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As we close in on the season finale, the tantalizing loose ends are finally coming together. For example, remember way back when Daniel Purcell was burying something in his backyard? The dog digs it up this week and it turns out to be a remote control. For someone so rabid about the environment, Daniel Purcell has a weird idea about degradability. The resurfacing of the tell-tale remote (even old Edgar Poe deserves an update, eh?) and the continuing veiled threats by Walter Kendrick are the tipping point for his guilty conscience. Turns out that the flashbacks we've been seeing to the night of Christine Purcell's murder weren't the whole story. Shocking, I know. After Christine Purcell beaned Daniel with the buried remote, he strangled her. Yeesh. He decides to turn himself into the police. Unfortunately for Daniel, his flashbacks to that night aren't complete either. Seems that Christine was actually still alive when creepy Darrell Hammond came to clean up the mess. He went ahead and killed her on Kendrick's say so. I told you Kendrick was the devil.
Before Daniel Purcell's guilty conscience got the better of him, he was taking his rightful place as Patty Hewes' new star witness (again). When he tells her about the planned blackouts that Walter Kendrick was using to increase demand for energy and increase the size of his wallet to boot, Patty puts Purcell on the code they pulled from the GPS system. He cracks it faster than Nicholas Cage on Ritalin. Linking the Cadillac to the trader to Kendrick is good news for Patty, who could really use something positive in her life since her marriage is bye bye. She was okay with Phil's cheating, but the whole getting caught, getting set up by Lester, buying UNR stock, and accepting the Energy Secretary nomination from a guy she was fighting in court was just over the line. Phil's out, but vows to fight. Not sure how he thinks he'll win that one. Speaking of not winning, Kendrick plays fake nice with Patty over lunch, but it's all charade:FAIL when Patty lets loose with all the information she really has. Kendrick wants a price, but Patty wants justice.
Meanwhile, Ellen is now the deputy director of the FBI, well, at least on this investigation. Without Mario Van Peebles' reasonable and steady hand, Agent Glenn has given up all hope of running the case against Patty so he lets Ellen do it. She proposes getting Patty to bribe a judge, but then Ellen proposes setting up Tom for bribery charges over the failed bait case. When Tom is on his way to meet his laboring wife at the hospital, the FBI picks him up. When he hears the ludicrous charges he demands a lawyer and gets one. Ellen. She tells Tom what's what and for some reason he listens. When he tells Patty he won't bribe the judge and neither should she, Patty fires him. Right then and there. Guess he'll have more time to spend with his newborn.
Then, Ellen and Wes are finally taking a weekend away. They go for a walk in the woods and Wes pulls a gun. When Ellen catches him all cocked and ready to off her, he chickens out (or really lerves her) and suggests target practice. Ellen kills a perfectly defenseless tree. Back in the city Wes tells Mr. Cheeseburger the dirtiest cop ever that he needs more time before offing his girlfriend. Then Wes asks Ellen if he can move into her house for a few days. All the better to kill you with, m'dear.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Last week on Damages, Ellen got her bitch on and sent Patty pix of Phil's Philandering. Claire Maddox got canned from UNR for getting her itch on with Daniel Purcell.
Daniel Purcell makes breakfast for his daughter, and as he scrambles her eggs and makes her toast, the damn dog digs up a charred and dirt-encrusted piece of trash that Purcell's daughter decides to bring into the house for a little pre-brunch show and tell. Instead of donning gloves, calling Haz Mat and making his daughter stop drop and roll in a vat of Purell, Daniel just sort of shrugs and allows his daughter to leave the revolting thing on the kitchen counter. Man, you know her mother is rolling in her grave over that. Why the long stare and lack of reaction from Daniel? Guilt! Remember way back when Purcell was torching and burying something in his backyard? Turns out it was a remote control. The charred remains of which are now resting unsanitarily on his kitchen counter. I sometimes feel like doing that to my remote, too, but then I check the batteries.
