The show opens with a pro/troupe dance, and then an introduction of each celebrity. They don't walk down the stairs this season to the theme song. I find that odd. I guess I'd rather see a dance number but I miss getting a full look at each outfit before the show started. Maybe it was just me.
Elizabeth and Val are up first and they have the samba this week. I think she will be great at the samba. I can just see her in a giant headdress in Rio. She kind of looks like a bird anyway, and I mean that as a compliment. She and Val seem to be getting along well in rehearsals. Their routine is nearly flawless but she's kind of bugging me. I feel like she's cocky. Let's see what the judges say.
Judges? Len thought it was fantastic and there were only tiny flaws. He doesn't go into detail and Elizabeth looks a little disappointed. Bruno thought the content and accuracy were amazing, but she slightly messed up a couple of passes. Val takes the blame for that. Carrie Ann calls her a strong, sensuous dancer. Tom points out that Val is dripping sweat and Val says he has to try his hardest for his great partner. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 9, and Bruno 8. I wish the judges had been more specific about the mistakes.
Mark and Christina have the paso doble. Mark is psyched that they are doing a modern take on it, and Christina is happy that Mark is pushing her to go to the level. It's a pretty nontraditional paso doble. I didn't see a ton of the usual moves, although I was kind of bored of them anyway.
Judges? Bruno loves a quirky paso, but he thought she missed a step in the corner. Carrie Ann loved her confidence and her technique, and Len thought it did have the character of a paso doble, so I guess I'm crazy. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8, and Bruno 8.
I forgot Bill Engvall was on this show. That doesn't bode well, I think. In rehearsals, Bill said that he liked the judges' comments but he didn't like their scores. They have the jive this week so Bill is in for a workout. Emma's big plan is to steal all of Derek's moves. Is that something she should be saying out loud? Bill is really game and he attacks the dance but he's very much the uncle at the wedding in his style. Like he's good…for his age. That's probably not enough to win this thing.
Judges? Tom asks Emma about stealing Derek's moves and Emma laughs that she didn't think they'd put that in. Carrie Ann thinks it was the most entertaining dance of the night so far. Len loved how much content was in there, and it was fun. Bruno loved the performance value and he really enjoyed it. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 7. They are thrilled with those scores.
Brooke's backstage interviews are still so useless. I'm glad they are marginalizing her even more. Anyway, in rehearsals, Jack and Cheryl have trouble with the rumba because Jack doesn't feel sexy. And it doesn't help when his mom comes to watch. I have to say, Jack looked really good out there! He looks like the stars are supposed to look in the second week. He doesn't miss a step and his extension is good. He's still got some work to do, but he looks like a dancer.
Judges? Len liked the control and fluidity, although his hands were a little weird at times. Bruno is really impressed with Jack's progress in just two weeks. Carrie Ann loves Jack's nobility and says that he transports her to another time. I don't know what the means. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8. In any other season, he would be a frontrunner.
Keyshawn's rehearsal package doesn't show a whole lot of rehearsal. It's more about showing his fellow commentators talk about how hard he's working. Keyshawn and Sharna have the samba and they're dancing to James Brown, so that's a plus. He's definitely moving a lot better this week but I don't see a ton of samba in there. He also nearly drops Sharna on her head. It was fun to watch but I don't know how good the technique was.
Judges? Bruno loves that Keyshawn went for it and enjoyed himself, but he needs to learn to count and keep time. Keyshawn gets emotional and says that Sharna has made this experience great for him. Carrie Ann loved seeing him move and asks him to finish his moves. Len liked watching him move too, and says there was definite improvement. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, and Bruno 6. Man, their critique did not match those scores, although I thought the scores were fair.
Snooki has the rumba this week, so Sasha tries to give her the storyline they're telling in their dance and explain that it has to be sensual. Snooki is worried that her fiancé won't like it, but they move ahead anyway. She jokes that she's going to get pregnant with these moves. Look, either you like Snooki and think she's funny, which I kind of do, or you don't, and she annoys you. I don't think she's going to do anything on this show to change anyone's mind about her personality. She cracks me up. Anyway, her rumba is nowhere near fluid enough and she doesn't give into the emotion enough. She goes from pose to pose but I don't feel the emotion or the passion. She's holding back.
Judges? Carrie Ann tells her that the face was there but it lacked fluidity and passion and there were two lifts. Len says it was neat and nice, which is both good and bad. Bruno tells her to learn to sustain a character throughout and never stop moving. Snooki stopped listening like ten minutes ago. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 7, and Bruno 7. Tom gets Carrie Ann to clarify that her score would have also been a 7 if there had been no lifts.
Leah has the samba this week, and early on in rehearsals, she beats herself up for not immediately getting it. She tells Tony that she quit Scientology this summer and she knows the church wants her to fail so that they can use her as a cautionary tale, but also her religion required her to always blame herself and take responsibility when things went wrong. She hopes to get that negativity out of her head and have fun. Did she succeed? She opens well and looks pretty fierce but she seems to miss a few steps here and there. She's definitely got the attitude down and this is a huge improvement over last week. She does need to learn to close her mouth when dancing and have more than once facial expression. I'm sorry, she has two: mouth open and duck lips. So maybe add a few more?
