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It's time for Chuck and Sarah's engagement party, and Chuck just can't believe Sarah doesn't want all her friends and family invited, so he invites her old friends, the CAT squad. They're essentially Charlie's Angels, complete with narration by a mysterious "Charlie" character and all. It's Carina, Zondra and Amy -- all beautiful and all spies, of course. Chuck invites them, and they show up, but Sarah's less than happy about it. See, she never trusted one of them, Zondra, and they bicker from the moment the three ladies show up sexily at Chuck's apartment to capture Sarah for her bachelorette party or whatever. (Turns out General Redhead also has an assignment for them, thanks to a flash by Chuck: They need to capture Lou Diamond Phillips and his evil accent while down in Brazil for Carnival. Chuck and Casey are there to guard from the van, and Carina's not there because she hurt her leg, leaving her stuck back at Castle with Morgan.)
In Brazil, the ladies (in cute white dresses) are surrounded pretty quickly, courtesy of a call someone made to alert Lou Diamond Phillips they were coming. Lou Diamond ties up the CATs and offers them all a job. He needs skilled operatives, after all, he says, as he calls them "kitties." It's as creepy as it sounds. While Lou Diamond is making his sales pitch, Sarah accuses Zondra of being with him. She denies it, and just as Lou Diamond's about to kill Sarah she breaks free and asks him to tell her the truth. Chuck busts in and rescues her with his Intersect-fu. Problem is, she doesn't get the info. So she cuts Chuck down all brutally, and General Redhead congratulates them on capturing Lou Diamond, then orders the CATs to stay in Castle until Casey can interrogate them and determine who the mole is. They ultimately determine it's Amy, and Sarah ultimately determines she does need friends; she invites both Carina and Zondra to be bridesmaids and then Ellie to be her maid of honor. Oh, and she and Chuck make up.
Morgan and Alex have a minor tiff over the lipstick on his collar (strategically placed there by a flirtatious Carina, jealous that Morgan's no longer pathetic for her). Alex ends up breaking up until Morgan declares his pathetic love (and we're supposed to believe Alex is just as pathetic, which isn't realistic). She declares hers back, and all is right with the world and their love for now.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!A wannabe Charlie voice voices over about nothing at all as we get close-ups of pretty girls' eyes, including Sarah's. He says his spy team, the CAT squad, was the best spy team in the business in 2003. They were: Cold-hearted Carina, the bitch Zondra, party girl Amy, and Sarah Walker, his pride and joy. Charlie's Angels-style opening as we see CAT means "Clandestine Attack Team." FauxCharlie: "Go get 'em, Cats!"
At the Buy More, Morgan's in fantasy land (which is apparently what this intro was) because of Chuck telling him about the Cats. Chuck just hopes these girls still love Sarah, because he's running short on friends for Sarah for the party. Morgan suggests the wild notion of asking Sarah. Chuck says she doesn't want to invite anyone, but he knows she'd want people there, so he's nudging. Morgan wonders what this has to do with him, and Chuck says one of the Cats is Carina. Morgan wonders if she really has to be, because that puts two of his lovers (her and Alex) in the same place. Not good. Chuck just wants her contact info, though, and Morgan obliges. (Her email address, by the way is "Carina_azzkickr.")
Soon enough, we see Carina beating the crap out of some guy when she gets a text. It's an invite for all of the Cats to Sarah's engagement party. Carina quickly calls up Amy and asks about Zondra, getting the whole team back together for their old friend, Sarah.
Sarah and Ellie run into each other in the courtyard -- Ellie's on the way to see her in-laws, the Awesomes -- and touch base on wedding stuff, and the engagement party. Sarah says she's concerned because she told Chuck she didn't want to invite anyone, but now he wants to discuss some big idea with her. She doesn't want him digging into her past, which is a bit complicated. They agree that Chuck tends to dive in head-first. Ellie tells Sarah she can always come to her about complicated family situations, wedding stuff, or anything else. Sarah walks into the apartment, notices Chuck has a bunch of glasses and dishes out, so asks if they're having company. Chuck tells her she is, and offers these two words: "Cat squad!" Sarah looks less than pleased, and then she's full-on angry. He thinks these girls could be her bridesmaids or something, but she says she's changed a lot since she saw them last. She wishes Chuck would have talked to her about this beforehand, and she tells him that Carina? She was the mellow one. Chuck gets that she's nervous, but compares this to searching for and finding his mom. Sarah says you don't know what to expect with this team.
