Bogota, Columbia: It's 2005, and Bryce Larkin and Sarah are making out on a street corner and then running with a briefcase through the streets. She's an amazing runner. Nice long strides. Some thug holds a gun to Bryce's head. Sarah plays all sweet until she reaches behind her back, grabs a huge-ass gun and kills the dude. Then Bryce steals a flower from a vendor and compliments her shot, and they do this cutesy exchange where they call each other Mr. and Mr. Anderson.
In present day we see (or are reshown) Chuck walking up to Sarah's door to the spot where we left off last week. He's so cute with his white jacket and the spring in his step. It's almost more heartbreaking to watch it the second time, because I know what's going to happen. Anyway, door opens. Bryce is there, Chuck is crestfallen.
Chuck stands outside his apartment throwing away the rose that he had for Sarah. Ellie asks why he's home from his date so early. Chuck tries to be nonchalant and says that her ex is in town. Awesome says this is not awesome. Awesome wants to know what this guy has that is so great, because, frankly, Chuck's a catch. Well, Bryce is good-looking, has an exciting career and he's sophisticated. Ellie's all adorable and tries to say it will be over soon enough. Chuck is rightly skeptical. Ellie and Awesome get all cuddly on the couch, and Chuck sits alone across the room. Seriously. My heart is breaking. Can't we bring back the sandwich girl if Sarah's going to be preoccupied? Our nerdy hero needs some love.
At the Buy More, Lester is doing a white glove test. Chuck and Morgan compare Lester to Mussolini. I don't think he's gone full-on dictator yet, since Chuck and Casey can apparently come and go as they please to the fro-yo shop, but give him time. Give him time. Speaking of fro-yo, guess where C&C are spending their lunch. Yup. Down in super secret spy lair. Chuck wants to know if it has anything to do with Bryce being in town. Casey so obliviously notes that Bryce is probably there for a "roll in the hay" with Walker.
In the screening room, there's a bunch of big jock guys playing some sort of video game. Lester and Jeff are looking on. Lester does not appreciate his store being turned into a frat house by the guys from the "Mighty Jock" sporting good store. Lester tasks Morgan with evicting the ruffians, who apparently brought snacks (tacos!) and are generally trashing the joint. But it's Mitt (what the hell kind of name is that?) and His Merry Band of Maniacs. Morgan thinks it is a suicide mission, but he heads in. He makes up some new rules, which include sharing the Madden football with the other customers, using their indoor voices, and cleaning up after themselves. Mitt (former NY Giant Michael Strahan) seemingly apologizes, but stuffs his taco in Morgan's pocket and then threatens to punch his face in. Which begs the question, what the hell kind of people head to the local electronics store to sit and have lunch and play video games? I mean, I've seen people sitting around watching movies or whatever, or kids standing in aisles playing xBox, but nothing quite like this.
In Super Secret Spy Lair, Chuck, Casey and Sarah gather around the table. Chuck tries to pump Sarah for details on Bryce, but General Beckman interrupts. She's looking pissy. Maybe Roan hasn't gotten there to work his magic on the uptight lady. She informs them that the Fulcrum threat is much worse. There's a microchip on the loose that has classified intelligence about all the spies' covers available for the new intersect. Agent Larkin apparently discovered that Von Hayes (Steve Valentine, a.k.a. that guy from Crossing Jordan) is trying to use his super-geeky brain to decode the chip on Fulcrum's behalf. Mr. Hayes is having a bitchin' party. They have to go undercover as a married couple. Chuck's excited and ready to get his tux cleaned, until Beckman tells him that this mission requires a real spy. [And yet Chuck was good enough for last week's mission, which needed a real spy who was also good with the ladies. Riiiight. - Zach] And then all Mission Impossible-style, with fog (technically freezer vapors) and everything, Bryce comes barging in, making up some bullshit excuse about traffic. Sarah and Bryce will be happily married, while Chuck gets to play waiter. Bryce puts a ring on Sarah, er, Mrs. Anderson's finger, and she smiles sweetly. Chuck looks stunned. Poor guy. It was one thing when he thought she was out of his league, but another thing for him to be very close to his dream, and then lose it. Credits.
