Props to Pamie, Sars, and to the DC contest winners to whom I finally sent prizes this week.
Previously on Dawson's Creek: Joey roomed with A.J. Moller, who was not a girl; he asked her whether he could call her sometime, and she said he could; Nikki told Dawson that it would benefit his films if he cared about one or two things other than film; Jen and Henry started talking again, and Henry jumped to the conclusion that they were a couple; Andie assistant-directed Barefoot in the Park, and Pacey starred in it; the DC writers shamelessly ripped off Election; I enjoyed my week away from Dawson's Creek.
The camera swoops in on the PB&B. Within, Pacey "Hamlette" Witter is saying, "Tomorrow night will be your night. We'll do whatever you want." In response, we hear the voice of "Little Orphan" Joey Potter saying she wants to do "something wild, insane, and crazy," and Pacey promises that they will. We finally make visual contact with our stars; Joey glances at a book, then sets it down decisively and says, "No way. Sorry. We're done." Pacey whines that they "can't stop now" because he "doesn't know this stuff at all." Joey replies, "Sorry, Master Thespian, but the whole consists solely of cooing, tickling, and lap-sitting -- three things definitely not in my range as an actress." You don't have to tell us that, lady; we saw Teaching Mrs. Tingle. Oh, wait. No, we totally didn't. And that was why. Pacey says that Joey will be sorry tomorrow when Pacey gets up on stage, panics, and starts ad-libbing obscenities to the crowd. (Shout-out?) Joey gives him a sidelong glance and quietly tells him that she'd planned to go on Saturday. Pacey's face crumples in on itself, but he quickly recovers and tells her that she has to go on Friday -- opening night -- because there'll be a better chance then for her to see some "amusing disaster." Good point, that. (And I'd like to add that this show aspires to be an "amusing disaster.") She says that she can't, because she has to go to "this thing" on Friday night with "a guy" who, when pressed, she admits is A. "Hole" J. Moller. Pacey squeaks, "The college guy?" and Joey rolls her eyes and looks sheepish and says that he's coming to the Cape for a party and invited her to go with him. Pacey is incredulous that Joey would deign to attend a frat party, and Joey insists that A.J. isn't that kind of college guy, and that the party has been organized around the possibility that the night, Cape Cod residents will be able to see the aurora borealis. Pacey opines that this is a flimsy excuse A.J. has concocted in order to "separate [Joey] from the Potter pantalones." (Hey! That's what I call my landlord in my journal on Hissyfit. Shout-out?) Joey informs him that "you can't fake geomagnetic activity." Pacey says that you can if you're some "Ivy League egghead" bent on carrying out an "astronomical make-out scam." He adds that the chances of the northern lights' appearing in the sky over Capeside are about as good as his of acquitting himself with distinction in the play tomorrow night. Joey says, "Yeah, well, call me crazy, but I'll take those odds any day." Is that some kind of back-handed vote of confidence in Pacey? Whatever. I'm not so sure I want these two to hook up anymore. And what's with the new credits? It's January! Although the only images that seem to have disappeared are those of Michelle Williams's crimpy locks.
Outside Capeside High, Dawson "Milos Forehead" Leery is asking Joey what she thinks about...something. She says she thinks he's going to be pretty bored in study hall. He says "it" could give him a great opportunity to study human behaviour, "at least until [he] figure[s] out what [his] move is going to be." Please let it be a move to Time of Your Life; it's got one foot in the grave already! Joey tells him not to join the yearbook. Just then Nikki "Wing's Girlfriend" Green cuts them off at the pass and snaps, "You dropped Film class? Are you insane?" Joey says that she can tell that the two of them have a lot to discuss, and books. Nikki asks Dawson whether his decision has anything to do with the film festival, and Dawson says that he just needs to "walk away for a little while" and "recharge [his] batteries." God, I don't even want to think where the "batteries" go on Dawson. OR DO I? Nikki tells him that the least he could have done was give her some warning since they are partners, and are supposed to stand in front of their class in three days and pitch a feature film. I suspect that this is a plot point that was first revealed on the Desktop. I would therefore like to take a moment to spit on the accursed name of Dawson's Desktop. Ptooie! Dawson, completely missing the point that he basically just shat on their (sort of) professional relationship, says he's sure that their teacher would be happy to give Nikki an extension, and assign her a new partner. Very seriously, Nikki says, "I don't want another partner. I want you." Nikki, we need to start seeing other people. Dawson asks her who she thinks she's kidding, because she's probably already got the whole assignment finished already. Nikki looks kind of embarrassed and says, "Well...yeah. But I was going to ask for your ideas!" Dawson says that if she had, she'd realize that he doesn't have any ideas. I could have told her that. Nikki doesn't believe him, and says that he's probably the most creative person in the class. Why, because he made three movies, each more derivative than the last? Dawson corrects her: "As of 8:15, I'm the most creative person not in class." Rolling my eyes this much makes it really hard for me to see my monitor, so please forgive any typos.
