A man in a blue button-down shirt is being tortured by a man in a stripey button-down shirt. Mr. Blue doesn't know who the other guy is, but Mr. Stripey doesn't care. He has dosed Mr. Blue with a handy concoction that is both poison and truth serum. (Kind of like Palmolive for the young poisoner set.) Mr. Stripey's magic potion takes effect, and Mr. Blue spills that he knows where to find the codes.
Chuck and Sarah are prepping. They don't know if it is too dangerous; they are not sure they are ready. They are also joking, because they aren't rescuing the guy -- they are getting their cover story straight for dinner with Ellie and Awesome! Oh, those two. Their fake date recap is interrupted when Sarah's boss busts into the broom closet where they are hiding for some reason. Acting quickly, Sarah throws Chuck on the ground and pretends they were dry-docking in the closet. Uh, not really better than just talking. The manager is unimpressed and tells Sarah that when "Herr Weinerlicious" signs her paychecks, he is not factoring in five minutes in heaven. Sarah apologizes to Chuck, but Chuck is so stunned with hormones that he is frozen like Kim Cattrall in Mannequin.
Back at the Buy More, Chuck is daydreaming when Rachel Bilson storms in. Oh, Rachel Bilson! I'm so glad Josh Schwartz owns your perky ass and can make you show up on whatever show he's working on. So, Rachel Bilson shows up with a broken Blackberry that contains her entire life. She is panicking, but Chuck, being smooth, suave, and technologically inclined, talks her down. She is freaking out; her whole life is on the phone. He tells her to go to her happy place. Her happy place is a grilled turkey and Muenster sandwich. Which I assume is sort of like the Land of Dairy Queen? But with rivers of cheese instead of chocolate? And turkey instead of tumbling strawberries? Anyway, her name is Lou, and she owns a deli in the mall and often thinks of meats and cheeses. Obviously, Chuck is smitten. He tells her to come back tomorrow and he will have her phone fixed. She leaves without giving him any information or getting a claim slip or anything. Just another example of the fine customer service at the old Buy More chain. Morgan totally busts Chuck for "mind cheating" on his fake girlfriend. He doesn't blame Chuck, though, because Rachel Bilson has hair like licorice that he just wants to chew on it. Hair-chewing? I guess that would explain the beard.
Mr. Blue has stumbled out of captivity and onto a crowded city sidewalk. He heads straight to a mailbox, falls to the ground, and plucks a necklace from the bottom of the mailbox. He thanks God that his codes are safe.
Chuck and Sarah are on their fake date with Ellie and Awesome at a sushi bar. I guess because it is a fake date, they have opted to sit at the counter in a row instead of at a table talking to each other. Chuck orders a crab handroll for Sarah, because he knows she likes them from Kaplan Fake Date Prep beforehand. Awesome thinks it's cute how old-fashioned they are, but he's not talking about the ordering. Oh, no. He is talking about the fact that they haven't made sweet sweet love yet. Ellie looks intrigued. Yeah, I talk about that stuff with my siblings, like, um, never. As Awesome continues embarrassing everyone at the counter, Ellie offers Sarah some edamame, Sarah wipes something off Ellie's sleeve, and Chuck asks if Ellie is ever going to retire her sweater. Nice work, team! Olympic-quality subject-changing. Ellie says that she is keeping her sweater, because it is her lucky sweater and she met Awesome when he asked if LL Bean stole the color from her eyes. Which is a really odd pick-up line, but whatever works. As they stand outside the restaurant, Mr. Blue stumbles down the sidewalk in front of them and collapses. Doctor Ellie springs into action and gets the guy into an ambulance. Chuck is so proud that he shouts her full name to the crowd and, of course, to Mr. Stripey, who is standing right there. Traffic grinds to a halt as everyone rubbernecks at the stupidity of that scene. Finally, a TV Cop pulls up and gets traffic going: Move it along, folks. Totally normal plot contrivance! Nothing to see here! They had to make the plot work somehow! Ellie shoves Mr. Blue's wallet at Chuck and tells him to look for a medical ID. When Chuck pulls it from the wallet, he flashes on it. Mr. Blue is not such a nice guy. And he has just slipped the necklace with the codes into Ellie's lucky sweater.
