Previously on Dawson's Creek, Jen gets crowned Homecoming Queen, Joey warns Andie about Rob, Joey tees Rob high and hits him long, Rob fires Joey, and Henry babbles impotently in Jen's general direction.
Capeside High interior. Walking down the stairs, Jen "Breaker One-Nine" Lindley observes acidly to Dawson "Forehead Of Our Discontent" Leery that "genetic inevitability" has caused her to begin "turning into her mother." As an example, she cites the "homecoming-queen debacle," and Dawson asks if Jen's mother "was an HQ," and Jen waves her hand and says, "Miss Cape Cod, same difference," adding that her mother "graduated from the swimsuit competition to a life of cucumber sandwiches, high teas, and Junior League." She continues grousing about the fact that, "despite all [her] best efforts," she too "has reached the very pinnacle of Capeside popular culture." "Very pinnacle"? Dear Jen: Shut up. Signed, Sars, Whose Mother Served As A Junior-League President And Is Still Ten Times The Bad-Ass Feminist You Will Ever Be. Co-signed, The Rest Of The English-Speaking World. Jen does not hear my plea, muttering, "Dawson, I have sold my soul." Dawson more or less tells her to stop obsessing, and Jen keeps griping about getting her mother's character flaws passed down to her, and Dawson says he doesn't think people voted for her because she's like her mom, but rather because she isn't. Jen says that people voted for her "because I'm blonde and I fill out my sweater." Heh. Dawson acknowledges, "That too," but says that the "kids" voted for "an outsider" blah blah blah "a messiah to lead them from the mainstream" fishcakes. Yeah, because high-school kids have no interest in conformity. Mr. "Venus De" Milo interrupts them to introduce a gaggle of women to Jen as "half a century of former homecoming queens"; he does not explain why, if fifty years' worth of HQs are represented, we only see a dozen women standing there, but he does present Jen with a flourish. Jen looks horrified as Miss Constance "What The" Freckling steps forward to introduce herself. After making an exceedingly gauche point of mentioning her Mayflower ancestors and her candy-heiress fortune, the aging Miss Freckling refers to herself as "the oldest living HQ" and teaches Jen the secret HQ handshake, which I guess means that Capeside HQs get free admission to the Rosicrucian temple of their choice. Dawson tries not to laugh. Miss Freckling tells Jen she's "heard all about you." Jen looks at Dawson for help. Dawson smirks. The other HQs moo contentedly and crop the grass.
Credits. A cat undergoing a wash and blow-dry.
I don't think including plastic credit cards with the Sesame Street kiddie kitchen sends a very good message to the country's pre-schoolers.
Fade up outside the Insurance-Fraud Shack (formerly "Bessie's Bastard Barn"). Workmen plane boards in the background as Bessie "Sitter? I Hardly Even Know 'Er!" Potter waves a pot of coffee around and says, "It's all so exciting!" She asks Joey "Pepper" Potter and Pacey "Who's My Girl" Witter, "Now tell me, whose brilliant idea was this again?" Joey and Pacey say at the same time, "Mine." Joey glares at Pacey, who then admits that Joey came up with the idea to turn the Barn / Shack / Double-Wide into a bed-and-breakfast, but Pacey told her "how she could do it for to nothing." Bessie tells Pacey to thank his father for "getting us the help," and Pacey cracks that he finally knows "what the police auxiliary in this town is for." Huh? Bessie bustles off, and Pacey pours a brooding Joey some coffee and asks, "Okay, Potter, what's up?" Joey is worried because the bulk of their insurance money "is gonna be swallowed up in" the B&B project, and she hopes it all works out. She adds that she "can't go back to the marina gig," and excuse me, but since when did a part-time job pumping gas pay the bills for a family of three? Oh, right. It doesn't, and it never has. Anyway, Pacey asks what ever happened with "that creep," and Joey calls it a "long story" and says that Rob went on a date with "somebody that I know," which concerned Joey, so she tried to warn that somebody, so Rob fired her the day. "Eh, what a charmer. So who's the girl?" Pacey asks between swigs of coffee, and Joey looks away and says, "No one you know." Pacey busts on Joey's inability to lie convincingly; Joey smiles, embarrassed, and Pacey asks again, and Joey looks stricken. Pacey guesses that it's Andie. His face falls, and he says, "Oh." Joey says she didn't intend to tell him. Pacey wonders why he feels like he's "been hit with a sledgehammer." After over a year of recapping this show, I can empathize. Joey comforts him by saying that "it won't last," that Andie's "way too smart" to fall for Rob's line, but Pacey stops her and tries to shrug it off with, "Whatever makes her happy, right?" He tosses the rest of his coffee on the grass and walks away. Josh Jackson did a nice job with the whole "Ouch! Um, I mean, I don't care" acting in that scene, I thought.
