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It's the day before Halloween, which means Eastwick is having another festival! This one involves coffins full of (metaphorical) demons, which will all go up in a giant festive bonfire. This is good fun for everyone, except for Joanna, who gets kidnapped by Pastor Dunn and put inside one of the coffins. Luckily, Kat causes a giant rainstorm just in time, and that means that Joanna forgives her for kissing Will.
Meanwhile, Bun turns out to have psychic powers, which surprises no one. And Penny is still a little ticked off about Kat hanging out with her new friends; and Josh is mad at Mia for being mean; and Will now wants to make out with Joanna, not Kat. I think that's most of the interpersonal stuff.
Oh! And after preventing a couple of possible deaths, it turns out that Roxie's funeral vision had to do with Chad dying when Darryl's statue falls on him at the end of this episode. So Chad's dead, I guess.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Yet another festival? Geez, Eastwick has a lot of festivals. This one is Halloween-related. Remember that: this show is set the day before Halloween. It doesn't really come up, but I wanted to make sure you remembered it anyway. Roxie is giving a tour of Witch's Field, which is where 158 witches were burned to death in the Eastwick Witch Trials. This city sure celebrates its horrific past, doesn't it? Roxie's improvising the tour, because Bun is still a bit amnesiac. And she's coming along on the tour anyway, which is weird. I guess the idea is that exposing her to aspects of her life will help her remember it. Roxie directs everyone's attention to the festively decorated caskets, which apparently contain metaphorical demons to be burned up.
Darryl shows up as his minions bring in a coffin for the pyre. He and Roxie trade some vague sexual innuendo, and Bun kind of freaks out. She's scared, but she doesn't know why. Then Roxie hustles everyone back to the tour bus. But before they get there, Roxie gets another vision of herself and Mia at the funeral she saw last episode. Everyone thinks she's crazy. Except Bun, who calls the tourists ninnies and says "Can't you see that she's just been to a funeral?!"
Joanna is on her couch, eating ice cream from the carton and watching television. Sweet. She's mopey about losing her job and apparently feels bad about running Pastor Dunn out of town. "So, big whoop, he likes whores!" is her new attitude, as she explains to Kat, who's staying there too. She also feels bad about making Will hate her. Kat thinks if Joanna just apologizes to Will, everything will be fine. Say, whatever happened to those magic Hypno-eyes? Kat promises that Will will come around, and Roxie (who showed up at some point during this paragraph) adds "If he doesn't, I'll kick him in the taint!" Lovely. Joanna reluctantly agrees to give it a try.
Penny has a scene! She's trying to psyche herself up for waxing her armpits. She's interrupted by her secret Darryl Van Horne source, Jamie, the British guy who lives above Roxie's shop. She blames him for getting Joanna fired, because of all that false information she printed. Penny tells Jamie she will no longer be having sex with him (did that happen in the episode I missed, or is it new? Note to self: watch that episode, or at least find a site that has recaps -- hang on, I think I just had a brilliant idea). Penny rips out her wax paper.
Roxie and Bun are in Roxie's kitchen. Bun is willing to admit that she might possibly have read Roxie mind, and maybe she might have psychic powers. But she isn't willing to admit that she's always had them, since she can't remember more than a few weeks back. After being pressed on the details Bun says the funeral was for "your friend, because of the statue," and Roxie rushes out.
Joanna sneaks into the Gazette to say hello to Penny and try to win Will's heart. Will doesn't seem that surprised to see her, nor does he seem particularly interested. As she starts stammering out her speech, he interrupts her to tell her he forgives her. But he will not be giving her another chance, because he's moved on. (Penny: "Aw, snap!") Will evades the question a bit, so Joanna uses the Hypno-eyes to make him tell her who the Other Woman is. He admits that it's only a hope, and that it's her friend Kat. He leaves, and Penny gloats a little: "See? I told you not to trust those crazy bitches." She backs off a bit after Joanna glares at her.
Darryl poses before his giant statue (it looks nice!) while Fidel, his enormous mute butler (he's mute, you know!) and a tiny minion I don't recognize take his picture with one of those old-timey cameras that involves the photographer standing under a black cloth and holding up a tray covered in flash powder. Roxie rushes in and shoves Darryl out of the way just before the statue falls, which would presumably have crushed him. Roxie is very excited to have possibly altered the course of fate. Darryl is just pleased that Roxie's straddling him during all this. Fidel calls over Darryl (mutely) to draw his attention to a broken bolt. It seems that Chad bolted the statue down incorrectly, so Darryl fires him angrily. Then he considers moving the statue to the Eastwick Inn.
At the hospital, Joanna confronts Kat in the middle of folding sheets. Joanna is angry that Kat knew Will had a thing for her, and Kat accidentally admits that she kissed him. Joanna is convinced that Kat insists that she didn't think Will would reject Joanna and that she has zero feelings for Will. This whole time, Mrs. Greenberg (an old lady in the bed) is interjecting things, and Kat tells her to butt out or lose her Jell-O privileges. Kat tells Joanna that the last thing she wanted to do was hurt her, and Joanna stalks out.
