synching bio-rhythms, he says, "Well, you've been feeding him cheese, again, haven't you?" Phlox asks. "You've got to learn how to say no, Captain." Quantum tells Porthos, "No more dairy products. You hear that? Doctor's orders." You could stand to slack off a bit yourself, there, Cpt. Boursin. Phlox audios some more about being amazed how humans forge "such intimate bonds with lesser creatures." Hey, you just watch your mouth, there, Phloxy; I've got two felines here who attend MENSA meetings with the best of them. Okay, maybe just Poppadum does; Hunca Munca's really not that bright. "It's surprising what things you humans choose to invest your emotions in," Phlox VOs, as Quantum cradles Porthos and thanks him. Phlox tells the captain that Porthos was one of his "more cooperative" patients that day. "See all the trouble you cause?" Quantum asks Porthos as they walk out together. Hey, buddy? Don't blame the pooch; you're the enabler of this cheese addiction. Phlox audio-muses about the Captain anthropomorphizing Porthos because he talks to him. "Although I'm fairly certain it has no idea what he's saying. Then again, I've been known to speak to my Pyrithian bat on occasion," Phlox sniffs to himself.
Gary Cooper's extremely large face fills a screen as he modulates love to a dewy-cheeked Ingrid Bergman. Phlox and a flock of crewmen sit in a mini-theatre watching For Whom the Bell Tolls. At least, the flock watches the movie, whereas Phlox prefers to observe those around him. As Ingrid whimpers largely, Ensign Scrunchie-Face (tm Omar) passes Phlox some popcorn in a Pyrex baking dish. Much like the one I used to make Tollhouse Squares laced with malt liquor. Scrunchie-Face notices Phlox's inattention to the movie, and tells him they can go if he's bored. Phlox declines, saying he really wants to see what happens. "You won't be disappointed, the ending's classic," Scrunchie says. "Not the film," Phlox informs her. "I'm sensing a rising emotional undercurrent in the room [so, what -- he's part Betazoid, now?]. I want to see if it culminates in some sort of group response." ORGY! ORGY! Sorry, flashback from my college days. Oh, simmer down, Mom and Dad. Scrunchie divines that there are no movies on Denobula, and Phlox responds with, "We had something similar a few hundred years ago, but they lost their appeal when people discovered their real lives were more interesting." I'm glad my life isn't as "interesting" as some of the movies out there today. How shuddersome. Scrunchie comments, "It's nice to take a break from real life every now and then, don't you think?" Phlox shrugs, unconvinced. As Ingrid goes into a full-blown sob-o-rama, Phlox leans forward in his seat to scrutinize the person in front of him. It's Trip, and he's crying. I'd get all "awww" about it if he weren't such a twerp. He notices Phlox noticing him, and pulls the old "something in my eye" excuse. Luckily for him, Phlox doesn't try to hypospray him, but just sits back in order to VO, "It's remarkable, Doctor, even fictional characters seem to elicit human compassion [wow, should he visit my forums and see what sort of 'human compassion' certain fictional characters 'elicit'-- panty bulges, indeed!]. My shipmates have calmly faced any number of dangers and yet a simple movie brings tears to their eyes." The camera pans to show Phlox's shipmates clutching at their throats, dabbing their eyes, and in various other phases of soppiness.
As Scrunchie and Phlox walk along the corridors, Phlox quizzes her on medical jargon. They get to the heart, which Scrunchie describes as "the seat of all joy and sadness." Of course, Phlox, channeling Data -- since this is attempting to mirror "Data's Day," or Data's relationship with that chick in "In Theory"-- explains that "physiologically, the heart is nothing more than a very efficient pump." He asks why humans should think it has any relation to emotion. Scrunchie chastises him, saying that he might know a lot about the "cardiopulmonary system, but [he has] a lot to learn about the human heart." Cue Louis Prima singing Jungle Book's "I Wanna Be Like You," as Phlox shows potential signs of starting down that well-trodden path of aliens/androids/Vulcans who attempt to embrace and emulate human emotional responses in The World Of Trek.