Dawson arrives home from school to find Gale "The Exiled Hussy" Leery in the kitchen of Estrangement Estates. They hug. Gale says she's really missed Dawson. Sars wonders what the city of Philadelphia puts in the water supply. Gale has a nifty, nicely-conditioned new 'do, but unfortunately the mortician who did her make-up went a little overboard with the "Walnut 'n' Wild" foundation. Dawson makes what-a-surprise noises, and from the doorway Mitch "The Flash" Leery says that Gale has come home for "this year's HQ gala." I would say something about The Flash deserving the Homecoming-Queen crown more than Jen does, but -- oh, will you look at that? I just did. The Flash and his exiled bride share some passive-aggressive banter about the year in which Gale earned her crown by way of greeting each other. Could they just get divorced already? Dawson tells Gale that Jen is the HQ for 1999. Gale joins the entire Capeside senior class, not to mention most of the viewing public, in wondering "how on earth" that happened. Dawson pours himself a drink and says, "I'm interpreting it as a sign of the [sic] Armageddon." Gale looks on the bright side, saying that "at the very least, that should make for a fun time for us." Dawson asks his mother, "Have you developed a lazy eye, or were you actively looking in my direction when you said 'us'?" Wow -- Dawson gets two not-that-bad lines. In a row! Gale needs an escort. Dawson looks at The Flash. The Flash looks down. Gale looks at The Flash. The Flash looks up at Gale, then leaves the kitchen scratching his head. Gale sighs.
The cafeteria. Andie "Dream On" McPhee plops herself down at a table containing Pacey and Joey. Pacey immediately remembers he has French homework to do and gets up. Andie points out that he doesn't take French. "All the more reason" to study, Pacey mumbles, and he takes off. Andie gets all accusatory on Joey: "You told him." Joey shrugs, "[It] slipped out over breakfast." "'Breakfast'?" Andie repeats. Joey says that Pacey has been helping her and Bessie with the addition, and she lays a guilt trip on Andie about "every cent" blah blah blah "financially barely scrape by" blah blah blah tight get-the-hint-country-club-girl smile fishcakes. Andie says that it isn't her fault Joey got fired, and "even if it was [sic], which it wasn't, you can't stay mad at me forever, okay?" Joey says not forever, but for a while. Andie says she doesn't know the status of her relationship with Rob, but she can't help it -- she likes him. Joey says skeptically that Andie will get "a big fat 'I told you so'" from Joey before long.