Purcell pulls up to his house, but a large limousine is blocking his driveway. And, dude, Purcell, I have to mention: I hate your coat. It's like your typical quilted navy nylon puffer coat, but with a strange brown suede patch that looks like nothing but a giant unsightly facial mole that is just crying out for laser treatments. What were you thinking, wardrobe? Purcell and his coat (really, you can't help but just stare at the mole, even if it is rude) look troubled as they walk down towards the house trying to figure out which powerful, environment-hating city-dweller came to haunt his driveway. As he finally arrives on the porch, his daughter introduces him to her new best friend Walter, who came up to visit him. While I'm very pro-manners, why did his daughter feel the need to introduce him to someone he obviously already knows? Sheesh, kids really need their mothers. When Purcell sees Kendrick buddying up to his daughter he tersely tells her to go inside. She balks, but he has "Dad voice" and she buckles bidding farewell to Mr. Kendrick. Purcell wonders why he is there and reminds him that what he did to Claire Maddox was cruel. Kendrick points out that Claire didn't leave him much choice, what with trying to oust him from his own company. Kendrick, being a dick, asks Purcell how Claire is in bed. At that, Purcell kicks him off his property, but before he goes, Kendrick wants to make sure he remembers their deal. Purcell knows, and he held up his end of things, but Kendrick still hasn't cleaned up his beloved homeland of West Virginia. Aricite is killing people there. Kendrick snorts, speaking of killing people, remember your wife? And, we have a winner! Game, set, match, Kendrick. As Purcell and his jacket mole renew their request for Kendrick to leave, Kendrick reminds him that if he wants redemption, he should go to church. Um, snap? Kendrick takes his leave, but not without totally creeping Purcell out by saying how nice it was to meet his daughter. C'mon Kendrick, you've got to know how aspiring pervert that sounds. You have grandchildren, man! Get a hold of yourself.
Ellen sits at the end of a long conference table with a judge who is open-minded about the rules of evidence and bribery. The judge reminds Ellen that bending the rules of admissible evidence in exchange for some Benjamins is highly unethical. That said, he's completely comfortable with that. And so is Ellen.
Over at Hewes and Associates, Tom tells Ellen and Patty that he has a numbers guy at Princeton who has been working on the code they pulled off of the GPS in the Cadillac. (Yes, I do get paid to write "Cadillac" instead of "car.") The Princeton man has had no luck yet. Well, duh. Princeton's a trade school. time, go Yale. Don't these people watch Gossip Girl? Tom is interrupted by a ridiculous phone call from his pregnant wife dying to know if she can eat blue cheese. He asks the room at large, and Ellen and Patty stare at him as if he had a giant mole covering half his jacket. As Ellen and Patty refuse to cave to his girl-talk baiting, he wisely finishes the call outside the office. Isn't this their second kid? And doesn't his wife have, like, the Internet? And also? I loathe crazy pregnant women story lines. HATE! As Tom deals with his personal life, Ellen tells Patty that she was right, and the judge is making himself available for paying off. Patty nods grimly and asks if the judge also tried to grope Ellen, because he can be awfully grabby. It is SO hard to imagine someone getting handsy with Patty. Ellen assures her he was a total gentleman, save for the whole bribery thing. Patty looks almost sad, or at least resigned to the things she has to do in order to get a little justice for the people of West Virginia. She reminds Ellen that she warned her the case against UNR was going to get ugly, but the only way they will be able to get the GPS code into evidence is to bribe the judge. Yeah, that's the problem with stealing someone's car and jacking the GPS for clues, it's usually not admissible in court. Ellen asks Patty how she is holding up in the wake of Phil-andering, but Patty doesn't want to talk about. Ellen gets that and stands up to leave. Patty stops her at the door and tells her it is all about trust. You can forgive some things, but once the trust is gone, there's no going back. Ellen gets that, too. Patty thanks her for her help with the judge, and Ellen smiles that that's what she is there for. That actually makes sense. Even though I am frequently incredulous over the fact that Patty chooses to hang out with this bitchy, vengeful first-year associate, maybe the reason she does is because of Ellen's highly questionable ethics and comfort in morally grey areas. It's not that she's so skilled or fun to hang around, it's that she has no qualms about bribing a judge. Say what you will about lawyers, not too many would cross that line.