Which is when bright lights come on outside and a muffled voice hollers for Sarah Walker. They walk into the courtyard, and Morgan follows, as a helicopter shines its bright light down on them. Morgan stupidly thinks its Close Encounters or something. Then the three ladies slide down ropes from the chopper into the courtyard. They all take off ski masks and flip their hair around. They tell Sarah they heard about the pending wedding, and that means it's a girls' night out. They'll have her back by noon tomorrow. Maybe. Morgan tells Carina she looks well, and she just walks around him and looks at him. She notices something's different about him, then they all take off. Chuck now sees Sarah's point about the Cat squad: He was not expecting that. Opening credits.
Chuck wakes up the morning, and Sarah's there in a fancy dress. He talks to her, but she says her head hurts after going to a club in Hollywood, then one in Vegas, then an after-hours spot in Miami. Gorbachev was there. He won't stop talking about how reconnecting with her friends wasn't so bad after all, which must make her want to kill him for so many reasons. She says the squad is not back together, because some of them don't trust each other after an incident where the target they were all after kept anticipating their move. At the time, Sarah found a hidden transmitter in the heel of Zondra's boot. She denied it was hers, and passed a lie-detector test, so they shook on it and moved on. But Sarah's still not sure. Oh, and by the way, the Cat squad is sleeping in their apartment. Chuck goes out to look, but Carina's not there.
Cut to Morgan's bed, where he discovers her there. Naked. And hitting on him. She thinks his confidence and straight spine are different. She calls him Martin and tells him to get back into bed. He says no, since she totally ignored all of his calls and texts and letters, and now he's off the market. She takes off the sheet and shows off her naked self, so he takes off. He tells Chuck that Carina's an animal and he'll be back when she's gone. When he opens the front door, Alex is there, about to knock. She loves his outfit, and he could easily just explain what's up but instead he pushes her outside and shuts the door behind them. He totally forgot about their breakfast plans, so he sort of explains that he was helping Chuck with the Sarah situation, and that her old friends are in town, blah. Carina comes out then, in a short, silky robe, and asks Morgan to make them some breakfast. Morgan awkwardly introduces Carina and Alex, who's not pleased to see the woman Morgan just described as an "old hen" looking like that. Morgan asks Alex to reschedule for lunch tomorrow, and she tells him twice, pointedly, "I trust you." She leaves and he muses that that seemed like a threat.
Breakfast. Long, uncomfortable silences, which means Chuck has to fill them by asking them about their spying days. Zondra says they're top secret, but Amy's happy to talk about Reykjavik's sulfur baths. Sarah adds some detail, while Carina tries to play footsy with Morgan under the table. Zondra remembers doing shots of snake's blood after breaking out of jail in Pyongyang, but Amy says that was just Zondra and Sarah, who made an amazing team at one point. Chuck tells the story of disarming an explosive device using porn on his first mission. Morgan, now in the kitchen, hides behind the counter from Carina's stares. Zondra and Amy both get a little condescending about Chuck for some reason.
The girls are ready to head out, and Sarah admits to Chuck it wasn't all bad, but she's glad it's over. Zondra throws back another snippy comment about Chuck so Sarah doesn't change her mind. As Carina's about to get in her car (or maybe Sarah's), the car explodes. Carina's fine, but it throws her a ways, and part of the bomb is stuck in her leg. Chuck flashes on it and sees Augusto Gaez. Uh, is it okay for Chuck to flash in front of these ladies, one of whom cannot be trusted?
