By DeAnn Welker
With baby and wedding fever sweeping their friends and family, Chuck, Sarah and Casey need some bad guys. And a mission. Like now. Instead, they get Roan. That's right: As you may have guessed by the episode title, Roan Montgomery's back. He's on a mission in Morocco to get inside of a hot counterfeiter's operation. Problem is, the hottie, Fatima, has a whole army of beautiful women ready to kick his ass. Oh, wait. That's not the problem, since he's a brilliant seducer, and wins her over. The problem is his jealous sort-of girlfriend, General Redhead, who sends Team Bartowski in to "rescue" him, totally blowing his cover. They take Roan back to Castle (though they have to tranq him to do so), and General Redhead leaves Casey at Fatima's Moroccan fortress to figure out the counterfeiting ring. Eventually, the wall Casey's hiding in gets blown away by bullets when Fatima's women kill the guys she's supposedly in business with. General Redhead sends Casey, Sarah and Roan back to get Casey out and take out the counterfeiting operation once and for all. It's a success thanks to Roan's charms and Casey's marksmanship, of course. In the end, Roan and General Redhead have a sweet moment wherein they express their affection for each other.
Meanwhile, Mama Bartowski's living with Ellie and Awesome and baby Clara, being a full-time grandma. She loves it, but Ellie eventually talks her into leaving, even though she doesn't want her to leave. She just can't keep someone she loves from being a hero anymore. And Morgan talks Casey into telling his ex, Alex's mom Kathleen, that he's alive. When he decides to, though, he learns from Morgan that Alex doesn't want her to know, since she's finally happy. Also, Sarah and Chuck disagree all episode about whether they want to elope (Sarah's idea) or have a big, family wedding (Chuck's). Ultimately, Chuck realizes it's because Sarah doesn't want to face her family. She seems to come around in the end on the big wedding part, but she's still not ready to introduce her family to Chuck. But, come on. Just imagine how much fun the casting folks are going to have with Sarah's family.
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A few things Chuck wants us to know. Roan Montgomery is an old-school James Bond type with a history with General Redhead. Clara was born, and Chuck proposed to Sarah, and it all felt very much like a season finale. But it was just a week ago. So here we are now, in Marrakesh. With Roan. He's wandering through a fancy party, then makes a call about how he wishes someone would pick up, he's sorry he couldn't make it but is thinking of this someone. "Sweet dreams and besos, my flower." He hangs up and hits on a hottie at the bar. He tells her he's in town to find out who's making the counterfeit bills. It doesn't go on long before she calls him by his name, and two other hotties scoot in, and they taser him. He looks up at their pretty faces: "What a way to go."
Cut to a similar view as Roan's, only this one is of all of Clara's family: mom, dad, uncle, soon-to-be auntie, and grandma. And even Morgan and Casey. They all ooh and aah, until she cries. Grandma Bartowski picks her up and calms her down, saying she handles babies the same way as a delicate explosive. Awesome's going to edit that part out of the video. Then Morgan corners Casey in the kitchen and asks him to please talk to his ex and Alex's mom, Kathleen, and let her know he's alive. That way, when Morgan meets her for dinner soon, he won't have to lie. Casey growls, but ultimately agrees to think about it. While they're making more baby videos, Awesome turns it on Sarah and Chuck and everyone starts grilling them about their wedding. They're not loving it, and Casey isn't either. The three of them agree they need bad guys, and a mission, to escape this family intensity. Cake-y credits.
Castle. Casey turns on General Redhead, who's drinking whiskey at her desk. They apologize for disturbing her, but she pretends there's nothing unusual about what she's doing here, getting drunk on the government's dime. They don't care, though; they just need a mission. She tells them there's one, but it's off the books and dangerous, and they'd be on their own. They're in! She tells them to go rescue Roan. Chuck reminds us Roan's the seduction master, and wonders what happened. Sarah wonders if perhaps Roan took an elective trip and hasn't been captured. General Redhead won't hear it, and says he was investigating Fatima, who has an Army of fellow hotties. Speaking of hot, General Redhead's all hot and bothered as she shuts herself off. Chuck wonders what the hell is up, so Casey and Sarah fill him in on the General's history with Roan. Which is why, Sarah says, they better go get him back.