Lester (a.k.a. Dave) and Walter Kendrick sit in some burgundy-and-leather man-bar, smoking cigars and bitching about lawyers. Lester cannot believe that they lost a damn Cadillac, but Kendrick reminds him that the car, er, Cadillac, was stolen, so even if Patty can break the code in the GPS, the evidence would not be admissible. Lester nods his head slowly, but then wonders whether Claire Maddox is looking to "remove the knife you stabbed her in the back with and slit your throat with it." Kendrick points out that attorney-client privilege still applies to anything Claire learned while acting as UNR's counsel. The law is on their side. I can't believe Kendrick is not more cynical than that. He doesn't expect any sort of legal shenanigans from Patty? Huh. Lester agrees with me that Kendrick doesn't look worried enough. He tells Kendrick that he made so much money on Wall Street because every day he woke up certain that he was going to lose it all, so he would go out and make a pile more. He also said something about growing up on food stamps, but that seems gratuitous at best. Kendrick smirks that he is always convinced he is going to win everything. Lester leans in close and reminds him that Daniel Purcell knows too much and can bring them all down. Kendrick laughs that Purcell is in no position to go to the police or anyone else. He chomps on his cigar and laughs, the perfect picture of a man about to fall off of a very high horse. Pursuant to nothing, other than the fact that I just noticed it, but Lester's hair is so dark now that he is playing Dave. There is no hint of the grey hair that made Lester look like he was on the brink of retirement. Hair club for men, obvi.
Patty and Phil storm around their kitchen, each reaching for a bottle of their favorite sedative. Phil apologizes gruffly and swears he will never see the woman again. Patty coolly tells him to stop apologizing -- he's a man and he cheats. She gets that. (FYI, honey, if you're reading this, I don't.) What she doesn't get is being sloppy enough to get caught. She does not approve of getting caught. It makes her look bad. Phil claims that he has told Patty everything, but Patty disputes that with a file filled with Phil's financials. Try saying that five times fast. Phil opens the file as Patty announces that she knows he bought stock in UNR. Phil's jaw drops and he stupidly points out that the records are confidential. Patty doinks him on the head, 'cause, really, Phil: Duh. Phil cannot believe that Patty had him investigated, which is pretty standard operating procedure for Patty, but maybe he doesn't realize it practically spells "love" in her world. As Phil sputters about their agreement to stay out of each other's work, Patty calmly points out that by buying UNR stock, he was basically betting against her. That stings. Phil pathetically reminds her that the stock was at an all time low and he just couldn't help himself. Besides, he warned her to drop the shareholder suit because the stock price was going to go up. It's not clear whether Patty is putting two and two together right now or whether she had this all mapped out on a white board back at the office, but Patty then reminds him that not once, but twice he tried to get her to drop the UNR case. The first time was when someone tipped him off that she was under federal investigation. Was it the same person? Phil looks confused, blinks a few times and then admits that it was the same person. She tells him that he was being used to make her drop the case and he seemingly agrees. She wants a name, but he is hesitant to tell her. She asks again and he quietly says, "Dave Pell" (a.k.a. Lester). Patty takes a deep breath and then calmly asks if that is the same Dave Pell who put him up for energy secretary; the same Dave Pell who came to her house and sat at her dinner table with her friends. Phil sighs yes. Patty shrieks, grabs a mug and throws it against the wall and orders Phil out of her house. He tries to convince her that he loves her, but it is unconvincing in the midst of all this, and she orders him out again. She tells him he will be hearing from her divorce attorney. He swears he is going to fight her on it and she tells him to go ahead, because, really, what does he have to fight over? Not getting divorced? Your affair was all over the papers. I don't think you have much to fight over. Phil throws the file down as he walks out. Glenn Close did an amazing acting job in this scene. She was so cool and reserved, but you could tell she was struggling to maintain that façade and then she just let it rip when she screamed and threw the mug. Really great acting.
