“ All the teenage boys watching at home are like, 'Is she in heat yet? Are they going to do it? Is she going to take her shirt off?' ”
Previously on Dark Angel: Max inserted the implant from the South African Goon Squad into her neck. Lydecker blackmails Tinga into giving herself up to save her child. Max promises to bring Tinga back. Brinn is reporting to Nana Visitor, who appears to be trying to double-cross Lydecker. Strange things are afoot at Manticore HQ, apparently. Tinga's in a big tank with tubes attached to her.
Just a meta-note: I'm going to call Cap'n EO "Logan" from now on, because it's easier to type. In case you were wondering. Which you probably weren't.
Logan is talking to Sebastian via computer, getting advice on how to fix up the exoskeleton that Crazy Camera Guy sent. Sebastian says that Logan needs a microchip that they can get in twelve to fourteen weeks from Singapore. Logan wants it sooner. Sebastian says that the same part can be found in robotic arms at nuclear reactors, and suggests that Max could steal one. Yeah, nuclear reactors are generally pretty lax on the security. Logan says that Max "is not on the loop on this little project," and Sebastian suggests that Logan lie to her. I have a question. Since Sebastian doesn't talk in the normal way, or have facial expressions at all, really, why do they need to have a video connection? Oh, so we at home know who the hell Logan is talking to. It just seemed weird to keep seeing Sebastian's blank face. Anyway, Max arrives just then, and Logan signs off quickly and covers up the exoskeleton. Max walks in and asks about a Chinese urn that's missing, and wonders if Logan sold it. Logan spins some story about Pierpont Lempkin wanting to sell a chip to the Taliban, and that Max has to steal the chip before Lempkin can get his hands on it. Max is unimpressed, but agrees to steal the chip. She feels hot, and removes her jacket while remarking that she thinks she might be coming down with something. Logan reminds her that it's been a year since Max broke into his apartment, which means it's been a year since they met, and he'd like to have dinner to celebrate. Max agrees, saying she could use "a little mirth in [her] life." Logan asks about Tinga, and Max reports that Zack found out they didn't take Tinga to Manticore, but they don't know where she is. Logan promises "an abundance of mirth and maybe a little surprise" at their dinner. All the teenage boys watching at home are like, "Is she in heat yet? Are they going to do it? Is she going to take her shirt off?" Simmer.
Max arrives home and lies down on her bed. Hey, I thought she didn't sleep. Max hears a noise and gets up. Some Manticore thugs are outside in the alley. She sneaks down and disarms the two thugs. She uses one of the guns to force Thug #2 into her apartment. She orders him to disrobe as some thump-thump music starts up. Ah, it's a dream. I get it. Max orders the naked thug to her bed, where shelook, I'm not going to tell you every move she makes. Use your imagination. At one point, Max looks up and the guy has turned into Logan, who tells her that it's a dream. A needle scratches on a record as the song stops and Max wakes up and realizes that she's in heat again. Oh, dear Lord.
“ Jessica Alba sounds like she's reciting lines she heard on a late-night phone-sex commercial, but then again, I'm not exactly the target audience for this scene. ”
Hey! Real credits! And they aren't that bad.
Max has just informed OC about her "estrus cycle," and that she gets an "uncontrollable craving" that happens "two, maybe three times a year." OC reiterates that it's because of Max's "feline DNA," and there's a bit of Men Are From Mars, Max Is From Manticore banter. OC suggests that Max just lock herself in a closet, and Max says that she tried that, but she ripped the doors off the hinges. Call me crazy, but couldn't she just masturbate? I mean, cats in heat do. Or so I've heard. It seems like that would help to take the edge off, anyway. Max asks OC to "smack [her] really hard right in the face" if she seems to get carried away. Max spots a guy lifting boxes in the alley and lusts over him, and OC threatens to smack her. Jessica Alba sounds like she's reciting lines she heard on a late-night phone-sex commercial, but then again, I'm not exactly the target audience for this scene.
Nana Visitor and Agent Sandoval walk in front of an official-looking building. Nana Visitor tells Agent Sandoval that they have to keep the "stealth drones" (a.k.a. The Simon) secret from the executive committee. Lydecker pops up and asks why he wasn't told about the executive committee meeting. Nana Visitor explains that the committee is pissed about Tinga's escape, and they blame Lydecker for it. Lydecker thinks that Nana Visitor is just covering her ass, since she was the one responsible. Nana Visitor claims that she made excuses for Lydecker, and he should thank her. She walks away. Zack watches from afar as Lydecker mutters, "Pissy little bitch."