Thankfully, they have reached Scrunchie's quarters, but as Phlox tries to beat a hasty retreat, Scrunchie detains him; she wants to "thank" him for a fun night. Phlox says, "You're welcome," once more trying with the leave-taking. Scrunchie stops him again, saying that Sunset Boulevard is being shown the following week, and she thinks Phlox would like it. Gee, think it's a coinkydink that both Sunset Boulevard and For Whom the Bell Tolls are Paramount movies? Also, if they're trying to class up this show, forget it. Give me The Women and The Philadelphia Story and maybe we'll talk. "I'm sure I will," Phlox says, trying to leave AGAIN, but the ensign clasps his shoulder. Everyone who thinks Scrunchie needs to stop behaving like a particularly rapacious Venus Fly Trap, take a swig of Post Road. [Burp.] Phlox looks at Scrunchie's hand, which she removes quickly, saying, "Sorry, I forgot, Denobulans don't like to be touched." Billingsly does a good job of looking discomfited and attempting to hide it as he says, "It's all right, I'm trying to shed some of my cultural inhibitions." Of course, Scrunchie must take that as an invite, so she kisses him on the cheek before sashaying into her quarters. Phlox walks away and VOs to Doctor Lucas that he thinks Ensign Cutler might have romantic intentions toward him. "I can't be certain, however, the pheromones of human females aren't as potent as Denobulans'." See how he didn't actually say "female Denobulans"? Still hope for the "Queer as Spock" faithfuls, eh, NashVegas?
Outer Space. Enterprise stumbles upon a stray vessel. On the bridge, Quantum asks T'Pol if there are any inhabited planets in the neighborhood, in the neighborhood, in the neigh-bor-hood! Oh, who are the aliens in your neighborhood? They're the freakers that you meet, when you're walking down the street, they're the freakers that you meet -- each -- da-a-ay! T'Pol tells him, "There's a Minshara-class planet less than one light year away." When Hoshi hails and receives no answer, Reed tells all and sundry that the stray vessel is pre-warp. Now, where did I leave that amazingly dusty book called The Count of Prime Directive by Alexandre Dumbass? Ah, it's under this forty-ton cheese anvil. Reed also says that the vessel "could be unmanned," or that it could be a probe. T'Pol isolates two faint bio-signs, so Quantum orders the strange and potentially lethal vessel into a launch bay and alerts sick bay. Too bad they didn't notice that the name of the little ship was S.S. Typhoid Mary. Okay, not really.
Sick bay. Phlox hyposprays a bumpy-faced humanoid to consciousness. Quantum explains to the newbie that they found his ship adrift. The alien mutters a bit in his alienspeake until Hoshi properly calibrates the Universal Translator. Finally, it's all in English. The alien recognizes that Enterprise is warp capable, and tells the humans that he and three other ships left his planet, Valakis, more than a year ago, in order to find a "a more advanced people" who might be able to cure his species of a condition that has already killed off twelve million on his homeworld and from which he currently suffers. Bumpy Face says they figure those with warp drives have better medical plans, superior to the HMOs on Valakis. T'Pol notes aloud that his species has met other warp-capable people before. "The M'klexa and the Ferengi -- they've both visited our world. Do you know them?" Bumpy Face asks. T'Pol answers in the negative. Hmm, wonder where the Ferengi are hiding during Kirk's servitude. And it's odd that their mercenary natures didn't make Bumpy's species pay through the nose for a cure -- even if it was only a fake cure -- or for warp technology. Bumpy asks the Captain if he'll allow Phlox to help them. Quantum takes T'Pol aside -- but not really out of audio range -- and asks her opinion. T'Pol tells him that since Bumpy and friends have already met several -- and actually came looking for -- warp-capable species, the "risk of contamination seems acceptable." Since his opinion agrees with hers, for once, Quantum orders Phlox to get busy with his healing. Phlox looks less than thrilled. He looks downright worried, in fact, and VOs to Dr. Lucas that he's "been presented with a rather unusual case involving a pair of alien astronauts." Phlox continues, "It may not surprise you that they landed in my sick bay through an act of human compassion." I'm confused -- is there possibly supposed to be an overriding theme in all this?
I'm so sick of trying to figure out what the future name for CAT/MRI scans are, so I'm just going to call them SCATs ("stellar CAT scans") because then we can skeep dee dot diddley de bop doo niddy all the time. Or at least I can do that in my head. Anyway, glad we have that settled. Phlox SCATs Bumpy and VOs that he thought he had it bad when he was dealing with fifty patients at a refugee camp, but now he has to deal with over fifty million.