Patty opens her apartment door and glares at Daniel Purcell as he steps off the elevator. Patty wants to know what Daniel is doing there and he claims he just wants to help. She lets him in and he sits on the couch and tells her that Kendrick came to his house. She nods, understanding that he needs protection. Purcell admits that he agreed to lie on the stand if Kendrick cleaned up the Aricite spill. Patty absolves him because they killed his wife, and he was scared. Purcell further admits that he took money from them. Patty nods at the information, but since Purcell lied on the stand and swore that Aricite wasn't toxic, he is useless as a witness. Purcell leans in and adds that it is a lot more than Aricite -- Kendrick is causing blackouts to drive up demand for energy. Patty is eager to hear more about the blackouts, and tells him that she knows all about his energy trader, Finn Garrity, but she can't connect Kendrick directly to Garrity. Purcell asks if there is anything he can do and Patty wonders how he is with codes.
Ellen is walking in the woods with Wes, but she is wearing a jacket so small that when she puts her hands in her pockets it looks she just went to second base with herself. She also has this weird look on her face like she is really aware of being on camera walking in the woods. Oh, whatever. It seems she finally took Wes up on his offer to go to his friend's country house. They are whiling away the hours between breakfast, lunch and whatever one does in the country with a walk outside. But they're both dressed like city dwellers, so it's just strange. Ellen is convinced they're lost and claims to recognize a patch of trees (amid the forest of trees). Wes admits that they might be just a little lost, and Ellen kisses him in gratitude for his honestly. She wanders ahead and stares in the distance, giving Wes the opportunity to pull the gun out of his pants (that sounds dirty, but I really mean a gun) and aims it at Ellen's unsuspecting head. He aims, makes a very Seth Bullock face, but doesn't pull the trigger. Ellen finally turns around and catches him with the gun. She looks shocked, but Wes plays it off very naturally claiming he just wanted to see how she did away from the firing range. Ellen expertly knocks off a tree.
Purcell is hard at work on the code from the GPS. He compares it to a map of the blackouts and a list of trades, and then throws everything down in frustration. He flashes back to the night of the gala, when he was in the car with Christine. She asks why they went to the gala, and Daniel explains that he needed to get the original Aricite report back from Patty, because he's not going to blow the whistle on UNR. They threatened his daughter, so he made a deal. Christine stares at him silently and then tells him that he backed down. It looks like she is wearing a retainer, but that couldn't be right -- what is this, an Invisalign ad embedded in the show? I wouldn't put it past these crafty marketers. Christine seems very unimpressed with UNR's threats against her daughter. She gets out of the car and, once in the kitchen, complains that Purcell sold out. Purcell claims he is just protecting their daughter. His flashback is interrupted by the arrival of his daughter, who is coming to see if he is okay. He tells her he's fine, just working, and sends her off to bed.
Patty's annoying son has decided to come home from his May-December romance and announces he's taking a shower. And I, for one, am thrilled about his decision to shower. He needs it. Patty snaps at him that he hasn't spent a single night at home the entire week, and that Mary Kay is completely irresponsible for letting him stay over. It's not healthy. Dickhead looks at her and then, sighing, asks if she really wants to start that now. She gives him mom face and he slouches over to her and tells her that she can't lecture about being in a responsible relationship when she's getting a divorce. Er, isn't that a great place to know what makes a responsible relationship? Dickhead continues that Phil, Uncle Pete, Ray Fiske, everyone who Patty has a relationship with either leaves or dies. Who is ? Can I vote? Can I vote who leaves or dies ? Because I vote for you, Dickhead! Patty tells him to go take his shower and somehow abstains from stabbing him. I would not be so strong. And, why is Dickhead blaming her for Uncle Pete dying? Or for Phil's cheating? Or, for that matter, Ray Fiske's suicide? Shut the fuck up, Dickhead! After that cruel and uncalled for tirade, Patty is left gasping. I bet Patty won't bother complaining if he doesn't come home for another week.