At work, Max complains about the heat. Well, she thinks it's hot out, plus, you know, she's in heat. So it's both, really. OC advises her to go scratch her "itch," and notes that men don't have a problem separating love and sex. As an example, OC calls Sketchy over and proposes that they have sex, but never talk about it afterwards. Sketchy's all for it. OC considers her point proven, but of course Sketchy didn't know it was just theoretical until OC pushed him away. Wouldn't the fact that she's a lesbian clue him in? Then again, Sketchy is pretty dumb. Max doesn't think she can "just hit it with some guy," and points out her past mistakes of that genre. OC suggests that she hook up with Logan, but Max doesn't think that's a good idea because they're "not even like that." OC agrees to continue to help Max "beat this bitch." Just then, Max runs into (literally) the hot pizza boy (and "hot" describes both the boy and the pizza in this case). She goes all gooey until OC pulls her away.
Lydecker discusses Brinn's report regarding Tinga's "escape." Brinn claims that Tinga overpowered the soldiers guarding her and got away. Brinn was concerned with keeping control of the vehicle they were all riding in, and couldn't stop Tinga. Lydecker doesn't buy it. Lydecker points out that he made a deal to trade the life of the son for Tinga, and yet Brinn tried to capture the son and Max along with Tinga. Brinn says that "the scope of the mission was changed," and she assumed he was in the loop. Brinn lets Sandoval's name slip, and Lydecker dismisses her.
“ OC forces Max to do some more push-ups, like that's going to help. Seriously. Max. Get a vibrator. ”
In their apartment, Max tells OC that there's nothing like an ice-cold shower to help her problem. What is she, Carmine Ragusa? Do cold showers really work in that situation? Max starts doing push-ups to burn off excess energy because she needs to sit in a car with Logan that night. OC asks if Logan knows about Max being in heat, and Max says that Logan is the "last person in the world" she would tell. OC asks how Max plans to control herself. Max starts talking about Logan's "scruffy beard, and those cute little glasses that make him look all sexy and intellectual." This talk forces Max to take another cold shower. There's a knock at the door. OC answers it to find Logan. How did he get up the stairs in his wheelchair? Do they have an elevator or something? Max shows up behind OC, all horny and shit, and OC tells Logan that Max will meet him downstairs and shuts the door. OC forces Max to do some more push-ups, like that's going to help. Seriously. Max. Get a vibrator.
Lydecker meets up with Zakes of the South African Goon Squad. Remember? Max has their implant in her neck, and they want her eggs to make an army of soldiers? Yeah, those guys. Anyway, Zakes says that his group is still interested in "pursuing a transgenic program, similar to Manticore," and proposes a deal. Lydecker isn't interested in Zakes's implant technology -- he thinks the Manticore kids are fine without them. Zakes pulls out a picture of Max, and says they can find her for Lydecker because they can trace her via the implant in her neck. In return, Zakes wants genetic data from early Manticore trials, and an "in vitro embryo." Lydecker agrees, but clarifies that he won't give them anything current. Zakes chuckles and says that they'll have Max in no time. Is Lydecker even authorized to make deals like this at this point?
Mmm, Vanilla Bean Coolatta. That is the cure for what ails you.
Did they explain last week how Logan got his car fixed, or a new car? I missed the episode, so I just read the recap. Well, anyway, Logan and Max are in the Aztek, and the windows are all fogged up. Apparently, they are scouting out the nuclear plant's security in preparation for Max's burglary run. Logan wonders why the windows are all fogged up. Max is all hot and bothered. The music starts up again as Max checks out Logan's profile, his mouth in particular. He turns to her and says, "Can you make out with me while we wait?" Max says dewily, "What?" Logan repeats, "Can you make out anything past the gate?" Needle scratching again. That has got to be the lamest, most overused piece of "comedy" on the FOX network, between this show and Ally McBeal. Max is busted out of her sexual reverie. Logan leans over to get something out of the glove compartment. Max can't take the proximity and hops out of the car, saying that she has to "get this thing over with." Logan looks after her, confused.