Ooh, last one of the year. Let's get to it. Oh, but before I do, it may be cold comfort, but congrats on the full-season order, show!
So last time, there was an uber-cliffhanger about whether Sarah would go off with Bryce...except not, because even if you grant that they might have written her off the show, they showed her in the "Week On" segment. Seems like kind of a waste. Anyway, we open at the Buy More, where, over a slow hip-hop song about pimp juice, there's a slo-mo montage of the employees looking like they're doing some high-stakes gambling...only they're playing dreidl. Hee. Apparently, Lester is Jewish, and he's the ringleader here as he hits a gimmel and wins the whole pot. (I got to play dreidl with my Jewish neighbors when I was a kid, with chocolate coins as stakes. Awesome benefit of growing up in New York.) Chuck, however, isn't participating, as he's noticeably looking at the empty space where Sarah's car should be. Casey observes this and joins him, and takes great relish in rubbing Sarah's absence in and taunting Chuck about the possibility that she's taken off to join Bryce. "Don't worry. I hear there's a great selection of new handlers in this year's CIA Christmas catalogue." Hee. Casey leaves, and then Morgan comes up and complains that Anna is cheating on him -- he spied on her the night before, and she got picked up the night before and didn't return for almost three and a half hours. Lester and Jeff are on Chuck's dance card, as they have a job called in from Marina del Rey, but Chuck has to come with them, as it's apparently a store rule that the jester-hat-sporting Jeff isn't to be left unsupervised around the holidays. Jeff, looking half in the bag already, waves a silver Thermos at Chuck and asks if he wants to try his eggnog. Lester waves a cautionary finger, and Chuck's like, "No." Hee. I like Lester quite a bit. I feel like he's what they should have been going for with Morgan, but he and Jeff together are pretty hilarious. After some insinuation of lesbianism on Anna's part, Lester says this is why he doesn't have a woman. Jeff: "Bitches ain't nothin' but tricks and hos." Lester: "You said it, bubbeleh." HEE. See what I mean? Before they head out, Chuck looks once more at Sarah's empty space...
...which can be explained by the fact that she's still in bed. At 9:30, her alarm goes off (you'll be interested to know she wears a sleep mask), and she silences it by rather forcefully hurling a knife into it. Well, that's my first reaction, too, but it's an expensive indulgence. Or it would be, if my aim were anywhere near as good as Sarah's.
On a very sweet yacht, Chuck and his team have just fixed it so most onboard functions are controllable from anywhere on the boat. Jeff then heads downstairs in search of the toilet, only to find himself in a restricted area where two men are using machines to count what looks like lots of high-denomination bills. They quickly get bustled back upstairs, where the captain or whoever explains that the men were counting money from a charity event for an "aid organization." I'm surprised they managed to resist a comment here about how much help Jeff and Lester need. Anyway, the guy who heads the organization is "Lon Kirk," and after the predictable ST: TOS reference, Chuck mentions that Kirk is a billionaire. A passing extra drops a bill, and then two busty and scantily-clad women appear from somewhere and are given quite a bit of cash for, um, something or other. (I already used up my aid joke, dammit.) Chuck then picks up the bill and flashes on it, and the jumble of images makes it clear that it's counterfeit. He breathes, "They're fake," but Jeff, thinking he's talking about entirely different assets, doesn't see the problem. Chuck gives his patented Panic Face as we head into the opening credits.
Hey, Tony Todd's back! According to my closed-captioning, his character's name is Graham, but even though it's slightly longer, I'm going to keep calling him Tony Todd, because really, if you don't know that voice, there's no hope for you. In Casey's apartment, Tony Todd tells them that the serial numbers Chuck flashed on are part of a counterfeit string that Treasury has been trying to crack for years. He and Beckman, the red-haired general, note Sarah's absence, which Chuck tries to cover by saying Sarah's spastic colon is acting up. Tony Todd: "She has no history of that." This is what happens when you're merely a guest star, Tony. Beckman suggests they defer the debriefing, but just then Sarah enters and apologizes for being late, and Beckman ignores Chuck's dumbfounded gaping, or maybe it's just that she's used to it by now. Anyway, the brass tells them that they got a tip that a major counterfeiter is in L.A., trying to buy a new set of printing plates, and Kirk, who ostensibly devotes most of his time to foreign aid projects, is a possible suspect, but he's very well-connected and they should proceed with caution. Beckman goes on that Kirk is hosting a charity event at some yacht club, and they'll go in undercover, with Sarah and Chuck as the couple and Casey, as usual, as the help. Casey tries to stir some shit, but Sarah and Chuck both too-quickly pipe up that there's no problem with that cover. Tony Todd bids them luck, and Sarah hightails it out of there with Chuck chasing after her...