Backstage at the play, the girl who's playing Corie is needling Pacey, asking him how they're supposed to "go up tonight" if he keeps forgetting his lines. Pacey says that he knows them, but that he has a bit of "recall delay." The camera pans over to Andie "Jane Crampion" McPhee who is screeching that she can't find Mr. Broderick, adding, "Our play is falling apart at the seams!" On the fly, she tells Pacey to take it from the top; he forgets what that means, so she reminds him in a frazzled way that it means he should start at his entrance. As she stands in a doorway freaking out, Jack "Back in Angry's Arms" McPhee jogs up behind her. Before he can say anything, she snaps, "Not now, Jack," and bitches about the play some more. Instead of saying "I can pack those bags and go back to Grams's before you take your daily dose," Jack tells her that half an hour ago, in English class, Mr. Broderick -- "'Mr. Broderick' what?" Andie demands. Jack tells her to come with him.
Cut to Mr. Broderick in a hospital bed. He's saying that "the nurse thinks it's a kidney stone," and that his wife's on her way to pick him up. Andie anxiously protests that he can't go home because the play goes on in eight hours. Mr. Broderick tells her that he isn't going to make it to the play and that she'll have to take his place. As Jack hovers nervously behind her, Andie babbles on about the tickets she has to sell and the after-party she has to set up (which, when I was in school, usually took place after the last performance, not the first, besides which, nice priorities, 1AD) and yelps that she can't do everything by herself. Jack wearily tells her that he can do the tickets and the after-party. Mr. Broderick moans, "There you go. Jack will help you. I have faith in you, Andie. I mean, who am I kidding? It's been your show all along. This is your night." He hands Andie a leather portfolio which she identifies as his "director's binder," and he tells her that it's hers now: "And as the house lights fall over that magic place we call the theatre, all I ask is that you give pause for a fleeting moment and think of me." I'm sorry, is he a drama teacher or a drama queen? It's a kidney stone, not a tumour. Jack tries unsuccessfully not to crack up at Mr. Broderick's histrionics. Meredith Monroe mugs for the camera.
Back at school, Jen "Bacon Bitch" Lindley calls Henry's name over a railing. The camera pans down to show Henry "Getting Less Fresh by the Day" Parker and his greeeezy hair, hurriedly slamming his locker shut and rushing toward the exit. Jen trots down the stairs calling his name again and asking him to wait. She runs around a corner in time to see him, down the hall, turn around, make eye contact with her, and run away. She stops to make a quick calculation, then runs in the other direction and cuts him off at his chosen exit. That'll do, pig. Henry stops long enough to roll his eyes at her a bit, then keeps running. She chases him and asks why he's avoiding her. He asks why she's cancelling dinner tonight. She asks what makes him think she's cancelling. He says, "Ever since you agreed to this dare-I-call-it date, you don't even make eye contact with me in hallway. It's like you've got this giant blind spot in my exact shape and size." I wish I did. Jen asks whether he thinks he might be paranoid, and he asks her again if she plans to cancel. Jen insists that she's not cancelling anything -- just postponing. She's also wearing a very un-Jen-like pastel cardigan with these totally ridiculous yarn balls hanging down around her neck and bobbing back and forth whenever she moves. Like, it's a sweater, not a 1983 tennis sock. Anyway, at the news of her postponement, Henry huffs at Jen and goes on his way, but she follows and explains that it's Pacey's opening night and that she wants to be there to support him. Henry asks her to assure him that her non-cancellation is only about the play; she says it is, and he says, "Great." She asks why it's great, and he says that he'll go with her. A look of vague disappointment (or maybe just "a look of vague") comes over her face, and in a stunned voice she confirms the curtain time and tells him it's okay with her if she joins him. The hell? Okay, after all the hassle they went through getting these two back in the chemistry-free zone, why doesn't Jen want to see him, now? Oh, forget it, I don't care.
