Previously on Dark Angel: Tinga got turned into a pickle-in-a-bag. Max got caught crying. Zack busted up Max and Logan's chubby-making session. Lydecker killed Sandoval with the left-over props from Batteries Not Included. Logan started walking, with the help of the Creepy Camera Man's legs. Nana Visitor took down The Weakest Link host in a bitch test. And I got stuck writing the season finale. Natch.
Oh my god. Jessica Alba's brother is guest-starring in this episode. How nepostistically nauseating. But I've been hearing complaints that I'm too down on our little Jessica. Purportedly I think she's ass and, thus, give her no credit for her supposed "skills improvement." So, since it's the season finale and I don't have to watch this crap for many moons I, Lulu Bates, do solemnly swear to give more credit to Jessica Alba for her (ahem) improved acting.
So to start the season finale, we get a funky aerial shot of Max holding Tinga's dead -- yes, dead -- body. No matter what the debate in the forums may lead you to believe, Tinga is dead. We get one good actor on the show, and they kill her off. Damn you, Powers That Be! Damn you! (I'm standing on my desk and shaking my fist as I write this.) So Max is cuddling Tinga's unfortunately deceased body, and they are in the middle of a circle of grumpy-looking men with big scary guns, and Lydecker is there looking horrified at Tinga's death. He calls out Max's name, which seems like a pretty stupid thing to do, and yet he looks surprised that she freaks when she sees him and launches her twig-like body fist-first at his head. She, of course, gets zapped immediately by the mazillion soldiers that are in the room. She twitches for awhile and then falls unconscious. You know, Jessica Alba's pretty good at twitching, seizing, and generally shaking uncontrollably. I wonder how her acting coach trained her for that? "Okay, Jessica, darling, let's try that again. This time, I'll turn the voltage up to 300. That should really get you twitching." At any rate, she's a heck of a twitcher.
One of Madame X's cronies reports that Lydecker was tracking Max, and she led him to the facility where they were keeping Tinga. Madame X, who I am going to call Nana Visitor because I want to, tells the soldier to capture the X5 (Max) and arrest Lydecker. The soldier is all, "What you talking 'bout Willis?" Nana Visitor informs him that Lydecker is being charged with the murder of Agent Sandoval and that he is to arrest Lydecker. The soldier heads inside and tells Lydecker that he isn't supposed to be there, and that he needs to leave posthaste. Lydecker tells all but two of his men to move out, and then he shoots Nana Visitor's soldiers in the head. He tells his soldiers that he has no idea what's going on, but he's aiming to find out. If neither of them has the stomach for it, now's the time to leave. Wouldn't the time to leave be before he killed his boss's soldiers? Whatever -- that speech was ripped straight from a John Wayne film where there's an evil sheriff and a rough-and-tumble yet morally superior cowboy who has to come save the townsfolk. Both soldiers stay, of course. All the while Max is lying unconscious on the floor. And I have to hand it to her, she's pretty good at lying there and not moving. Lydecker has the soldiers put her in the back of the van, and they drive around trying to decide what to do.
Back at Evil Empire HQ, Nana Visitor is telling Brinn that Tinga was undergoing treatment for a genetic anomaly that they discovered when they first recaptured her. But, Lydecker's interference killed her. Why that…that big fat liar! I can't believe she'd lie! She must be a bad bad person with only her own best interests in mind. Brinn the Brainwashed stands there, blithely accepting everything that her boss lady says. Here's a question that I know I am going to regret asking: If you were, say, creating a whole passel of genetically-engineered super-soldiers, wouldn't you want them to have the slightest bit of free will, independent thinking, and/or ability to recognize a whole bunch of hooey when it's shoved in their face? No? Me neither. I like 'em strong and stupid. Like my boys. Hi! I'm heterosexual! That will be important later. It's the only reason I mention it. Back to the story. Nana Visitor is consoling Brinn on the loss of her sister like the evil two-faced beeyatch that she is when a soldier comes in to report that they lost Lydecker. He fled the scene with Max before he could be arrested. Nana damn near throws a clot and snarls that they need to find him. Find him now, via the South African track team. Er, rather, the South African team that's tracking Max. Brinn is nominated to head up the recon team ('cause there were a lot of other candidates). Max is to be brought in alive, and Lydecker? Well, Lydecker is the proverbial toaster cake as far as Nana's concerned. Oh, the phone's ringing. It's my mother, pointing out that Nana could permanently damage her eyes with all the eye-rolling in this scene! They might even stick like that! That could be you! Note to self: Unplug phone. Now.