...and outside, Sarah plays it stony and cool, ignoring Chuck's comments about how exciting the life she could have with Bryce would be, but also, by implication, saying that the job she has to do is the only reason she's there. And look, I know they kissed, but still. This is starting to feel like retread. SHE'S A SPY, Chuck. Grow at least a semblance of an outer skin. I love the kid, and this is admittedly part of his charm, but it gets frustrating. They separate, and then Chuck turns back to ask her something, but chickens out and simply inquires about carpooling. She tells him to be at her place at eight.
Buy More. Big Mike has the troops lined up, and he starts to talk about the Christmas party, but at a pointed cough from Lester, amends that to "holiday party." Big Mike then goes over the rules, which are: Jeff can't spike the eggnog, and Jeff can't hold mistletoe over the women and cop feels. Chuck pipes up that if Jeff follows Rule One, "which I'm sure...he might do" (hee), that will likely obviate Rule Two. Mike concedes the point, and then asks who'll be bringing food. Lester steps forward and says he'll be making latkes, but looks taken aback when it looks like Mike isn't going to wait for the pancakes and is instead going to eat him on the spot. Mike is pleased by the offer, and adjourns the meeting, at which point a panicked Lester tells Jeff, "We gotta find out how to make latkes." So Lester's only pretending to be Jewish? Is this just to get people into dreidl? Hey, I've heard worse reasons for converting religions.
Anna finds Morgan in the media room and flirts with him, but Morgan is still bummed about the night before. Anna haltingly confesses that she did lie, but she's not cheating -- her parents are in town from Taiwan "for a charity thing in L.A." Subplots...colliding! You're killing Independent Morgan! Way to go, colliding subplots! Morgan forcefully demands an invitation to meet her parents, and then turns into a block of petrified wood before our eyes when Anna accedes to his wishes.
Casey startles Chuck and gives him some more crap about Sarah and tells him to stay sharp, and then Morgan tells Chuck how dumb he was. Chuck tells Morgan to be himself, but then we see Lester and Jeff are surreptitiously listening, as is their wont, and Lester tells him that he has to be much, much better than himself if he wants to have a prayer of impressing the 'rents. Sorry, Chuck, but I'm going to have to go with Lester on this one, and Morgan agrees with me, which is distressing, but there you go.
Chuck shows up, looking adorable in his tux, although I'm wondering who dressed him if Ellie had to work. He raises his hand to knock, only to hear Sarah call to him that the door's open. Heh. He enters and finds Sarah putting the finishing touches on her makeup, and after a knife-in-the-alarm-prompted comment about Sarah not being a morning person, they mention that Chuck will be using the "Charles Carmichael" alias again. You'd think at least his junk would angle for a different name if it's at all superstitious. After a bit of awkwardness, they head out...
...to the Casino-Night-themed event. As Sarah cases the joint, she tells Chuck that the CIA staked them, and he has "a hundred." And seriously, I saw the joke coming a mile away, but did Chuck really think she meant a hundred bucks? I think they need to sit Chuck down and really give him some training, because miscues like this aren't believable. He's not supposed to be a complete idiot. Has he never seen a Bond movie? While I'm complaining, when are they going to give him some rudimentary hand-to-hand training? I feel like most of the old ladies on my street would be better in a fight. Anyway, after Chuck grabs a martini, Sarah spies Kirk at a roulette table. They sit, and Casey just happens to be the croupier, which...seems a little convenient, given how big the room is. Casey gives Chuck his "one hundred" in chips and then mutters, "Don't lose it." Heh. Kirk introduces himself, glad-handing Chuck while talking about the gratitude of the people of Taiwan, and then gives Sarah's hand a cheesy kiss. Kirk lays out some bets while extolling the virtues of the Taiwanese people and their spirit, and then says he always bets on red, "because it reminds me of all the pain and suffering in the world." No one points out that that means he's trying to profit from said pain and suffering, although Chuck probably would have if his entire face weren't in his martini glass at the moment. Chuck then bets the entire hundred grand on black, and I know this is a highbrow charity event but I still think that might be above the limit. The house can't afford to pay out losses of that magnitude if their short-term luck is bad, can it? Anyway, Casey tries to talk Chuck out of it, but doesn't mention the hundred grand part until it's too late, at which point Chuck gags like he swallowed a jumbo olive. He babbles for a second but then admirably covers, which is good, because while it's already pretty obvious that he doesn't actually belong here, there's no need