It's '80s Night

S13E09

Wait, then we also get a roll-in package? I figured the judges' critiques were taking the place of the roll-in package. Sigh. So Maks and Hope have the tango this week, and Hope feels like the character of the dance works for them, because it's all about a love-hate relationship. Maks is worried that Hope won't sell the dance enough, because she claims she doesn't know how to perform.

So how does it work out? Ironically, I think Hope did better at the performing aspect and worse at the dancing aspect. They just never seemed to gel while in hold and it felt like Maks was pulling her around the dance floor. Maks even looked a little strained, like he was working hard, and he usually makes it look effortless. He just doesn't seem like he's having much fun this season. He does, however, look pretty hot in black leather and eyeliner. Judges? Len thought that Hope was too loose-limbed and willowy, but he did like the aggression she showed. Bruno thought Hope was strong, sexy, and powerful. Len and Bruno start arguing but Carrie Ann finally gets to say that she loved how much Hope was in character, but thinks that less is more. Man, did the judges give her some nonsense advice. She was too strong, but they loved her aggression, but she was too willowy. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8 and Bruno 8. For all their disagreement, the judges gave them the same scores.

What does Bruno think that Carson needs to do to make it to the finals? Carson goes out and has a good time and makes memorable moments, but he gets away with poor technique. Bruno thinks that, in order to continue on, he needs to get his technique on par with his personality. In rehearsals, Carson is worried because people seem to be eliminated after making only one mistake. They have the jive, and Carson loves the '80s, but he's feeling really challenged by this dance.

The conceit of their dance to Wham's "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" is that they're cheerleaders in really loud uniforms. There's a lot of messing about at the beginning and Carson has a hard time getting out of his warm-up suit, but once they get dancing, it's definitely got a lot of energy. The choreography is really basic and Carson still misses a few steps, though. His kicks are not good but he puts a lot of oomph into them. And when they're in hold, it actually looks really good. So it's kind of like every other routine he's done this season; really fun to watch, you laugh a few times, but the technique is still not there. [Note: But he did a cartwheel! It was so adorable! -- RS.] Judges? Bruno thought it was "a crowning achievement in madness" but also calls it a "minimal jive." Carrie Ann points out that Richard Simmons was envying Carson's outfit, but it's week five and there should be more technique in the routine. Len isn't sure the routine was good enough, and Carson says that they'll let America decide. It's funny because I was really annoyed when bad dancers like Marie Osmond or Bristol Palin made it so far, but I want Carson to continue. It's all about attitude. He's funny. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6 and Bruno 7. That's fair. He'll get enough votes to make up for it.

Len is going to tell us what Nancy has to do to stay. He thinks she's a hard worker, and he loved her quickstep, but he thought that all she did in her paso doble was flash us. This week she has the rumba, and Len's advice is that she shouldn't look like a floozy. Well, that's helpful.

Nancy reveals in rehearsals that she used to be a cheerleader in the '80s and even shows off some of her moves. I bet she was a great cheerleader. And I bet she was even better at the cheerleader mean girl moves, like when you had to share refreshments with the other team's cheerleaders and you would make comments "under your breath" about their lame hair and makeup. Anyway, Nancy and Tristan argue about the rumba, and no one had better be mean to Tristan because he already has quite the fan following. But soon their argument turns to teasing each other and as much as I'm not a Nancy Grace fan, they are kind of charming together.

Okay, so the whole conceit of the routine is that Tristan is the bad boy and Nancy is his girlfriend. In the opening bars, Tristan drops a wink at Carrie Ann and it is SO HOT. Man, I get why ladies love that Tristan. Anyway, the rest of the dance is supposed to be his efforts to win Nancy back, because she's pissed. And it's fine. Nancy's arm movements sort of look like she's trying to fly away and she has no hip action, but other parts of it are good and she does a good job with the character of it.

Judges? Carrie Ann wants there to be more of a connection between Nancy and the routine. I think Nancy is a little too in her head and worried about what people will think of her and what's appropriate, so she holds back a bit. Len thought it was good, despite a few unstable moments. Bruno liked the character of the dance, and thought it was sexy without being slutty. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7 and Bruno 8. Nancy says she's so happy to get an 8 that she may have to go "lay down." You'd think someone as educated as Nancy would know that chickens lay eggs and people lie down.

The Bangles are back to sing "Manic Monday" while the troupe dances again. Did you know that Prince wrote this song for them? Just a little '80s trivia for you.

Bruno has some advice for JR to make it to the level, and it has to do with the extra details, and finishing each move. Bruno thinks that JR could nail his samba this week and get back on top. Or the judges could quit underscoring him. You know, either way.

JR hopes that his Latin background (and the fact that his mother always made him dance with her) will help him with the samba. Karina admits that she's going to kick his ass this week, and they go to a Latin club to help him get into the groove. Will it work? They are dancing to "Conga" by Miami Sound Machine and it is SO FAST. Like the singers can't even get all the words into each of the lines. This is the fastest samba I've ever seen. There is a lot of content, including samba rolls. I don't know if I've ever seen a couple do samba rolls when it was a male star with a female pro. JR does a fantastic job with the hip action, but I see some problems with his feet and hands. I don't think it's a 10, but the studio audience does. And frankly, even if he does get a 10, I won't complain because he's been underscored before.