Zack is lurking around the Halls of Justice, helping himself to Logan's cache of medical supplies. Oh, right, Zack got shot in the last episode. I forgot to mention that. So Zack's bleeding on the carpet, and Logan is trying not to let on that he's really anal-retentive, but his eye keeps twitching, and he finally gives up on trying to look manly in front of Zack and runs (Yes, runs! He's on his feet again!) for the Fantastick, paper towels, and hand-held steam cleaner. Oh, the cell phone's ringing. It's my grandmother, mentioning that blood stains are IMPOSSIBLE to get out of white carpeting! And do I remember the time I made the mistake of bleeding on the carpet! When I was seven! Had to replace the whole carpet! Remember! I toss the phone out the window and return to the "plot." Zack is explaining what went wrong with their mission. Seems they went in and got surrounded. Logan brats that he told Zack that the minute he saw them coming. Why didn't Zack get her out of there? Zack socks him one and says that he tried to get to her, but shut up anyway, Logan. Where was Hot Wheels while Zack was getting shot? Huh? He was hiding out in the posh penthouse, that's where. Logan opines that they never should have gone in. Um, Logan? You didn't go in. So shut up, whiner. Zack points out that they had to get Tinga. And Logan points out that now Lydecker has Max. I point out that they're giving me a headache the size of a toaster oven. Logan can't help but slip in one last whine about how they have to get her back. Um, Logan? Duh. She's the star of the show, and you just got approved for a second season. So I don't want to hear any of this "Is she dead?" crap, because it's just annoyingly non-nerve non-wracking when you KNOW she's alive and well and primping for the season. Harumph. Logan and Zack brainstorm about what Lydecker could be doing with Max. Well, whatever they're doing, they're doing it at a motel called the Yum-Yum Tree. Ew, that's her dad.
So Lydecker is paying off the crusty-looking concierge. No, not concierge -- what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, yes, extra-who-needs-to-get-back-to-his-day-job-really- quickly. That's the one. Lydecker's handing the guy bills until the guy shuts up. Hey, José! I'll shut up if you hand me bills. Really! Lydecker's men take the unconscious Max out of the van. The extra-who-needs-to-get-back-to-his-day-job-really-quickly raises an eyebrow, and Lydecker hands him another bill. Hey, I look askance at this show all the time -- my eyebrow is permanently raised. Pay me! Oh, fine, don't.
Nana's making travel plans to return to Manticore. She's not really dressed for Wyoming, but maybe the townsfolk will run her out on a rail, big-city well-heeled hussy that she is. Hee, that'd be funny. I think my phone's ringing again, but, no, it's hers. Lydecker's on the line, and he's pissed. And I don't blame him. He wants to know what Nana's going to say when the Committee finds out she's killing X5s. She says that they won't find out, because there's a team tracking him right now so he is, more or less, dead. He looks perturbed by this revelation. And he decides to drown his troubles in beer. Ah, yes -- there's not much a bottle of Satan's Little Helper won't cure. So Lydecker is getting saucy on the sofa in the hotel room while Max lies unconscious on the bed. She is so talented. As she starts to come to, Lydecker starts to hallucinate and flashback. But he doesn't flashback in black-and-white like all the kids do, oh no; they save the color for the big cheeses. He's remembering and muttering about one time when Max was sick as a child and he stayed with her in the infirmary. He knew he shouldn't have played favorites, but he just couldn't help himself 'cause, well, she's his favorite. He wanted to take her away from it all (and Lord knows the girl could use some Calgon). He wanted take her somewhere safe where they couldn't do anything to her. Dude's loaded. You can tell, because the camera is out of focus and keeps swaying back and forth and back and forth. It's pretty nauseating. Dear director: If I wanted the effects of drunkenness, I would just get drunk. Gimlet. Whisky. Whatever. Let's make a deal: If I promise to stay tanked for the entirety of season, will you lay off the sick-making camera work? Yes? Thank you. Love, Lulu Bates.