Jen trucks up the front walk of The White House -- well, a house that looks a lot like it, anyway -- finds a note on the door, and lets herself in. Inside, she finds old-style furniture, sepia-toned photographs, flocked wallpaper, and myriad other decorating fooferaws which she will no doubt interpret as license to treat Miss Freckling with a total lack of consideration. As she eyes a dressmaker's dummy with suspicion, Miss F bustles in with a tea tray and tells Jen to stand up straight. Good advice, that. Miss F asks Jen's opinion on the dress, and tells her that she makes a new one for the gala every year. Jen tries to say that she wanted to talk to Miss F about just that, but Miss F rambles on about remaining modern, lifting the hem, and so on, and Jen starts, "Listen, Mrs. Freckling," and Miss F corrects her, "Miss Freckling. I never married." Just then, they hear a huge crash from above, which Miss F explains as "Hank, my handyboy" who lives down the road and is presently "hanging extra twinkle-bulbs on my roof." Jen smiles politely before trampling Miss F's feelings, saying that she's "been through all this before" with her mother, who kept trying to turn Jen "into a debutante," and "it's just not really my thing." Miss F informs her sternly that she has a responsibility as the newly-crowned HQ to help Miss F host the gala. Jen says she "never asked for" that responsibility, and Miss F remarks balefully that she didn't ask for Jen, either, commenting that most girls "are pleased as punch to be here" and "relish the chance to be role models" -- or, at the very least, have the grace and tact to pretend they do. Miss F busts on Jen for her posture, her rat's-nest hair, and her failure to wear a bra. Go, Miss F. Jen trucks out, shaking her head, and Miss F watches, open-mouthed.
As she exits the front door, the sound of an M-80 going off precedes the undignified descent from the roof of Henry Parker "And The Vicious Circle." Henry, falling: "Aaaaaahhh! [Oof.]" Jen says, "Hank?" and Henry grabs her hand and says, "Quick -- bees, run for your life!" They take off in the direction of a greenhouse.
Pacey and Joey sweep up on the worksite. Joey makes a snide comment about the cops disappearing "when the going gets tough," and Pacey points out that some of them have to get home to their wives and children. He goes on to suggest that the Potters name the addition after him. "Mmm. Keep talking, it'll be a memorial dedication," Joey quips. Pacey calls her "lack of gratefulness [sic]" unappealing. Enter Bessie with the phone; the call is for Joey, and whoever it is "sounds upset." Joey says "hello" a couple of times. On the other end, Andie snuffles, "Joey, please help me," and Joey locks eyes with Pacey and looks frightened.
Cut to the lawn of a well-appointed home. Beside the police SUV, Andie, Pacey, and Joey all crouch on the ground. Joey asks her what happened. Andie doesn't want to talk about it. Okay, sidebar. I never understand why women "don't want to talk about" men trying to rape them. I could see why a woman wouldn't want to relive it if the guy had actually succeeded in raping them, but I for one enjoy spreading the word about any psychotic fuckwit that tries to get a leg over on me without permission, because it makes me feel better and it warns other women as well. One time, a guy pinned me against a wall because I didn't want to fool around with him, and I kicked him in the nuts. Hard. And I told all my friends and a few acquaintances and a total stranger or two about it, too, and I used his name. I don't want to sound judgmental; to each her own, really. I just don't get that, and the same story came up on Party Of Five this week and I didn't get that either. Anyhow, back to your regularly scheduled Maalox. Andie just wants to go home. Pacey says she has to tell them what happened first. Andie moans, "Pacey, please," and Joey asks her if Rob tried to hurt her, and Pacey asks again what Rob did to her. Andie says they went upstairs, and "we were just kissing -- and then he started trying to -" and she doesn't say "have sex with me," but that's what she means. She says she kept saying no, but Rob kept trying, and finally she managed to get away and go downstairs, and she called Joey, and "can we just go now, please?" She stands up, sobbing. Pacey asks grimly, "Where is he?" Andie tells him not to "worry about it," and Joey says they should just go, but Pacey says, "I'm not leaving until I talk to that bastard." He stalks towards the house, from which we can hear the sounds of a kegger, and Andie squawks, "Pacey, no!" but Pacey doesn't stop. Joey looks concerned and gives Andie a comforting hug.