Mess hall. Phlox and Hoshi dine together, and Phlox attempts to teach Hoshi his language. Subtitles have been thoughtfully provided for the viewing audience. Speaking Denobulan, Hoshi asks how Phlox's patients are doing, and the good doctor tells her, "Their condition is grave, but they are resting now." They discuss the food, and Hoshi calls eggplant a "nostril" when trying to explain to Phlox that it's a fruit rather than a vegetable. In English, Hoshi asks Phlox about his relationship with Ensign Scrunch, but he refuses to answer her questions unless she speaks Denobulan. So, in Denobulan, Hoshi asks if Phlox and Scrunch are mating. Oh, but it's funny because she meant to say "dating." Phlox says he isn't sure what Scrunch's intentions are. Hoshi tells Phlox that "there are ways [he] can tell," and asks if Scrunch wants to spend time with him or if she finds reasons to -- here Hoshi struggles to find the word "touch" in Denobulan -- "make physical contact with you," Hoshi finally says, giving up on vocab and reaching over to Phlox's hand to demonstrate her meaning. Phlox looks uncomfortable (but Hoshi doesn't seem to detect it) and tells her that Scrunch kissed him on the cheek the other night. He asks for Hoshi's advice. "I think you make a very cute washboard," Hoshi tells him in Denobulan. "I beg your pardon!" Phlox says. "Couple!" Hoshi says, laughing in English. "Cute couple!" Linda Park was very good in this scene, but gimme jokes about vocab was only funny in seventh-grade French class.
The Canyonlands are the most underrated and undervisited national park in our country, yet they film tons of car commercials there.
Enterprise approaches a planet, and the tension on the bridge is so thick, you could cut it with a Bat'leth. Reed reports a "crowded" atmosphere around the planet. "A lot of spacecraft and artificial satellites," Reed concludes. "Nothing I can't avoid, sir," Mayweather says nonchalantly. Quantum orders a "low orbit" because the planet is expecting them. Phlox VOs that the captain has ordered all the ship's resources put to use in order to help "people [Quantum] didn't even know existed two days ago." And again, Phlox says he's struck by the anvil of how much humans want to help others.
Valakis. Animation of a futuristic city with a monorail, looking not unlike Epcot. In a hospital ward, Phlox and the Valakian medical chief-of-staff discuss the disease. The Enterprise crew learns that the disease becomes more resistant with each aggressive treatment they try, and the rate of infection is one out of every three Valakians. Quantum shows how good he is with pointing out the bleedin' obvious by saying, "It's a full-blown epidemic." Suddenly I notice how short Bakula is compared to Billingsly and the Valakian chief of staff. Come to think of it, all the ST captains, save Sisko, have been shortish. The Valakian doctor gestures at some oxygen tents and says, "These are in the most advanced stage." Phlox and Quantum walk over to examine the patients. "You're treating them with a synthetic antibody?" Phlox asks. The Valakian doctor explains that they were using one at first, but then the disease mutated and attacked the respiratory system. "There's no way of controlling it, pulmonary failure usually occurs within a few days," the Valakian doctor finishes. During this conversation, Quantum paces around the ward with a furrowed brow. This is his "troubled" look, I gather. Phlox hypothesizes, "Captain, treatment with priaxate should ease the symptoms in the sickest patients, at least temporarily. I can easily show the Valakians how to synthesize as much as they need." Quantum gives permission for him to do so, as T'Pol and Hoshi walk up. Phlox asks the Valakian doctor for the case histories and lab work of all the patients, so he can examine every stage of the disease. The Enterprise entourage meanders through the ward, but Hoshi hangs back a bit. She finds Bumpy's oxygen tent and stops an orderly, asking, "Excuse me, we're the ones who brought him here, can you tell us how he's doing?" The orderly speaks in a foreign tongue to her, which isn't translated. Wait, didn't he just say, "You look pretty, Cassandra," in Cantonese? Guess the UT's on the blink again. Hoshi calibrates it and asks the orderly to repeat himself. If she can't understand him, how can he understand her request?
Elsewhere in the ward, T'Pol suggests to Quantum that they appoint security to guard Phlox and his equipment. "I don't think these people are about to steal anything," Quantum retorts. You didn't think the Praying Mantis aliens were that dangerous either, and we saw how far that got a few of your red-shirts. "Your experience with lesser civilizations is limited, Captain," T'Prudent says. "You might be surprised what a temptation our technology can be." While Quantum takes some time to digest this, T'Pol notices Hoshi and the orderly attempting to communicate, and walks over. Finally, the Captain follows and asks Hoshi what's going on. Hoshi explains that the UT can't seem to translate the orderly's language. The Valakian doctor and Phlox walk over, and the Valakian doctor says something to the orderly in his untranslatable language. The orderly bows and scampers off. "He doesn't speak the same language as you?" Hoshi asks. "No, he's Menk!" the Valakian doctor says, as though that explains everything. When his visitors look confused, the Valakian doctor tells them that Menks aren't as evolved as Valakians, "but they're very hard workers." So, they're slaves. Quantum verifies that the Menks are indigenous to the planet. "Is that so strange?" the Valakian doctor asks. Quantum says, "On most of the planets we've encountered, only one species of humanoids survived the evolutionary process." Valakian asks if T'Pol and Quantum aren't from the same planet. Quantum and T'Pol exchange looks. "No," T'Pol answers. "We may look alike, but the similarity ends there." Phlox comments that he doesn't see any Menk patients, and asks where they're being treated. The Valakian doctor says the Menks haven't contracted the disease. Who's the more evolved species now? I think we can see where this storyline is going. Phlox asks the Valakian doctor if he's researched the Menks' reason for immunity. "Oh, it was one of the first things we pursued, but Menk and Valakian are physiologically incompatible," Valakian Doctor says, repressing a shudder. Phlox comments that it could still be significant, and requests all the Valakian's Menk data as well. "Of course," Valakian doctor says, a bit stiffly.