to remove all doubt. Anyway, the wheel comes up on both red and Kirk's number, which is nice for all those plucky Taiwanese, I guess, and then Chuck starts babbling about mulligans in roulette and OH MY GOD SHUT UP. Like I said, I love him, but it's Episode 11 and he's just going to have to be a touch less wide-eyed about this whole spy thing. Kirk gives Sarah a cheesy wink as he gets up, and Chuck is outraged, but before he and Sarah can get into it, Casey draws Chuck's attention to the burly Asian guy to whom Kirk is now talking, and indeed, Chuck flashes on him -- and his name is "Rashan Chen," the dirty Taiwanese attaché to the Premier. Rashan and Kirk using the charity as a front to launder counterfeit money. We also see that Chen is having some words with Kirk, and when Chen leaves in a huff, Sarah goes over to Kirk and starts flirting with him as Casey smiles to Chuck that they can work out a payment plan later. Heh, but...if they gave him a hundred grand, they should have given him some direction on how to use it. I may be harping here, but seriously: I give the show almost a free pass to be as silly and unrealistic as it needs to, but once it sets up the rules of its universe, it's got to obey them. Also a bit much: Chuck still not getting that flirting is part of the spy job. I mean, does he not remember Carina at all?
When Sarah pulls up to Chuck's place, he asks what she and Kirk talked about, and she tells him he invited her to his yacht the afternoon -- just her. Chuck manages a smile and notes that it's a little disrespectful to her boyfriend, causing Sarah to get all huffy about Bryce, but Chuck meant his alter ego. And...why would Sarah think he was talking about Bryce? There are some little touches off this episode that are really kind of bugging me. It just feels a little lazy. I will give Chuck points for his sign-off as he gets out of the car: "Good luck, and good night." Sarah drives away, leaving Chuck to watch her go.
Okay, hee. "Givin' My Love To You Girl" plays as there's a slo-mo montage of Casey cleaning his Crown Victoria while wearing a T-shirt reading "If Guns Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Guns." Hee. Chuck takes out that trash and does a double-take, and then compliments the car. Casey gets all worked up talking about all the features, including the GPS tracker he had put in, before bringing it back around to the hundred grand Chuck blew. Chuck then asks about Sarah's mission, and this is all retread so I'm going to skip it.
Morgan arrives at a fancy seaside restaurant on his bike; after a bit of fairly amusing business with the valet ("Keep it up front" is a good line) he's inside sitting with Anna and her parents. Anna is wearing an Asian dress and is looking about a billion times more demure than usual, and you'd think Morgan would have picked up on that even the earlier night he saw her, but especially now. However, he's more concerned with Anna's disapproving parents, although most of their disapproval comes from the fact that he's, well, Morgan. Anyway, Morgan has a flash to Lester's advice (and to Jeff asking for any leftover lobster), only he seems to take being "better" as being "like himself, only more so," which is why Anna looks like she might literally tear her hair out before the lunch is over. The "fun" is interrupted, however, when, while the parents are conversing in Chinese, presumably about the daughter's taste in boyfriends, Morgan looks out the window and sees Kirk lathering a bikini-clad Sarah up with oil over on his yacht. Morgan excuses himself...
...and calls Chuck and tells him what's up, describing Kirk as "some creepy Richard-Branson-meets-Willem-Dafoe-looking dude." Wow, that's...so on-the-nose a description I can't even believe it. Morgan babbles and Chuck stares catatonically until Morgan's lobster arrives, at which point he and Chuck are both out of there.
Casey's in full gear and watching the yacht. So...they leave Chuck unsupervised at times like this, or did we just forget about the whole "value of the Intersect" thing? Anyway, Chuck shows up, almost getting shot by Casey, who has little time for his insecurities, although he does take the time to reassure him that they have a whole team in place to back Sarah up. Chuck sees Kirk and Sarah go below decks, and then someone comes on board with a crate, the markings of which trigger a flash about counterfeiting. Chuck babbles that there are counterfeit plates in crates marked as aid medicines, which must be why Kirk brought Sarah down at that moment. Casey warns him that they can't be wrong, but Chuck is sure, so Casey calls for them to go in.
Downstairs, Kirk is just pouring champagne and getting cozy with Sarah when they hear Casey announcing that he's a Federal agent. Kirk appears on deck and gets shirty with Casey, eventually opening a crate himself and showing Casey that it's just medical supplies inside. Kirk then smugly says he'll need all their names and agency affiliations for when he speaks to their bosses' bosses. I'd go with "I.P. Freeley," Casey.
