Previously: Audrey got hired at Liberty Hell, Pacey got a promotion, Dawson moved into Jen's house. Really previously: Joey blew off a dorky guy from her Econ class, and Pacey had a rich blonde chippy of a girlfriend who kept referring to him as a "cute slacker."
Cut to Pacey's boat. He's doing nautical stuff, backed by some anonymous peppy pop music, when the aforementioned blonde chippy comes skipping up the dock. "You vaguely resemble this boy I had the time of my life with last summer," she purrs. Pacey grins, helps her onto the boat, and wraps her in an embrace. "Melanie. Shea. Thompson," he says, holding at arm's length and grinning at her. He had a feeling he'd see her again, he says. "What took you so long?" They sit down on the deck. Melanie shrugs. "I got busy," she says. "Kinda sounds like code for 'you started dating guys more appropriate to your station in life,'" Pacey translates. Melanie halfway grins and agrees, explaining that "it didn't work out." They smile at each other, and Melanie wonders what Pacey's doing out on the boat. "Shouldn't you have a job, or something?" she asks. Pacey proudly informs her that he does, in fact, have a job. "What?" Melanie chortles. "My cute slacker boyfriend went and got himself a job?" Well, I don't think he's technically your boyfriend anymore, and I also think it's rather rude to continually refer to him as a slacker, like, doesn't he get enough of that from his own family, but whatever. Also, while I'm on a minor tangent: Pacey's hair? Looks so much better than it has in the past. Pacey explains all about his job at the restaurant, which impresses Melanie because Liberty Hell is "the hottest restaurant in town." Pacey shrugs, explaining that he had to do something to pay the rent, as her uncle won't let him live on the boat for free forever. Melanie sort of makes a face and says that she's actually got some news about that for him. Her uncle has sold the boat…and bought a new one…and wants Pacey to sail it around with him…to the Greek islands. She grins gleefully. Pacey looks stunned. "Are you kidding?" he asks. She shakes her head and explains that the boat leaves in three days. "Interesting," Pacey says. "Is that all you have to say?" Melanie giggles. Pacey admits that she's just caught him a little off-guard. Melanie looks at him, then shakes her head and says that she has to go. "Before this boat stirs feelings I have neither the time nor the luxury to act on," she explains. They both chuckle, and Pacey reiterates that she just surprised him a bit, what with the whole Sail Around The Greek Islands thing. Melanie nods. "Think about it, Pacey," she says. "It's the real deal." Pacey gives her a chaste kiss and sends her on her way with a thoughtful look.
Credits.
Grams's House Of Horrors. Jen's in the bathroom, carefully applying her make-up. Enter Dawson, still looking rumpled from sleep. "Woman at work. Enter at your own risk," Jen tells him shortly. Someone's crabby before she gets her coffee, apparently. He smooches her and sleepily wonders if she'd like to go out after school, spend a little quality time together. Jen grumbles that she's got a midterm for which she is woefully underprepared and then a shift at the radio station. Dawson nods, and wonders about dinner. She's busy. Dawson sort of eyes her warily, then comments mildly that he had no idea she was "that into make-up." Jen sticks a Q-Tip into her mouth and uses it to smudge her eyeliner, snipping that he has no idea how much make-up it takes to achieve that Not Into Make-up look. "I thought I knew all your secrets," Dawson comments, looking for something on the counter. "You'll never know all a girl's secrets," Jen says grumpily. Dawson ignores her black mood and wonders aloud where his toothbrush is. Jen stares guiltily at the sink. And then admits that she accidentally used it to separate her eyelashes. I've never seen anyone use a toothbrush to comb out their lashes. An old toothbrush for the brows? Sure. But lashes need something, you know, less brush-like. Does Dawson use a toothcomb? Anyway, blah blah blah, he'll just use hers. Jen makes a horrified face. "Jen, we've been sleeping together for three weeks," Dawson points out. "I know. But it's my toothbrush," Jen brats. It is at this point that I would have rolled my eyes, brushed my teeth with my finger, muttered "whatever" under my breath, and stomped out, but Dawson just shrugs and comments that "it's [his] problem." He starts digging around the bathroom, probably looking for a spare toothbrush, but Jen hisses when he touches a drawer, squealing that it's her space. Dawson looks at her. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to freak you out," Jen says. "Take a lot more than that to scare me," Dawson comments amiably, comes over, kisses her on the cheek, wishes her a good morning, and strolls out of the bathroom. Jen looks glum. "Hi," she responds lamely. Man, she's cranky. And Dawson? Not unlikable. How did that happen? I guess getting laid agrees with him. Which is fine with me, as long as I don't ever, ever have to see it. Ever. Ever. EVER.
