Changes

Ed and Mike are leaving the coffee shop, and Ed's still going off on running into Dennis in the coffee shop. As I stated, Dennis gave Ed the left-handed shake, which is usually reserved for invalids and coma patients. Ed admits that Dennis just exudes cool, and wonders why they can't be as cool as the school principal. Mike asks to not be roped into this subject because Mike is, in fact, cool. Ed takes a look at him and says ,"Cool guys don't wear Dockers." Mike responds, "Dockers kick ass." Y'know...as if my day hasn't been going bad enough, now I hear that my slacks of choice are not cool. I've been wearing Dockers for twenty years and I had to find out from a freakin' TV show that I'm about as cool as getting a hummer from Grandma at a science fair.

At the bowling alley, Molly and Shirley are sitting in a booth going over the surprise party that Molly's throwing herself for her birthday. Note to producers: We get the picture. Molly is one lonely woman. But throwing a surprise party for yourself goes beyond lonely...that's pitiful and pathetic. Ed walks up, and Shirley informs Ed about the party. Ed says that's how it's been for years; Molly's always thrown her own birthday parties. Shirley is disgusted, and says she can't be a part of this. I'm right there with ya, sista. This year, Molly wants a moon walk. Ed asks why. Molly's reasoning makes about as much sense as joining the Taliban these days. Apparently, Molly wanted to be an astronaut when she was younger, but instead she ended up a wisecracking sidekick to an aging prom queen. On the other hand, Neil Armstrong walked on the moon at age thirty-two. Since Molly's turning thirty-two, it's only appropriate that she take a symbolic walk on the moon. Ed mentions that it'll be fun when they get drunk. Molly agrees, and they tweak each other's nipples in excitement for an abnormally long amount of time. As she and Ed giggle like schoolkids, a handsome traveling bowling-paraphernalia salesman strolls in. Jim's the name, and flirting with Molly is apparently his game. He's brought Ed some bowling pins that have celebrities faces painted on them. He demonstrates one that Ed mistakes for Beau Bridges when it's actually Jeff Bridges. The entire time, Molly is making goo-goo eyes at Jim like somebody slipped some Crazy Glue into her Visine.

In his office, Mike is administering a checkup to a woman when he goes to reach for a tongue depressor. Here's the catch: there are no tongue depressors! So Mike knocks on Dr. Jerome's door and asks if he can nab a couple of tongue depressors, since he's out. Dr. Jerome tells him no problem...he can borrow as many as he needs because Dr. Jerome never runs out. When he starts running low, he tells Wendy to order more, and she does. That's how it works around the office. Dr. Jerome then notices a small spot on Mike's tie, and offers Mike his own tie. Mike declines, but Dr. Jerome won't hear of it; he loosens his tie and tosses it to Mike. He then offers him his car and his house keys, and reminds Mike that his wife's name is Rhonda and his dog is Spartacus. Mike is about ready to blow when he excuses himself from the room before he Hulks out and slams Jerome's bony ass up against the wall and pummels him with his beefy fists.

Back at the alley, Kenny and Phil are watching magician David Blaine on television, as he does some magic trick on a street. Kenny says it's about time magic was brought back to the streets. Phil can't believe that this is the same David Blaine who bags supermodels and tickled Madonna's ovaries with his magic wand o' love. Phil calls Blaine a hack. Kenny says that Phil's just jealous because he didn't get the host job on Outragiacs!. Phil reminds Kenny that the show wanted him, but he passed. A man walks in needing to see the bowling-alley lawyer. That would be Ed, in case anyone has already forgotten. Phil and Kenny continue watching Blaine as he levitates on the street, freaking some ladies out. Phil says that anybody can do that, which sets up Phil's wacky scam of the week.

Ed welcomes a disheveled George McPherson into his office. Shirley asks whether either of them would like an imported Mexican soda she ordered off of the internet. George declines. She then asks Eduardo in fluent Spanish. Eduardo declines her tantalizing treats. George has come to Ed to change his name. Ed asks what he wants to change it to and George says, "Richard Benjamin." Ed reminds George that there's already a famous actor by the name of Richard Benjamin. George then just pulls Richard -- no, RICK...Van Stratten out of the air. Rick Van Stratten sounds like a good guy. Ed asks why George wants to change his name. George says that he spends each day in the corporate office of a grocery store chain and drinks himself to sleep each night. That may be good enough for George McPherson, but it's not enough for Rick Van Stratten. He's leaving George McPherson behind and starting a new life for himself.

Ed, Carol, and Molly are having lunch; the two ladies are making fun of George/Rick. Ed admits that he's kind of impressed with what George is doing. The ladies think it's weird. In a very sloppy fashion, Molly steers the subject to Ed's bowling paraphernalia salesman, Jim. Ed says, "Ha Ha! I KNEW it!" He then tells Carol that this guy is the perfect man for Molls. Carol's impressed. They have more chemistry than...well, he can't think of any famous chemists. He asks Molly for the name of a chemist, and Molly makes him promise that if she gives him a chemist's name, he will stop the teasing. He promises. She says Antoine LeVoisier or some obscure French chemist who was probably one of the show's writers and not a famous chemist. Ed finishes his analogy and then says, "You should go out with him," which makes Molly hit Ed and act like she's twelve. She hit him hard. The kind where the average man would forget that Molly was a woman and haul off and give her an atomic noogie.