Anyway, General Redhead Television answers Chuck's question for all of us: Augusto Gaez, in addition to being Lou Diamond Phillips, is the archnemesis of the Cat squad, and he's apparently tracked the Cats down. Gaez is part of an organization called the Gentle Hand that is anything but gentle. The Cats hunted them for years, but could never pin down Gaez. General Redhead gives the Cats a mission to track down Gaez in Rio and arrest him. Sarah would rather do it with Chuck and Casey, but General Redhead says they'll need all available hands. Carina, who's injured, will monitor from Castle. Chuck and Casey will shadow the cats on their trip to Carnival in Rio. Sarah says they're not a team anymore, but General Redhead says this comes from the top: "The Cats are back."
Sarah storms out of the room, and Chuck follows, trying to be upbeat about this all. But Sarah says when she found a tracking device in Zondra's boot, they were on a mission to nail Gaez. Chuck asks if Sarah really thinks Zondra's working for Gaez after she was cleared by the government. Sarah says we'll see. Then Gaez, in a bar, gets a voice-encoded call that tells him they're on their way to Rio. Gaez is happy their plan's working so perfectly.
Amy -- a total ditz -- is so excited about going a mi
ssion together! She wants high-fives, but no one gives her one. Chuck pulls Sarah aside and says he has an idea: He'll be stuck in the van with Casey so will have plenty of time to review all the CIA files on Gaez and the Cat squad. He says they can take down Zondra with Gaez if she's a double agent, but if not, Sarah can re-engage with her past, which is so much bigger than their engagement party. Sarah reluctantly agrees. Zondra pipes up she can see the hamster wheel turning in Sarah's head and tells her to keep her paws off her boot. Sarah spins around and gets in her face. Casey tells the Cats to cool it. Then he instructs Morgan on taking care of Carina while the rest of them are gone. Morgan protests he can't be left alone here with that woman, who wants him badly. Casey is as skeptical as you might expect.
Carina gets intel on Gaez's party and lets them all know where he'll be. Zondra wonders how they should breach community: disguise or commando entry. Amy gives them a "duh," since it's a party. Covert not necessary. Cut to Carnival in Brazil. The three Cats are all wearing white and looking smokin'. Zondra wants to split up and cover more ground, even though Sarah's not comfortable with that. Zondra (the bitch, remember?) doesn't really care what Sarah thinks. Sarah and Amy stick together, although Amy lingers a little behind and dances happily. Sarah's necklace cam relays the party back to Casey in the van while Chuck goes over the files to figure out if Zondra's a traitor. Casey tells Chuck that it must be nice to want to fix everything, but he's not like that. Apropos of nothing, he says Grimes told him to meet Alex's mom and he was going to, but then let it lie. Back inside, the girls spot Gaez, and want to get the layout of the place from Chuck and Casey.
Morgan and Carina bicker back at Castle, mostly about Alex. Carina assumes Morgan told her he loves her, but of course he hasn't. He says he was going to until her father was thrown from a roof. Anyway, he plans to soon. But Carina thinks it's not even serious. Morgan gets a call from Alex, who's at the Buy More, but Carina won't let him go, even going so far as to block him in with his cane. She tells him to take it up with General Redhead. So Morgan answers his phone and tells Alex he was shanghaied into babysitting an injured agent so he won't be able to make their lunch date. Carina feels Morgan up while he talks to Alex, who is pissed but just says Morgan owes her. He promises to make it up and ends the call with a bunch of kisses. Which is the perfect cue for General Redhead to come in and make fun of him, then tell him about a problem in Rio.
Speaking of Rio, the girls outsmart and attack some big bodyguard types and sneak into a backroom. In the van, Carina and Morgan let Casey and Chuck know that Gaez got a call yesterday, and knows the Cats are coming. In other words: It's a trap. Chuck tells Sarah they have to get out of there, but it's too late: Gaez and his heavies come in, and he asks the Cats to drop their weapons. They all do as we head into commercials.
When we're back, the Cats are all tied up and Gaez asks them if they want to work together with him for Gentle Hand. He needs skilled operatives, and so has lured them here to either accept a career or be killed. Chuck's sneaking in to rescue the ladies, though Casey thinks he's overcompensating for getting "your girlfriend's car blown up." Aha! So it was Sarah's. Casey reminds Chuck that he only has a tranq gun.