Worthington College For Proper Young Ladies. Joey's in yet another one of Prof. Creepy's nauseating classes. I can't believe she's becoming one of the English department groupies this early in her college career. This class appears to be "Writing The Novel" or some such, which is a total crock, since there's pretty much no college in the world where a freshman can take what would by rights be an advanced creative writing class. Also, since when is Joey supposed to be this great writer? Sure, she's smart and all, but I thought she was supposed to be an artist. I mean, a visual artist. Oh, whatever. Stupid show. Why do I let it bother me? Anyway. We pan to the back of the class to reveal the guy from Econ class whom Joey met in the previouslys. His hair is just bizarre. It's all, like, combed over in this strange sort of George McFly hairdo that no college boy has ever had, ever. That hair takes serious upkeep, with all the gel and the combing and whatnot. It's quite ridiculous. So anyway, Professor Creepy is yammering on about something, and tells the class to read the first two books on the syllabus before their meeting. One book, apparently, is "a masterpiece," the other "a dismal horrific failure." He makes a face and says something about how if they can't tell the difference, they ought to drop the class posthaste. He then dismisses them. "Not so fast, Miss Potter," he says to Joey as she's packing up her things. Joey's pants are just a yeast infection waiting to happen, they are that tight. McFly watches as Joey slings her backpack over her shoulder and turns to talk to Creepy. He casts around desperately, then leans over to pretend to tie his shoes. "Is there anyone in this class with whom you wish to become better acquainted?" Creepy asks. So now he's also her pimp? That is so inappropriate. Joey furrows her brow and asks if this is "a trick question." Creepy nods over at McFly. "Is your shoe actually untied?" he calls. "No. Not so much," McFly says. Creepy cocks a brow. "I'm rarely wrong about these things," he proclaims. He asks McFly if he was waiting around to get a chance to flirt with Miss Potter. "No," McFly stutters. "That's too bad. Guess you're not the man I thought you were," Creepy says. Because the man he thought McFly was falls into the category of "deranged stalker." Then Creepy stalks off to harass more co-eds, leaving McFly to stutter that he sat behind Joey in Econ. "I really try to face front," Joey says, trying to walk past him. He brings up the Boston Bay party, and Joey again blows him off. Pretty politely, though, saying that "weird things happened that night," and leaving it at that.
McFly follows Joey outside, trying to convince her to get some coffee with him. "I'm late to meet my roommate," she says sharply, and stomps off. Because she thinks McFly slept with Audrey. Remember that? Because I totally didn't. I just expect those little details to be completely forgotten with this show. "Right. Guess I'll see you around then," McFly offers weakly.
Over at the radio station, Jen's doing the DJ thing, complete with irritating banter. She's cueing up a Tenacious D song, but screws it up somehow and decides to take a request. But, see, the call isn't a request. It's a caller with a question. Oh no. Jen's going to become a call-in talk show host, isn't she? Oh, man! This show is turning into , and Jen has become Donna! That is just so sad. Although I guess it makes Dawson David Silver, and I do look forward to the story arc in which he becomes addicted to crystal meth. Anyway, the caller asks if Jen has a boyfriend. "Actually, I do," Jen twitters. Well, the caller does, too. And they have a problem. "Okay. Um. Shoot," Jen says. Well, the caller and her boyfriend have started having sex. And he's bad in bed. Jen laughs knowingly. Very knowingly. She tells the caller that she's "not alone." Apparently, "this is a problem that can be solved." So, is she saying that Dawson sucks in the sack? You know what? I don't even want to think about that. La la la, moving right along.