Roan's currently tied up in what looks like an underground lair when Fatima and her lovely Army come in. He tells them he's exactly where he wanted to be: here with her, the person who's created the world's only flawless counterfeit bills. He says she won't kill him; she'll make him her head of distribution. She laughs, but he says his contacts will make it so people like him don't keep showing up at her door. She wonders why she'd do business with a CIA pig, and he says that rolling around in the mud can be so much fun. Maybe it's just me, but nothing about rolling around with John Larroquette sounds remotely fun.
Castle. Chuck and Sarah are getting ready, and she teases that he always overpacks for missions. He says that's because he doesn't know if it will be a shooting mission, a dancing mission, a shoot-and-dance mission... She brings up his family's intensity about the wedding, which she says is sweet, BUT what if they elope instead? She knows he wants the big, family wedding, but if they ran away some place, they could avoid all of this family stress and pressure, which isn't going away. Cut to Morgan, just filled in by Chuck: "Is she trying? To KILL ME?" Chuck knows. He cannot elope. Uh, duh. The star couple never can. Morgan says he definitely can't, because who will be his best man? And Chuck wants his reunited family and new niece in his wedding, but he also knows marriage is compromise. Morgan points out that Chuck giving Sarah what she wants and Morgan not getting what he wants isn't exactly compromise. He says he knows Chuck isn't good at this, but he's going to have to put his foot down. Chuck's not sure that's possible, so Morgan presents the concept of the practice "no": Say no to less important things to help him learn how.
Marrakesh. Casey, Sarah, and Chuck show up. Chuck starts using a laser to cut through a gate, and Sarah offers him water. He tries to say no, but he is kind of thirsty. Then she offers pliers, but he needs those, too. No opportunities for no yet. They get in, and notice it's a big belly dancing party. Chuck points out he was smart to "overpack," and Sarah lets them know she's not going to be dressing as a belly dancer at any point during this mission. Chuck wonders if she needs to for the mission, and she says they could always elope here if he's into that. They head into a tent and change into some Moroccan-style clothes, I guess. Sarah checks Roan's tracker, and sees he's upstairs. Before they go, though, Chuck flashes on a superbad oil tycoon. But Casey says it's not their mission; they've got to get Roan and get out. Upstairs, they take out a couple female guards with tranqs to get into Roan's room, where they find him tied up and blindfolded. He hears them come in and purrs at "my little minx," asking if she brought the oils. Not exactly what they were expecting, judging by the disgust on Casey's face.
After a commercial break, the three walk toward Roan, and he says he hears the footsteps of two women. And a large man, which he's not really into. Casey pulls off his blindfold, and Chuck asks if he doesn't mean two large women. Roan wonders what they're doing here, because he doesn't need rescuing. He says he's about to blow Fatima's counterfeiting ring wide open. They didn't realize he was on a mission, so he asks who sent them. When he hears it was General Redhead, he realizes there's a tracking device in the watch she gave him for his birthday. He asks them to hide because Fatima's coming. Casey gets under the bed, and Chuck and Sarah go behind a big rug hanging on the wall. Fatima comes in and they start getting busy. Poor Casey.
Buy More. Alex shows up and tells Morgan it's all set up for dinner on Friday, where he will meet her mom. She asks if he's excited, and he says he is. Then he tells her his surprise for her: He talked to Casey, who's agreed to get in touch with her mom; isn't that great? Alex gets upset and says it's not great at all. She says she's been keeping him a secret from her mom on purpose, because she's finally happy for the first time in her life. Morgan says he's sorry, and he'll fix this; he promises.