At the PB&B, Joey is fending off the eyelash-curling ministrations of Bessie "Bodie Got Back" Potter. There's a knock at the door and Joey hisses, "That can't be him!" Joey's hair is wack. I mean, I know the Potters are po', but if they can afford an eyelash curler, they can afford a. Hair. BRUSH. Bessie tells Joey to relax and let Bodie get the door, and to remind Bessie again why she shouldn't be worried that Joey's dating "some much older guy." Joey scoffs that A.J.'s not that much older -- he's only nineteen. There's another knock at the door and Bessie opens it, glances at the person on the other side, and quickly closes the door again, saying, "Well, it's a boy, just not the one we expected." Bessie opens the door again and, after a beat, Pacey carefully steps inside. Bessie brushes past him and closes the door behind her. He starts to tell Joey that he "completely tanked," and Joey serenely tells him to calm down, because he's just nervous. She stands up, putting in an earring, to show that she's wearing a long skirt in an inoffensive floral print. She looks nice. Except for her hair. ["And her posture -- although I don't know what I expect, since she no longer has a spine of any kind." -- Sars] Pacey tells her that he's "way beyond nervous" and that in the read-through they had that afternoon he couldn't remember a single line. The day of the play, and they're having a read-through instead of a dress rehearsal? Joey says that she doesn't know why he's psyching himself out, because he knew the play perfectly well when she practiced it with him two nights ago. Pacey says that's because he was with her: "When I got to do it with actual human beings -- nothing." Joey says, regretfully, "I know I suck for not being there; I'm sorry." Very agitated now, Pacey says, "You do," but tells her that she can redeem herself by coming to the after-party: "And, you know, don't say no too quickly, because you're definitely going to need a shoulder to cry on if this whole northern lights thing doesn't work out." Joey laughs and says that she'll try to come, but that he shouldn't count on it, and rhymes off some science talk that boils down to there being a great likelihood of northern lights tonight. Pacey asks where this "scientific mumbo-jumbo" is coming from, since Pacey thought A.J. was "a poetry geek." Joey defensively says that A.J. is a Renaissance man. Pacey dismissively says, "Fantastic! He can bore you in seven languages." Joey sniffs, "Just three, actually -- English, French, and Latin." Pacey says the usual Latin-is-a-dead-language crap. Bessie opens the door and says, "He's here." Pacey puts his palm...over Bessie's face...and...in her own home...pushes her out of the room and closes the door. Okay, actually it was kind of funny -- Joshua Jackson does know from comic timing -- but by rights Pacey should have been out on his ass via the window for that, and I don't care if he did hang said window. At the news of A.J.'s arrival, Joey freezes. Pacey tells her it's not too late for her to "back out" of her northern-lights party. Making final adjustments to her ensemble, Joey asks why she'd want to do that, and Pacey tells her that A.J. is clearly "an operator," and that the first thing he'll do when he comes in is pay Joey "some lame compliment about how incredible [she] look[s] tonight." Joey looks taken aback by his saying something nice, and nervously mutters, "Pacey..."
As they walk out of her bedroom, he goes on: "I'm just lookin' out for you! And then he'll try something cute, like a negligible but not insignificant amount of physical contact, you know what I mean? Like helping you on with your coat, hmm?" Joey mutters that "it's called being a gentleman," and that she's surprised he's heard of it. Pacey, really racing now, tells her that the party to which A.J.'s invited her probably doesn't even exist, and that if it does, he'll take the first opportunity to get her alone. As he says the last bit, Joey watches A.J. idly leaf through a book on a foyer table, then confidently strolls toward him, and then abruptly switches gears to mincing around in a semi-circle just inside his line of sight, without saying anything. Finally he says "hey," and she says "hi" and he says she looks "amazing." Pacey watches protectively while she gets her coat out of the closet, and A.J., as predicted, helps her on with it. Pacey looks wounded. Joey catches his eye just before she heads out the door, and looks slightly guilty. That scene was well done. Too bad A.J. had to be there.
I don't even like Macs, and I want an iBook.