Phlox VOs to Dr. Lucas, "I had meant to transmit this letter by now, but the Valakian epidemic has been taking up most of my time." Phlox hovers over patients, checking their various systems and monitoring their progress. All the patients have iMac oxygen masks over their mouths made of translucent chartreuse. Green's really not a appetizing color to use in hospital equipment or supplies. White, blue, grey, and purple -- fine. Red, yellow, green, and possibly orange? Ick. Phlox VOs, "Working with the physicians here has been quite fulfilling. I suppose it's the reason we joined the Inter-Species Medical Exchange, but I worry about falsely raising their hopes." Phlox shows the Valakian doctors how to use a DiscMan to take readings and then analyze them on a hospital computer. Phlox VOs, "Despite Captain Archer's confidence in me, I'm afraid the scale of the disaster may outweigh our best intentions." Phlox hyposprays a young patient and pats his shoulder. I thought the Denobulans didn't like physical contact? Phlox VOs, "I've decided to enlist crewman [Scrunchie's] help in my task." "So what are the Menks like?" Scrunchie asks Phlox, as he passes her some supplies aboard Enterprise. Phlox tells her she'll have the opportunity to observe them herself. Scrunchie gasps with delight and Phlox continues, saying, "You're a trained exo-biologist. I'd find your assistance in the field invaluable." "Thank you, Doctor," Scrunchie says coyly. Phlox VOs, "On a personal note, the affection Ensign Cutler is showing has left me a bit perplexed, so I've decided to discuss it with the one person on board who might understand the complexities of the situation." No, it's not Trip; Phlox said the person would understand "complexities."
Sick bay. T'Pol, lying on an examining table, tells Phlox, "That's impossible." Phlox tells her it's nothing to ashamed of. "My teeth were sealed with a tri-fluorinate compound twenty-three years ago," T'Pol informs him. Guess all that human food is bound to rot Vulcan molars. Phlox tells her that nonetheless, some decay has started. "See for yourself," he says, pointing at a computerized X-ray above T'Pol's head. She looks and glares. "I'm sure you have more pressing concerns, I'll come back later," T'Pol says, and makes to bolt sick bay. Phlox stuffs and nonsenses her excuse and tells her he can fix it right then and there. T'Pol resentfully lies back on the examining table and opens her mouth a crack. "Wider, please!" Phlox commands, and T'Pol's jaw drops like a cartoon character's. I think I'll just leave that little display without comment, as long as someone turns off that damn bamp-chicka-wocka-bamp-bamp music. Phlox pauses above T'Pol's unlocked jaw with a dental implement and comments, "You've lived among humans for quite some time now, Sub-Commander, and I'm curious -- have you ever known them to mate outside their species?" T'Pol adopts the "dentist's fingers in mouth" dialect, which is actually quite effectively comical since it's coming from her. "A-ha! There it is!" Phlox crows gleefully, and picks up another instrument. T'Pol asks, "Are you asking out of personal interest or scientific curiosity?" Phlox explains that he's become "close" with a crewman, and he thinks she's "attracted" to him. T'Pol tells him that in her range of experience with humans, "they lack the emotional maturity for inter-species relationships. They tend to be easily infatuated with things they find new. This crewman may simply be satisfying her curiosity at your expense," T'Pol finishes loftily. Phlox looks a bit disconcerted -- maybe even hurt? -- by the idea of Scrunch's interest being no more than a passing fancy. He tells T'Pol to open again and does some more dental work. Phlox VOs, "Sub-Commander T'Pol has a very pragmatic view of the universe. I admire her logic although she lacks the instinctiveness that a more emotional response can provide. Somehow, I find this unsettling." I find that odd, because what with the lack of emotion he seems to display in this episode, I'd think he'd actually relate to T'Pol more than he'd find her "unsettling." Phlox finishes with T'Pol's mouth and says, "There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" T'Pol gets up without a word. "Thanks for your insights," Phlox says. T'Pol turns to him and tells him to be careful. However, she says it weirdly, more like "mmmbe careful." And the inflection has the result of over-dramatizing the situation -- again, something at odds with what it means to be Vulcan.