Casey, meanwhile, is still under the bed where Roan and Fatima are making out. Chuck has to sneeze, and Sarah whispers that if he gets them caught by sneezing, they're the worst spies ever. There's some boring small talk, in which Chuck tells Sarah no about capturing Fatima for no reason at all. And then Chuck sneezes. The rug falls down, so Fatima sends Chuck, Sarah, and Roan to the dungeon. Casey whispers into his watch for them to sit tight; he'll get them out. In the dungeon, Roan's tied to a wall, and Sarah and Chuck are back-to-back tied to a literal ball and chain, which is the subject of a bad joke (Sarah thinks Chuck's calling her that, but he's being literal. The end.). Sarah and Chuck bicker, and she asks what's with all the "no's" lately, anyway. Roan thinks it's about something bigger -- probably performance issues. Chuck says no, and then just blurts that he doesn't want to elope. He wants a family wedding now more than ever. She says she hears what he's saying, but what about what she wants? Roan breathes it all in, satisfied at his role in stirring shit up.
Casey's roaming the fortress looking for the dungeon. He finds it, with a big lady guard in front. He tells them he's going to seduce his way past the lady guard. They tell Roan, who thinks Casey has no finesse. They all think he should try blowing up the door instead. Roan: "Tranq and explode! Tranq and explode!" Casey opts to try his charm. He compliments the guard's weapon and then finds her weakness: loneliness. Then he calls her hearty, and not skinny. She's not having it, so he tranqs her and blows the door. Roan's basically like, "See?" They get out of the dungeon, and Casey says he's staying here to follow the leads on the counterfeit notes, but that they need to get Roan back to Burbank. Roan's not interested in leaving, either, so Casey tranqs him. He says General Redhead told him Roan might try that. Then he tells them to tell Morgan he'll be back in a week or two. I thought it was sweet at first, then remembered Morgan's his Buy More boss. He ducks quickly back into the fortress, leaving Sarah and Chuck to wonder what exactly just happened.
General Redhead, Roan, Chuck and Sarah are all at a table at Castle. It's awkward, but General Redhead won't let Chuck and Sarah leave. She lectures Roan for going on the Fatima mission on his own, without instruction, putting one of her best agents at risk now in the fortress. She asks Chuck and Sarah to be on standby, because they're going back if Casey gets into trouble in Morocco. Roan tells "Diane," er "General" that he'll get Casey out of trouble if he gets into it. But she has a new mission for him. Buy More! He has a fancy flask, watches, and other Bond gear in his locker, but he's still in polyester pants and green shirt. Chuck checks in with him and asks how it's going, and Roan says he feels the chafing of stylelessness. Chuck wants to ask about the General really, though, and asks if it's about Morocco. Roan says it's actually about Berlin, 1989 -- "not a good year for building walls in Germany." He says he was just off to Moscow and Diane was on her way back to Washington for a promotion. Scorpions pick up with "Wind of Change" as we flash back to Diane finding Roan in Berlin and asking, "What about us?" He says he told her that if they're alive in 20 years, they'd throw in the towel and lead a normal life. They were supposed to meet in Washington a few days ago.
Cut to General Redhead replaying his message -- "Besos, my flower" -- at Castle. She walks away and Morgan sneaks in to use the computer. He gets in contact with Casey, who tries to tell him he's in a wall (duh!) on a mission. Casey says he'll talk to Kathleen, but Morgan says it's okay, actually. Casey says Morgan was right, and he wants to, but Morgan says that Alex doesn't really want him to talk to her. "Okay, well, enjoy your wall. Come back safe." Casey asks if she never wants him to, and Morgan's not sure, but says Casey can always talk to him if he needs to. But Casey hangs up while Morgan's talking.