Casey and Chuck are back at the Buy More. Chuck tries to get info on the Andersons. Casey wants to know if Chuck's worried that Bryce is going to steal Sarah. Hey. Before I thought he was just being oblivious to Chuck's feelings, now he's just being mean and unsympathetic. Though that's kind of what I like about his character. Moving on. Chuck says things between him and Sarah are strictly professional. And then he sucks up to Casey, saying he wants to learn from the master. Casey loves that someone is stroking his ego, so he happily doles out the info on the microchip recovery mission. It involves Bryce and Sarah being very affectionate. Chuck's not happy. I think I'm sensing the theme of this episode.
Over at the fro-yo shop, Sarah's cleaning. Bryce is hitting on her. She tries to put a stop to it, saying that the Andersons should just be a cover, that they shouldn't get back into a relationship. Bryce looks confused, because he's perfect. Why wouldn't she want him? He tries to shrug it off. Ellie walks by and sees Bryce and Sarah holding hands and talking and smiling.
Chuck sees Morgan with the taco in his pocket (he's not just happy to see his best friend). Chuck says Morgan is never supposed to confront Mitt. He should always go get Casey to do it. That's what the big, intimidating spy muscle is good for. But Morgan hates feeling so small. Chuck clearly relates, but he's trying to be optimistic and saying that they've got brains. Morgan's also got a beard. Now they've got to use their best assets. Ellie runs in to the Buy More. That is never a good sign. She says she was at the Orange Orange (the dumbly named fro-yo shop), to ask Sarah to be a bridesmaid (she's seriously the cutest sister ever) and tells Chuck about the hand-holding. She only saw him from the back, but he seemed classically handsome. Good thing she didn't see the chiseled jaw -- a really good thing, because then she might have recognized him as Chuck's nemesis Bryce and had a whole heap of questions. Like, isn't he dead? Chuck then reassures his sister that things are fine.
Lester's yelling at Morgan for failing at his mission. Morgan's put on his thinking cap. Soon they are sneaking around the store, tumbling, crouching, spotting from ladders so that Morgan can make his way to the circuit breaker and pull the plug on the meathead's fun. Lester and Morgan celebrate their victory, but it is short-lived as Mitt comes out of the room, hoists Morgan up over his head and starts screaming. Now he's tossing the little nerd around and yelling at him for interrupting his game. Mitt says he could have just asked them nicely to leave. Like that would have worked. [Or, you know, they could have called the cops? - Zach] Morgan blames his boss. Mitt makes threatening gestures at Lester and then informs Morgan that both little Buy More employees are getting their asses handed to them after work. Strahan is kind of great in this scene. He might have a shot at this acting thing.
At the hotel, Bryce is spiffed up and taunting Chuck. The two exchange some polite banter about the Buy More, Macbooks and such. And then the topic turns to Sarah. Bryce is staying in Sarah's room to protect his cover, of course. Then he tells Chuck that he hopes that Chuck didn't blur the lines and fall for the smoking hot agent. As if! Atta boy, Chuck. Keep your chin up. Sarah comes out of the bathroom, she looks stunning. Chuck tries to avoid eye contact and basically runs out of the world in a frantic state.
At the fancy Hayes birthday shindig, the Andersons are all about the PDAs. Chuck looks on sadly. Casey's stuck in the truck spouting out orders to Chuck. He sends him to table eight to see if he flashes on anything. But Sarah in her stunning red or salmon (depending on who you ask) dress, dancing with Bryce and stealing the spotlight distracts Chuck. What Chuck doesn't get to hear is the nitpicking that's going on between Bryce and Sarah under their breath as he spins her around. Frankly, she does this booty shake and I'm distracted for a minute. What are they doing here again? Oh, right, Chuck's supposed to try and flash on Hayes. He pours champagne for the birthday boy, but his eye wanders to the sexiness unfolding on the dance floor, and he soaks Hayes. But still no flashes.