Phlox pays Quantum a visit in his Ready Room. "You asked to see me, Captain?" Phlox asks. Quantum says the director of the Valakian clinic contacted him to find out if Phlox has made "any progress" in finding a cure. Phlox stays silently troubled. "Doctor?" Quantum prompts him. "I've developed a medication to ease the symptoms of the disease, but --" Phlox pauses. "But?" Quantum prompts again. Phlox explains that the disease isn't being caused by a virus or bacterial infection. "The proteins that bind to their chromosomes are deteriorating. Their illness is genetic. It's been going on for thousands of years, but the rate of mutation has accelerated over the last few generations," Phlox says, and then predicts that the Valakians will go the way of the dodo in a few hundred years. Quantum looks stunned. "I wish I had better news," Phlox says, gravely. "What about a cure?" Quantum asks, standing up. Phlox tells him that "genetic abnormalities on this level are very hard to cure." Quantum seizes on the "very hard" and says, "But not impossible." Phlox amends, "No, I still believe the Menk community could be the key to a cure. I plan to study them in more detail." Quantum orders him to "take all the time [he] need[s]." Phlox doesn't look happy, but nods and leaves. Quantum takes the combined woes of the universe over to his window, and they all stare out at the stars.
Phlox VOs that he never thought he'd be exploring other worlds as a doctor, and now he finds himself in the "enviable" position of being able to study two types of humanoids from the same planet. Phlox visits the Menk community to run some tests, in an attempt to discover why they are immune to the genetic disease that is killing off their feudal lords. Since she seems to have calibrated her portable UT enough to speak and understand the Menk language, Hoshi is brought along as translator. However, for some reason, Menkenese is never translated for us as the Valakian language was. Just another UT anomaly that the writers ultimately decided to leave as an unresolved inconsistency. Through Larr, her Orderly Menk friend, Hoshi manages to relay to the other Menks that Phlox will need blood samples from them, but the process will be completely painless. There's some jibber-jabber, and Hoshi tells Phlox that all the Menks would be "happy to help." Phlox VOs that he's more fascinated by the coexistence between the Menks and the Valakians than by their biological differences. "The Valakians are highly evolved, technologically advanced, while the Menk are relatively primitive by comparison," Phlox VOs, "but to my surprise the two seem to be living side-by-side, peacefully." The Menks line up to be scanned and tested. As Phlox runs a blue-light special over his chest, a Menk asks him what he's doing. "Have you learned enough Menk to explain a molecular bio-scan?" Phlox asks, after Hoshi translates for the Menk. Hoshi says something in Menk which seems to satisfy the curious one. Ensign Scrunch asks Hoshi what she said. "I told him the doctor was looking inside him," Hoshi tells her. "Thank you," Scrunch says to the Menk when they are done. "Tik-tik," Hoshi translates. The Menk says something probably along the lines of "you're welcome," and leaves.
Larr arrives with a tray and says something in Menkenese which ends with "food." Hoshi is surprised to hear him use English. Apparently, Hoshi has not been teaching him English, which means he must've picked it up just by listening to them. "Perhaps we have found an assistant com officer," Phlox says. The Menk looks at them and says, "No food?" Hoshi says, "Tik-tik," as she, Phlox, and Scrunch partake of the Menk offering. Phlox comments, "I haven't seen any crops or livestock, I wonder where they get this." Hoshi asks Larr where the food comes from. Apparently, the Menk community's soil isn't good for planting because the Valakians don't let them live where the ground is fertile. However, the Valakians supply them with whatever they need: food, clothing, medicine. Larr says one more thing, which Hoshi translates: "He says the Valakians are good to them. They protect them." So, the Valakians are seeing to it that the Menk never evolve, by handicapping their way of life in order to ensure that they remain serfs, wholly dependent on the Valakian fiefdom. Phlox, Scrunch, and Hoshi continue with their bio-scans of the Menk, and Phlox VOs, "Despite the Menk's insistence that they're treated well, my human crewmates seem to see things differently. They think the Menk are being exploited by the Valakians, so their first instinct is to rise to their defense despite the fact that the Menk don't appear to need or want a defender." One of the Menks marks some tubes containing blood samples with colored chalk, and rearranges the tray. Phlox tries to stop him before realizing that he organized the samples together by family. Phlox is impressed, saying, "Cross-referenced by bloodlines and marriage, if I'm interpreting the color codes correctly." Phlox thanks the Menk in Menkenese, and VOs his surprise at how advanced he finds the Menk to be, considering what the Valakians led them to believe. After they've finished gathering the Menk data, Scrunch comments, "It feels like a vacation, if I didn't keep remembering why we were here." Hoshi says she's going to help Larr finish packing their stuff. "He's back on duty at the hospital in an hour," she says, and leaves Scrunch and Phlox alone.