Anyway, Max is waking up, and she realizes that something is really wrong. She looks at Lydecker, realizes what he's saying, notices that she's handcuffed to the bed, and starts to look like a flogged log. She's really good when she's asleep, though! Lydecker tells her that the van is tracking her, but he won't let them take her. He pulls out a gun and says that he won't let them have her. He won't let them take his beautiful, beautiful little girl away. I mean, his dream, his beautiful, beautiful dream. Max kicks the gun out of his hand, and he's too drunk to respond. She asks him why he killed Tinga. He shoots Max a severe look of disdain and asks if she really thinks he could do that to any of his kids? Max snorts, and Lydecker starts a rant with no visible end in sight. I'll sum up: Lydecker had a dream. And that dream was a world where a small group of elite super-soldiers could sabotage, rape, pillage, plunder, and assassinate while the rest of the world sat on their duffs. Lydecker had a dream, and that dream was Manticore. And now Nana is trying to take it all away from him. She murdered Tinga. She's evil. And she has evil hair. Max looks sleepy. Actually, Max looks pretty Glamour Shots for being knocked out, drugged, and held hostage in a flea-bag motel. Gotta love pink backlighting. It does a lot for a girl. Which is why I have my entire apartment done up with it. Max convinces him to let her go. Which he does, just before Brinn and the troops rush in. Brinn knocks out the extra with an extreme reverse high kick. Maybe her mom was a Rockette. Really. I watched it three times. Funniest scene of the whole show.
Meanwhile, Zack and Logan work out a plan of action which involves Zack doing everything and Logan nodding in approval. Zack called two other X5s, Krit and Syl, and they came to help find Max. Okay, okay, I've been trying to avoid asking questions, but how the hell did those X5s get there so quickly? Do they all live in the greater Seattle area or something? Do they all hang out in Reston and Fife? I don't get it. And, since I'm on this here pedestal already, where the hell did the junior X5s get their names? We know they named themselves, so where did the names Krit and Syl come from? Are they off a box of laxatives they had lying around the Manticore compound or something? Oh, whatever. So as the X5s prepare themselves for the rescue mission, Max crashes through the door of their secret hideout in a big ol Humvee. Because doors are not in any way important to keeping secret locations secret. She jumps out of the car and says hello to everyone and gives a wave of the tongue to Logan, who's just standing around because he can. She walks back to the car and pulls out Lydecker. The X5s stare in horror and amazement that Max brought the fox into the chicken coop, and then Lydecker swears he doesn't want KFC for dinner, he wants Chinese. Everyone's suspicious except Max, who is just buying it all. And I'm just buying it all because it's late, I'm tired, and, as mentioned above, I don't have to watch this crap for a long time. But did you notice how I didn't mention that Max just showed up at a completely random location? How she just appeared at this garage/warehouse? Note that I did not ask how the hell she could have known they were there? Did you notice? I thought you did.
