Max is wearing a terrycloth bathrobe and talking some serious trash about some guy "jacking their power on bath night." Who cares about his cannabis plants? They stole the power first, and it's theirs when they want it. Kendra is acting like a Greek chorus or Baptist choir in this scene, just affirming whatever Max is saying. As they wander back into the apartment, they begin having one of those made-for-TV versions of girl talk where they talk about sex and how much they hate cuddling and just want the noogies. It's just such a guy version of girl interaction. Speaking of which, I was watching some embarrassingly bad television last week due to a nasty head cold and a severe lazy streak, and MTV was having some self-aggrandizing/cheap advertisement show about the MTV Movie Awards. The only thing worth watching the show for was some short movie about the making of a movie that they had made (if you could follow that), where Lisa Kudrow plays a faux choreographer teaching women how to dance around a table to some crappy fifties song in the appropriate manner for some female bonding time. 'Cause isn't that how we ladies spend all our quality time? Dancing around a table to some retro tune? Isn't it? Maybe in James Cameron's wet dream. I can attest that, in twenty-five years as a female, I have never EVER danced around the table using a hairbrush as a microphone. Doing a dance-based interpretation of "You Spin Me Round"? Sure. But that's entirely different than dancing around a table with my three closest female friends.
Moving on. So Max and Kendra are having one of those conversations about Kendra's date that night. Max is opining that there is no way Kendra and her mystery man have sex for twelve hours straight. It's not possible. Kendra points out that it is indeed possible. Ask Willie Nelson. Or Sting. Max says that in her experience that has not been true. Well, if her experience and vast knowledge is based on the likes of Scrappy Doo from the second episode, no freaking wonder she has no clue about the mysteries of twelve-hour sexcapades. Kendra says that Max has already met the man, and that she'd better keep her genetically-engineered sloppy-seconds hands off of him Word, girlfriend -- you never know when Max is going to be in heat again. But I have to second Amorgan's opinion on this; since when did Kendra become a man collector? Whatever; it's not like the writers spend a lot of time on character development.
Max is soaking her head in her bath. They don't show anything, so don't bother with the woody. The phone rings, and she answers with a curt, "This better be global." Max. If you didn't want to answer the phone, why did you bring it into the bathroom with you? Just asking. It's -- of course -- Cap'n EO. He found out where the federal witness is being held, and he really wants Max to get over to the safe house ASAP to rescue the guy from the inept hands of the feds before he gets killed. Max is not feeling rushed; she's in heaven and Logan is bringing her down. It took her an hour to heat twenty pots of water, and she's going to enjoy it. Did the Pulse change the laws of physics? 'Cause it seems that if you took an hour to fill a bath, it would be pretty freaking cold by the time you got in. Anyhoo, Max thinks the witness will stay put until she's done with her bath. Then she drops the phone in the water and zaps herself senseless. Cap'n EO and I both guffaw and chortle about karma and selfishness.
Max and her big black motorcycle finally get around to staking out the safe house. Two seconds later, two men in black fatigues make the scene with guns drawn, ready to break in and kill the witness, who, by the way, is prepared to testify against the mayor and finally bring His Corruptness down. Logan's peeing his pants with excitement. But Max has to keep the witness alive first. She busts in the front door of the safe house, grabs the witness, throws him on the back of her motorcycle, and makes like a drum and beats it. I learned that one from Encyclopedia Brown. As she cruises off into the night, she asks the witness if he's all right. He says that he's okay, but she interrupted a dream he was having about twins from Portland. Max recognizes the voice as that of Bruno Anselmo from way back in episode one. Does anyone remember him? No? Thank god for flashbacks. Remember when Max dressed up like a hooker? No, not that time, the other time. No, the time before. No, no, the first time. Got it? Bruno was the guy who promised to work over Max's face with a pair of pliers. And then she took him to a hotel room and beat the crap out of him, and then he shot her and she pretended to be dead at the bottom of a pool. But before she pretended to die, she told Bruno something that made him charge right out and kill his boss, Sanrisa. It had something to do with medication for Balkan War Syndrome and large amounts of money. Bruno was supposed to be dead. He and Max stare at each other for awhile, and Max gets all skeeved and wants to take another bath. You know, I bet Freud would have a lot to say about that motorcycle.
Back at the Halls of Justice, Max introduces the Cap'n to the blindfolded Bruno. Bruno is already complaining about his treatment. No one cares. Including me. Moving on. Cap'n EO thought Bruno was dead. Hey, writers, we get it. Bruno was supposed to be dead! We get it! The writers are obviously not listening, because Cap'n EO continues to spell it out for the mentally challenged in the audience. So, Bruno, you were supposed to be dead, but you're not. You faked your death. And now you are going to testify against the mayor for his role in the death of 149 veterans who did not get their medication. I climb the cherry tree outside and signal in semaphore to the writers: We Freaking Get It! Bruno's Not Dead. Consider It Got! It's like freaking Easter or something. Since Bruno isn't dead, Cap'n EO wants him kept alive. Max is distressed at the idea of babysitting Bruno, but the Cap'n decides that the greater good is worth suffering his own personal discomfort with the situation. Because, if you didn't remember, Bruno is the one responsible for putting the Cap'n in a wheelchair. Did you remember that? I didn't. Don't worry, the writers will show you the footage about twenty-six times in the half hour. Bruno is confused. Max takes off his blindfold to show him the fruits of his labor: Logan in a wheelchair. Bruno is all, did I do that? Max and the Cap'n roll their eyes.