At the party, A.J. walks out of a house carrying two pewter steins and hands one to Joey, who stands outside shivering and distractedly looking at the sky. Joey asks who everyone standing around is. A.J. points out the owner of the house as a mathematician who was A.J.'s mentor at one time. Everyone else is either a grad student of the host, or a prof who enjoys free food. (In other words, "a prof.") Joey's skirt is really insufficient for the weather; it's plainly a summer-weight cotton. She needs a polar-fleece skirt. I have one, and it's warm as fuck. Anyway, A.J. gives Joey some pointers on how to recognize pretentious academic types. Referring to oneself by one's initials is not on the list; poor fashion sense, bad haircuts, and pretentious taste in beverages are, the last because their steins contain mead, which A.J. pours out onto the grass. What a gracious guest! I guess it would have been too hard for him not to take any. A.J. helpfully informs Joey that mead is "what Beowulf drank before he slew Grendel." Joey raises the stein to her lips, and A.J. warns her not to have any, and actually takes it out of her hand, telling her it's alcoholic. Joey flirtatiously says that she "thought college guys looked for opportunities to get high-school girls all liquored up." A.J. says that's the M.O. only for college guys with no imagination: "Alcohol isn't exactly the most sophisticated way to seduce a girl." Yeah, dude -- talking about Beowulf is. Realizing what he's just said, he stammers that he wasn't planning on seducing her, he didn't mean, of course he isn't, and trails off as crowds walk behind them. Saving him, Joey asks where everyone's going, and he says they're avoiding cloud cover, since viewing conditions aren't exactly clear. Hey, one of the extras was smoking! Joey asks if that means they won't see any lights, and A.J. says that it might clear up around midnight. Alarmed, Joey repeats, "Midnight?" A.J. explains why that's the best time to see the lights. I don't care, though. Joey deduces that they have a long wait ahead of them, and A.J. uses a Cinderella metaphor to ask whether Joey has a curfew. She shakes her head, says that she might freeze to death, though, and suggests they go inside. A.J. suggests that they take a walk first instead. Joey looks apprehensive, but agrees. Girls! Always trust your instincts in these situations!
Outside the auditorium, Jack sells tickets and distributes programs. As Dawson purchases his ticket, Andie comes out and asks him where Pacey is. Dawson pompously asks, "As his director, shouldn't you have a better idea of that than I do?" Shut up, Dawson. At least someone on the DC crew knew enough to dress Andie all in black because she'll be backstage. Blah blah blah Pacey's late for curtaincakes. Dawson offers to go look for him. Andie says Dawson should tell Pacey not to worry, because Andie's not going to kill him until after the show. She takes off. Jack watches her go, then turns to Dawson and makes a "yikes" face. I know we're not even at the halfway mark yet, but already this show needs more Jack.
Dawson walks into the gym, where a costumed Pacey is shooting baskets. Pacey asks how Dawson knew where to find him, to which Dawson replies that he has "the misfortune of knowing how [Pacey's] brain works." It must also be said that Pacey is wearing his stage make-up and some nasty fake sideburns. He bounces the ball to Dawson and notes that the last time they were on a basketball court together, Pacey ended up getting his nose broken. Dawson sniffs that they "don't have time for this." Pacey motions for Dawson to send the ball back and says that he just wants to shoot a couple more, and that it's "all part of the process." Dawson asks why Pacey's so nervous. Uh. Maybe because -- to the knowledge of the viewing audience, anyway -- he's never even been in a play before and now he's the lead? But I'm no psychologist, or anything. Dawson adds that "it's not like Pacey's never acted before," but duh, it's not the same being in your friend's crappy movie when you know no one's ever going to see it, and being in a live play in front of your entire town. God, Dawson's an idiot. Pacey reminds Dawson how many times it took Pacey to "get that sea creature thing right." Dawson smirks, "Good point." Pacey says, as I just did, that no one was there watching him when they made Dawson's movie, and that no ex-girlfriends were counting on him to do a good job in it. Dawson asks Pacey if he enjoys acting. Pacey says that in spite of the fact that he was blackmailed into it, being in the play has been "a blast." Dawson advises him, then, to go on stage and have a blast: "It's all that matters, man -- find what you love to do, and do it." Pacey saves me the trouble, and observes, "This is coming from a guy who gave up his life's passion to hang out with the underachievers in fourth-period study hall, right?" Dawson says that he didn't give it up, but decided to "spread it around a little bit." Ew. Pacey asks when Dawson became "all Zen," since Pacey thought that of all people Dawson would be freaking out the most. Dawson asks why, and Pacey casually mentions Joey's date with "college guy." Dawson, who we're to believe has, until this point, been sinking basket after basket, of course shoots one that misses wildly. Because we've never seen that before. Dawson jogs to get the ball and mutters that he really sucks at this game. And it doesn't even matter to which "game" he's referring -- he's right. Dawson takes the ball with him out the door, calling Pacey "Olivier" and telling him his public awaits. Pacey follows behind, needling Dawson about the possibility that A.J. might be a "sex maniac." Dawson glances over his shoulder, and says, "Joey's a big girl. I'm sure she can take care of herself." Pacey busts out the soulmate crap, but for once Dawson doesn't take the bait, and simply says, "Had to happen eventually. You said that yourself." Pacey reluctantly follows.