Scrunch questions Phlox on why the Menk situation doesn't bother Phlox. "Why should it?" Phlox shrugs. "On most worlds with two humanoid species, one would have driven the other to extinction. Here, they've developed a symbiotic relationship that seems to work quite well." Scrunch argues, "They force the Menk to live in compounds, they treat them almost like pets." Phlox explains that they have a different culture, "it's their way." Scrunch humphs, "That doesn't make it right." Apropos of nothing, Phlox asks Scrunch if she's married. "Of course not, I would have told you," she laughs. Phlox tells her that he's married himself and has three current wives, each of whom have two husbands other than him. And they told two people, and so on and so on and so on. Remember that commercial? So mathematically speaking, that means the whole Denobulan race could be married to each other? That would be one highly nonplanar bipartite graph. Scrunch asks if that's usual for Denobulans. "Quite," Phlox responds, and Scrunch asks why he's telling her this. Phlox tells her he's "been getting certain signals" from her that make him think she's looking for a little romance, given half a chance. The lady in red, is dancing with me, cheek to cheek. And it's awkward, oh, it's awkward, as Scrunch says, "Oh," to Phlox. Phlox says, "Unless I misinterpreted those signals." "You didn't," Scrunch says, squinching her eyes even more, if that's possible, "but I still don't know why you're telling me this." Phlox tells her she needs to understand the differences between their cultures, but Scrunch tells him it "doesn't matter." Phlox is surprised by this: "This culture's different, that seems to matter to you a great deal." Scrunch tells him she has no interest in "becoming wife number four" because she just wants to be his friend. Yeah, his naked friend. Phlox asks her how she defines "friend." "Let's just see where it goes," Scrunch suggests, then smiles and walks away.
Quantum visits Bumpy's oxygen tank in the ward. Bumpy takes off his green iMac mask and tells him he's glad he could come. "It was no problem," Quantum says. "How are you feeling?" Bumpy says the medication Phlox produced helps with the pain, but he still has a huge helping of prognosis negative -- much like Bette Davis did in Dark Victory. Quantum says he has a lot of faith that their Denobulan doctor will find a cure. Bumpy launches into his real reason for summoning Quantum to his deathbed. He thanks the captain of the Good Ship Lollipop for getting him home before it was "too late. It took us a year to get where we were and you got us home in a day," Bumpy says. Quantum says humans "started out" in ships very much like theirs, and "someday [the Valakians] will be traveling in ships." Well, guess what? Bumpy doesn't want to wait for "someday" -- he wants that technology here, and he wants it now. "If your doctor can't help us, we need to keep searching for others that can," Bumpy says. "We need warp drive. A million more of us will die before our ship leaves this system. With warp engines we won't have to wait for people to find us. We can seek help on our own." Quantum tells him that they might run into lots of big meanies out in space. Bumpy says they must do it or die trying. Quantum is commed by the doctor, who informs him they have all their samples. Quantum comms back that he'll meet them at the shuttle pod. He pats Bumpy on the shoulder and leaves without another word.
Bridge. Quantum enters and asks T'Pol if she's got any news. "We've received twenty-nine hails in the past two hours," T'Pol says. Quantum asks who could be calling them at this hour, and T'Pol tells them it's all hospitals who want their help. "Two orbital spacecrafts approached us while you were on the planet. They mistakenly believed that we already had a cure, we had to turn them away," T'Pol finishes. What kind of PR does this "advanced" species have if they can't control the information they let out? It's like a planet of FOX News reports. Quantum asks to speak with T'Pol in confidence. They adjourn to his Ready Room, where the Captain prepares to snack on a piece of humble cheesecake. He explains that the Valakians want warp drive technology from them. "What did you tell them?" T'Pol asks. Quantum says, "That I'd think about it." "And?" Quantum says he knows where she stands on the matter. "Even if you give them our reactor schematics, they don't have the technical expertise to build a warp engine," T'Pol says. Quantum comments, "They don't have any experience working with anti-matter. I doubt they realize how dangerous it is." He shakes his head and turns to his sub-commander, saying, "They're not ready." T'Pol says he just made his decision a whole lot easier. "We could stay and help them," Quantum says. T'Pol reminds him that the Vulcans stayed on Earth to help the humans ninety years ago. "We're still there," she finishes. Touché, T'Pol. Quantum puts his face full in his humble cheesecake and says, "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm beginning to understand how the Vulcans must have felt." The heavens open up and seraphim sing as the holy light beams down on Enterprise.