So after the commercials, Max is trying to convince the other X5s that RC is way better than Pepsi. Zack totally disagrees and points out that they've been surviving all this time by aligning themselves only with major-market players, and that small-share soda upstarts just aren't worth the energy. Syl, however, agrees with Max; RC's monarchical taste really is just plain better than plain old plebeian Pepsi. All right, never mind; they weren't really talking about pop. They were talking about whether or not they should storm the walls of Manticore. Zack says no, they've survived by (ahem) keeping a low profile. Syl and Max think they should do it. Jessica Alba's little brother says nothing. Which is good, because acting while talking is apparently a difficult task for the Albas. The wackiest things are genetic, no? Max talks them into it and even convinces them that Lydecker wants to help. Seems that his imminent assassination and nasty hangover is making him rather amenable to resolving the plight of the X5s. He's willing to help them bring down Manticore, because the enemy of his enemy is his friend. He taught them that. Successories should really put Lydecker on the payroll. Zack tells him to shut up, and for once Zack and I agree. But then he wants to know what will stop the enemy of his enemy from starting over. And I want to know what the enemy of enemy is doing to my head. Shut! Up! All of you! Lydecker suggests that they blow up the DNA lab, because when the X5s escaped, Manticore almost got shut down, so if the lab gets blown up, the Powers That Be are sure to shut the place down. Besides, Lydecker reminds them, he knows the facility and its defensive capabilities like the back of his hand. The X5s form a scrum and decide it's worth the risk. They turn to Lydecker, and Zack points out that if he so much as breathes wrong they'll be four people to take him out. At that Logan pipes up, "Five," and everyone turns to look at him. "You know, five. There would be, you know, five people to take him out. You know, if he even so much as breathed wrong. You know, me. I could take him out. Really, I could." The X5s all roll their eyes, and Syl flashes Max a your-boyfriend-is-so-embarrassing look. They turn back to their strategizing, 'cause if you forgot, they're going to take out the DNA lab in the hopes of issuing Manticore and that bitch who killed Tinga a knock-out punch on her purported glass chin. Ah, boxing metaphors. Gotta love 'em.
The X5s put their plan into action. First things first, take out the South African Track Team. The camera flashes to the track team inside the van, getting a hit on Max's implant. She's close. There's a knock on the door. It's her. She was that close! What a hoot! She and her brother commandeer the vehicle for use as a base of operations. I wonder if they got one of those "If The Van's A-Rockin' Don't Come A-Knockin'" bumper stickers. You know, just to blend in with the neighbors in Renton.
on the agenda, the X5s are trying to nail down their plan of attack. Lydecker says that the majority of X Series are deployed around the globe, and there's just a small contingent of X5s on site. Syl points out that they still have no way to get in to the building, and that Lydecker's access has most likely been revoked. Lydecker says he thought of that, so he has to meet with an old friend to get more details about what's going on. Lydecker continues, "If you don't trust me…" "That's a given!" interrupts Jessica Alba's brother with his one and only line for the entire episode, and wasn't it well enunciated? Anyway, Max accompanies Lydecker, because, um, they needed some time alone to talk about, um, last night. Ew. They arrange to meet outside a strip club, because it's a suburb of Seattle and there's nothing but nudie bars and taboo videos for miles. Really! As they wait for the old friend to show up, Max looks uncomfortable and finally says, "About last night…" Lydecker asks her to please not remind him, he still feels sick. She agrees with that assessment of the experience, and adds that she was convinced he was about to tell her that he was her father. She says that it would have been a sick, sad cliché if it had been true. Oh Max, I didn't know you read the forums! Lydecker says that he wouldn't have presumed to pollute the gene pool. Which would have been funny, but his delivery of the line was ass. He then goes on to tell Max that she, in fact, was "inspired" by his murdered wife's image. She has his wife's eyes. He then shoots her such a skeevy look that she puts him in a stranglehold and tells him she'll kill him if he ever looks at her like that again. Wow, I wish I could do that. There be some slimy-ass boys in the Big Apple. Anyway. Lydecker agrees to the terms of the contract and, at that moment, espies his friend McGinnis making his way out of the strip club. He knocks him against the car, aims a gun at his head, and gets him to talk. Well, he doesn't get him to talk much before knocking him out and shoving him in the trunk of some random car. Whose car is that? Lydecker ponders this mystery over a Swiss Miss Snack Pack and a spoon that he pulls out of his pocket. Mmm, pudding. Never a bad time for a snack in my book either.