Henry walks into the auditorium looking for Jen. She's idly glancing around, and then catches a glimpse of him over her shoulder and hisses his name to flag him down. He tells her he thought they were going to meet out front. Sounding guilty, she says that she thought whoever got there first was supposed to save seats, so she did. She sort of bites her tongue as if bracing for a fight; the reason becomes clear as she introduces Henry to Grams, who is sitting to her. For some reason, Henry incredulously repeats, "Your grandmother?" as if he's never seen a senior citizen in his life. Grams rises slowly from her chair, clearly not having expected to meet anyone, and shakes Henry's hand, saying it's a "pleasant surprise." Henry gets through the usual pleasantries politely enough. Grams asks Jen why she didn't tell her Henry was coming, since, had she known, Grams would have gladly stayed home so that they could be alone. Before Jen can say anything in response, she notes that the play is starting and they all sit down; Jen manoeuvres in such a way that Grams ends up sitting between herself and Henry. Again I must ask why Jen tried so hard to re-establish ties with Henry if being with him makes her so uncomfortable. It's not that I blame her; it's just that they should have left him off the show entirely, because he adds nothing to it.
Backstage, a few minutes into the play, Andie frets but seems to have things pretty well under control. Pacey appears. Andie cusses him out a bit and says that she sent his understudy into make-up fifteen minutes ago. Pacey says that he thinks the understudy should stay there, since Pacey can't do the play. Andie tells him that she gave up on his knowing the play word for word a long time ago, and that now she'll be satisfied if he goes out and gives "the general gist." She straightens up his costume, hands him his prop suitcase, and sends him out on stage. It happens that his first cue is "Say something!" and, after a beat, he smoothly delivers his line. Backstage, Andie claps and looks relieved.
Moon. Water. Pier. A.J. College talk. Joey says that she doesn't know if she wants to go to an Ivy League school, but that if she doesn't try, she'll always wonder if she's good enough, blah di blah, wrong side of the Creek, whatever, no one cares anymore. A.J. says she sounds pretty driven. Joey scoffs that she's only driven "by fear of failure." A.J. apparently got the memo up at non-Harvard and manages to work Joey's dead mother into the conversation, by saying that ambition like Joey's is common in girls who lose their mothers when they're young. Joey looks grateful that, for once, she doesn't have to mention her mom herself, and offers Madonna as another example of a driven, motherless girl. A.J. says he was thinking more of the Brontë sisters (who, at the sound of their name being uttered on Dawson's Creek, pirouette in their graves). Joey says that for a while she thought she liked art, and she still does, but "it's like there's this person that you want to be for other people, you know -- to make them happy, and to make them proud of you -- and then there's yourself, and sometimes it's really hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. Does that make sense?" No. Do you still draw, or what? Because I haven't seen you pick up a sketchpad in, like, a year. A.J. says it makes perfect sense, but he just wants to do her. Then he non sequiturs that in mediaeval Europe, they used to think the northern lights were the spirits of dead warriors. Damn, no wonder this guy's dating a high-school girl; no college-aged girl would put up with his boring, pretentious ass.
Anyway, Joey says, "And now?" A.J. says that now scientists know that the northern lights are "charged particles of the sun interacting with the earth's upper atmosphere." Joey says, "Charged particles. Not too romantic." A.J. says, "Think about it from the particles' point of view." Wing Chun says, "HA HA HA HA!" I would hate to have to choose the single most inane line of DC dialogue, but that would certainly be in the top ten. He goes on to think like a particle (which shouldn't be too hard for him) and point out that they're inexplicably drawn, blah blah blah, and somehow this causes Joey's panties to melt and they kiss. When they part, A.J. looks like he's trying for an expression that says he's "moved," but he looks more like he's going to throw up. Joey laughs nervously and says she just remembered that she "promised to meet someone somewhere." A.J. incredulously asks, "Now?" like "Now? After my Ivy Lips have deigned to brush against yours?" She nods with fake regret and they start back.