Roan's still talking to Chuck about how he didn't think he'd make it 20 years (or, you know, 22), and that being normal isn't who he is. Chuck says that's how he feels about the eloping thing; it's not who he is. Roan tells him to stop saying no to Sarah and to convince her. The first step is to set the scene by creating an erotic atmosphere. He says secrets are shared in those cases, and yeses come more easily. Chuck's not sure how, so Roan gives him a fancy suit out of his Buy More locker. Cut to Chuck, suited up, arriving at home. He tells Sarah he made them a reservation, but she comes out of the room in a belly dancing outfit, putting on a show for him in the kitchen. He's clearly quite smitten. Understandably so, too, because I'm a straight woman and even I'm entranced by her moves. She tells him to relax and imagine them running away together, and her wearing this just for him anywhere in the world. Chuck can barely breathe as she shimmies and shakes and looks lovely. She asks him to elope, and he's like, "Yeah!" Then he stops himself and says he can't believe she's doing this, using Roan's methods to try to seduce him. She asks why he's wearing that outfit, and he says he's trying to seduce her too, "just not, clearly, as well." She's saved by her phone ringing. General Redhead wants to see them at Castle, so Chuck says they better change. Not that he ever wants Sarah to take that off, of course.
They're dressed down to boring as they sit with General Redhead and talk to Casey, who says Fatima's meeting with her backers on the other side of the wall he's hiding in. He sticks a tiny microphone out into the room, where the big, bad oil tycoon Chuck flashed on is making a deal to buy counterfeit money from Fatima. She's made a trillion dollars worth of notes, which doesn't make him happy, since their fortunes depend on a strong dollar. She says his may, but hers does not and thanks him for the gold. Then her ladies shoot up the oil guy and his men (and look hot and perfect doing it). The wall Casey's hidden behind is riddled with bullet holes, and he tells them he's trapped where part of the wall fell. He's going to have to cut his arm off. General Redhead tells him to hold on that and standby for backup. She sends Chuck and Sarah to Morocco to find the location of the mint to destroy it, and to get to Casey before he chops his arm off. Because they'll never get the location from Fatima, though, General Redhead says she'll have to send Roan, the only man who can seduce the location out of her.
Grandma Bartowski's reading Sleeping Beauty to Clara at Ellie and Awesome's. Then she tells her a story about how she took a potion once to pretend she was asleep, but her partner put the antidote on his lips and woke her with a kiss. "Can you say 'mission'?" Poor Clara. She's not going to stand a chance.
In Morocco, Sarah gives Roan instructions to seduce Fatima and get the location of the mint. She and Chuck will go for Casey. Roan climbs over the fortress wall, but stops before he goes over the wall to tell Chuck and Sarah that if he doesn't see them again to remember they're in love, listen to each other, and never go on a mission angry. Fatima finds strange men's clothing in her room, and it's Roan of course. He has a gun trained on her, but tells her not to call for help; he had to come back to her. He says he's not here as a spy, but here for her. She gets his gun from him and points it at him. He says he never wanted to leave her, but was extracted because of another woman. This gets Fatima's attention, of course. She asks who, and he says, "my general." General Redhead hears it and adds, "...who is impatient. Get the location of the mint, Roan!"
Chuck and Sarah decide they don't want to get all personal on a mission, which is unprofessional. They stop fighting, but continue to talk. Which is just as personal, so I don't get that discussion, but whatever. He asks her what's up other than his intense family, and Sarah wonder who she will invite, and who will walk her down the aisle. Chuck realizes how blind he's been, that this has never been about his family, but about hers. He can't believe he didn't figure it out, but she says she should have told him. Casey pipes up, "You have got to be kidding me with this conversation. I'm about to cut my arm off." Chuck says they'll be right in and starts to laser into Casey's wall.
Roan tells Fatima, who's still pointing the gun at Roan. He tells her he knows she's far too pure to be after wealth, so he wonders what she wants and says he'll help her. She puts the gun down, and sits. He gives her wine, and she starts to talk. She says her village was destroyed by an American mining company when she was a girl. So now she's going to flood the market with a trillion U.S. dollars to collapse the American economy. And it will be her little village that brought them down. Roan remembers her village is called Setouan, and she's surprised he listened. General Redhead starts working on Setouan, and Roan tells her he'd love to visit it someday. They toast.