Pacey storms into the house, cuts through the partygoers and out to the back yard, and confronts Rob "Swing" Logan by sucker-punching him and yelling, "What'd you do to her, man?" Rob, restrained by his friends, shouts, "Nothing!" Pacey, also restrained by Rob's friends, wonders why, if he didn't do anything, Andie "is bawling her eyes out" outside. Finally, the friends let go of Rob and Pacey, and Pacey tells Rob to stay away from Andie, and if Rob so much as touches Andie, "I am gonna nail you to a cross." Rob protests again that he didn't even lay a hand on Andie, and Pacey tells him to save it for the judge. Rob tells Pacey to get out. Pacey stomps off; Rob's friends hand him a highball glass, and Rob leers. Everyone who figured out from this scene alone that Andie made up that story to worm her way back into Pacey's good graces, raise your hands. Wow, all of you, huh? Yeah, me too.
A shot of the moon. Loons. Cut to the greenhouse. How long have Jen and Henry spent in there? When they ran in, the sun was still up. Anyhow, Jen comments on how beautiful it is in there, and Henry tells her she's "looking at over two hundred plants." He names some of them for her, reeling off the more "suggestive" plant genera, while totally not writing Abby Morgan a check for the single entendres. Jen makes a dumb joke about blushing, and Henry laughs nervously; Jen tells him to relax, "it'll take a lot more than a flower to offend me." Hey, Jen? Did you mean to imply that you have seen, and done, a lot in your short life? Because you've never pointed that out before, and God knows we wouldn't have gotten dead sick of it if you had. Oh, wait. You did. About a thousand times. And we have. So shut. Up. Jen asks how he learned so much about the flowers, and Henry says Miss F taught him. Jen wonders, "What's the deal with her?" and calls her uptight. Henry says she's "sad" because she's got nobody in her life -- no children, no relatives -- and adds that he's lived door to her most of his life and "I think I'm her best friend." Jen chuckles, "I don't know who to feel sorrier for, you or her." Like, ha ha. Not. Henry tells Jen to fuck right off. Well, okay, he doesn't say anything, but he should have. Jen says that Henry needs to toughen up: "You keep wearing your heart on your sleeve like that, you'll bleed to death." Henry takes Jen on the weekend-stay guilt-trip, commenting on how much Miss F had looked forward to meeting Jen, how he'd told Miss F all about Jen, and how Miss F only has two events on her social calendar every year: the World Orchid Conference, and the HQ gala. Jen thinks this over.
Over at the Shack, Joey tries to convince Andie to go to the police station and file a report. Andie says she can't. Joey says Andie has to. Andie says that "it's not like [Rob] actually did anything." Yeah, no kidding. Joey then invites Andie to stay over: "I really don't think you should be alone tonight." Andie says thanks, but she can't. Pacey gives Andie a long sideways look before telling Joey he thinks he can take care of it. "You sure?" Joey asks. Pacey nods, "Yeah." Joey nods back.
Over at Miss F's, Henry leads Jen in to see Miss F. Some dialogue regarding Miss F's not-turned-on hearing aid, which aimed for "quaint" but landed square in the middle of "stupid." Finally, Henry gets Miss F's attention and says he ran into Jen outside. Nearly landed on her, more like. Anyway, Jen says she knows they got off on the wrong foot and asks if they can start over. "He is persuasive, isn't he?" Miss F says of Henry. Jen says that she's just getting to know him, and Miss F says that if Henry likes Jen, she "can't be all bad." I suppose that depends on your definition of "bad," but in any case, Jen says she "was just thinkin' the same thing about you." The two sit down on a couch and begin planning the party, starting with the entertainment. Miss F lays down a reasonably amusing list of house rules, including "no mimes, no magicians, no Barry Manilow, no Elvis look-alikes, no motivational speakers, no comedy troupes, no break-dancing, no gangster [sic] rap, no animal tricks," but the writers have to go and ruin it with a "joke" implying that Miss F has never heard of Letterman. Jen asks how a string quartet strikes Miss F, and Miss F chirps, "Perfect!" and Jen offers to "split the difference." She adds that, although "he doesn't know it yet," Henry will go as her date. Jen draws Henry's arm around her shoulders as she speaks; Henry looks delighted.