On stage, Pacey is acting like a drunk, standing on a fake skylight and telling his stage bride to tell him he's a drunk, and that she loves him. The stage bride does, begging him to please come down off the roof. Andie looks pleased.
At the after-party, Jack hands Andie an absolutely enormous bouquet of flowers. She thanks him effusively and marvels that he was able to assemble the entire after-party in a single afternoon. He tells her that she's the amazing one, and adds, "One word about how my people excel at decorating and you're dead." Uh. Thanks for the warning. Jen, with Grams and Henry, congratulates Andie as she passes by. The three members of the Lindley party stand silent. Jen spots Pacey sitting at a bar, suggests that Grams and Henry "grab some punch," and takes off, promising that she'll be right back. Henry helps Grams off with her coat (hey, he's an operator just like A.J.! Look out, Grams, he'll be talking about charged particles !) and looks wistfully across the room at Jen.
Jen sits down to Pacey, who thanks her for coming tonight. She says she wouldn't have missed it, noting the packed opening-night house. Pacey drawls, "And not a Witter in attendance! What a surprise!" Pacey adds that he's grateful that Dawson, Jack, and Jen are all there. Jen fills in the blank and asks, "You know who's not here?" Pacey plays dumb, and Jen says, "Joey." Pacey says that Joey couldn't make it because of her big date. Jen says it's too bad, because Joey missed "a great show, and an incredible leading man." You see? The metaphor? "Leading man"? Anyway. Pacey thanks her. Jen says, "Of course, you hardly noticed...barely missed her." At that moment Joey appears between them and asks, "Missed who?" Jen and Pacey manage not to look like they were just talking about her, and Pacey says, "Nobody."
Elsewhere, Nikki finds Dawson seated at a table and hands him a plate of crudités. She sits down and tells him she thinks he's taking "this whole precocious teenager thing a bit too far," explaining that people shouldn't get disillusioned and give up the film business until they're at least twenty-five. No, Nikki, actually Dawson should give up now. Other facets of his life that he should give up include his haircut, his improperly-employed fifty-cent words, his XXXXXL wardrobe, and the idea that he and Joey are anything starting with "soul" and ending with "mates." Dawson tells Nikki that his decision isn't that big a deal, since all he's really doing is giving up an elective. She tells him that he dropped film, which she thought was who he is. Dawson says that film is part of who he is. He reminds her of the conversation they had in the last episode I recapped, in which she told him that there's more to life than film, and tells her about coming home that night and taking all the movie posters off his bedroom walls. He goes on: "There's this image that I keep on coming back to. I'm ten years old. My parents have taken me to see Jurassic Park. I'm sitting there, fourth row centre, popcorn in lap, flanked by mom and dad. These two teenagers walk in -- a guy and a girl, probably our age. They sit in front of us, and they proceed to make out throughout the entire movie. [Nikki laughs.] And I remember sitting there just being shocked that anyone would rather kiss than watch this miraculous fantasy unfold on-screen. And at one point I actually tapped the guy on the shoulder and asked him if he wouldn't mind keeping it down. And he looked at me like, 'Look, one day, kid, you'll get it.' And here I am, all these years later, and I'm still not the kid who goes to the movie theatre just to make out, and I'm not the kid who sat between his parents anymore. I'm this third person who's too busy analyzing everything that I can't enjoy anything. I mean, the other two guys -- at least they were having fun. I'm just not, anymore." Join the club, All-Brat. Nikki asks him where he intends to look for the joy he's lost. Dawson laughs and says that he has absolutely no idea, and asks her whether she has any ideas. She asks him where he was when he "had it last." As I recall, he was on his dad's boat just before it crashed into a pier. He eats a piece of food and doesn't answer, which suggests to me that he's thinking the same thing I am.