Sick bay. Phlox examines some more DNA strands and looks mightily troubled by what he sees. I have a feeling the Valakian end is nigh.
Heh. The Sprint guy was on West Wing last week. He'll never have a real career now -- commercial actors are supposed to be forgettable, but even Deborah's posters are calling him "Congressman Sprint."
Mess hall. Phlox enters and spies Quantum togged out in a white Hanes Beefy Tee. Boy, he’s really giving us the sartorial works this episode. "Trouble sleeping, Captain?" Phlox asks. Quantum comments he's not the only one, to which the good doctor replies, "Actually, Denobulans require very little rest unless you count our annual hibernation cycle." "Am I going to be without my doctor this winter?" Quantum asks. "Only for six days," Phlox tells him. Cool. I really hope they do an episode surrounding that period. It could be very interesting and ORIGINAL. Quantum chuckles that he might have to join him, and you want to know something weird? I'm not hating Bakula in this scene yet. Usually, he opens his mouth and I reach for a Post Road life-preserver, but he's actually being genuine and less of a pompous chucklehead than usual. Phlox grabs a plate of something from the refrigerated section, and Quantum asks, "Any progress?" Phlox pauses and looks very disturbed. "The research has been challenging, to say the least," he says. "A cure, Doctor, have you found a cure?" Quantum asks, and I'm back to hating him again. Phlox says, carefully, "Even if I could find one, I'm not sure it would be ethical." "Ethical?" Quantum queries, clearly needing a Merriam-Webster for that concept. Phlox states they'd be messing around with a process of evolution that has been taking place for thousands of years. Quantum slaps his thigh and gets up, saying, "Every time you treat an illness, you're interfering. That's what doctors do." It's only Episode Thirteen and they're already resorting to a tight-white-t-shirt-wearing macho-ism that Kirk didn't need until Star Trek V (and that Picard didn't ever need -- the nakedness in "Chain of Command" notwithstanding). "At least it's not a wife-beater," Mathra comments. And granted, Bakula looks to be in much better shape than Shatner ever was -- even in TOS's earliest days.
Phlox tells His Studliness that he's forgetting about the Menk. "What about the Menk?" Quantum asks, as he saunters to refill his glass of iced tea. You know, his poses are almost identical to Blalock's, and it's making me think this scene is all about showing off Bakula's body. Tight pants, tight white t-shirt, poses being struck…well, at the very least, we can say they're egalitarian in their exploitation. "I've been studying their genome as well and I've seen evidence of increasing intelligence -- motor skills, linguistic abilities -- unlike the Valakians, they seem to be in the process of an evolutionary awakening. It may take millennia, but the Menk have the potential to become the dominant species on this planet," Phlox says. Quantum supposes that the Menk will not become the dominant species if the Valakians are still around. Phlox tells him that the Menk need to be able to live on their own in order to flourish as a species. Quantum asks, "Now, just what are you suggesting? We choose one species over the other?" I don't think it's Enterprise's choice to make. Mother Nature has clearly already laid bets on her favorites; these humans have absolutely no power in this matter. Phlox elucidates my rantings much better by saying, "All I'm saying is that we let Nature make the choice." "The hell with Nature! You're a doctor. You have a moral obligation to help people who are suffering," Quantum insists. First of all, "the hell with Nature"? You are a putz, aren't you? And second of all, "moral obligation"? I don't believe we've heard anything about a Denobulan equivalent to the Hippocratic oath, so let's not throw the word "morals" around. Phlox tells Quantum that, as a scientist, he has to consider "the larger issues." Phlox continues, "Thirty-five thousand years ago, your species co-existed with other humanoids, is that correct?" Quantum closes his slacking jaw and says, "Go ahead." "What if an alien race had interfered, and given the Neanderthals an evolutionary advantage?" Phlox asks, pronouncing "Neanderthals" like "Neander-dolls. "Fortunately for you, they didn't," Phlox finishes. "I appreciate your perspective on all of this," Quantum says, "but I am living proof that a few Neanderthals squeezed through." Come to think of it, I could have been distracted by his hulking brow; what he really said was: "But we're talking about something that might happen. Might happen, thousands of years from now. They've asked for our help. I am not prepared to walk away based on a theory." Phlox gets frustrated and tells Quantum that evolution is "more than a theory, it's a scientific principle!" Phlox kicks all variants of butt in this scene. "Forgive me for saying so," he continues, "but I believe your compassion for these people is affecting your judgment." "My compassion guides my judgment!" Quantum thunders. He asks the doctor if he can find a cure. Phlox is silent. "Doctor?" he prompts him. Phlox tells him he's already found a cure. Quantum goes to pose by the window. Phlox VOs that when they found the alien vessel, he had no idea he'd be immersed in such a conflict with his captain.