Pacey's boat. Andie calls the "True Love" nameplate "ironic." Pacey wraps Andie in a blanket and mutters that, since true love doesn't exist, he thought he'd "create it for" himself. Andie asks, in the bitchy tone I usually reserve for "sulking out" the Biscuit in front of other people, "Why did you bring me here?" Pacey thought Andie wanted to go someplace quiet. "There's lots of quiet places, Pacey," Andie says snippily. Pacey says he guesses so. They both sit, and Pacey says he supposes he wanted to show Andie "that I've been okay since we ended things," that he's found a way to turn his pain into "something beautiful." "I haven't, Pacey," Andie quavers. "I'm not over you." Pacey addresses her as "McPhee," and she says she's waited so long just to hear him call her by her last name; Pacey warns her away from the subject, saying she's gone "through a lot tonight." Andie says that "if it took what happened tonight to bring us together, then so be it," but Pacey corrects her, "We're not together. I mean, I'm here for you, but we're not together." Andie tries to parlay a play on the word "together" into a kiss, and kisses him. Pacey looks put off, and he stops her. She apologizes in a cold tone. Pacey says that they can't, "for so many reasons," and he doesn't mention her sawtooth bangs as a reason, but I bet they rank high on the list. Andie tries again to use semantics as bait, saying that she isn't asking what they can do, but what Pacey wants to do. Pacey dodges this attempt also: "I want to know that you're okay. That's all that matters to me now." "That's a shame, because you still matter to me in every way," Andie says sternly. "I want to be with you, Pacey," she goes on, as Pacey looks down and tries not to get emotional, and he says that she might feel that way now, but she'll probably feel differently tomorrow. Andie: "I'm not talking about tomorrow, I'm talking about right now, tonight, you and me together, under the stars, just like it used to be. I'm talking about a kiss. That's all I'm asking. Don't you want to?" Pacey fixes her with a lovelorn gaze and strokes her face, and then they kiss as an ovary wails in the background. Fade to black.
Commercial break, during which I think we can safely assume that Pacey peels off his Bad Idea Jeans and he and Andie have sex. I can't say I've never "bought tickets for the reunion tour" myself, but it never ends well for anyone.
I don't like Cat Stevens, camping, or Timberland gear, but for some reason I really dig that commercial.
Fade up the morning. Pacey drops Andie at McPhee Manor. Andie thanks Pacey for "taking care of" her. Oh, is that what the kids call it these days? Pacey says, "Right back at ya, Andie." Andie babbles about "whatever did or did not happen" the night before. Pacey calls her on the babbling. Andie babbles more. Pacey again calls her on the babbling. Anyway, long story short, Andie makes reference to what may happen as a result of their -- whatever-ing and asks if Pacey "is feeling what I'm feeling," and he says, "I am," and she says that makes her "so happy," and she kisses him as he looks grave, and she unbuckles her safety belt and perks out of the car and into the house. Pacey watches her go and closes his eyes in pain. He looks pretty cute in this scene.
The Shack. Rob on the front porch. Joey: "Didn't you read the sign? No known sex offenders within two hundred yards of my property." Sars: "Old -- Old Joey? Is that -- could it be -- you?" Joey preparing to slam the door on Rob; Rob catching the door and protesting, "I didn't do it!" Joey setting her jaw and telling him his delivery needs work: "I suggest a less forceful interpretation." Preparation For Door Slammage Number Two, followed by Catching Of Mid-Slam Door Number Two, and by Rob grabbing Joey, then immediately backing off when he sees the look of combined terror and fury on her face. Rob: "Tell me -- tell me that she hasn't gone to the police." Joey telling Rob that if he touches her again, she'll scream; Joey referring to "William Kennedy Smith." Sars wondering why the writers couldn't have found a less dated rapist reference, like, say, Alex Kelly, on whom they've obviously modeled Rob in the first place. Rob saying Andie led him on and that when they started kissing, Andie tweaked. I don't like Rob, but he's got history on his side. Alas, he's got it against him too, and Joey points this out; he admits that he doesn't have much credibility in this area, but says there's a difference between sexual harassment and -- Joey finishes for him, "Sexual assault?" Then she says he can draw the line wherever he likes, but both are against the law. She gears up for the third slam attempt, and Rob grabs her arm again; she stiffens. Awkward silence. Rob fumes, "I've never forced myself on anyone." Joey just wants to get rid off him, and she bites off, "If you say so." Rob brings up Andie's history of mental illness as a possible reason, and Joey says she'll pretend she didn't hear that, goes inside, and finally, on the fourth try, succeeds in slamming the door on a still-protesting Rob, who is yelling that he doesn't understand why else Andie would accuse him falsely. Ask the writers, Rob. But don't use any big words. Joey fumes some more.
