By Montykins
Chad holds up a card (the three of clubs, for all you Penn & Teller fans out there) while Roxie tries to guess it. She doesn't do well. But at just that moment, Mia and her frizzy-haired beau walk out of the school. Oh, wait. I put in that "just at that moment" part assuming something coincidental was going to happen, but it doesn't. This is just a different scene. Mia's friends come up and the guy splits. I learn that his name is Josh Burton. Back to Roxie's! Say, the moon does, in fact, look giant. Anyway, Roxie is stressing out about being a lousy mother. And also, where's Mia, who's supposed to be grounded? Roxie sees the giant moon and picks up the phone. It's Mia, who hangs up when Roxie tells her to come home. As Roxie's about to leave, she guesses the top seven cards of the deck in a row. Nice job!
Joanna and Penny! Joanna made that call at some point, and Dominic Savage was Darryl's right-hand-man in New York. Darryl committed insider trading! And ... wrongdoing! But he doesn't have any evidence and Joanna can't quote him by name. Penny calls Joanna's attention to the giant moon (which presumably only looks triple its normal size, because otherwise the tides would get all screwed up) and Joanna declares that the only solution to their problem ... is to party. Just like in PCU! And House Party! And also House Party 2, I think.
The streets of Eastwick are alive with people having fun and looking at the moon. Kat looks longingly at a red dress in a window. In the Eastwick Gazette offices, a full-scale rager has broken out. Telephones are dangling from the ceiling. That's crazy! Joanna's sitting on a copy machine, both because it's warm and because Penny is handing out the Xeroxes of Joanna's butt. That's a little weird. But no time for that now! Joanna has a plan! The questions are the story! Is Darryl really Sebastian Hart? Is he a corporate criminal? That's terrible journalism, incidentally.
Roxie and Chad roam through the streets while asking people if they've seen Mia. Roxie asks one kid if he's seen Mia. He has not. Roxie has a psychic vision and sadly tells him that he should go home because his mother has just found the pot he stashed in a hollowed-out Biology textbook. Man, that's no time to go home. That's when you least want to be home. Let her calm down a bit first. Roxie tries touching the few people on the street and gets psychic flashes about the location of their keys and the sexuality of their lovers. Things on the street start to get out of control, with people spraypainting unicorns on walls and white-haired grannies making out with young men (which, if it keeps happening, should mean that people stop harassing Roxie about making out with Chad). There's drinking and streaking. Darryl's car stops and he says something to Fidel. I can't make it out because the music is way too loud. It's probably something very meaningful and important, but it's pretty much completely incomprehensible.
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