So, Jack's moving out of Grams's and into the frat house. Dawson's helping, carrying a big old box. They're chatting amiably as they stroll us the walk. "Jen and I have been doing this Will & Grace thing far too long. We need a break from each other," Jack explains. Dawson nods agreeably. Jack repeats for the twelve thousandth time that Jen hates the Greek system, in case anyone currently watching has just now emerged from a coma. "Do a favor for me?" Jack asks as they approach the front door. "Take care of her." Oh, whatever. Like Jack was doing such a good job "taking care" of Jen, what with hanging out at the frat house when her boyfriend was cheating on her and all. Not to mention how irritating it is that these boys seem to be under the impression that Jen's just a weakling who needs constant supervision. Whatever. This show is giving me a goddamned ulcer. And you know what? Jack's subplot is both agonizingly dull and completely predictable, so I'm just going to skim over it: he's getting a single because the guy he was supposed to live with doesn't want to live with a gay guy. Jack is perturbed. I can't believe it's taking us this long to get to the Frat Boys Are Homophobic; Jack Teaches Them Tolerance story line.
Liberty Hell. Audrey's talking to Chef Danny when Pacey comes trudging into the restaurant. "Hey, gorgeous!" Audrey yells. "You never call me 'gorgeous,'" Chef Danny grouses. "That's because you're old enough to be my father, Danny," Audrey explains. Hey, Audrey, put that memo on Joey's pillow, will you? Danny grins as Pacey wanders over and asks to speak to him. "No," Chef Danny responds. Pacey makes sort of a "what the hell?" face, and Danny explains that he finds it easier to say "no" rather than discuss anything with any of employees, because no matter what they ask, it's never good. And, he says, he's got something for Pacey to do. Apparently, their bread guy got thrown in prison (again) and Pacey is going to learn how to bake. "Bread is an art, Pacey, and today you're taking the first step toward becoming that artist," Danny says. Pacey opens his mouth eight or nine times, but can't get a word in edgewise. "You are by far the most naturally gifted culinary freak I have ever had the good nature to stumble across," Danny continues. "The Force is strong in you, kid. I'm serious. I don't know what I'd do without you around here." Danny grins and scampers off. Pacey makes a guilty face. "Oy," he sighs. "Something wrong?" Audrey asks. Pacey denies it, but Audrey doesn't buy it, giving him a skeptical look. Pacey just sighs.
Grams's. Dawson strolls into the kitchen to find his hostess playing maniacally with a Gameboy. "It must be the work of the devil," she says, not looking up. "It's had me under its spell for two hours now." Dawson grins and slides into the seat to her. Grams sets down The Tool Of Satan and asks about registration at Pander's College Of Contrivance. "It was a little weird," Dawson says. "Why?" asks Grams. Dawson shrugs, and explains that he doesn't know if he fits in with the rest of the film students. "I'm not really that mad at the government," he admits. And I laughed at the Head's delivery at that line. You guys! I laughed at the Beek! What the hell is wrong with me? ["Sometimes he's bearable. Don't worry, it's only temporary." -- Sars] Grams mildly comments that Dawson may show the film geeks "a thing or two." They sit at the table in silence for a moment before Dawson comments that it must be weird for Grams to see him and Jen living together under her own roof. But he wants her to know that he thinks Jen is "amazing." That ought to be a great comfort to Grams as she buries her head under pillow every night, trying to drown out the sounds of her granddaughter having premarital sex in the room. She doesn't say this, though, simply admitting that it has been "a bit strange." But, she says, she's "come a long way," thanks to Jen. "Once upon a time, I couldn't even say the word 'penis,'" she says. Oh my God. So, the rational chain of events goes from "saying the word 'penis,'" straight to "approving of one's eighteen-year-old granddaughter having sex with her boyfriend in the room?" I find that hard to believe. I mean, I'm 26 years old, and as far as my parents are concerned, I have never even held hands with a boy. And that's fine with me. Because as far as I'm concerned, neither has my mother. My sister and I are just little miracles!