The gala. Miss F looks around and says "splendid" a couple of times. Her dress turned out nicely. Cut to the Leery table, and Dawson -- who, I suddenly and blissfully realize, we've barely seen this episode -- wonders aloud "where Jen is." Gale whispers that a couple she hates is approaching; Dawson observes that he hates them too. The Leerys head to the bar, only to get cut off, and Hateful Lady greets Gale with, "I heard all about Philadelphia." Gale says fakely, "I'm sure you did," and tries to excuse herself and Dawson to get a drink, but Hateful Lady and her husband basically out Gale: it turns out Gale got sacked by the network for looking too old. Gale looks crushed. Dawson glares at the Hatefuls. As the couple retreats, Dawson asks Gale, "Mom, is there something you want to tell me?" but Gale gets distracted by...
...the entrance of Jen, attired in a rag-bag outfit from the Gypsies, Tramps And Thieves clothing line (tm Wing Chun), and Henry, on Jen's arm and kitted out in an ill-fitting ruffled tuxedo and eye makeup. Miss F rips on Jen for her tardiness, fulminates that the entertainment still hasn't arrived, and notes that "that wardrobe is far from appropriate." She demands that they go home and change, and guilt-trips Henry for joining Jen in making the event "into a travesty." Jen tells Miss F to relax and confesses that she put Henry up to it, and adds that Miss F hasn't seen anything yet, and in the background we hear a deep voice announce, "I swear, it's hotter than a French prostitute in this dress." Enter the entertainment. Jen and Henry smirk as a brace of drag queens sashays in the front door. Good thing drag queens didn't lose their ability to shock anyone with a pulse sometime around 1996. Oh, wait. They did. And by the way, Jen? When you hired the drag queens, did you check to make sure that none of them had female secondary-sex characteristics? Because, by definition, they don't, and a couple of the ones you signed don't have Adam's apples. Just thought I'd pass that along. The girls strike poses and look at Miss F, who says she needs "to sit down."
McPhee Manor kitchen. Joey asks if Andie has told her dad what happened with Rob. Andie says no, she didn't want to upset him, and "it's not like anything cataclysmic happened." "Cataclysmic"? Joey says that Rob could have hurt Andie; Andie says she knows, but maybe she overreacted. Joey asks if Andie thinks she overreacted. "Well, I didn't cry wolf, if that's what you're saying," Andie snaps, and Joey says she isn't saying that at all. "Then what are you saying?" Andie demands, in the same overly snotty tone she's used throughout the episode. Joey stares at her in disbelief before picking up the cutting board and saying, "I have to tell you something." Andie looks scared: "What?" Joey tells Andie about Rob's visit, and Andie gets defensive and accuses Joey of coming over to bust her for lying: "You of all people are gonna believe that scum." Joey, again disbelieving: "I didn't say I believed him!" "No? You just stopped by for a friendly little chat," Andie sneers. I would have rolled my eyes and left Andie to stew in it at that point, but Joey protests that she stopped by to make sure they'd done the right thing by not reporting Rob the night before. Joey adds that she should have turned him in herself just for the way he acted towards her at the marina: "Maybe I could have prevented this whole thing." Andie tosses her head and says nothing. "Your water's boiling," Joey says, and Andie tends her pasta and says, "Listen, Joey -- maybe all of this happened for a reason. I mean, maybe something good came out of it." Joey, baffled: "What do you mean?" Andie informs Joey with more than a little self-satisfaction that "as of last night, Pacey and I are back together." As I wait for Nurse Ratched to come to the aid of all of us in the viewing audience, Andie goes on to say that she's happy, and now "everything can just go back to the way it was." She shrugs. Joey stares at her, looking weirded out and disappointed at the same time, but she tries to smile encouragingly. Andie stirs the noodles as Joey frowns.