Patty sits in Ellen's office and tells her that she's been thinking about it and has decided that Ellen can't be the one to bribe the judge. Ellen is too young and bright with a brilliant career ahead of her that shouldn't be tarnished by criminal acts. Patty would just feel better about it. Ellen claims that she knew what she was in for when she came back to work for Patty. She's okay with it. Patty smiles and appreciates it, but she's made up her mind. Patty thinks it is best if Ellen doesn't know who will be doing the dastardly deed. Cut to Ellen getting in the car with her favorite g-man, Agent Glenn. She explains that Patty cut her out of bribing the judge, supposedly for her own protection. Ellen scoffs that Patty actually seems to care about her. How dare she! Since they won't know when the judge is going to be bribed, they have to come up with a different plan. Ellen is sure Patty is going to turn to Tom, so they have to get to him somehow. Agent Glenn is blank, he has no idea what to do. So Ellen, who is apparently running this investigation now, suggests they arrest Tom for paying the client in the infant mortality case. Agent Glenn reminds her that Tom didn't actually make the payoff, but Ellen thinks that the tape of him making the arrangement and the photos of Tom with the client at the drop off will be damning enough to make a case. But, Ellen! They can't prove it happened, because it didn't happen! What sort of law do you practice? Agent Glenn points out that it is disgusting corruption, but Ellen doesn't think they have a choice any more. Well, Ellen, you're the boss. Apparently.
Daniel Purcell is still hard at work on cracking the code. He pulls out a map of the United States with a bunch of red flags stuck on it. He flings it down and whispers, "Bitch." Which is not very patriotic, if you ask me. thing we know, Purcell is in Patty's office breaking down the code faster than Tom Hanks. Each coordinate has three numbers. The first number is the plant location, the second number is the time of day, and the third number is the day of the week. He pulls out another piece of paper showing that the number 1 = A, which is for Arkansas. And the time is in military time? Hold up, 1=A, etc. and the time is in military time? That is the code? What the hell is wrong with that chuckleheaded Princeton numbers guy? Bah! They should have just hired Encyclopedia Brown to crack this ridiculously easy code. His services only cost a quarter and don't foster Ivy League name-calling. Daniel then pulls out another piece of paper showing that each of the codes corresponds to a trade by one Mr. Finn Garrity. Patty smirks the smirk of the dirty but righteous. Daniel doesn't echo it, though, and Patty asks him why he is not more excited about the outcome of his hard work? Patty then remembers that Daniel's wife was murdered over this sophomoric code and grimaces. She offers Daniel her apologies, and he holds it together long enough to escape her office.
Patty is lunching alone when Walter Kendrick sits down across from her. The meeting was a planned attempt at coming to common ground. Patty is wearing her smirk again, so if I were Kendrick I wouldn't rest easy quite yet. Well, if I were Kendrick I would have come up with a better code. (Have these people not seen Windtalkers? Classic film from the Nicolas Cage oeuvre. Not that Nicolas Cage deserves an oeuvre.) If I were Kendrick I would also not wear a Tommy Hilfiger-esque grey pinstripe shirt under a suit jacket without a tie. Or really at all. Kendrick informs her that he read the magazine profile of her and Phil and then apologizes that the son of a bitch cheated on her, which Patty and I both find amusing. In a strangely sympathetic attempt of winning Patty's ear, Kendrick then launches into his life story about how his Daddy was a coal miner who died of black lung at 49. You would think someone whose dad died of corporate malfeasance wouldn't be such a corporate dick. Kendrick sallies forth, striving to find common ground in their shared humble beginnings. Patty smiles and says she is sure they can work together, but she has one question she wants to ask first: Was it his plan to manipulate the energy market? Or was it Dave Pell's? Kendrick manages not to pale noticeably or to shudder in horror. He takes a Mentos moment and then asks Patty for a number. It is an interesting tactic to tell your adversary everything you have on them. It's bold to be sure. Patty answers that it isn't about money. It's about Aricite. She wants him to clean it up, compensate the victims, and, oh yeah, step down from UNR. Kendrick busts up laughing at the very thought. He explains that he wants a fairy godmother who will make him all pretty for the ball, which just reminds me of... oh, never mind, it's a spoiler for The Wire and I want to spare myself the nasty e-mails. Patty mutters something about the judge looking over the GPS coordinates, and Kendrick points out to the star lawyer that the code is inadmissible as evidence. Patty smiles broadly and wonders aloud why she feels so confident, then? Is she wearing Sure deodorant? Oh, that was rhetorical. Patty stares at Kendrick without blinking until he leaves. She is really scary when she wants to be.