A man in a blue button-down shirt is being tortured by a man in a stripey button-down shirt. Mr. Blue doesn't know who the other guy is, but Mr. Stripey doesn't care. He has dosed Mr. Blue with a handy concoction that is both poison and truth serum. (Kind of like Palmolive for the young poisoner set.) Mr. Stripey's magic potion takes effect, and Mr. Blue spills that he knows where to find the codes.
Chuck and Sarah are prepping. They don't know if it is too dangerous; they are not sure they are ready. They are also joking, because they aren't rescuing the guy -- they are getting their cover story straight for dinner with Ellie and Awesome! Oh, those two. Their fake date recap is interrupted when Sarah's boss busts into the broom closet where they are hiding for some reason. Acting quickly, Sarah throws Chuck on the ground and pretends they were dry-docking in the closet. Uh, not really better than just talking. The manager is unimpressed and tells Sarah that when "Herr Weinerlicious" signs her paychecks, he is not factoring in five minutes in heaven. Sarah apologizes to Chuck, but Chuck is so stunned with hormones that he is frozen like Kim Cattrall in Mannequin.
Back at the Buy More, Chuck is daydreaming when Rachel Bilson storms in. Oh, Rachel Bilson! I'm so glad Josh Schwartz owns your perky ass and can make you show up on whatever show he's working on. So, Rachel Bilson shows up with a broken Blackberry that contains her entire life. She is panicking, but Chuck, being smooth, suave, and technologically inclined, talks her down. She is freaking out; her whole life is on the phone. He tells her to go to her happy place. Her happy place is a grilled turkey and Muenster sandwich. Which I assume is sort of like the Land of Dairy Queen? But with rivers of cheese instead of chocolate? And turkey instead of tumbling strawberries? Anyway, her name is Lou, and she owns a deli in the mall and often thinks of meats and cheeses. Obviously, Chuck is smitten. He tells her to come back tomorrow and he will have her phone fixed. She leaves without giving him any information or getting a claim slip or anything. Just another example of the fine customer service at the old Buy More chain. Morgan totally busts Chuck for "mind cheating" on his fake girlfriend. He doesn't blame Chuck, though, because Rachel Bilson has hair like licorice that he just wants to chew on it. Hair-chewing? I guess that would explain the beard.
Mr. Blue has stumbled out of captivity and onto a crowded city sidewalk. He heads straight to a mailbox, falls to the ground, and plucks a necklace from the bottom of the mailbox. He thanks God that his codes are safe.
Chuck and Sarah are on their fake date with Ellie and Awesome at a sushi bar. I guess because it is a fake date, they have opted to sit at the counter in a row instead of at a table talking to each other. Chuck orders a crab handroll for Sarah, because he knows she likes them from Kaplan Fake Date Prep beforehand. Awesome thinks it's cute how old-fashioned they are, but he's not talking about the ordering. Oh, no. He is talking about the fact that they haven't made sweet sweet love yet. Ellie looks intrigued. Yeah, I talk about that stuff with my siblings, like, um, never. As Awesome continues embarrassing everyone at the counter, Ellie offers Sarah some edamame, Sarah wipes something off Ellie's sleeve, and Chuck asks if Ellie is ever going to retire her sweater. Nice work, team! Olympic-quality subject-changing. Ellie says that she is keeping her sweater, because it is her lucky sweater and she met Awesome when he asked if LL Bean stole the color from her eyes. Which is a really odd pick-up line, but whatever works. As they stand outside the restaurant, Mr. Blue stumbles down the sidewalk in front of them and collapses. Doctor Ellie springs into action and gets the guy into an ambulance. Chuck is so proud that he shouts her full name to the crowd and, of course, to Mr. Stripey, who is standing right there. Traffic grinds to a halt as everyone rubbernecks at the stupidity of that scene. Finally, a TV Cop pulls up and gets traffic going: Move it along, folks. Totally normal plot contrivance! Nothing to see here! They had to make the plot work somehow! Ellie shoves Mr. Blue's wallet at Chuck and tells him to look for a medical ID. When Chuck pulls it from the wallet, he flashes on it. Mr. Blue is not such a nice guy. And he has just slipped the necklace with the codes into Ellie's lucky sweater.