Dawson clears his throat and tells Grams it would be "fine by [him] if she never said [penis] again." Grams grins wryly. "Can do," she says. And Dawson promises solemnly to abide by Grams's ground rules. Grams looks thoughtful and tells Dawson that he's the nicest young man she knows, with the exception of Jack. "Who we all know will never make an honest woman of my Jennifah," she adds. Dawson chuckles. Homosexuality! It's hilarious! Grams sighs that all she wants is Dawson and Jen "to be kind to each other." Oh, is that what the kids are calling it these days? Ba dum bump! Thanks, you've been a great audience! Ahem. So, Grams and Dawson shake hands on this, and she gets up to do the dishes, and Dawson turns on the radio so they can listen to Jen's show. She is, of course, in Dr. Laura mode, providing more advice to the lovelorn. Predictably, she's advising some poor girl that "eventually, one way or another, men leave." Dawson makes a sad, sad face; Grams looks irritated. As Jen advises her caller to "prepare for disaster," Dawson snaps off the wireless and looks deflated. "Jennifah," Grams says, shaking her head. "Always had a flair for the provocative." Dawson agrees sadly. "I am certain she doesn't really believe all that. She's probably just fanning the flame of popular culture," Grams offers. Dawson looks doubtful.
Bookstore. Creepy. Joey. She's buying her books for class now? I always bought mine before the semester began. But, as I said last week, I was a big old dork. Of course, so is Joey. Oh, man. Whatever. So, Creepy's book is titled Notes from the End of the World, and he twitters that it's really, really "shameless" assigning his own work, but it's the only way he can keep it in print. He's so funny and charming! Except for not at all. Joey smiles and bats her lashes. Creepy blathers about his stupid, stupid book, trying to be all self-deprecating about the failure of his idiotic novel (which is, apparently, about an "incestuous" group of friends, like, we get it), but also managing to work in the fact that he got it published with he was twenty. Shut up, F. Not Fitzgerald. Creepy smiles at his photo on the book cover, dismissing his haircut as "disastrous." Hey, jerkwad? Buy a mirror, because the one you've got on your head right now looks exactly the same. Then he says some shit about keeping in touch "with the person you used to be," and gives Joey one of his patented lecherous glances. "Don't stay up all night reading it, please," he calls over his shoulder. Joey smiles to herself. This plot makes me want to vomit.
Liberty Hell. Pacey's still moping. Audrey's prepping tables, wearing a ruffled tuxedo shirt. With a tie. Tucked into the shirt. Busy Philipps must have burned down the wardrobe mistress's house. She stops at the table that Pacey's monopolizing with his mopery and demands that he tell her what his problem is, or she's going to have to "punch [him] in the face." Heh. Pacey mutters something. "I have to say, High Energy Pacey is way cooler than Sullen Pacey," Audrey says. Pacey sort of grins and explains that he got offered a job. "That's a good thing, right?" Audrey asks. He tells her that the job is on a boat. "A restaurant on the boat? That's kind of weird," Audrey says, wrinkling her nose. "No, a boat boat," Pacey says. Audrey nods. "Oh, I get it," she says. "Sorry." She sets an elaborately folded napkin on the table and wonders why this is a problem. "That's your thing, the young-man-and-the-sea routine," she says. "Thank you for making it sound so stupid," Pacey drawls. But he admits that that is his thing. But he also really likes it at Liberty Hell! "So, stay," Audrey says. But he's been waiting all year for this offer! "So, go," Audrey counsels. Pacey looks conflicted. This is such a non-plot. Josh Jackson's locked into his contract like a lunatic in a straitjacket, poor baby.
In this week's Excruciatingly Dull Subplot, Jack is still upset that frat boys are homophobes.
Liberty Hell. Pacey really, really, really needs to talk to Chef Danny. Chef Danny makes a face like he knows what's coming, and then Pacey just up and quits. Danny just ruefully shakes his head. "Hey, good for you, kid," he says. Pacey apologizes about the short notice, but he just found out about the job, he says. "It's a small price to pay for the opportunity of a lifetime," Chef Danny says, pulling Pacey in for a hug. "Good luck out there," he sniffs. Pacey looks thoughtful as The Sad Sad Music Of Ungrateful Sous Chefs wails on the soundtrack.