Back with Gaez, Sarah reminds him that he's already got one of them on the inside, so doesn't need to convince them all. She looks cuttingly at Zondra, who asks Sarah to go ahead and accuse her outright. Sarah won't. They rehash the old fight, but Gaez stops them and says that maybe the traitor isn't Zondra after all; maybe it's Amy. Or maybe Sarah, the lady who doth protest too much. Sarah asks to at least be told who the traitor is before he kills her. But Gaez would rather just kill her. Chuck notices from the roof what's up and thinks they have to go rescue her. But she pulls a knife to his neck, and holds her own. Chuck jumps in then and creates enough of a distraction to let the girls get up and fight, so they're all kicking Gaez and his men's asses. Even when Gaez is about to get away, Casey shows up and decks him. Sarah lectures Chuck on coming in and rescuing her right when Gaez was about to tell her who the traitor is. Chuck's sorry, so Sarah continues her rant: She doesn't need help with her past or with her missions, so will he please just freaking stop already?! She cuts Chuck down from the rope he let himself into the room on, and he groans.
Back at Castle, General Redhead congratulates Team Bartowski for their great work, but says Sarah is right: There's a traitor in the Cats. Sarah's sure it's Zondra, but Casey's always thought Carina was shifty. Chuck thinks it has to be Amy, because no one's really that perky. General Redhead wants the Cats to stay there at Castle, and she wants Casey to interrogate Gaez for the information on the mole. When she shuts herself off, Sarah tells Chuck she has a job for him. She leads him down the hall.
Upstairs at the Buy More, five minutes to closing time, Alex shows up to see Morgan and is happy and ready to go on a date with him until she notices the lipstick on his collar. Uh-oh. This is going to be a tough one to lie his way out of, even for Morgan. He tries to say that Carina obviously did this to sabotage his date with Alex, but Alex has seen enough. She really wants to believe Morgan, but thinks that it's asking too much for him to have canceled on her three times in a row. He reminds her that she trusts him, but she just replies, "Do I?" And then she leaves.
Chuck presents Sarah with his research into the Milan incident. He says it's not totally conclusive, but if they can figure out who was in Milan... Sarah cuts him off and asks him to stop helping with everything. She uses her secret hand coder to go into Castle and bring down a metal door, leaving Chuck on the outside. Zondra's in Castle, ready to greet Sarah. She thinks it's about time they settle this like real women: in a fight. They kick and battle it out as Casey and Amy head in to question Gaez. Casey says Amy's the "muscle," and she punches him in the face. Sarah and Zondra continue their cage match, both looking awfully hot. Gaez tells Casey he's never heard of the Gentle Hand, and he's just a businessman. Amy applies makeup throughout this, as Sarah and Zondra keep fighting. They get to a stalemate and discuss Milan: Neither of them was there. Turns out, though, that the makeup Amy's putting on isn't makeup. She was just pretending so she could blow powder in Casey's face. Which is exactly when Sarah and Zondra figure out the bad guy is Amy. That's also when Amy shows up and knocks out Zondra. She asks Sarah to join her, and then threatens Sarah, Chuck, and Ellie when Sarah says no. Then she knocks Sarah in the face and fade to black for a commercial break.
Chuck's at the apartment picking up the Cats' stuff, which they left at his and Sarah's place. Ellie comes out and asks him how the reunion's going. He answers her question with another question: Doesn't everyone want friends and family around? He asks if Ellie would have been disappointed not to have any friend or family member at her wedding. She says she would have been, but maybe Sarah's different. She suggests he just take a step back and be understanding, since he doesn't have to fix everything. He asks if he blew it, and she says, "Totally. But I think she still loves you."
Morgan storms back into Castle to get into Carina's thick spy skull that he's in love with Alex and is through being Carina's slave. Carina guesses based on how worked up Morgan is that he really does love Alex. She just figured he didn't, since he hasn't told her. Morgan sees her point, and says he needs to go tell Alex. Carina tries to warn him not to move, but call
s him "Marty." He focuses on that and ends up punched in the face by Evil Amy. Then Gaez pulls a gun on Carina, and hits her in the head with it. Man, a lot of people are getting knocked out this episode.
