Perfect

S12E18

So Mark and Chelsea, the rebels, are going first. In rehearsals, Mark is doing all this crazy choreography and Chelsea is just watching him going, "WTF?" She even rolls her eyes, which was awesome. And then Mark says, "It's so swag," as if I didn't hate him enough. He is the worst. EVER. At one point, they are practicing a spin where Chelsea has her legs on Mark's shoulders and he's totally pulling her pants down and doesn't know it and she's fighting desperately to pull them back up, which cracks me up. I saw Chelsea's underwear! So the actual dance starts with Mark and Chelsea riding in on a low rider bike for no apparent reason. And then they start dancing and it's a lot of lifts and spins and not much actual dancing. And then the lights go out and they have mini-lights on their hands and feet, which is kind of cool, and they are in perfect sync, although honestly, the choreography doesn't look that difficult. Says the woman sitting on her couch watching. Anyway, Chelsea's lights go out at one point and I don't think that was planned. It's fine. It's a very Mark performance, but I was kind of expecting more difficult choreography, like that I would go, "WHOA!" at one point. And I didn't. It could also be because they showed the biggest lifts in the rehearsal footage. They're totally going to get 10s, though.

Len thought this was a great celebration of how far Chelsea has come and he loved it. Bruno liked that they used Latin rhythms and showed imagination while advancing the limits of dance. Carrie Ann does a dance rather than give her feelings. It's a dance of joy. Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 10, and Bruno 10.

So what will Kirstie and Maks do for their freestyle? Maks explains that they have to do lifts because they're expected, even if Kirstie isn't as young and athletic as Chelsea or Hines. I really hope Kirstie isn't going to do that cartwheel she's doing in rehearsals in the actual routine, because it's terrible. So the routine starts out with lots of slow walking (Maks trademark) and some rumba-type moves and then there are a few lifts. And then it gets really fast and Kirstie actually does that horrible cartwheel and it's still horrible. Why would Maks let her do that? It looks dumb, and serves no purpose other than to show she can do a cartwheel about as well as my seven-year-old nephew. Actually, he's better. I should mention that Kirstie is wearing a catsuit and looks pretty good and way thinner than she did at the beginning of the season but am I supposed to give her a ten for that? It felt a lot like the greatest hits of all their other routines, with bits and pieces cribbed from other weeks. Maks is not good at freestyle. I mean, it was fine. It wasn't Marie's Doll Dance or anything. But it wasn't great.