As Chuck tries to get a replacement beverage, he shares a conversation with a nameless waiter, who is also admiring the lambada. (The forbidden dance!) Chuck just stares vacantly. Bryce and Sarah exchange intel that they are gathering during their steamy spins. Then they start making out, much to Chuck's chagrin. He drops the bottle of wine he's holding. Hayes is pissed -- it was a thousand-dollar bottle -- and wonders if Chuck was dropped on his head. It's a possibility. Chuck gets fired. But just then a mystery lady from Fulcrum walks up to talk to Hayes. Chuck sees her from the back, but he recognizes her voice and flashes on a burn notice. Now we're getting somewhere, but the head waiter grabs Chuck and tosses him out.
At the Buy More, Jeff says the kids are doomed as their shift has ended. Jeff happily tells Morgan that he'll take care of Anna when he's gone. Anna would rather be drawn and quartered. Morgan tries to put on a brave face in front of his gal, but Lester's being a wimp. Jeff calls him a dead man walking. I don't think the green mile had automatic doors. Morgan almost chickens out, but Anna gives him a pep talk. It's not high school. But Morgan says it is worse. It's Buy More. Anna and Jeff take off, leaving the two guys to meekly stand inside until they can't take it anymore.
Chuck's standing by a door too, but at least he is at a mansion. Casey crankily tells Chuck that he's blown it and needs to get his ass back to the van. But Chuck says he heard an agent... which does them no good at all. Casey's sending Chuck back in, he hacks the security system, but Chuck has to get past the wait staff. He finds a dining room, and hides under the table, when conveniently in walk Hayes and mystery lady. She's none too pleased that Hayes hasn't returned the chip and the decoded intel to Fulcrum yet, and that he's wasting time with a party. He insists it is all ready, but he wants his $15 million first. In response, she shoots his bodyguard.
Hayes freaks, saying the chip is in the vault and he's happy to take her there, but he nervously fumbles his keys, which are in Chuck's line of vision. He flashes on a number of things, including a picture of Casey. Hayes and the mystery woman head out of the room, and Chuck informs Casey that the chip isn't in the vault, it's on the keychain (that's what he flashed on). He saw the Fulcrum agent, who he describes as a psycho elfin queen. At which point said psycho elfin queen leans down and points a gun at his head. She heard him say Fulcrum. That's not good.
Bryce and Sarah are mid-mission to track down Hayes, when Casey tells them that Fulcrum lady has Chuck. Sarah goes racing off after her (which is an admirable feat considering the heels). Bryce tries to change her mind, but it doesn't work. Hayes heads out to an ugly yellow sports car with Bryce on his tail, until he almost gets hit. Chuck's being ushered out the back by the elfin queen, who's got a gun on his back. He babbles about The Hobbit, which is pretty funny, and very Chuck. When Sarah shows up, gun in hand, there's a shoot out. A driver picks up the Elfin Queen, who tosses a purse-sized bomb in Chuck's general direction. Sarah retrieves him and they run off. A car explodes. Chuck's freaked out, and Sarah's unconscious on the ground.
At the hospital, Sarah's okay. Chuck brought her favorite flowers, gardenias. She's pleasantly surprised. He does have some spy skills. Then he sees she's already got a whole wall of flowers from Bryce. Chuck laments that he's always going to come in second to Bryce. Sarah gives Chuck false hope by telling him not always. But to be fair, she does have a concussion. Bryce is incognito by the elevator, and he sees Chuck and Sarah talking. And then Ellie sees Sarah's ex and wants to go give him the what-for. Chuck's apologizing for getting Sarah into this fine mess, but he's not the one who's tasked with bodyguard duty. Awesome approaches Bryce and wants to fix his infected cheek cut, then starts giving him the third degree and basically telling him to lay off so Sarah and Chuck can date. Awesome's all awesome and gives a speech about how, as a cardio thoracic surgeon, he knows the heart better than anyone else (though judging by Grey's Anatomy, this is so not the case), and he knows that they are in love. Bryce is perplexed by this.