Sarah shows up to Chuck's, and after confirming that Ellie and Awesome aren't in the episode...er, "are at work," she lights into him, accusing him of faking the flash because of his jealousy over the situation. I think she just helped me realize why this is coming off as contrived -- if he weren't this persistently jealous about something he should be inured to by now, there would be no reason for the agents to doubt his word. Anyway, they finally talk about the kiss again, with Sarah saying that it was a mistake, and Chuck wondering if she did it because she has any feeling for him at all. Sarah ends up storming out, and Chuck hangs his head as "O Come All Ye Faithful" plays. Bet that's a first for Zachary Levi.
Morgan comes back into the Buy More wearing a sailor's hat and blazer, Anna at his side, and hands off a Styrofoam container full of lobster to a delighted Jeff. Chuck compliments his look, and asks how the meeting went. Morgan says it was okay, but at a look from Anna, downgrades that to "...ish." Heh. Anna says that he wasn't the Morgan "we've all come to know and love." Well, I'm assuming he wasn't the Easter Bunny either. Big Mike appears, and Morgan says he's going to focus on the starboard side of the store. Big Mike barks at Morgan to get into some regulation clothes "or I'm gonna kick the starboard side of your ass." Hee. Morgan then tells Chuck he's going to tag along with Anna and her parents on some cruise with their hotshot Taiwanese friends, and Chuck and Sarah should join them. At Chuck's boo-boo-kitty face, Morgan remembers or realizes or whatever that Sarah isn't in the picture, and Chuck begs off going.
Casey and Sarah are getting dressed down from their superiors, who order Sarah as well as Casey to stay away from Kirk, despite Sarah's insistence that Kirk doesn't suspect her. Once Tony Todd and Beckman have signed off, Casey turns to Sarah and asks, once and for all, if she compromised herself and the Intersect. Sarah gets a little wistful as she asks if Casey ever wants a normal life. He takes a moment, showing some respect for the question, but earnestly breathes that the choice they made to defend the greater good is the right choice. Sarah takes that in and says she'll talk to Chuck, and if she can't fix this, she'll ask for a reassignment. She leaves. Great little scene, and especially important in light of the Casey-Beckman exchange at the end of the episode.
Chuck is sadly looking at photos of Sarah on his phone when he gets a jpeg from Morgan of him, Anna, and her parents on the yacht. Unfortunately, Chuck quickly realizes something is off, and when he blows up the photo, he sees that it's Rashan's boat, and, given that Rashan has a bunch of crates with the same markings he flashed on earlier, he realizes the plates must be on the yacht. He quickly goes and conveys this information to Casey, interrupting his rapport with a customer over a grill to do so, and Casey's line of "Later. I'm about to move a Beastmaster," is up there with the episode's most hilarious. Hee. Unfortunately, Casey is unwilling to disobey his orders...
...but Sarah isn't, as when Chuck gives her the same spiel, she doesn't hesitate for a second. Of course, she wasn't about to move a Beastmaster.
Sarah and Chuck are sprinting to the yacht at a dead run when Casey catches them -- he couldn't let Chuck go in unprotected. "Plus, I didn't want to miss any gunplay." Aaaaand there's his T-shirt. The three of them run to the harbor and see Morgan on the outgoing yacht doing his best DiCaprio or Winslet, depending on how you see it. Unfortunately, Chuck flashes on the boat, and then reports that there's a GPS missile-tracking device on board, which means that Kirk has his money and is now going to blow the ship up to bury the evidence. Or, you know, to blow it up. Morgan yells "King Of The World!' one more time. Yeah, that didn't work out so hot for Jack Dawson either.
Sarah sees that something is being loaded onto Kirk's boat, and Casey realizes that he's going to follow Rashan's boat out and destroy it. Chuck's worried about his "little buddy," which is kind of cute, and Sarah tells Casey she's going to create a diversion. Casey says he'll take the guards and utters Chuck's name. Chuck's like, I know, wait in the car, but Sarah takes his hand. "Not this time." Good -- he gets in so much trouble waiting in the car anyway.
An Australian guy is helping Kirk get the rocket launcher ready when another one appears and says they have a situation...