Jen introduces the drag queens, who sass out on stage and proceed to do the feeblest lip-synch of "It's Raining Men" in the history of transvestitism. Miss F looks faint. Dawson smiles. Gale, God bless her, rolls her eyes. Henry thinks he has "the hots for" one of the trannies. Jen smiles, all proud of her bad self, and the song drowns out the sound of Grams twirling in her grave, even though she hasn't died yet, but Jen's dreadful manners would probably kill her. Henry says Miss F will kill him. Jen says she thinks that, deep down, Miss F "gets it." She pontificates on the fact that homecoming queens and drag queens both dress up and pretend to be "something they're not -- playing a role." She drags Henry out on the dance floor, "in the hopes of performing a miracle and awakening the dead." Because anyone who doesn't see the world Jen's way is, metaphorically speaking, a corpse -- or, as I like to call it, "polite." Old men boogie down with the trannies. Miss F secretly taps her foot. I wish she'd tap it in Jen's ass. Hard.
Cut to Andie, berating Joey for going behind her back: "I thought you were supposed to be my friend." Joey makes a "whatever" face and says, "I am, Andie." Andie accuses Joey of going to Pacey and sabotaging "everything." Joey doesn't know what she means, since she hasn't even spoken to Pacey since the Rob incident. Andie asks bitterly, "And I'm supposed to believe that?" "It's the truth!" Joey says. Andie wonders why "one minute we're together, and the he never wants to see me again." Sars wonders how Andie derived either of those conclusions from the things Pacey said. Joey asks when this happened, and Andie says, "Tonight, an hour ago -- right after you went and told him that I made up the entire story about Rob just to get him back." Joey looks flabbergasted before admitting that the possibility did cross her mind, but "I didn't believe it, not for a minute!" Andie bitches, "Is that right?" Joey sputters that she knows Andie, and she knows Andie would never do anything "so hurtful and, and plainly wrong." Andie looks into the distance; her eyes fill with tears, and she turns away from Joey. Joey prods her, and Andie snaps that Joey doesn't know her: "You don't know what I'm capable of when I set my sights on something." Well, at the very least, she knows you're capable of giving yourself awful haircuts and acting like a right bitch when people try to help you. ["I bet she could even rip a long evening gown into a smart little minidress if she were to, say, step on the hem with her heel. She might even enjoy a Mento in celebration of her resourcefulness." -- Wing Chun] Anyhow. Joey tells her firmly, "Andie, you're a stubborn and determined person -- there's nothing wrong with that." Andie says no, it's more than that; she gets blinders on when she wants something, and everything else "just gets -- blocked out somehow." Joey asks suspiciously what she means. Andie says, "I'm talking about Pacey. I love him and I need him. And the truth is -- I don't know what the truth is anymore." Joey looks thoughtful; whether she has figured out that Andie lied about Rob, or whether she just feels sorry for Andie, or both, I can't tell, but as a Lilithite begins keening, she sits down beside Andie and hugs her shoulders.
Non-touching vignette montage: Jen watches Miss F, in tiara, bonding with the drag queens; Henry wanders on the waterfront, looking rather handsome; Gale unburdens herself to The Flash; Pacey vigorously sands "True Love" (no comment); back to Joey comforting Andie as Andie snuffles and schemes.