General Redhead finds the village on her computer and initiates an air strike on the mint she finds there. She tells Chuck and Sarah to get Casey out now, which they say they're working on. But then the hot-girl Army shows up with their guns aimed at Chuck and Sarah. Casey tells them he's right behind them and for Chuck to take a step to the left. He steps to the right, and Casey's like, "The other left. Idiot." Casey says he's never done this before as he points a gun through a bullet hole in the wall. One of the Army members radios to Fatima that there are Americans in the palace, and wonders what to do. Fatima calls Roan a bastard and tells her ladies to kill them. They hear gunshots as Casey shoots through the wall and kills all the lady Army. Fatima thinks this means Roan's friends are dead and says she'll take care of him now. Then Roan's phone rings, and he answers it. Fatima takes the phone. It's General Redhead, who tells Fatima that it's about time someone kills Roan. She says she's happy to see him die, but wants to say one last thing to him first. Roan gets on the phone and apologizes to her. She thanks him and says "One more thing." She steps into firing range of the fortress and tells him to duck. She fires a missile from a launcher at the palace. It knocks Fatima out as "Wind of Change" starts up again. The song continues as General Redhead wonders if Roan's okay. Chuck, Sarah, and Casey find him, and he is. He stands up and say he's still got it; where's the bar?
Later, Genera Redhead and Roan are dressed in white in a bar. She tells him seeing him in action was like old times, and he starts in, but she stops him and says "You don't want a normal life. You're a spy. You can't settle down." He asks how she knows, and she says it was her speech to him. So he wonders why she hunted him down. She says, "Roan. You never run away from a general." Probably good advice, actually. He agrees, but hopes their rendezvous aren't over, since Budapest last spring was so great. She says she has high hopes for Morocco tonight.
But Casey's back in Burbank, outside Kathleen's in a suit. He watches Morgan and Alex come out, with Kathleen and a guy. He looks sad, but whispers, "Good for you, Kathy." At the Awesome residence, Grandma Bartowski's still being awesome and doing everything. Ellie tells her that having her here has been great. Grandma B. finishes, "But you are ready to try it on your own." Ellie says that's not it at all; she'd keep her here forever if she could. But she wonders if she really wants to be a full-time grandma. Grandma B. says this is what she dreamed of for years. Ellie says she made Chuck quit the CIA, and she sometimes wonders if it was the right decision, because he was helping people and saving them. Grandma B. says, "He's a Bartowski." Ellie says she can't ask someone else to stop being a hero just because she's afraid, and if she needs to be a spy, Ellie will not consider it abandonment; she'll still be in their lives. Grandma B. cries that she wants to give everything to the baby that she never gave to Chuck or Ellie. Ellie says that's the mom's job; she just has to be the best grandma in the world. Then Ellie asks about the agent who kissed her awake on the mission. Mary says he was a big romantic, and the greatest husband there ever was. Ellie's so happy: "Aha!" Awww. I miss Bakula.
Chuck and Sarah are laying in bed together. Chuck's glad they talked, and Sarah is, too, but she thinks eloping seemed like a way to avoid her family. He says she's helped so much with his family and wonders how he can help with hers. She says it's different, but he says they've taken out some of the worst people in the world, so he thinks they can handle a family, even hers. He says she's "Sarah Walker, the most mysterious woman in the world. So, as the future Mr. Sarah Walker, can't I get to know you better?" She looks sad and thoughtful but doesn't answer as saddish music plays and the camera pans out the window.
week: Sarah's old spy buddies come to visit, holding grudges. Carina's one of them. And there's a very evil Lou Diamond Phillips. Is there any other kind?
Watch the episode below, then discuss it in our forums, then see our list of actors who should quit their shows and join this one.
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DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, is a Roan-Redhead shipper. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.