Back at the office, Patty tells Ellen and Tom that Kendrick started talking settlement the second Dave Pell's name was mentioned. Tom nods knowingly while Ellen looks from Tom to Patty, drawing a blank on the name and finally admitting that she doesn't know who Dave Pell is. Patty explains that Dave a.k.a. Lester is a power broker. He introduces people, makes deals happen, and then takes a cut for himself. Further discussion is cut off by Tom's phone again. It's his wife -- she's five centimeters dilated! I don't like thinking about other women's cervixes (is that the plural?), and by the looks of it neither do Patty or Ellen, who stare blankly at him, like he just farted and they're trying to ignore it. Tom rushes off to the hospital. Okay, New York nerd time. If you live elsewhere, just skip ahead. So Tom steps out of the office onto Lafayette Street near Great Jones to catch a cab. I know this, because there are very few Meineke shops in NYC, and when your brakes go on the Williamsburg Bridge, you tend to remember the locale of your new brakes oasis. So, anyway, is that where they are claiming their office is now? No way. Hewes & Associates is not a NoHo law firm. Financial district, maybe, but more likely in the 50s, so they can lunch at Tao with the rest of their white-shoe brethren and not Noho Star with the plebes. Anyway. Back to the actual plot.
So Tom is laughably on Lafayette Street on the phone with his wife, reminding her to breathe, and trying to wave down a taxi when a bunch of cars surround him and he is taken into custody. He loudly protests that he is on the way to the hospital because his wife is having a baby. He says it repeatedly and in different ways, but the Feds don't care. One thing Tom doesn't say? "Where's the warrant?" Tom, I know you're not an expert on criminal law, but really, watch more Law & Order. For your own good! Tom sits across from Agent Glenn, truthfully denying giving the plaintiff from the infant mortality bait case any money. Okay, Tom isn't 100% truthful. He tells Agent Glenn that when the plaintiff asked for the money he told her flat-out "no." Agent Glenn skillfully asks why he set up a second meeting and Tom's explanation that he was trying to talk sense into her is as hollow as an empty empanada. (Seriously, there is nothing sadder than an empty empanada -- so much potential, simply lost.) Agent Glenn comes clean to Tom that the plaintiff was actually a federal agent and they were at the park the day he met her. Tom pauses for a second and then skillfully changes tact. He's glad that they were there because now they know he did not pay her off. Agent Glenn doesn't respond to that directly, but shows Tom photos of him, the plaintiff, and a large envelope of cash and then plays a recording of the first few minutes of the meeting with the plaintiff. The first few minutes where the plaintiff thanks him for the money and he says he is glad to help. Truth be damned, Tom's screwed. And his wife is totally gonna kill him. Agent Glenn calls the agent who played the plaintiff into the room and tells her that Tom denies giving her the money. The agent throws an envelope on the table and claims that it is filled with the $60,000 Tom gave her. By this time, smoke is coming out Tom's ears and he demands an attorney. Agent Glenn ignores the request and Tom leans forward, nostrils flaring like an enraged bull and demands an attorney right that second or so help him. Agent Glenn shrugs and says they have an attorney for him. Okay, hold up one second -- no, this is not another diatribe on Manhattan real estate, but a point of order: Giving a potential plaintiff money is a breach of legal ethics. But I am not sure it is a crime. Why would it be? I understand why it would be bad practice for lawyers to buy clients, particularly in high-profile class action suits. You don't want a bidding war for justice, because that would be tacky. But! Why would it be criminal? You are giving someone money with the hopes of them paying it back when the case goes to trial and you win big. I mean Tom supposedly knows a lot more about the law then I do, so maybe I'm wrong. But I don't think I am. Unless New York criminalized the unethical conduct of lawyers or breaches of the canon. Anyway. Tom asks for an attorney and Agent Glenn has one for him. Ellen.