Logan and Lydecker are working on something in the van when Lydecker decides it's time that he had a little talk with his daughter's boyfriend. Logan, he says, I remember you from the genetic conference. I remember your heroic efforts in trying to save the hostages. I remember all you did, but now I realize it was all just a feeble attempt to get in my little girl's pants. Do you love her? You'd better love her. Logan looks uncomfortable, and Lydecker shoots him a look designed to quash any and all, um, calls to action and goes out to round up the X5s to get ready to go. The X5s have a question for him. They want to know who killed Tinga. He tells them it was Nana Visitor. They look upset. But they look even more upset when a raven flies into their secret warehouse. Wow, it's The Crow. Embarrassing secret time: I actually sat through The Crow 2. Why? Because Vincent Perez was starring in it. Now, I'm not one for idle fan worship, but I wouldn't kick Vincent Perez out of bed for eating crackers. Hell, I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating an entire crumb cake. He's the hottest man on the entire planet. Ever. Um, except for you, sweetie. Baby? Hi, honey! Don't worry! I'll probably never meet Vincent Perez. And even if I did, I wouldn't necessarily toss you over for him. Um, sweetie? Honey? Hmm. Note to self: Bring home pint of Chubby Hubby. Stat. Anyway, the X5s flashback to a tragic archery accident at Camp Manticore that involved a crow and a mighty bad shot on the part of a young X5. They look upset, but sally forth as is their wont. Well, they sally forth except for Max, who sallies out the door with Logan in tow.
Max takes Logan up to the Space Needle for one of those relationship talks. Logan sure looks nervous. Not that Max cares, as she launches into a soliloquy about how she likes to go up to the Needle to look down on people with problems. They talk about family and how Logan knows not to get in between her and her family. Then Max says that he's family as much as anyone else, but they won't be able to be much of anything if Manticore is still looking for her. Logan agrees, but like he said, he knows enough not to argue with her. And besides, guys will agree with anything if it means getting the girl. It's one of those sad facts of life.
The X5s make final arrangements for taking Manticore. Logan's rigged the security cameras to loop fake footage into the surveillance system. He'll be able to see the real feed so he can direct them, but the guards won't see anything. He is so useful to have around. ["Especially since he's apparently seen Speed several times." -- Sars] As the X5s head out, Lydecker hands Zack some pudding. It's his ticket into the DNA lab. Okay. Lydecker's lost it. Max leads Logan on some more, and then the X5s head out. Manticore looms over them; they look very serious in their camo. Umm. All right, I give. Where'd they get the camo? Street clothes just wouldn't work? Did they put it on their to-do list? Did they pick up some army rations too? Mmm, dehydrated chicken and dumplings. Can you ask for more than that? No, I don't think you can.
The X5s eye up the Manticore compound. They have no fear. They're well trained. They're super-soldiers. They jump over the fence like little yo-yos. Boing! The second they set foot in Manticore territory, they start flashing back. I'll spare you the details. It's all the exact same freaking flashbacks we've seen all season. Fear and loathing in military school. X5s had a crappy childhood. Got it? Good. Max and Zack bust into the compound and head for the DNA lab. They flashback, they walk, they flashback, they run. It's really quite fascinating. When they get to the DNA lab, Zack pulls out the pudding pack. The secret prize inside? It's McGinnis's eyeball. They use it to gain access to the lab. And here's a question I am not going to ask: Why would McGinnis, the head of the South African Track Team, have access to the most secret and high-level part of Manticore? Nope, not going to ask it. As Zack and Max walk around the lab, they are startled to see its distinctly late millennial design and startling use of glass and lighting. Come on, guys, you know good lighting makes all the difference in designing a room. They pick out their bar codes from those decorating the walls, set the charges, and bust a move.