The morning at the Buy More, Morgan and Lester are looking worse for wear. They hid out all night to avoid a confrontation with Mitt and his hooligans. But since the nerds didn't come to the mountain, the mountain of a man has come to the nerds. Jeff's got his video camera out. It's going to be just like Faces of Death. Morgan goes to face off against Mitt, who is all intimidating. The gang wants PSPs, and they easily walk off. Bribery. It is the universal language. [Also, it is a matter for the police. - Zach]
In the courtyard, Bryce surprises Chuck. He's worried about Sarah, who went off-mission in order to go after Chuck. Um, that's her job. Or does someone need some reminding? Bryce says that Sarah's feelings for Chuck are going to get her killed. Being sensitive is going to get her killed, because Fulcrum means business. Bryce is all intense, and his eyes are kinda sparkly. Sorry, shiny things always distract me.
Big thug guy (presumably Fulcrum) shows up at the nurse's station to find out where Sarah's room is. The nurse happily tells him, and we see a sleeping Sarah blissfully unaware of the events about to unfold. Probably sweet-dreaming about her twisted love triangle with the dishy super-spy and the nerdy tech whiz, and maybe some visions of sugarplums, too.
At the apartment, Awesome shows up with flowers. They are from Bryce, but for Sarah. He intercepted them. He's like the flower spy. Maybe he could get a CIA job. The card says he'd like to meet in private and has a number, which Chuck calls. He starts ranting against Bryce before he picks up practically. But it's not Bryce. It's Hayes. Chuck introduces himself as Jorge Carmichael, bumbling waiter extraordinaire. He pretends to be Sarah's supervisor and demands the microchip. Hayes is game, so long as Fulcrum doesn't catch him. He's practically crying, because it's horrible living in a Lamborghini. Boo-freakin'-hoo. Though that color yellow would be hard to live around.
At the Buy More, Chuck tells Casey he's made good on all his failings the night before, by negotiating the return of the microchip. Of course there are terms. Hayes wants to only deal with Chuck and full immunity. Simple enough. But wait, there's more. Hayes also wants 4.5 million dollars in unmarked bills. That's a teensy problem.
Sarah wakes up to see smarmy thug in doctor gear checking out her chart. Good news, she's getting released in a few hours. Then he injects a substance into her IV, but being the smart girl she is, she spots the phony ID, kicks him, breaks his arm over the bed and flips him, all while sitting down. She totally rocks this scene, which ends with a needle at thug guy's throat and Sarah demanding to know where the Fulcrum honcho is.
Random train station, which looks like the one from the end of Can't Hardly Wait, Chuck sits with a massive duffle bag, and he does some weird moves that I can't even explain, but they involve eye gestures and shuffling. He and Hayes size each other up, check out the money/microchip and then have a fight about who goes first. Hayes is new at this, as well. Neither has done a hand-off before, so it's awkward to say the least. But Fulcrum picks up on the squabbling, one guy pulls a gun, and Hayes starts running. Casey is rightly miffed, as he and Bryce take off after Hayes. They leave Chuck with the big bag 'o money. There's a showdown on the train platform with a skittish Hayes in the middle. Chuck runs up, looking all puffed up: he's got the cash, and he tells the thugs they can have the cash if they leave Hayes. It's that or die in a gunfight. Seems kind of an obvious choice. The main thug grabs the cash, and then they all take off. Hayes is amazed. He even hugs Chuck. Casey's displeased. He may have gotten the microchip back and saved Hayes's ass, but he gave away a boatload of moolah. Casey goes after the cash.