Mia enters Josh's room and apologizes for that scene last episode where she said she didn't want to be seen with him. He doesn't accept her apology, because this is the kind of show where people don't accept apologies. He is able to interrupt his XBOX game long enough to ask what she's doing for Halloween. He suggests they put on costumes and go trick-or-treating, which she treats like the dumbest, most stupid suggestion ever.
Will interrupts Kat at the hospital, and she's probably getting annoyed at all these people getting in the way of her work. Lady's got a job, people! She gets mad at him for telling Joanna about them, and also claims to follow the rule of "chicks before sticks". She emphasizes that she cares more about Joanna than him, and Will ignores this. Will asks what would happen if there were no Joanna, and she points out that she's still a married woman. She insists that she's not interested, and he doesn't look like he buys it.
Joanna is lying on the couch snacking again. After all that walking around, she's regressed to the state of complete immobility on the couch. She can't reach the remote control, and then it magically moves toward her hand. Just then, there's a knock at the door. Personally, if I had just discovered telekinetic powers, I would be more interested in that than in answering the door, but Joanna gets up and opens it. It's Pastor Dunn! He clamps a rag over Joanna's mouth and nose, and she passes out. Do kidnappers normally knock?
Exciting music plays as Pastor Dunn's van zooms down the road with Joanna tied up in the back. Pastor Dunn speaks in vague terms about his plans for her, but he does mention that he's going to take vengeance on her and release her from her spirit. That doesn't sound too good. She gets him to look into her eyes, although I'm not sure using the rear-view mirror counts. She Hypno-tells him to do what she says, but it turns out that priests have some sort of anti-witch field. He shakes off the suggestion and continues down the road. Man, what a ripoff. You'd think having Hypno-eyes would be really helpful, but they only work about 50% of the time. It's like the Jedi mind trick. Say! Do you think Pastor Dunn is a Toydarian?
Kat goes to the Gazette offices to talk to Penny. Penny's first words are "backstabbing slutbag", so it's going to be a tricky conversation. Penny emphasizes that she's Joanna's best friend. Not Kat. Penny is Joanna's best friend. Kat needs Penny to call Joanna, because she's not answering Kat's calls. Kat leaves, saying "Something is wrong. I can feel it." Penny goes with her.
Roxie shows off Bun's stereotypical witch costume, and Bun asks if she really used to wear that stuff and, if so, she was stupid. Roxie laughs this off, because she's still in a good mood about saving Darryl's life. Because there's no way the statue could have killed someone else. Mia comes in to complain that talking to Josh was a terrible idea. Then Chad comes in to yell at Roxie about not doing anything when Darryl fired him. Chad is also sick of listening to Roxie and Darryl banter all day. He stomps out without even answering her question about whether he'll be picking her up for the bonfire.
Kat and Penny arrive at Joanna's place. She's missing and they're worried. Penny calls the police. She's got a good eye for detail, since she can tell that the ice cream has been melting for one or two hours. Unfortunately, Joanna has not been missing for 24 hours. Kat says to tell the police that she has been missing 24 hours, which you'll have to admit is logical thinking. Unfortunately, Penny already told them about the ice cream. So the cops will not be participating. Kat finds Joanna's keys in her purse and says they should go get Roxie. Penny thinks even less of Roxie than she does of Kat, so she goes off to find Joanna on her own.
Joanna is now tied to something in a garage as she watches Pastor Dunn perform woodwork. He's drilling some wood, which you're welcome to interpret as some sort of Freudian symbol. Joanna sees something that looks like a giant chisel and uses her new Jedi powers to bring it closer to her. As Dunn continues his drilling, she quickly chisels the ropes and tiptoes ... farther into the garage. Dunn sees her! She hits him in the face with a chain! Then he throws her against a pillar and she slumps to the ground unconscious. That was productive.
Bun is dressed in her stereotypical witch outfit and musing about maybe started a new, cool life. Kat rushes in, recaps the Joanna situation, and demands that Roxie go into a trance and find Joanna. Right now! But that's not how Roxie's visions work. Kat panics about kissing Will while Bun looks through Joanna's purse. She drops the keys, because they feel like they're on fire. Fire! Roxie and Kat jump to the conclusion that the bonfire will be involved and rush out, leaving Bun to do whatever NPCs do when the player characters are busy.
Penny is performing actual police-type work, walking down the street and showing Joanna's picture to people to see if they've seen her. They have not. She runs across Jamie and sits down to him in an empty cafe. Penny admits that she should have checked the facts more carefully, since she's the fact-checker. Oh! So that's what Penny does! Anyway, Penny leaves on her quest, on slightly better terms with Jamie.