"So, how'd he take it?" Audrey asks Pacey, after closing. "He was really great about it, actually," Pacey says, wiping the counter. Audrey's not surprised. "The people that care about you, they just want you to be happy, right?" she asks. Pacey sort of hems and haws, and Audrey grins and hypothesizes that maybe Pacey wanted Chef Danny to be "more disappointed." Pacey retorts that maybe he just likes it in Boston. He's got a life here, he says. "And then, of course, there is that other reason too," Audrey extrapolates. Pacey's all, what reason? "Duh," Audrey drawls. "You totally want me." Pacey leans in and grins at her. "If you're attracted to me, Audrey, just say so," he purrs. Audrey steps back and wrinkles her nose and says that while Pacey is really nice and all, she doesn't know…"You're kind of boring," she says. Pacey's eyes just about pop out of his head. "'Boring'?" he squeals. "You think I'm boring?" Audrey shrugs. "I am not BORING," Pacey continues with the high-talking. "I am NOT boring." Audrey mutters something about how the whole "walking on water" thing just doesn't toast her English muffins. ["Oh my God. Audrey? MARRY ME. Also, a thousand 'words.'" -- Sars] Pacey wrinkles his nose and opines that maybe she's not his type, either. "No," Audrey deadpans. "No?" Pacey squeaks. "No. Guys don't have types," Audrey explains. Pacey says that, in fact, they do. "Pacey," Audrey says, "I have boobs. You would sleep with me." Pacey affects a disinterested expression. "I don't think I could, actually," he says. "Erectile dysfunction?" Audrey snarks, glancing at his crotch. "No, not erectile dysfunction," Pacey spits. "You're just too bawdy for me." Audrey's mouth falls open. "Ew! 'Bawdy'? You make it sound like I'm Bette Midler, or something." Pacey shrugs. "If the shoe fits," he retorts. Finally, Audrey just cracks up and playfully swats him. Pacey grins at her and asks if she needs a ride home. Audrey has barely taken him up on his offer when the restaurant door opens to admit Melanie. Audrey cocks a brow. "Who is she?" she asks. "Just a friend," Pacey says. Audrey snorts. "She's either trying to get your attention or mine," she says, "which means she either has crappy taste in men, or she's a really smart lesbian." Heh. Pacey smiles, first at Audrey, then widely at Melanie, who waves flirtatiously. Audrey cracks up and looks at the floor. "Still want to give me that ride?" she asks. "Not so much, no," Pacey says. "But I will." But Audrey waves him off, telling him not to worry about it. "Listen, be careful," she mock-lectures. "Use redundant forms of birth control. And don't push her head down, girls don't like that." Pacey stifles a smile. "You think?" he asks. "Good night, Pacey," Audrey sing-songs, as Pacey leaps over the counter and approaches Melanie. One-Night Stand Music bow chicka wow wows on the soundtrack, and he and Blondie run hand-in-hand out of the building to go get it on.
Jen walks home. Some woman wails on the soundtrack about the futility of love or some such. Dawson's waiting for her outside Grams's front door. "So, you were listening, huh?" Jen says by way of hello. He was, he says. Turns out -- oh, screw it. Blah blah blah, Jen's suddenly got her own call-in relationship show, like she's even remotely qualified to advise people on romance. Dawson reacts with appropriate boyfriendly enthusiasm. They stare at each other for a second. "So, why don't you say it, Dawson?" Jen finally asks. "Why don't you go ahead and get this over with?" Dawson looks mildly taken aback. "Get what over with?" he asks. Whatever he's been cooking up, Jen spits. Dawson shrugs and tells Jen that he was just waiting for her to see if she wanted to go out with him, since they haven't gotten to spend a whole lot of time together lately. You guys? I'm not finding Dawson irritating at all. In fact, I think Jen is being a pain in the ass. Is this going to get me fired? Sure, I'm irritated by the fact that I'm not irritated by him, but I'm legitimately not annoyed by him. And? And! And I think he doesn't look overly hideous. Oh my God, I'm losing my mind. ["1. No, you're not fired. 2. As I said, don't worry. Dawson will return to his hideous self-absorption in a week, tops. He always does. Trust me. I know it's alarming, but it will pass." -- Sars] "I told you this morning, I'm really busy," Jen sniffs. "Okay, " Dawson responds mildly. "What?" Jen snaps. "This is it, okay? I am what I am, Dawson." You and Popeye, Lindley. "I'm not going to fight with you," Dawson says. "What does that mean?" Jen snaps. "I'm not your other boyfriends. I'm not going to fight with you, I'm not going to lie to you and I'm not going to cheat on you," Dawson says calmly. His nostrils don't even flare. "I'm going to the movies," he continues. "If you want to come with me, that would be great. If not, I'll see you when I get home. Because I will come home. And I'm going to keep coming home, no matter how hard you try and push me away. Now, you can either take my word for it, or you can keep on testing me, but either way, Jen, the results are going to be the same." They stare at each other. And then Dawson just walks off. Oh my God. For half a second there, I almost found Dawson attractive. I'm so scared. Hold me.