Tom stares in disbelief and anger at Ellen and demands to know how long she's been lying to him. Ellen calmly explains that this isn't about him, it's about Patty. Tom reminds her that he and Patty are partners, and if she goes down, the whole firm goes down. Ellen prissily states that Patty is a criminal: she's planning on bribing a judge! Tom snorts at the civic-mindedness that Ellen is suddenly parading around. I don't know about you, but I would give a lot to see Cheeseburger barrel through the door right now and shoot her. Tom shakes his head and begs Ellen to let him call his wife because he doesn't even know if she made it to the hospital. She's not at the hospital? So that five centimeters was... self diagnosed? Shudder to think. Ellen assures Tom that she called and checked and his wife is fine. Tom glowers at her that he doesn't know how she lives with herself. While Tom may need to brush up on his Law & Order, Ellen's been doing some serious Dennis Farina-channeling and tells Tom that if he wants this to end, it can end. He just needs to ...what? Point out that they don't have a warrant or a case and he can leave whenever he wants? Oh, was that off-script? Ellen wants him to give up Patty. She's going down anyway, and Tom can save himself. Tom is loyal to Patty, because everything he has is because of her. Ellen doesn't buy it -- she knows Patty would flip on Tom in a second if the roles were reversed. It's sort of sad watching Ellen's vendetta against Patty, when you know it is based on the false belief that Patty ordered the hit on her. It was Uncle Pete, Ellen! Patty is probably more loyal and a better friend than you will ever know. Although I sort of hate saying things like that about this show, because you never know when they'll twist something up and make you look silly.
Ellen swears that she is just trying to help him and he should just give them what they want. So if Tom asked for attorney and he got Ellen, is everything they say privileged? Is this all confidential? Apparently not, because Ellen goes behind the two-way mirror and the FBI agents are standing there watching the entire discussion. Agent Glenn congratulates Ellen on her hard work; she convinced Tom to wear a wire. Ellen shakes her head, because she thinks Tom will say anything to be able to see his wife, and she doesn't think he'll go through with it. Obviously, Agent Glenn has to ask Ellen what to do , and Ellen recommends that they tell Tom that "the charges" will disappear if he tells Patty that he refuses to bribe the judge, so Patty will be forced to use Ellen to do the transaction. Everyone agrees that is what they will do. I am SO annoyed by this entire scenario. First off, legally, Tom is sitting in there despite any charges or warrant or grand jury indictment. Second, he wasn't Mirandized. Third, he asked for a lawyer and was given Ellen who then talked to him in front of the FBI in blatant violation of criminal procedure. Fourth, Tom is apparently too stupid to balk at this blatantly ridiculous premise and/or to just get up and walk out.
