Let's start right out with the encore dance, and it's Chelsea and Marks' rumba. I love how Len says roomba, like Chelsea and Mark are going to dance with a robotic vacuum. That would actually be kind of awesome. Perhaps they could incorporate that into their freestyle. Anyway, their rumba is really good, just like it was last night. It pains me to see Mark in a sexy role, though.
How did Hines and Kym do last night? I think we forget that the couples have to watch the clip packages right before they dance, so Hines saw the whole accident with Kym and then had to do his routine. No wonder they were crying afterwards! In their confessional afterwards, Kym says that she told Hines not to watch the package, and she can't believe that he got through that dance after watching it. They do just as well on their second dance. So are they safe, after earning two perfect scores last night? They are! They're going to the finals.
Backstage, Ralph says that he was a little confused by the judging last night, but he hopes the fans enjoyed it. Chelsea says that they had a lot of fun last night. There's a really weird camera angle where you can see Ralph and Karina along with Mark and Chelsea and Ralph and Karina look really awkward watching Chelsea talk. Kirstie says that she and Maks will cope with the pressure by fighting and doing "more aerials." In the recap episode that aired right before this, she referred to aerials a few times too. Is that a joke because she thinks Maks can't throw her up in the air? I don't get it.
Stevie Nicks performs. I was just singing "Dreams" to my kids the other day. About the only thing that I remember from the show Dharma and Greg was a scene where Dharma's mom had a new Stevie Nicks-ish outfit on and Dharma expressed approval by saying, "Ooh, thunder only happens when it's raining!" I use that line all the time now, whenever someone is wearing a lot of scarves and long skirts etc. Dmitri and Anna dance along with some of the pro troupe members. It's that one guy who was Pam Anderson's partner (Damien?) and a blonde lady. Remember the pro troupe? I barely do. It all seems like a dream now.
There's no time for more results on the results show! It's time for a performance by Pitbull. Brooke tells us the song features Ne-Yo and Nayer. Are those people are is she just making random sounds? This Nayer lady - she's sort of interesting. She kind of looks like Amy Winehouse pre-crack. I am watching this and I don't even know what's happening. Pitbull is standing on the judges' table. There are many random Fly Girls dancing around. Carrie Ann must feel right at home. Is this a song? That people listen to? Kids today.
Hey, some actual results! How were things for Chelsea and Mark after they earned more points than anyone ever? After we see some quick highlights of their multiple dances, Chelsea admits that she hated Mark this week but now she loves him. They have an abusive relationship. So are they moving on to the finals? Of course they are. Come on. They got like 10,000 points. They didn't need much from the viewers to make it.
Hines and Kym are backstage with Mark and Chelsea to discuss what dance they'll be doing week, because the judges choose what they do. Hines will be doing the quickstep. Aw, no Latin? I love his Latin dances. Chelsea and Mark are doing the samba. Brooke tries to kill time by getting each couple to trash talk the other, but none of them bite.
Now we see a story about a little girl named Tayla who loves to dance. She also has a disease that means she's missing half of her immune system, so she gets sick very easily. She only has a 60% chance of making it to age 18. But her mother explains that she can't keep Tayla in a bubble because that's no way to live, and Tayla made it clear that she doesn't want to live that way. Hey, did I mention that this girl is from Rochester, NY? Just like me? I learned that on Facebook today. Anyway, she'll be doing a dance with Chelsie and Lacey. You know what? This girl is really good! She holds her own with Chelsie and Lacey. And then I got thinking about how she'll always have this video to watch and remember how she got to live out one of her dreams, and then I think about what if she dies? And her mom is in the audience and is it dusty in here all of a sudden?
Clip package of the couples talking about their highs and lows so far this season. Ralph's breaking point was when he tried to work through the pain in his knee in rehearsals. For Kirstie, it was when she hurt her hip and the doctor told her to take off four to six weeks. Chelsea lost it when she was doing the group routine and she was just exhausted in every way. Hines, of course, says that his low point was when Kym got injured. So how about the turning points? Ralph's was when Karina fell and he picked her up and they finished the routine. When Kirstie's show came off, she realized that she was feeling like a victim and she needed to knock it off. Chelsea thought they were going home after their paso, so they made it through, she felt great. And Hines was elated when Kym made it through their first routine after the injury. So that was... not that interesting.
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This really could have been half an hour, but first, we're going to hear Stevie Nicks perform "Landslide." Well, there are worse ways to kill time. You know Stevie is really singing too, because on the first line, she totally misses the last note. I'm going to say two things right now that might piss people off. The first is that these days, Stevie Nicks kind of sounds like she represents the Lullaby League, if you get what I'm saying. And the second is that I think I prefer the Dixie Chicks version of this song. I will say one thing for Stevie, though. She is wearing some fierce platform boots. Like Prince could wear these. Tony and Cheryl come out to dance to the song.
Let's look back at how Kirstie and Maks did this week. Get in your Way Back Machine and go all the way back to... last night. I once again have to wonder why no one tells Kirstie how horrible her facial expressions are when she dances. Ralph was really psyched to dance last night. I really can't believe he thought that salsa was worth tens. It was really awful. Like REALLY bad. Watching it back, it's even worse than I remembered. Also, did Karina get lip fillers or have her lips always been that big?
So it's down to Kirstie and Maks versus Ralph and Karina. Who's going home? Tom emphasizes that this is not necessarily the bottom two. But one of these couples is going home. And that couple is... Ralph and Karina. Well, he was the worst dancer last night. Kirstie has had worse performances, but Ralph didn't do well last night. Ralph did fantastic the first week, but he's never really lived up to that potential. Ralph was obviously ready for this potential outcome, as he has kind of a prepared speech ready where he thanks everyone EXCEPT THE JUDGES. Bam. Bittercakes, party of Daniel-san. week: the FINALS!
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