Len starts out by announcing that this was the best night of dancing they've ever seen and he namechecks Melissa and Tony and Kelly and Val but says that obviously we have to see Shawn and Derek again. You know what I think is most impressive about their ending fall? That they landed at the same time. How many times did they have to practice to make that happen?
Results! Since two are being eliminated, I guess they have more content and less filler tonight. Melissa and Tony were really happy with their performance. Emmitt said afterwards that they nailed it, and Derek came up and congratulated Melissa for such a great performance. Gilles had to hang out in midair during the commercial break before his dance and Emmitt was catcalling him. Bruno really, really enjoyed Maks as Jagger, except he thought that Maks looked like an ugly woman. He looks different, that's for sure. Emmitt was really happy with his performance but not so much with his scores.
Tom is up on stage talking to each couple instead of revealing results from the dance floor like usual. It's making me uncomfortable. Anyway, Tom tells Gilles and Melissa that they and their partners are safe. Brooke tells Emmitt and Cheryl that they are safe. So that leaves Kirstie and Maks. Thankfully, Maks is not wearing the Jagger wig tonight. And they are in jeopardy.
Lacey and Kyle are back to dance the jive. I believe they are currently performing in the Dancing with the Stars Vegas show (yes, that is a thing that is happening). However, wasn't there a lawsuit between Kyle and Bristol over a planned reality show that never panned out or something? I'm fuzzy on the details but I know there was a lawsuit. Must have made for some interesting backstage times. Kyle still mugs mercilessly for the camera but he's also still very light on his feet. I have to imagine this is a number they do in the show, and wasn't just choreographed for this episode, because they all seem very practiced. And the guy singing is named Frankie Marino (sp?) and he's a regular Jerry Lee Lewis, hopefully minus all the underaged cousin marrying.
They are just doing things all backwards tonight. They show Brooke in the sky room or whatever they call that room where everyone sits as she orders four more couples down to the stage. First up is Shawn and Derek, and we get to see the judges calling their routine insane and amazing while it was happening. After giving scores, Bruno, Len, and Carrie Ann all say it was the best number they've ever seen. Wow. Apolo and Karina seem good at keeping it loose and Tony told them their scores were great. The judges were fired up when Anna ripped Drew's shirt open and showed off his abs, which were pretty good for a middle aged dude. Afterwards, Drew says he still doesn't understand the judges' scoring. You and me both, dude. Or at least I don't understand the relationship between their comments and their scores. Carrie Ann was fired up about Val and Kelly's routine and their chemistry.
So where do these couples stand? Shawn and Apolo and their partners are all safe. Drew and Anna are in jeopardy. Val and Kelly are also safe. Val lifts up Kelly in celebration like she's a little rag doll. Did you ever see that episode of Happy Days with the dance marathon? Of course you did. Anyway, you know that couple that goes to the end with Joanie and Fonzie, the tiny girl and the huge dude? That's what they looked like.
We're halfway through the episode, so they're fixing to eliminate someone right now. It's either going to be Kirstie and Maks or Drew and Anna. Please be Kirstie. Please be Kirstie. Please be Kirstie. I'm sure it's Drew, but please be Kirstie. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge. It's Drew and Anna. Blech. Drew says he wouldn't change a thing, and he came back because it was fun. Tom seems genuinely sad to see Drew go.
So what did everyone think about this new twist where the couples get to pick each other's dances? The pros are actually quite concerned since Tom said that some of the dances have rarely or never been featured on the show, so it could be, like, the polka. Mark hopes Derek gets to choose for him and chooses the tango. He'd be a fool to help out a buddy, though, right?
Brooke and Tom are ready to reveal the dance styles that the couples will have to assign. They are: bolero, Bollywood, Broadway, Charleston, contemporary, disco, hip hop, jitterbug, mambo, and rock and roll. Are some of those even actual dance styles? Like Broadway? Or rock and roll? Some of the pros look befuddled and some look psyched. Tom announces that each couple will have only ten seconds to choose a style. The couple with the lowest cumulative score will choose for the couple with the highest cumulative score, and so on through the ranks. The graphic they show still has Drew and Anna on it though.
Bristol and Mark get to choose for Gilles and Peta. Mark tells Bristol to choose Bollywood and she does. Gilles already has some moves at the ready. I think he could actually rock that. Kirstie and Maks choose disco for Sabrina and Louis, maybe hoping Sabrina is so young that she won't know the moves? But she's partnered with Louis, who's probably a disco king. They should have chosen Broadway. Helio and Chelsie choose mambo for Shawn and Derek. That's probably a good choice because a lot of it is in hold, which is tough to them due to the height differential.
, Val and Kelly have to choose for Emmitt and Cheryl, and they choose bolero. Melissa and Tony choose hip hop for Apolo and Karina, which is totally dumb because Apolo's hip hop freestyle is always brought up as a classic routine. They should have picked Broadway or contemporary. Anyway, now the roles are reversed, and Apolo and Karina choose jitterbug for Melissa and Tony, which is also dumb since they just rocked their jive and it's not that different.
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Emmitt and Cheryl choose contemporary for Kelly and Val. Shawn and Derek choose Broadway for Helio and Chelsie. Sabrina and Louis choose Charleston for Kirstie and Maks, thinking they're doing them a favor, but Kirstie and Maks are not happy. Kirstie recovers quickly though. That leaves rock and roll for Bristol and Mark. Man, I wish Bristol had the Charleston. That would have been TERRIBLE.
Let me make you a list to try to clear that all up. If you want to know who did the choosing, just know that the top and bottom people chose for one another, then second highest and second lowest and so on:
Gilles and Peta: Bollywood
Sabrina and Louis: disco
Shawn and Derek: mambo
Emmitt and Cheryl: bolero
Apolo and Karina: hip hop
Melissa and Tony: jitterbug
Kelly and Val: contemporary
Helio and Chelsie: Broadway
Kirstie and Maks: Charleston
Bristol and Mark: rock and roll
I think the producers were hoping people would use strategy to try to help one another or screw one another over, but you can't reveal the dance styles and then immediately give each couple ten seconds to pick and expect any type of strategy, especially amongst people who aren't on a show that requires strategic thinking.
Inspirational story time! A dude from Harlem didn't have the money to pay for college. So he tap danced in the streets and subways to earn money for college, and he's here tonight. It's fine. I actually love tap dancing but he's...good but not great. And good tap dancing is not that fun to watch.
Sabrina and Louis are glad that they stuck to the basics, because the judges seemed happy. Helio curses Chelsie's dress because he told her that it would be a problem. Bristol and Mark tried to ignore their clip package since it was all about their fight. Did I mention how much Bristol looked like Mark's former partner Kim Kardashian last night? She really did. Anyway, of those three, who is safe and who is not? First, a break.
Bristol and Mark are immediately revealed to be safe. So that means that either Sabrina or Helio are going home. Holy crap. What if it's Sabrina? That would suck. Well, it's not. Helio and Chelsie are going home. No big deal. Although if Kirstie and Bristol stay much longer, I'm going to be furious. FURIOUS! Especially Bristol. Come on, voters. Don't be jerks.
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