Last night, some dudes danced, and the judges...judged. Tom tries to make it out like the judges were really mean, but I think they were just doing their jobs. But tonight, it's ladies' night, and the feeling's right. It's ladies' night, oh what a night (oh, what a night). Okay, I'm done. But you know what else this show is? LIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
Ooh, I really like Samantha's dress tonight. It's a very pale blue and much better than the jewel tones she normally wears. The stars are introduced, and they bring out the men again, even though we met them last night. I think Adam Carolla might be stoned. Would you blame him? Really? He just looks very glassy-eyed. As they pan down the line of dancers, Monica Seles tries to do a little dance and...that doesn't bode well for her routine tonight, because she doesn't look good.
After a recap of the men's routines, Tom asks the judges if the women have what it takes to succeed. Len thinks that the men gave their full effort, and he hopes to see the women do the same. He warns everyone that he's feeling grumpy tonight, though. The hosts remind us that everyone will dance again Monday, and then Tuesday will be the first double elimination, with one male and one female celeb going home.
Up first for the ladies is Shannon Elizabeth, with her partner Derek Hough. In the clip package, Shannon tells us that she is a bit of a tomboy. Derek goes to meet Shannon at her home. Derek wants to avoid a repeat of what's happened in the past, where the model/actress types go out early. In rehearsal, Shannon has trouble with wearing heels, and they have a huge wipeout. Shannon is very self-critical and Derek seems a little frustrated. He reminds her that they won't be perfect on the show, and she needs to just have fun with it.
So let's see it. Derek comes out tossing a set of keys up in the air, and Shannon catches them. Their dance begins and Shannon looks great. She has crazily long legs and they have good chemistry. Her lines could be better in some instances, but her footwork is decent. For her first effort, and the first performer of the night, she did well. Judges? Len thinks it had great energy, but he cautions her to watch her legs and hips, especially if she's going to wear such short skirts. ["There was no skirt. There was fringe and NO PANTS." -- Miss Alli] Bruno calls her "a sexy minx" and admires her extension. He wants her to stretch her legs and point her feet more. Carrie Ann is impressed by her energy and confidence, but advises her to work on her flexibility. Carrie Ann and Bruno shout over each other for a while. Helio is in the audience for the second night in a row, like, doesn't he have anything better to do? Isn't there a car that needs driving somewhere? Backstage, Shannon is focused on where she messed up, but Derek thinks she pulled it off. Scores? Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 7.
Now let's meet tennis pro Monica Seles and her partner Jonathan Roberts. Monica never got to be "a girly girl" and feels this is her chance. Jonathan wants revenge for losing in the finals last year. They meet, and Monica confesses that she has zero dance experience. Her first steps on the dance floor are extremely awkward. Jonathan looks worried. He jokingly calls her "El Stiffo." Oh, she is bad. She's lucky they're doing the foxtrot, where they're in hold most of the time and Jonathan can just throw her around for the most part.
Their dance begins with Monica holding a flower. Jonathan dances around for a while before Monica joins him. She has really low heels on too. They're lower than most of the men wear. They have zero chemistry, although she's better than her rehearsals. She's almost as stiff as some of the men were, and she has no grace in her arms. I feel bad for her, but God bless her. What did the judges think? Bruno loved her romantic tone and advises her to work on her core. Len liked the story they told, and advises her to lift her carriage. Carrie Ann realizes that this doesn't come easily to her, but loves that she went for it. They were way nicer to her than they were to the guys. Maybe because she didn't mouth off back to them. Scores? Carrie Ann 5, Len 5, and Bruno 5. Same as Adam Carolla. I think that's about right, and I'm really glad that the judges are using the lower scores this early.
Marissa Jaret Winokur, who won a Tony Award for Hairspray, is partnered with Tony. She hopes to show women of any size that they can get out there and dance. Marissa walks into the studio and SCREAMS! If you've seen her blog, you know she's a fan of the all caps and the exclamation points, and that's totally her personality. Marissa confesses that she's not even five feet tall. As they rehearse, I think she gets a little annoying. Marissa learns how to tone down her stage moves. I hope she learns how to tone down her excitability. It's cute in small doses, but eesh.