Judges? Len says that male stars have trouble with the samba, but JR set a new standard. Bruno says that JR was a sex machine, and it was brilliant. Carrie Ann thought it was amazing, and she's all flustered. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9 and then Bruno milks the applause and gives him a 10.

Len thinks that Rob and Cheryl have great chemistry, which is a key to their rumba this week. Len wants Rob to take command of the dance this week, and stay on task all the way through. In rehearsals, Cheryl says that they have to step it up and Rob needs to be sexy. Rob wants to be like the male pros, but Cheryl doesn't think he can do THAT. Well, way to kill his confidence. Rob has a hard time treating Cheryl like a sex object. Romeo comes by to help him out. Okay, then.

Okay, if he was trying to make us think he wants to fuck Cheryl, mission accomplished. He definitely was grabbing her ass all over the place. And his dancing wasn't too bad. The turns were great. The other moves, less so. But creating a tone for the routine? He did that in spades. Good job, Rob! He could be a contender. Judges? Bruno thought he didn't hide behind Cheryl and was very sexy. Carrie Ann thinks Rob is improving by increments each week, and this was strong and sexy. Len thinks he pulled off giving the masculine energy, and Len could tell that he wasn't letting Cheryl pull him around the floor, but was leading. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8 and Bruno 8.

Carrie Ann has advice for Chaz. She points out that he came out of the gate strong, but has faltered since he's been injured. She wants him to do more movement and less walking. I want that too, Carrie Ann! Lacey and Chaz have the samba this week, and Chaz feels very self-conscious about shaking his butt in the samba. Lacey brings her dad in, and he's kind of built like Chaz, so he can actually help him out. Will there be any hip action? Well, not really. But Chaz's attitude is back to week one; he looks really joyful and uninhibited and happy to be out there. That makes a world of difference. He's not all up in his head, and he doesn't seem to be in pain. I'd say his technique is at least equal to Carson's. It's still not good, but he actually does some steps instead of just walking around.

Do the judges agree? Carrie Ann thought that was the most dancing Chaz has done so far. Len thought Chaz had the feel of the dance, and while the technique was hit or miss, he definitely gave it a big effort. Bruno compares Chaz to "a bouncing basketball" which is a little mean, and says that it's too bad JR was the other one to samba this week. Chaz says he knows he's not JR, but Bruno says that Chaz did very well. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7 and Bruno 7. Chaz seems disappointed, but seriously, did he expect higher?

Carrie Ann thinks that David needs more confidence, because he's strong but timid and vulnerable. Carrie Ann also needs him to stop thinking and letting it show on his face. Agreed. They have the tango this week. Kym is happy with how they are doing, but she wants to break hold in the dance, and David is worried that Len won't like it. He does a pretty good Len imitation.

The dancing and technique is so much better than we've seen from David. He seems completely in character, and he moves very gracefully. The weird thing is that the studio audience is completely silent. Like not one "woo" and no clapping. What is up with that? Part of it may be that the choreography isn't super flashy, but the dancing is good. They do give him a standing ovation at the end. I thought it was really good but the audience reaction is confusing me.

Judges? Len thought it was very '80s, and David showed up this week. Bruno thought David had the right attitude. Carrie Ann thought his hold has improved, though Len disagrees, but she thinks he needs to work on his musicality. Len completely disagrees and they argue for a while. I hate when the judges do that. Shut it, judges. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 9 (!) and Bruno 8. Good for them. I hope they don't go home.

Wait, the judges didn't give any advice to Ricki and Derek, did they? Was it cut for time? That's weird. Did I miss it? Anyway, Ricki (as the frontrunner) feels a lot of pressure this week and Derek wants her to lighten up and have fun with their routine. He brings in John Waters (who gave Ricki her first big break when he cast her in the first film of Hairspray) to give Ricki encouragement and remind her to have fun.

Ricki and Derek are dancing the foxtrot to "Easy Lover." I'm SO distracted by the band in this song, because whoever is singing is NO Philip Bailey. I mean, Earth Wind and Fire? Come on. And the harmonies are all off. It is terrible. The audience is, once again, subdued. Did they just turn down the audience sound? Anyway, on to the dancing. It's fine. It's not flashy, but the foxtrot never is. In order to '80s it up, they added in a few instances of the Roger Rabbit, but Ricki kind of screws up the first one. It's okay. It didn't set me on fire. After last week, it was a bit of a letdown.

Judges? Bruno says that they gave him nightmares with the Roger Rabbit, and he thought the routine didn't gel. Carrie Ann agrees, but she thinks that they work well together as a team and they should have stayed in hold. Len claims that he loves funk, but he doesn't want it in his foxtrot, and he thought it wasn't their best dance, but it also wasn't their worst. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8 and Bruno 8. Way better than I thought they'd get.

week is the group dance! I wish they would go back to everyone in one big group instead of competing in teams. I loved those because there was always the chance that someone would screw up and fall down or something. Or a crash. Anyway, who's going home tomorrow night? I give up trying to predict this season. Maybe Nancy? I don't know. Here are your scores:

JR and Karina: 28

Rob and Cheryl: 25

David and Kym: 25

Hope and Maks: 24

Ricki and Derek: 24

Nancy and Tristan: 22

Chaz and Lacey: 21

Carson and Anna: 19