Frat. Jack. His 35-year-old non-roommate Eric. Homophobia is wrong, mmmkay?
Audrey stumbles into her dorm room. "Waitressing is a bitch!" she moans, flinging herself on Joey's bed. She's so tired and her feet are killing her. Joey sort of curls around her companionably and I-told-you-sos that Audrey shouldn't have worn her high, pointy shoes. Then she reminds Audrey that this is her bed. Audrey whines that it's "the closest to the door." Joey says something about how Audrey can't possibly think she's going to sleep in Joey's bed. Audrey snarks that she will: "It'll be the most action this bed has ever seen!" Joey smirks and tells Audrey that, for her information, she finally got asked out. "Of course, you said no," Audrey groans. Joey hesitates. "Of course," she finally admits. "Because you're long-suffering and fixated on Dawson," Audrey points out wearily. Joey corrects her roommate, saying that she turned down the suitor du jour because he slept with Audrey. She describes McFly briefly, and Audrey thinks and thinks and thinks. "Has this Crispin Glover thing?" Joey says finally. Audrey nods in recognition and then explains that she totally didn't sleep with McFly. He walked Audrey home, apparently, but he "kept yammering about how wonderful [Joey was], and eventually [Audrey] fell asleep in a nauseated stupor." Joey's all, oh. She stammers that Audrey could have mentioned this before. "I would have, if I knew how cute you thought he was," Audrey coos, before closing her eyes.
Melanie and Pacey run off their mouths before getting to the sex: blah blah blah boat, yada yada yada getting away from it all, blah blah blah summer. He wonders if she ever considers going back out there. Out to the sea! Melanie does, she says. "But I won't. I know it. I've got this life here. School. Friends." She's put down roots, she says. Pacey knows. Melanie smiles winningly and admits that, for the rest of her life, she's going to look back on their Summer Of Hot, Meaningless Sex and smile. So will Pacey. So will Pacey. He asks her to tell him about the guy she was seeing, the one it didn't work out with. She kisses him. "How about I don't, and we do this instead," she purrs. He pulls her into his arms. They make out.
morning. Pacey's all standing around the boat in a black wife-beater, showing off his new biceps. Pacey lovers all over the world toss up a quick prayer of thanks for The Zone Diet. Melanie is throwing on her clothes in preparation for The Walk Of Shame. Pacey, pulling on his sweatshirt, offers to take her for bagels. Dude, those biceps, plus a nice sesame seed bagel with cream cheese and a big cup of coffee? Marry me, Pacey! But Melanie wants no part of this carbohydrate's paradise; she's running late. Pacey stops dressing and grins at her. "How do you look so beautiful, first thing in the morning?" he asks. "I don't even have soap in my shower." Melanie tosses her bedhead. "I've gotten used to roughing it with you," she says. "Also, I haven't showered." Not really. He kisses her again, telling her that "last night was great." She agrees. "Might make a boy want to stay on shore for a while," he says. Melanie pulls away and laughs. "And ruin my perfect sailor-boy fantasy?" she asks. Then she leaves, with a final request that he call her the time he washes up on shore.
Bathroom Of Grams. Dawson stands at the sink. Jen pokes her head in the doorway. "Soft bristled, Number 60, right?" she asks. "You noticed," Dawson grins. Aw, she bought him a toothbrush. Dental hygiene equals love! Jen sits on the closed toilet and asks that Dawson not leave shaving cream in the sink. He agrees. "You know why I wear make-up?" she asks, suddenly. "Acquiescence to images presented in a male-dominated media?" Dawson chirps. Jen grins. "Yes, my little feminist boyfriend, that is very correct," she says. Wow. I just wear make-up to look prettier. Also, Dawson? Let's not talk about him and feminism in the same sentence, because I really don't have time for that particular sidebar right now. That way, carpal tunnel syndrome lies. "When I was a little girl, I learned that I should hide, and cover myself up," Jen explains. "And that was protection. Do you know how weird it is to live with someone, to be with someone who, no matter what you do, can always see you?" And I know this is supposed to be all meaningful or something, but all I can think about is the wallpaper in this bathroom. It's like, ivy, or something, and I love it. By the time I'm done mentally re-papering my hallway, Dawson's said something about their newfound vulnerability being "a little scary" or some shit. He and Jen stare at each other. "Does it help if I remind you how much I like what I see?" he asks. It does, Jen says. "Thank you for my new toothbrush," Dawson says. Jen kisses him on the cheek. "Good morning," she says. "Good morning," he replies. They brush their teeth in perfect harmony, smiling at each other in the mirror.
