Brooke has on a lot of eyeshadow tonight. I feel like if I notice your eyeshadow, you're doing it wrong. Whoa, all four couples are up on stage as Tom quickly reviews what happened to each last night. They cut to Jennifer and Derek who are hugging and dancing a little. Then they cut to Brandy and Maks who are completely stone-faced, and Brandy looks like she swallowed a bug. Do they know they are going home? Did they have a fight right before the show started? I mean, they look horrible. Lacey and Kyle are giggling as usual, and Bristol looks nervous and Mark is standing behind her with his head on her shoulder, which just makes him look like more of a peewee than usual. Don't do that, Mark. And don't put your hand on Bristol's tummy, because that's her problem area. She should smack him.
Len announces that the encore tonight will be Maks and Brandy's Argentine tango. Maybe that's why they looked so serious? Because they were prepping for their routine? I'm still really amazed by the work they do on the stairs at the beginning. Those stairs are not wide. You can tell by how Maks has to put his feet kind of sideways. Brandy looks like she's having a little more fun with it tonight and Maks gives her a kiss on the cheek at the end. I'm starting to think they are going home, and they know it. Hmm, now that their routine is over, they are dancing along to the theme music, so maybe I'm making too much out of their expressions at the opening.
Annie Lennox is on hand to perform a new song, "Universal Child." She has a holiday album out? To iTunes! Two dancers come out and do a modern routine that's really beautiful but, as I've said before, I watch this show for ballroom and Latin dances, and if it's going to be modern, I'd rather see something more hip hop like Jabbawockeez or something. Annie is clearly singing live, and she has a lovely voice, but she's a little pitchy. Isn't it weird to think that she started out in Eurythmics singing "Sweet Dreams" and now she's this supremely talented vocalist? Goes to show that you never know.
Clip package where the stars talk about what doing the show has taught them about themselves. I'll just tell you what they've learned, and you can guess who learned what: confidence, perseverance, physical discipline, respect for the profession of dancing, being well-rounded, strength and tenacity. Blah. Is this the Olympics all of a sudden?
First up to hear some results are Jennifer and Derek. You may have heard, they earned two perfect scores last night. When they show the segments where we hear what the pro is saying to the star, it's on film instead of video, and it kind of makes me wish the whole show could be that way. It's not possible because it's live, but it looks so beautiful. Anyway, after the commercial break, we find out Jennifer and Derek's fate. And they are... safe. They are going to the finals. That wasn't exactly shocking.
The other three stars are backstage with Brooke. Brandy says that she's nervous about her fate but accepts it. Bristol has clearly had some media training because she answers one part of Brooke's question ("Why should you be in the finals over others who've scored higher?") without repeating the part about how she deserves it more. She says that she's the only non-performer on the show. Kyle jokes about how nerve-wracking it is to sit backstage and see other people pronounced safe.
It's the Design-A-Dance! Derek and Cheryl will be doing the jive in retro '50s costumes. They start out by re-enacting the Sandy/Danny at the drive-in scene from Grease, and I don't think I needed to see Derek pretending that his crotch got slammed by the car door, thanks. I just had dinner. But it's a cute routine, and they use the car prop on stage well throughout. I miss Cheryl. She's grown on me. I didn't used to like her, but then again, I didn't always like Maks, either. Anyway, it's a cute routine. Nothing mind-blowing, but fun.
Annie Lennox is back to perform "Little Bird" with a bunch of female dancers dressed kind of like birds. So that was an interesting and distressingly literal choice. Annie Lennox rocks a lady suit and short hair like no other. She really is beautiful. She doesn't sound her best here, but even less than her best is still pretty amazing.
Clip package where the pros talk about the final four. Kyle is a firecracker who goes for it, and has a ton of personality, even if he lacks technique. Bristol has gained confidence, but needs to connect emotionally with the dance. Notably, Maks doesn't have a comment shown for Bristol. Interesting, since there were tabloid reports that Maks doesn't like her. Everyone compliments Jennifer's technique, but note that her injuries might affect her ability to give it her all. Brandy obviously wants it really badly, and is a great performer, but she might want it too badly. Derek mistakenly says that the person who deserves it the most will win. Well, that's not always how it happens, but you keep thinking that, Derek.
up, results for Kyle and Lacey. I'm still bothered that none of the judges call him out for his horrible footwork. Also, Lacey impaled her own leg with the heel of her shoe during last night's tango. That looks nasty. And yet, you never would have known, because she's a pro. So are Kyle and Lacey going to the finals? Yes! Wow. I thought they would at least pretend that they're in jeopardy. Hmm.
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Enrique Iglesias is here to perform his song "I Like It." I saw him perform this on Today Show and he kind of dry-humped a girl in the audience and it made me very uncomfortable. So now that's all I can picture. So who are the pros chosen to dance during this song? Cheryl and Louis, Dmitry and Kym, and Damien and I guess that's Peta? She's been on lots of results show this season, so you'd think I would recognize her by now. She kind of looks like Edyta. Maybe she's the Edyta replacement, just like Chelsie is the Julianne replacement. Enrique Iglesias could not be more autotuned. Well, I guess he could, but not while still sounding semi-human. I think Carrie Ann is doing The Swim behind the judges' table. Hey, Enrique Iglesias should be a contestant on this show!
Brooke is backstage talking to the just-announced finalists. Derek says he hopes to have fun in the freestyle and not worry so much about Jennifer's injuries. Kyle is sad that either Bristol or Brandy has to go home. Lacey admits that she didn't think in the first week that Kyle could make it to the finals, but she's so excited for him.
Brandy and Maks are on stage along with Bristol and Mark to find out the results. Mark tries to connect with Bristol just before they begin her waltz, but she won't even look him in the eyes. That showed in her dance. She seemed too in her head. And then she was disappointed with the scores. Does she even see herself? Just when I start to like Bristol, she acts like a petulant teen and I hate her again. Brandy and Maks seemed really connected on the other hand, and he admitted that he trusts her, which got her to feign shock. Brandy came off a lot more human in those candid moments, and Bristol came off a lot more pouty. Interesting that we didn't get to see those before we voted.
After another commercial break, it's time to find out that Brandy is going home. I mean, come on. They've been setting it up for the whole hour, and you know that's what's going to happen. I am typing this live, and I promise I won't go back and change it after I find out the results. Also, Brandy looks like she's going to cry, which seems like a clue, and Bristol looks happy. Len tells Brandy that she really earned her first perfect score last night, and tells Bristol that she had the hardest, longest journey of anyone probably in the history of the show. So let's end it, people!
Brooke is sure to emphasize that these are not necessarily the bottom two, even though no one seems to pay attention to that part. So who's going home? Brandy and Maks. Derek is in shock. So is the audience. I notice that Bristol and Mark don't go over and give them a hug or anything. I wonder if the producers are scared to let Maks talk. Luckily, he is very diplomatic and says that his family came to this country because people got to vote and their voices would be heard, and that's what he loves about this show. Bruno begs Brandy to come back week and do her freestyle, and you can tell that Brandy is barely holding it together so she can't even answer. And indeed, as they roll her clip package, you can see in the live inset that Brandy is sobbing into Maks's shoulder. Aw. Stupid Bristol. See what you did?
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Can't believe Bristol is still on the show? Host Tom Bergeron has a message for you that you might not like. Read his incredibly candid interview.
Watch the episode below, discuss it in our forums, then see the show's most ill-advised contestants!
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