Dickhead Michael Hewes is waiting with Daniel Purcell (unfortunately back in his mole jacket) to be introduced to his half-sister Erica. Daniel takes the chance to tell Dickhead that he tried to be in his life after Patty told him that he existed. They went to court, had an ugly custody dispute, and finally he backed down. Dickhead spies an opportunity to be a dick and laughs that Patty was undoubtedly pretty vicious. Daniel defends Patty, claiming that she was just fiercely defending her son. Dickhead looks slightly remorseful and then apologizes that he never met Purcell's wife. He then asks if Purcell if he really thinks "that company" killed his wife. Cue the flashbacks: Christine Purcell is screaming at Daniel that he doesn't really want out of the job and the life it affords. She screams about his houses and the lawyer he's screwing. Daniel shrieks, "Shut up!" But Christine won't. She's going to stop the pollution. She is going to call the EPA. Right now! Purcell says he can't let her do that, but she purposefully pulls out the... yellow pages? Like the EPA has a 24-hour emergency number. Daniel steps towards her and she beans him with the remote control causing the head laceration. Cut to Daniel calling Wayne Sutry and asking for help. Cut back to Daniel standing to Dickhead waiting for Erica's return. Daniel introduces them and leaves Michael to babysit his new half-sister. Really? Chores already? You're a strict dad, Daniel.
Tom shows Patty pictures of a his new bouncing baby boy. She is thrilled for him and gives him a big hug. He sits down and breaks the news that he can't bribe the judge for her. He hopes she understands. Patty doesn't understand. Tom has been a father for ten years, so what has changed? Tom says it's just different, and he can't do it, and he doesn't think she should do it, either. Patty stands up and paces the room. When Tom pushes her to get it, she flips out and screams, "I understand!" while making an extremely unflattering face. She understands, she just doesn't like it. She and Tom stare at each other, and Patty tells him to leave. He's fired. I don't think this one is fake, Tom. Tom grabs the photo of his son off of Patty's desk and walks out. Hello, wrongful termination suit! Come on, boy! Getting fired for refusing to commit a crime is wrongful termination! Sue already! Sheesh. Did you go to correspondence school? Was your Supreme Court clerkship at a T-shirt shop called "Supreme Court"? Lawyer up already! Do it for your son.
A cell phone vibrates and Mr. Cheeseburger picks up. It's Wes telling him that he hasn't killed Ellen yet. He needs more time. We goes to his little crazy man gun cabinet and shows up in Ellen's lobby. He asks if he can stay with her for a few days. She happily agrees.
Daniel Purcell calls Kendrick. Purcell has been in hell, Kendrick laughs that God gave up on them a long time ago. Purcell ignores that and gives Kendrick a schooling on Dante. When Kendrick snorts that he's out of his mind and Purcell hangs up. Purcell gets out of the car, walks into the police station, and turns himself in for the murder of Christine Purcell. Flash back to an incredibly gruesome scene of Purcell choking his wife to death. As Christine lies on the ground Purcell is immediately wracked with guilt. Cut back to the police station where Purcell is standing. Cut to Kendrick on the phone with Wayne Sutry who tells him that Purcell just killed his wife. Kendrick tells him he knows who to call (presumably Darrell Hammond) and make it look like a robbery. Darrell Hammond gets in the car with Purcell and makes sure he wants his help. Purcell says yes and Darrell Hammond goes inside. He calls Kendrick back. Kendrick wants to know if it's done yet. No. Why? Because Christine Purcell is still alive. Oh, Jesus. Kendrick tells Darrell Hammond to finish it. He does. Yuck. Cut back to Daniel Purcell in the police station telling the desk sergeant that he killed his wife. Oh double yuck.
Post script: I was so annoyed by the Tom storyline that I reached out to some of my smart lawyer friends -- one is a law school professor, one is an AUSA, and one is in-house at a major bank that did not get bailed out recently -- and asked them whether or not Tom's actions were actually illegal or just unethical. The response was resoundingly that while, yes, incredibly unethical, his actions were not likely to be illegal. Here's the response from the Assistant US Attorney: "So I've taken an informal poll of other AUSAs and we can't come up with a criminal charge for the scenario listed below. That certainly doesn't mean that there isn't some sort of federal crime to hang on the attorney, but we're not coming up with any. Maybe there's some sort of state law violation, but the FBI wouldn't be interested in that." So what gives, Damages? I expect higher-quality legal expertise. And, yes, I'm available for hire.
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