So, stupid Joey goes to see McFly. She hesitates at his door, then starts to knock, but he opens the door before she can go through with it. "Are you lost or something?" McFly asks. Joey chatters something about something, then fades into an awkward pause. Katie Holmes looks very pretty here, just by the way. She opens her mouth and says that the night they met "took on this mythic significance that it shouldn't have." And maybe they can start over completely. Because she wants to "make new friends." McFly stares at her all googly-eyed. "Look, I never slept with your roommate," he says. "That what this is about, right?" he asks. Joey admits that it sort of is. She smiles at him awkwardly. "So, do you want to get coffee or something?" she offers. "Oh. I've got a class," McFly says. "Oh," Joey sighs. "Not really," McFly chortles. "I just wanted to see if you'd be disappointed." Joey grins, and McFly slams the door behind him and they walk off down the hallway. "That thing in class the other day? That was really embarrassing," Joey says. "Yeah, I know," McFly agrees. "It took a lot of work to make it come out that way." Huh? Does that mean he -- wait. What does that mean? Were he and Creepy in cahoots? Or is -- oh, forget it. It's not like McFly's going to last! We all saw that promo with Prof. Creepy and his big fat creepy lips!
So, Jack tries to move out of the frat house. The big dramatic response? "Come on, dude, don't do this." But he does! Then Jack's 35-year-old non-roommate, Homophobe Eric, chases him outside! "Listen, man, look, I'm really sorry," he says. Jack grumps that he understands. Eric swears that he's really cool about living with Jack. Really. Cool. Super-cool. "This whole thing has been a real eye-opener for me," Eric says. Yawn. Eric holds out the keys to their room and jangles them in Jack's face. Jack says he'll think about it. "You know where to find me," Eric pleads. Jack walks off, sighing.
Pacey's boat. "Howdy, sailor," Audrey says, climbing below deck, where Pacey's throwing stuff into a duffle bag. She inquires after his "dangerous liaison." Pacey lifts his brows. "Really want to know?" he asks. Audrey wrinkles her nose. "Ew, gross!" she retorts. "No! I was just being a pain in the ass." They banter, Audrey even going so far as calling Pacey outside for a duel, which he refuses. "Pacey? Really. Come outside for a second," she orders. He makes an amused face, then follows her up the stairs.
Up on deck, the gang's all there. "So, when where you planning on telling us you were leaving?" Joey asks, grinning. Pacey groans, and sarcastically thanks Audrey for telling everyone about his little Blowing Town plan. Jen steps in, and tells him that they're not going to try to talk him into staying. "We're happy for you, Pacey," Joey says. She hands him a gift, which he opens to reveal some kind of fancy navigational-type thing. "It's beautiful," he says, sort of choked up. "It was Dawson's idea," Joey chirps. "In case you get lost out there," Dawson offers. Pacey thanks them, nicely, and explains that he can't accept it. Everyone's all, sure you can! "I actually can't, because I'm not going anywhere," Pacey announces. Everyone looks shocked, with the exception of the entire viewing audience. "For the first time in my life, I feel like I don't have anything to run from," Pacey explains. Also, he adds, the restaurant would collapse without him. "Plus, let's not forget that you want me," Audrey pipes up. "Well, that goes without saying," Pacey says. And everyone is happy, happy, happy that Pacey isn't leaving! He smiles at his friends, then wrinkles up his face and admits that he finds himself with no place to live. Jen offers up Grams's place yet again, which Pacey very wisely turns down. "Face it, Pace. You're stuck with us," Joey says, grinning. "Yes, I am," Pacey says, grinning, "You band of brigands." Cue the group hug. If only they were brigands! This show could use more pirates.