...and Kirk comes astern to see Sarah. She tells him she hasn't been able to stop thinking about him, and he deigns to spare her a couple minutes, but then Chuck appears and hilariously overacts his dismay about how she could DO this to him after the Hamptons and South Africa and "Guh-SHTAD!" Hee. She evenly says he doesn't own her, and as their argument continues, we see Casey climb up on the boat, make his way around, and put one of the guards in a sleeper hold. Kirk says he has to go, but then all hell breaks loose, with Sarah going into combat mode as guards thrown by Casey rain down from above. Unfortunately, Chuck's the only one who sees Kirk go below deck, and when he follows, he stops at the doorway, because Kirk is pointing the launcher at him and telling him to get out of the way. Chuck tries to reason with him, but he just blasts the rocket between his legs. Hee. As the rocket gains height and heads out toward Rashan's ship, Chuck, thinking fast, grabs the nearby remote controller and tells the agents that the missile has a GPS device in it, which can be reset. He does some work...
...and on board, after Morgan bothers Anna's parents about the size of the shrimp cocktail, he sees the incoming. "Oh, look! Fireworks!" Little point in disabusing him of that notion at this juncture.
Chuck manages to reset the device, but Casey asks if "reset" doesn't mean "return to sender." Heh. Realizing he's right, they tell him to set another target, but Chuck says he needs one with GPS coordinates. He unhappily gets an idea, and asks Casey about his car, and the sheer terror on Casey's face is a sight to behold. He gives up the code, though, and as the rocket zips by them, he seethes, "I hate this assignment." Aw. The car explodes rather spectacularly, and Casey's mix of rage and despair is truly awesome. God, how I love Adam Baldwin.
Chuck comes in to find Morgan in the break room, and Morgan tells him he got seasick (or shrimp-sick, as Anna predicted), but Anna rubbed his back and helped him clean the shrimp-puke out of his beard. My God, the girl should get hazard pay. He says she's amazing and he's lucky, and Chuck suggests he tell her that instead of telling him. Morgan mentions his privates, and then Jeff comes in and says the doors are closed, and it's time to get polluted. Wow, did he hear Morgan at that distance?
Big Mike is dressed as Santa, and after he gives a little speech, everyone starts dancing to the hip-hop music he puts on, and Chuck even does the robot. Aw. Everyone's having fun except Casey, who, when Chuck goes over to him, seethes that Chuck killed his "dream car." Chuck is like, a Crown Victoria is your dream car? But at the look on Casey's face, he adds, "And why wouldn't it be?" Hee. Casey says that if Chuck wants to make it up to him, he can buy him a new car, and Chuck laughs but then realizes, "You're totally serious." Heh, but...you've seen what Chuck drives, Casey. Let's be slightly realistic here. Modern English's "I Melt With You" kicks up...
...and elsewhere, Lester is cheating at dreidl, calling a win on Nun (which makes you lose your turn). Is a joke about chutzpah too obvious? Morgan pulls Anna away and apologizes for not being himself in front of her parents, and says he only did it because he didn't want her to be embarrassed. She confesses, however, that she didn't want him to meet them because of who she is in front of them -- demure and obedient and not acting like herself. They have a nice moment before going off to do each other on the break room table. I hope people don't really eat off that thing.
Sarah turns up, and Chuck is happy to see her and gives her a present -- a new alarm clock, which he says was on sale. "I should probably scan that thing before you leave the store with it." Heh. He says it's not just a Christmas present, but a thank-you for believing in him when she thought she had reason not to. She confesses that she's not so good at relationships, and he beams at her that he's not either, which means that he's good at pretty much nothing. But she tells him that he's good at his job, not just the Nerd Herd one but the one where he's out there saving lives. And it's worth noting that she's not completely buttering him up here -- he's used his computer expertise, not the Intersect, to save all their lives on multiple occasions. He's adorably flattered, and it seems like maybe they've struck a workable balance in their relationship when they shake hands and agree to be friends. Jeff appears and offers the mistletoe, but Chuck declines in favor of dancing. Jeff: "Lame." Hee.
Casey gets a call from Beckman, who tells him that the beta version of the Intersect was successful. "This means the new Intersect should be up and running soon." Clearly the woman isn't overly familiar with beta testing. As we see she's in a grid-like room with white, luminous panels all over, she tells Casey that soon, it'll be time to "take care of" Chuck. After a pause, Casey acknowledges that. She hopes he hasn't grown too attached to Chuck, but as Casey turns and watches Chuck and Sarah dance, he tells her he understands his orders. She wishes him happy holidays, and we get a final image of Chuck's face on the new Intersect. DUN! Have a great holiday and I'll see you in the New Year!