Judges? Len liked her hands and her hip action and thought the routine was full of content. Bruno tells her that her confidence was "resplendent" and she needs to continue along these lines. Carrie Ann whips her hair around and yells. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8. Leah looks like she was hoping for a slightly higher score but it was a huge improvement over last week. I have hope for her now.
Bill Nye got some harsh comments from Len last week, but the public loved him. The nerds are going to keep him on this show for a while, aren't they? He has the paso doble this week and he hopes to put his frustrations about the judging into his routine. Well, it's about what you'd expect. Actually, the paso is usually a good one for non-dancers but he's just so ungainly and awkward. Also, I'm a little too familiar with Bill Nye's little bill in those pants, if you know what I'm talking about.
Judges? Bruno thought he stepped it up and there was some paso content. Carrie Ann loves that Bill Nye worked with what he had, but advises him to work on his feet. Len admits that he might have been a little harsh last week, but tonight he was missing some of the fundamentals. However, Len liked his commitment and likes having him on the show. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 5, and Bruno 6. There's no way he was better than Keyshawn. I'm sorry.
Corbin and Karina have the jive and they are doing a high school theme. His jive is pretty much perfect. I really saw no flaws. I don't even know why he's in this competition. It's kind of ridiculous.
Judges? Carrie Ann loves his athleticism and technique. Len thought it was not quite a home run, but thought the footwork could have been a little sharper. Bruno thought it was "dazzling brilliance." Then Corbin starts acting out a moment from High School Musical and I'm really over him. It's not his fault. I just have no interest in watching him do stuff he's already really good at. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8, and Bruno 9. I think they just don't want to give a 10 yet.
Valerie has the paso doble this week, and she falls down in rehearsals due to her wonky knee. But she tells Tristan they can just shoot her up with whatever they give horses to get them back on the track, because her knee isn't going to cause her to quit. Tristan gets really touched watching Valerie rehearse and even sheds a tear. Aw. Anyway, Valerie gets a little lost in the beginning of their dance and you can see it on her face. She needs to learn to fake it better. I hope they give her a happy dance, like a waltz, if she makes it through. I want to see her gliding and beaming, not confused and wobbly. She makes a good recovery near the end, though.
Judges? Len says she started alone and had the Spanish movements, but she seemed unsure. Bruno liked her grandeur and tons of content, even if she messed up the footwork. Carrie Ann knows that Valerie doesn't want to be given accommodations for her illness, and the beginning and ending were great, but she looked lost in the middle. Valerie agrees. God, I wish she could have been on this show five years ago. She would have been amazing. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, and Bruno 7. Valerie thinks it's fair.
Brant is another one I completely forgot about. He and Peta have the rumba this week. Peta suggests that Brant stare at Carrie Ann and give her the sex eyes. Well, Brant does a great job with the sexing up aspect of the rumba. Like I thought they were going to go at it on the dance floor. And his arms looks great. His posture needs a little work. But I was impressed.
Judges? Bruno says that it's a difficult dance and he did really well. Carrie Ann loves their chemistry, but more importantly, Brant can really dance. Len thinks they look terrific together, but his feet are pigeon toed. Len is super cranky about Brant. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 7, and Bruno 8.
Amber and Derek are the last dance of the night. They have the jive this week which takes a lot of stamina, and I fear that may be Amber's weakness. Amber jokes in rehearsal that she doesn't want to do the jive because she has boobs. Girl, strap those things down. Amber concludes that she doesn't want people to think that she can really move for her size; she just wants them to see her as a great dancer. Their jive is really good but it's not great, especially since this is usually one of Derek's best dances. Emmy-winner Derek Hough, by the way. Did you see him on the Emmys? I was really proud.
Judges? Carrie Ann says she was sometimes flat-footed but she's a great dancer. Len calls her a "great big bundle of joy" (okay?) but she needs to be sharper. Bruno thinks she's irresistible but agrees that she needs to be sharper. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8. I think she will be much better at some future routines.
So here's where the leaderboard stands after you add up the scores from last week and this week:
Amber and Derek: 27 + 24 = 51
Corbin and Karina: 24 + 26 = 50
Elizabeth and Val: 24 + 25 = 49
Jack and Cheryl: 23 + 24 = 47
Christina and Mark: 22 + 25 = 47
Leah and Tony: 21 + 24 = 45
Brant and Peta: 22 + 23 = 45
Snooki and Sasha: 23 + 20 = 43
Valerie and Tristan: 21 + 19 = 40
Bill Engvall and Emma: 18 + 21 = 39
Keyshawn and Sharna: 17 + 16 = 33
Bill Nye and Tyne: 14 + 17 = 31
Brooke and Tom are ready to reveal some results. Corbin and Karina are safe, of course, Also safe are Leah and Tony, as well as Bill Nye and Tyne. Thanks, nerds on the Internet. Christina and Mark are safe, and so are Amber and Derek. Thankfully, Valerie and Tristan are safe, because America can't vote out the cancer patient in the first week. That would be awful. Snooki and Sasha are safe, as well as Jack and Cheryl. Brant and Peta will continue to steam up your screen week.
So the final three couples up for elimination are Elizabeth and Val, Keyshawn and Sharna, and Bill and Emma. After a break, we find out that Elizabeth and Val are safe. So either Keyshawn or Bill is going home. Brooke is careful to tell us that they are not necessarily the bottom two. And Keyshawn and Sharna are going home. Well, I'm not that sad, although if he'd had the emotional breakdown last week, he might have stayed.