Bryce escorts Hayes out of the building as Chuck tries to justify his spy skills. Then Elfin Queen pops up, with a gun, and points it at Chuck. Hayes runs off like a screaming girl. Bryce calls Chuck a kid, Chuck points out they are the same age. Only Chuck could be upset about being demeaned when he's got a gun pointed at his skull. Sarah is off in the background, Bryce puts down his weapon, and hands over the chip. He asks for Chuck to be released. Bryce asks Sarah if she's got it, and tells her to take the shot. She hesitates, and for some reason Elfin Queen doesn't try to shoot Sarah. But it doesn't matter, because soon she's been shot and is crumpled on the floor, courtesy Casey. Chuck starts freaking out. Casey not only took down the Elfin Queen, but he also collared Hayes and retrieved the big bag of money. I might start calling him Captain Awesome. Bryce gives Sarah a disappointed look.
At Buy More, Mitt and his pals are back. Everyone is disappointed. Morgan goes in to talk to Mitt about their agreement. But the price for a quiet workplace without beatings just went up. Now they want a Playstation 3. Really? Instead of an XBox 360? [Or, you know, a police record that doesn't include extortion? - Zach] Anna tries to defend Morgan, but Mitt is a jerk. Morgan pours a drink over Mitt's head (though he has to climb on a couch to do it). Not his wisest decision, as now he's going to have to clean that up, and he's pissed Mitt off. Out back in the cage, it's a Mitt and Morgan showdown. Just as Morgan is about to get pummeled, strains of "Barracuda" start playing and Anna walks into the cage with what looks like tripods. She's saving her man. Chuck and Casey walk into the back, just in time to catch the action.
Mitt doesn't fight girls, which is great, because she doesn't either. As she opens the tripod and does this awesome twirling sword thing, and then does some moves that I've only ever seen in action movies. She climbs up the freakin' wall, and in a blur Mitt's lying on the ground. I'm totally impressed. So's Casey, who is running a background check on her. He says she'd be great for field work. Agreed. I'd love to see her kick some more ass.
Bryce is back in the courtyard lecturing Chuck about Sarah. You think he'd cut out the middleman and go straight to Sarah. Chuck realizes the gravity of the situation, but he doesn't know what to do. Bryce knows Chuck will do the right thing, like always, because he's a good guy. That's how he wound up in the middle of this whole mess in the first place. Bryce gives Chuck his spy glasses, but Chuck doesn't want them, or to be a real spy. Bryce says it's too late. And tells him that he's looking out for him. And with that, he's off again into the night.
At the super secret spy lair, Sarah defends her actions to Casey. Casey ignores her. So she walks off and sees Chuck sitting by the fountain. They've got stuff to talk about before dinner. He thinks she's amazing, everything he ever wanted, and he dreams about how it would be if they didn't have to have a fake relationship. He can't wait to get the Intersect out of his head so they can get on with their lives. But he says they can never have a future together, because it would never really be real, because she's got too many secrets. He wants more than that from his girlfriend. He can't live with her spy lifestyle and not knowing what she's doing. He just wants a normal life. And would like to have a normal girlfriend. She can't be there. She assures him that when the Intersect is no longer occupying his brain, he'll forget about her. Doubtful. Chuck looks like he's going to cry. There's some sniffling, from Sarah. They both are miserable about the split. And then they have to return to their fake relationship, which is now really awkward and full of faux smiles.
Ellie's excited to show Sarah the bridesmaid dresses. Awesome says that maybe Chuck is to walk down the aisle. There's a longing look between the two of them. Then later he's alone in his room. Looking at the picture of them together. And he spots the glasses that Bryce left for him. He looks kind of good in the spy glasses. He goofs around doing his best James Bond, when the glasses go all wonky and soon Chuck's receiving an Intersect update. Chuck goes haywire and falls to the ground muttering his hatred of Bryce.
week, Nicole Richie.
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