After a shot of a spinning disco ball, we catch up with Pacey and Joey, the latter of whom is reminding the former that she'd told him everything would work out. Pacey bluntly asks Joey what she's doing there, and whether A.J. bailed on her. She makes up some story about the clouds, and the cold, and before she can get to the part where she ends up at the after-party, Pacey asks, "He kissed you, didn't he?" Joey asks him what makes him say that, and Pacey says A.J. would have to be a moron not to, and that her lipstick is smeared all over her face. (Unlikely, since their mouths didn't even move when they kissed.) She nervously regards Pacey over the rim of her glass. He asks if she's going to see A.J. again. She says she doesn't know, and then goes into the many reasons they shouldn't bother -- his age, the fact that he's supposedly smarter than she is, and the distance. She winds up by asking rhetorically, "How could I feel about him the way that I --" "Feel about Dawson," Pacey finishes for her, with an air of resignation. She pauses, and then corrects him: "No, I was actually going to say 'felt.'" Oh, man. If that's true -- if she really is over him -- then praise Jesus.
Pacey looks taken aback, and then says, "You want to know something, Miss Josephine Potter? I think the world may just surprise you yet." She looks skeptical. He continues: "I mean, you fall in love, and it doesn't work out, and you think that it'll never happen again, but it does. Believe me, it does -- in the strangest of places." He looks down as if he's afraid to meet her eyes. She asks what makes him "such an expert." He replies that he's an actor, and as such, it's his job to understand the workings of the human heart. She flirtatiously says that she liked him better when he was brooding and defeatist. Looking over her shoulder, he curtly says, "Uh huh." She says, "What?" He tells her that her date may not be as "over" as she thinks it is. She gives him a sultrily quizzical look, and then turns around to see A.J. at the entrance. She turns back around, looking disappointed. Pacey tells her to go talk to A.J. -- "You know you want to" -- and she thanks him and takes off. Pacey watches her go, looking resigned some more.
When the music stops, everyone hears Henry call Jen's name. She looks up and says, "Henry, what the hell are you doing?" The camera pans up to show Henry standing in the rafters. No, he doesn't have a noose around his neck, and no, he's not wearing Samantha Sanders's costume from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Unfortunately. Jen smiles as if to say, "That darn cat!"
After the break, Henry pretty much recreates the skylight scene from the play, only instead of requiring her to declare her love, he makes her admit that she's embarrassed to be on a date with him. Someone in the crowd yells, "Get over it, Jen!" Jen quietly tells Henry to get down. After a beat, Henry asks, "Does somebody have a ladder?" Ugh. I'm angry that I've wasted even that much time writing about these two star-crossed losers.
Water. A.J. and Joey walk along a bridge. Joey asks him why he came back. A.J. admits that he never left -- just sat in the car thinking that when someone says something you don't understand, you have a small window to ask him or her to explain what he or she meant, or else spend the rest of your life pretending you understood them. After his sitting in the car, he decided that he wanted to re-open the window and ask her whether he did something wrong. Joey says that he didn't, and that she panicked, and that she lacks the ability to exhibit grace under pressure. A.J. tells her it was just a kiss, and she says that when he kissed her, she realized how much further ahead he is in his life than she is in hers. She knew that when he stopped kissing her, he'd realize that he'd made a mistake, because she doesn't know what most of the things he talks about are. I can tell you what they are: BORING. And if he's boring you, that's his problem, not yours! She finishes by asking whether there's anything on which he's not an authority, and he predictably replies, "Girls. Beautiful girls." She says something about the northern lights they didn't get to see. He says, "No, time." That's hopeful. He says he's seen them before. She asks him to tell her about them. He says some crap about the sky looking like it's on fire. She says it sounds "kind of scary." He says it is, but that it's beautiful. Go back to non-Harvard, you dull-ass prig!
Jack and Andie clean up the after-party. Jack says he's sorry their dad couldn't be there, and she says that she's actually glad he didn't make it, and that it was refreshing for her to be around people who believe in the person she is now, and don't know anything about the way she used to be. She says that the whole night, she just felt like herself, and Jack says that her saying that is some of the best news he's heard in a while. Aw. Andie says that when she was in the Bed & Breakdown, she had a mantra: "Structure and Purpose." She says that she knows that it was only a crappy little school play, but that it represented structure and purpose to her. She says that it's good to have a goal to hold on to, rather than another person, because then it's like you're really holding on to a part of yourself. Jack asks if she's really okay, these days, and she says she's great. Jack looks up, points outside, and asks, "You sure you're that great?" The camera cuts to Pacey, sitting outside, alone, looking very sad indeed. Andie says there's only one way to find out, and goes outside.