Nana has taken McGinnis in for questioning. He is distinctly sans eyeball and asking for something for the pain. Nana says no, not until you tell me exactly where the Borg's ship is located. Er, rather, not until he recreates his encounter with Lydecker. He tells her everything he knows, which isn't much. But he does mention that Lydecker said that Nana's been killing X5s. She looks mad, but her evil grimace is interrupted by a phone call. She hangs up and asks McGinnis if it's possible that his eye went for a walk to the DNA lab at Manticore?
Back at Manticore, Max and Zack slowly leave the facility. Um, guys? Hurry ass up.
Nana calls Brinn into her office. She's slowly piecing together the events of the past hour; she knows about the fake feed, and she knows the DNA lab is rigged with explosives. She's bumming, but luckily she has Brinn to bitch out. She sends Brinn to deactivate the charges before it's too late. Nana, haven't you worked in enough television dramas to realize that this is the season finale and, thus, something dramatic such as the destruction of the DNA lab is completely inevitable and you shouldn't bother to look surprised or try very hard to prevent it? Please make a note of that. The alarm at Manticore goes off, and Lydecker moves the X5s out. Soldiers running, X5s killing, and, oh no, there's been a change in deployment and a troop of X7s is still there. They're younger, faster, and smarter than the X5s. And they're ready to kill, but I guess we all know that since we've all seen the previews. Maybe one of us should have told Lydecker? Eh. Lydecker locks down the X7s' doors, but that doesn't perturb them much. They pick up a cot and start ramming the door down. Meanwhile, Krit and Syl, who have done nothing thus far, shoot some soldiers just to make themselves useful. Lydecker tells Max that Brinn is heading for the lab. Max won't let her "take one for old Manticore," so she heads back to stop her. She does. And handcuffs her to a window. And engages in a brief philosophical repartee that involves an analysis of self and identity. Too bad Brinn didn't get a chance to kick her ass again. Oh well, there's always season. When Max and Zack are clear, Lydecker is supposed to detonate the bombs, but he can't do it. It's his dream. Logan holds a gun to his head. And he pushes the button. I guess that'll be good later at the inquest, you know, if he wants his job back -- when they ask if anyone held a gun up to his head, he can say yes, yes they did. Anyway, all that evil Manticore research goes up in flames. The X5s head out some more, not realizing that the X7s are right on their tails.
Max and Zack head separately into the woods. They're shaking their little cabooses when Max suddenly realizes she's not alone -- she's confronting herself. Damn existentialist moments sneak up on you at the darndest times. Max freezes when she's confronted by Mini-Max. She asks herself is she knows who she is. Without thinking twice, Mini-Max fires her gun straight at Max. Yeah, philosophical discussions piss me off too.
After the commercial, the scene cuts back to before a shot is fired. Max knocks the gun out of Mini-Max's hand. They fighty fight for awhile, and they're encumbered by bad editing, but Max eventually overpowers herself and breaks her arm. Zack comes up and grabs her, and they run off to the van and join up with Krit, Syl, Logan, and Lydecker. They can't believe they did it. They took down Manticore! The bad editing makes me suspicious, but I'm willing to suspend my disbelief for now. No, really, I am. They head back to Seattle. Okay, wait. Wasn't Manticore in Wyoming? Am I all confused again? José? Care to clear this up? Any of you forum posters able to explain this one? Hmm. Anyway, they go to their little bar to celebrate their victory. Max's hair looks clean and curly while she and Original Cindy play foosball. But in the scene when she heads to the bar for a pitcher of beer, her hair is greasy again. There must be some nasty air in that bar. Sketch is hitting on Syl. Lydecker's drinking water and reading a book. Jessica Alba's brother is talking to Logan. Aw, introducing the family to the fiancé. And -- what? Herbal and Zack talking about the meaning of life? This is so stupid that it had better be a dream sequence. Max comes up to Logan and says she wants to get out of there. They do it. It's all dimly lit and brief skin shots and, and, well, sorry, this girl reporter gets embarrassed at the slightest thing and had to leave the room. Maybe somebody from the forums will recap that scene. I can tell you that Max does not ask, "Is that a exoskeleton in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" And I can also say that there's some serious coitus interruptus when that damn crow flies in and interrupts their horizontal hokey-pokey. Logan looks at his hand, and it's covered with blood. And I will avoid that one like a good girl should. Max starts to freak out. What's going on?