Sarah comes to on the floor, where Amy left her when she took off. She calls Chuck, and tells him Amy's the traitor and that she just escaped with Gaez. She asks where he is, and he says he's at the Buy More; where is she? Sarah tells him Gaez and Amy are in the elevator, heading his way. Chuck drops his pink suitcases and runs. Sarah asks him not to try to fight them, but to hold tight and wait for them. Chuck says there's no time for that and starts concocting a plan. Sarah really hopes he has a good plan, and she tells him he has ten seconds. He'd like to use them to apologize to Sarah for being such a fool. She says it's not the time, as Chuck keeps picking up stuff around the store. Amy hollers that Chuck can give them a key to the store and get off free; they don't want to hurt him, but will enjoy doing so if necessary. Chuck breaks a CD in a waffle iron, and then begs Sarah's forgiveness again. She says there's no time for that, so he flashes and starts throwing the broken pieces of CD like they're weapons. Then Chuck spots Gaez coming toward him, and flashes and takes him out. Amy jumps on Chuck's back, and he says he doesn't like fighting girls. But the more she fights and starts to win, the more comfortable he becomes with it. He gets her to the ground right as the other Cats come in, guns drawn. Carina asks Amy, "Going somewhere? Pussy?" And that's that for the Evil Ditz Amy.
Castle. Zondra and Sarah talk about how glad they are to have found the real traitor, and how they would like to make up for all the time they lost suspecting each other. They miss being such good friends. Sarah invites both Carina and Zondra to the engagement party, and to be bridesmaids in her wedding. They both have only pretended to be in weddings for missions before, with a gun under the dress. Sarah suggests they try it for real this time, with no machine guns. The girls both agree.
Back at home that night, Chuck comes in to apologize to Sarah. They're both all dressed up for the engagement party, by the way. Sarah tells Chuck not to apologize again. She's glad the girls are here and glad they'll be here for the wedding. But she's still not ready to dive into her past right now. And there's no misunderstanding to straighten out when it comes to her family; it's just complicated. He tells her he gets it and will stop helping, but she asks him not to. "There are a thousand ways that I need your help every single day, and you're perfect." He guesses he'll stick to helping with those things, then. They kiss sweetly, and she asks him to party.
Courtyard's full of people, including the usuals plus Zondra and Carina. Morgan's looking mopey when Alex shows up. He walks over to her, and she tells him she wants to start. She tells him they're done, not because she thinks he was unfaithful, but she can't handle the leggy girls and half-truths. She says she doesn't fit into this world, and can count the amount of special relationships she's had on half of one hand. He says he can too, so she wonders why she just feels lied to, and not special. When she tries to leave, he stops her and says the reason he kept Carina a secret is that he also has no experience so has never had to deal with something like this before: his girl meeting his sort-of ex. He says there have been so few relationships for him that he thought it was a statistical impossibility. Then he tells her he'd never do anything to threaten this relationship, which means more to him than anything. He tells her he loves her a bunch of times, and she says she loves him too, but he can't do this. He says he won't. Then Carina walks up to apologize to Alex, but she just cuts her off and says it's okay, because he loves her. They kiss.
Sarah and Ellie are bonding inside Ellie and Awesome's apartment. Sarah talks about her strained relationship with her mother, and how she doesn't know where her father is. Ellie says they can talk about this anytime, and get Chuck involved later. Sarah agrees, and says they're practically family. Then she asks Ellie to be her maid of honor. Awww. Ellie agrees, and they hug.
Which brings us back to FauxCharlie, all, "Who says cats can't play nice? You never know; maybe we'll add another member to the squad." Chuck watches Sarah and Ellie hug from afar, and sighs with happiness. The women he loves.
week: Masquerade ball. Costumes. Valentine's Day or something. If I'm being vague, it's because the preview was even more vague.
DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, wonders why Mrs. Bartowski wasn't at her son's engagement party. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.
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