We cut to the porch, where Pacey says "hey," sounding surprised to see her. She observes that he wasn't exactly the life of the party tonight, and he says that he has a lot of things on his mind. She says it's too bad his parents couldn't come. He says that there were a lot of people who couldn't come opening night, "so c'est la vie." Andie presses him some more, saying it's too bad his parents couldn't see him "being a star." Pacey gets up and tells her that they both know who the real star of the production is -- that the actors hog the glory, but that the people behind the scenes make things happen, and that no one knows how much work Andie and her crew did. Andie says simply, "They know," and adds that Pacey's sure to get that guaranteed "C" in English now. Pacey tells her that she must be disappointed that he's sunk back into academic mediocrity. Andie tells him that she's not disappointed, and that girls have misguided notions that they can fix guys up. Pacey says that he did have "fixer-upper" written all over him. Andie agrees, in a kind way, and says that she was wrong, and that nothing about him ever needed fixing up, because he's perfect as he is. Sounding hoarse, he says that she is too, and they hug. Aw. She asks him what he thinks her project should be, and that it won't involve him at all. They walk off, chattering in a natural, friendly way, for a change. I'm not a big Andie fan, but that was handled nicely by both actors.
Jen and Henry stroll along elsewhere. Henry says that he can't remember the last time he felt this depressed, and then says, "Oh yeah. Ten minutes ago." Shut up, Henry. Jen tells him that he'll get no sympathy from her. He says he knows, and adds that he thought he saw her smiling a second ago. She laughs and says he's not like other boys. He gives her the stalker staredown. She tells him he should lay off the grand gestures, and says, "You're like the Christo of teenage gestures." Ha! He asks who Christo is, and she tells him he's kind of like a sculptor, and starts to explain about his installations, but then stops and says, "Never mind." (I'd say he's more of a conceptual/performance artist, myself.) She tells him again not to try so hard. He says that it's just because he wants to know her, and to be completely honest with her. She says that no one over the age of six can be completely honest. He says that he can, and she agrees that, although she doesn't know how he does, he has "that thing that children have." He tells her that she has it too, and she says that she doesn't think she ever had it. You know who has "had it"? ME. I've had it with both of you. He says he can teach her to be honest like he is, and tells her to say whatever is in her heard right now. She leans forward and gives him a peck on the mouth, and asks whether that was honest enough. He says it was almost honest enough, and then they kiss for real. I'd like to add that in this scene, Henry's hair was very depressed, and he was wearing this long black overcoat into the pockets of which his hands were thrust so deep that he was kind of hunched over, and all I could think was "Trenchcoat Mafia." So I really hope they're not building to some kind of Very Special Episode in which Jen's four thousandth ambiguous rejection of Henry causes him to lose it and open fire on the school. OR DO I?
Joey walks up the steps at the PB&B as a car, presumably A.J.'s, pulls away. Bessie comes to the door in her pyjamas and says, "Not so fast. A certain boy we both know is waiting to see you." Please not Dawson. Please not Dawson. Please not Dawson. FUCK! It is Dawson. He gets up and apologizes for showing up like this, saying that he knows she just got back from a date. Warningly, she says, "Look, if that's what this is about --" and he says it isn't. She walks toward him, cocking her head suspiciously and asking how he knew about her date. He says that Pacey told him. She sits down and asks him why he's there. He says that he needed to see her: "I suddenly felt very lost." She asks him how he thought he would feel after taking down all his posters and dropping his Film class. He says he didn't think -- he just did it. She asks if, now that he's thought about it, he doesn't know who he is anymore. He says it's something like that. She says she thinks he lost his True North. He nods, and asks her what her True North is. She says she doesn't think she has one. Oh, thank God, because I thought she was going to say it's him. They both lean back in their chairs. Dawson looks up and asks what "that" is. Cut to the non-special non-effects of the fake-o northern lights. Joey says that it's funny: "I have been waiting all night for this, and it happens now, with you." Dawson asks if that's a bad thing. YES. But she says it isn't: "It's just typical." They both look at the sky some more. She says she thought the northern lights would be bluer than that. Cut to Dawson, whose gigantic face clearly states, "It's plenty blue for me. Boo hoo!" Captioning provided by Coca-Cola.
Dude, get those Polaroids off your nipples.
time on DC, Dawson kisses a new girl, Jack ends up in the back of a cop car, Pacey ends up behind bars, and Joey wears a floppy hat.