By Kim
Judges? Carrie Ann is pleasantly surprised and liked it overall. Len gives him crap about his long hair, but then says that his technique was good. Bruno calls him a "little dancing hobbit," and it was charming even though it lacked fluidity. But he thinks Louie can improve with time. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 7, and Bruno 6 for a total of 19. Man, Len is softening up this season.
Michael Irvin is a retired football player, and he was paired with the newest pro, Anna D. Michael explains that he was inspired to do the show by Jerry Rice, who is the all-time leading wide receiver. Michael figures this is his only chance to beat Jerry. His rehearsals feature a lot of Michael yelling at himself in the mirror, but to comic effect. And there's also hula-hooping to loosen up his hips. I just hope Michael lasts long enough for the inevitable Jerry Rice guest appearance.
Michael and Anna will be doing the cha cha cha. They dance to "I Feel Good," albeit a weirdly slow version. Michael starts out with some James Brown moves solo, and does well at the beginning in hold, but then his arm placement falls apart and he flubs a few steps. What he does have is personality to spare -- he's singing along, pointing at the audience, and grinning the whole time.
Judges? Len thought it wasn't great, and the routine needed more content. Bruno liked his presence, but the footwork and timing were out and it had no content. Carrie Ann thinks Michael has way more charisma than Jerry Rice, but Anna needs to push him harder, since he did okay with what he was given, but he wasn't given enough. I totally agree with Carrie Ann; Michael didn't have enough to do. Scores: Carrie Ann 5, Len 4, and Bruno 4 for a total of 13. Wow, I thought he was way better than that. So did the audience, based on the booing.
The final contestant is former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay. All I'm going to say about his politics and his beliefs is this: not my bag. And I won't mention it again; I plan to judge him on his dancing. Anyway, he's partnered with poor Cheryl, who got a hottie last season so apparently she's punished with an old dude this season. She and Michael Irvin would have been a hot couple. DeLay has lost a ton of weight since leaving his House seat. Oh, dear. In rehearsal, he has his sweatpants up around his armpits. And he tucks his polo shirts into his sweatpants. Cheryl tries to get him to move his hips, but he probably has arthritis or some other old-people disease. And he makes a joke about not going to the left. Ugh.
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