Sick bay. Phlox VOs that Quantum is his captain and that Quantum has placed a "great deal of trust in [him]," so he thinks he owes Quantum the same. "I only hope he's willing to look beyond his sympathy for these poor people," Phlox's VO finishes as he fiddles with medical tubes. Quantum walks into sick bay, fully dressed this time, and says, "Doctor." Phlox squares his shoulders and says, "Captain." It's just like an old Western standoff at high noon outside the O.K. Corral. Quantum tells Phlox that he's on his way down to the Valakian hospital, and Phlox interrupts him to say, "It would go against all my principles if I didn't ask you to reconsider." Quantum tells him he spent the whole night reconsidering. "And what I've decided goes against all my principles," he says. Phlox gives him a steady look. "Someday, my people are going to come up with some sort of a doctrine -- something that tells us what we can and can't do out here, should and shouldn't do. But until someone tells me that they've drafted that directive [we are now entering Anvil City, population: two humans and two cats. I cannot believe he actually said it!] I'm going to have to remind myself every day that we didn't come out here to play God." Ship's Log, Stardate October 12, 2151: At 0700, Captain Quantum looks in the mirror and chants, "You're not God. You may have pecs and tight buns, but you're not God." Phlox's audio letter to Dr. Lucas continues with him telling him that he'd like to hope that if Dr. Lucas had been with him, he'd never have let Phlox even consider withholding his findings from Quantum, "but I'm ashamed to say that I almost did just that."
We snap back to the Valakian city scene, which Mathra and I analyzed and decided looked like a bunch of Citicorp Towers, a Transamerica Pyramid, and air filters from Niles Crane's office, all slapped together. At the hospital, Quantum tells the Valakian director that Phlox generated a serum that will relieve the disease's symptoms for a decade, maybe even longer. "A lot can happen in that time. I wouldn't even be surprised if you developed a cure on your own," Quantum says, back to his stiff-necked, John Wayne-y acting. "And if we don't?" the Valakian director asks. "With a warp-capable starship, our chances would be greatly improved." Quantum looks down at his feet, but meets the Valakian's eye to say, "I'm sorry." The Valakian's shoulders slump in defeat. Quantum hands over an e-pad, saying, "This will give you detailed instructions on how to synthesize more of the medicine." "We appreciate everything you've done," the Valakian says. Quantum squares his jaw and nods. Phlox VOs, "If I hadn't trusted him to make the right choice, I'd have been no better than the Vulcan diplomats who held your species back because they felt you couldn't make proper decisions on your own." Again with the slamming of the Vulcans? Can we please stop that now? This is the sole episode where Quantum -- as the representative of the human race -- has shown that he can make the "right" decision, and he only did that when Phlox argued with him. A lot.
Sick bay. Phlox sits on his desk and VOs that he came close to misjudging Cpt. Quantum. "But this incident has helped me gain a new respect for him. Happiness and health to you, Doctor. Your dedicated colleague, Phlox." Phlox pulls out the yellow translucent plastic disk from the computer just as Hoshi enters sick bay. "You wanted to see me?" she asks. "Please," Phlox says, handing over the disk. "For Doctor Lucas." "It'll go out first thing in the morning," Hoshi tells him. Phlox nods silently, and Hoshi asks him if he's okay. "Fine. Fine," he answers her. "The past few days have been taxing." "Want my advice?" Hoshi asks. "Get out of sick bay." Phlox agrees with her, and Hoshi leaves. Phlox goes over to a com panel and pushes a button. "Phlox to Crewman Cutler." "Go ahead," Scrunch's voice says. "I know it's short notice, but I was wondering if you'd like to join me for a little snack in the mess hall," Phlox says, "I could use a, uh, friend right about now." "Ten minutes?" Scrunch asks. "Thank you," Phlox says, and hits the button again. "Sweet dreams," he calls out to the rustling cages, then turns out the light and leaves sick bay.
week, Reed and T'Pol both show signs of looking anorexic, and Lursa and B'Etor's great-great grandmother meets the crew of Enterprise. Oh, and there's apparently going to be a DeCon scene involving T'Pol, Reed, and Hoshi. I think I'm going to stay far away from the forums week if the first DeCon scene was any indication what sort of hysteria I'm in for.