The tape rewinds to the scene of the shooting. Mini-Max really took her out. She's been shot. Logan, on the other side of the walkie-talkie, realizes something's wrong. He heads out of the van. Meanwhile, Zack is surrounded by those rambunctious X7s. Those pesky kids! Logan finds Max in the woods. She's dying. He swoops her up in his arms, and they share a moment. She wants to tell him something, but she's dying. By the way, I sincerely hope the edge of your seat is comfortable. 'Cause I'm sure you're all perched there, dying to know if Max dies or not. 'Cause she's not the star of the show or anything. And the show didn't just get picked up for a second season. Nope, nothing like that. Back to the action, where Max says she should have told Logan something a long time ago, but she dies before she can tell him what it is. He is distraught. By the way, Max has some lovely blue eyeshadow on during this scene. It's nice to see that the army cares about the appearance of their little soldiers. So, Max is dead. Lydecker rushes up and sees Logan holding her body and rocking back and forth. He says that Logan has to let her go, she's gone. Logan is not listening so well right now, so Lydecker decks him and carts him back to the van. He informs Krit and Syl that Max is "K.I.A.," which I gather means "Kooky Intrepid Afghan."
Max is rushed into the emergency room at Manticore. Her heart has stopped. They need to crack her ribcage open in order to use the internal heart paddles. Have I mentioned that Max is really good at lying there and looking dead? Talented actress. Every time they shock her, she gets a flashback, not of evil Camp Manticore footage, but of happy times: making out with Logan, hanging out with OC, making out with Logan, that sort of thing. Zack gets brought into the ER and sees that Max is faring poorly. He hears what the doctor says about her ventricle being shredded. Then he hears Nana say that as long as no other organs were injured, they should prepare her for harvesting. Nasty bitch, ain't she? Zack freaks out, tears off his restraints, kills a guard, and grabs Nana by her bitch hair. He holds a gun to her head and tells the doctor to save Max. Do a transplant, he demands. The doctor points out that they don't have any hearts to transplant. Zack holds the gun up to Nana's head and tells the doctor to use her heart. Wait, wait -- Zack thinks Nana has a heart? Huh. Nana points out that X5s need X5 hearts, like Klingons need Klingon hearts. Zack shoves Nana away, points the gun at his head, and tells them to use his, then. Ew. Why didn't he take out Nana first? Well, it's obvious he wasn't thinking too clearly.
Max wakes up in the Manticore ICU, staring at Nana Visitor's smug little face. She struggles at her restraints, and Nana tells her not to, because she's just chock-full of motherly concern that she'll pull a stitch. She then launches into a really oblique and vague speech about Zack martyring himself for Max. He must have really loved her. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, if you know what I mean. Ew. That's her brother. Nana hooks up an external heart monitor so that Max can hear Zack's heart beating inside her. Creepy. Max yells at her to turn it off, but she won't, because she's, you know, evil. Max looks fretful, but really doesn't seem able to muster up much more emotion than that. I'm sure it's because her character's on tranquilizers and pain-killers, though, and not because she's a mediocre, fair-to-middling-at-best actress. No, no, it's not that. No way. Nana walks out, muttering about how nice it is to have Max home.
Logan has managed to get himself up to the top of the Space Needle again, so he can look down on everyone. High-and-mighty-ness is so good for a downcast spirit. He is singing "Somewhere Out There" from An American Tail with a tear in his eye and a hole in his heart. He's opining that sometimes it all seems like a dream. A bad dream that happened to somebody else. Oh honey, it was a dream that happened to someone else. It was mine. Welcome to my nightmare. Now get out. I've been doing this for eight months and I've had just about enough. Good thing I have the summer to recover.