Wow. What is Tony wearing? He has on fully sequined pants, like one hundred percent sequined, and then a shirt that is so low cut that it's basically an unbuttoned shirt tucked into his pants. And it's completely sheer. There's not a lot of cha-cha-cha in this dance. At one point, Marissa screws up and Tony doesn't cover well. There's much more hip-hop than anything else. Not really my thing. Tom says that Tony looks like "a macho oil slick." Carrie Ann makes fun of Tony's pants, and then says that she loves Marisa's smile, but she thought the dance lacked content. The crowd boos. Eff off, crowd. She's totally right. Bruno agrees. Len says he was bewitched by the performance, bothered by the screwups, and bewildered that Tony didn't give her more to do. I totally agree with all three judges. Scores? Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, Bruno 6. Marissa, I'm sure you will be shocked to hear, is thrilled with that, bouncing around. Marissa explains that she got too excited and that's why she screwed up her routine. Xanax. Look into it.
Priscilla Presley is up . Remember when her face moved? She looks like the Joker. Her partner is Louis Van Amstel. Priscilla joins him in the rehearsal studio, and explains that he shouldn't treat her delicately. Louis takes that to heart and asks her to attempt a death spiral. Priscilla vows to do whatever it takes to win.
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Their foxtrot begins. Priscilla's footwork during the spins is not great - she moves her foot when it should be a pivot point. She's way more graceful than anyone else we've seen, which will help her. It's kind of like Jane Seymour. She executes the death spiral perfectly. For her age, it was amazing. For any age, it was better than average. Judges? Len enjoyed that it was a proper foxtrot with no gimmicks or props. He cautions her to watch her posture. Bruno thought it was "a smoking hot foxtrot" and loves that Priscilla played the character well throughout. Carrie Ann thinks Priscilla proved that age is just a number, and compliments her elegance. Backstage, Priscilla says that this is hardest thing she's ever done. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8. Wow! I think the judges were just happy to see some actual ballroom dancing.
Kristi Yamaguchi is a medal-winning figure skating champion, and now is also a wife and mother of two. Her partner is Mark Ballas, who inexplicably wore a suit to their first meeting at her home. Kristi is worried that people will have higher expectations of her due to her skating background. In rehearsal, Mark tries to help Kristi make the transition from skating. Kristi is worried about how technical it all is.
Their routine begins, and Kristi is pretty amazing, especially for the first week. She is absolutely the one to beat. Her neck is sometimes a bit stiff, but she's actually doing the dancing, not being tossed around by her partner. She's very graceful, and her footwork is outstanding too. But what did the judges think? Bruno thought it was absolutely wicked, and thought it was the best first-round performance ever. Carrie Ann wonders how Kristi made it look so effortless. Len thought there were little things, but he was impressed with her talent. But what are the scores? Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, Bruno 9. Wow. Those are really high.
Tom introduces Marlee Matlin, who will dance even though she can't hear the music. In her clip package, Marlee explains via her interpreter that she wants to prove that even though you're deaf, you can still dance. Her partner is the newbie, Fabian, who was obviously worried about Marlee dancing when she can't hear the music. Marlee thinks her ability to use her body to communicate will be a plus. During rehearsals, Fabian tests to see how much of the music she can hear, and he advises her to watch him when they're apart, because she really can't hear much on her own.
I get the feeling this won't be nearly as horrible as stupid Heather Mills and her fake leg. Marlee looks absolutely gorgeous. Red is totally her color. I wonder if they picked a bass-heavy song or if the band cranked up the bass. The dance is a little slow, but she does really amazing even when she's not in hold, which is quite a feat. Overall it was good, but really outstanding when you consider that she couldn't hear the music. She was better than most of the people who could hear the music. Judges? Carrie Ann says what she did was totally inspiring, but promises to judge fairly. She thinks Marlee moved fluidly and with ease. Len thought the choreography was good, but she needs to control her arms more. Bruno thinks the music is running through her blood, and he is impressed that she didn't miss a beat the whole time. Samantha has a whole lot of nothing to say backstage and then it's time for the scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 8.
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Final tally:
Kristi and Mark: 27
Priscilla and Louis: 24
Marlee and Fabian: 22
Shannon and Derek: 21
Marissa and Tony: 18
Monica and Jonathan: 15
Monday, everyone will dance again, with one more round of judging and voting, and then the elimination on Tuesday. See you week!
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