Bun wakes up in Roxie's place. And Darryl is watching her. Gah! She tells him that he shouldn't be here, and he tries to make her define "here". In Eastwick? In the house? He accuses her of having her memory and leans in to strangle Bun. But just then! Enter Mia, dressed as Raggedy Ann. She asks Darryl how he got in, and he makes up an excuse and leaves. Bun leaves with Mia.
Joanna is inside a coffin! And there are a lot of holes drilled in the top, so at least she can breathe. Her mouth is duct-taped shut, but not very well. She screams, and we zoom out to show that her coffin is on top of the bonfire, which has already started. I wonder how Pastor Dunn got his coffin onto the pile without anyone noticing. Anyway: peril!
The bonfire is surrounded by a giant party and the song "Disco Inferno". You know, the one that goes "Burn, baby, burn"? Subtle! So no one can hear Joanna's screams. Mia and Bun walk through the crowd and Josh shows up. He's shocked to see Mia in a costume, and she assures him that she'd even go trick-or-treating if it would make him forgive her. They kiss.
The fire continues. Say, where the hell are Roxie and Kat? They left before Bun even fell asleep, and it was daytime then. Oh! Here they are now, already giving up on finding Joanna in the crowd. But they see Pastor Dunn, suspiciously glaring at the bonfire. He ignores them as they ask if he's seen Joanna, and he says they're too late. Only he says it ominously, like "You're TOO LATE." Then Roxie decides that the friend-with-statue that Bun meant must be Joanna because there's a statue nearby. Roxie realizes that Joanna must be in one of the coffins! Kat wants to climb the burning pyre, but Roxie stops her. Roxie goes off to stop the fire (...somehow) and wants Kat to talk to the Sheriff. Kat agrees, but then walks toward the bonfire with a determined look.
Jamie is alone in his room, because he never comes down for the festivals. He looks through an old book and puts a talisman of some sort in an envelope.
Roxie finds some firemen, but they don't seem to want to put out the fire. They assure her it's safe, and then there's some comedy where they can't understand her because the music's so loud. So she says "My friend's in the fire!" but they hear "I have a flat tire." That sort of thing. It's a classic!
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Kat runs to the pile of burning coffins. She's about half way up when Will stops her. He, of course, will not listen to her screams and pulls her down to the ground. Kat shouts and screams and then turns into a commercial for the 11:00 news. Oh, hang on. I think I need to fast-forward. Ah! Here we go. Kat is screaming and the flames are rising higher, and the statue at the top of the bonfire catches fire, and Kat is crying. Then it starts raining very hard immediately above the bonfire. She should really learn to control that. Roxie and Kat look delighted, but I'd think Joanna's coffin would still be pretty hot and smoke-filled. The rain stops and Will climbs up and opens up Joanna's coffin. She's fine.
Slightly later, Joanna does not want to go to the hospital even though Bun assures her they have pretty good brownies on Tuesdays. Kat, Roxie, and Will all insist that she go. Joanna awkwardly thanks Will, and he tells her that Kat walked through fire to get to her. Mia goes off with Josh, because this is all boring adult stuff. It occurs to Roxie that she hasn't seen Chad. Josh hasn't either. Roxie reports that the Sheriff is definitely on the lookout for Pastor Dunn. Everyone leaves Kat and Joanna alone.
Kat apologizes for the fight. Joanna apologizes too, but now that Kat's saved her damn life, she's willing to forgive her. Also, she admits that she doesn't even really know Will. And Kat is her real friend. She runs through a number of food-related metaphors and they hug. Joanna apologizes for calling Kat a "copper-headed biatch". Joanna reflects that she got lucky that it started raining when it did and Kat agrees with her.
Penny comes home to find Jamie lurking outside her apartment. Jamie gives her the news about Joanna being found. She asks why Jamie's being so nice to her while she's being such a jerk, and he says that A) he finds her accent hot, and B) he needs help taking down Darryl Van Horne, who is evil. How does he know Darryl's evil? "Because he killed my mother."
Darryl's limo rolls up to the remnants of the bonfire party. Darryl is inside it. Roxie tells him he's five hours late, and Darryl cheerfully explains that he was busy installing his statue at the Eastwick Inn. Also, he wanted to make a grand entrance. He spooks Bun, who runs away. Roxie says that she's had a bad night and they embrace. Just then! Chad walks by, drinking a beer. He fumes. Roxie promises to call Darryl later and goes off to get Bun home. As Roxie gets into the car with Bun, she asks "Is it just me, or was this the longest day ever?" I was going to mention that: this whole episode took place on one day! She talks for awhile about how she wants to get a better handle on her psychic visions so that she can change the future more often, and Bun stops her. "You can't change the future! There are things which have been set in motion which cannot be undone. We can't change destiny no matter how hard we try." Roxie absorbs the fact that someone is going to die after all, and we see Chad walk up to the statue of Darryl at the Eastwick Inn. He attacks the legs with a crowbar, then walks away. It falls on him and kills him. Good one, dummy.
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