Chuck and Sarah are at the apartment, anxiously waiting for Ellie to get back from the hospital. Captain Awesome is exer-cycling in the background, which is a great thing to do when you have company. Since Sarah is at the apartment past curfew, Awesome gives Chuck a sex pep talk since its been a while since he "took his bike out for a ride" and he needs to "keep his chain oiled." And...ew. Ellie walks in and saves us all from further Awesomeness. Ellie announces that although they tried everything, the guy died. When Ellie retires to bed, Chuck tells Sarah that his real life and his spy life are getting too close for comfort. Sarah tells him to chill and then calmly announces that it is time they made love. You know, for the sake of the cover. That may be a worse line than the one about LL Bean. But, you know, whatever works.
The morning, the lady top-brass NSA/CIA general is filling Sarah and Casey in on the five Ws of Mr. Blue. He was a programmer for a top-secret program called Sanctuary, and he disappeared with all the details for the entire nuclear arsenal embedded on a chip. This does not make him a bad man, though, according to Lady Top Brass. Sarah says that Chuck is not wrong very often. Casey points out that Chuck is, however, annoying all the time. Heh. He said it. Lady Top Brass tells Sarah to take Chuck to the morgue and see what there is to be seen with Mr. Blue.
Back at Buy More, Morgan is back from lunch on time, because Big Mike has him working on this week's lame subplot. This time, it's a "top secret" project involving helping Harry Tang's wife pick out an anniversary present. Harry Tang's wife turns out to be the wife of Francis from Malcolm In The Middle. She's pretty funny for an Asian stereotype. She's buying a plasma TV for a man who works in an electronics store. She gives Morgan a hug that is captured on tape by two of the Nerd Herders.
Rachel Bilson is back, and she wants the verdict on her phone. When Chuck tells her it's fine, she is so excited that she doesn't seem to notice that Chuck went through all her contacts and found the number for her "Nana." Instead of thinking it is totally stalker-creepy, Rachel Bilson gives Chuck a sandwich. It's the turkey and Muenster on egg bread from her safe place. She's named it after him. He is honored. Sarah interrupts his mind-cheat on their fake relationship. Chuck gets flustered, and Sarah introduces herself to Lou as Chuck's girlfriend. Rachel Bilson tells him to refrigerate his sandwich because she doesn't want "the Chuck" to make him sick. There's got to be an upchuck joke in their somewhere, but I am too lazy to make it. And apparently, so were the writers. Sarah tells him to get a move on, because they are headed to the morgue.
Casey meets Sarah and Chuck at the morgue. Chuck is not dealing with the whole dead-body thing very well. As Sarah and Casey work over the body, back at the apartment, Ellie is getting worked over by Mr. Stripey. He's wearing a cop uniform and taking her statement about the incident. He asks her several times whether or not Mr. Blue transferred anything to her. Then he asks to take her photo for the record. Instead of drop-kicking his creepazoid ass to the curb, she sits up straight and smiles. In the morgue, Sarah has pulled a listening bug off of Mr. Blue's ear. It was hidden behind a flap of fake skin. Mr. Stripey then fixes Ellie's hair for the photo and plants the exact same bug on her without her even noticing. Those spies are sneaky! Casey has identified the poison that killed Mr. Blue as a toxic truth serum. They send a sample to the lab. The fake cop hands Ellie a pen to sign the fake affidavit. Turns out the pen is fake, too! When Ellie clicks it, it shoots some magic dust on her. She doesn't notice that, either.
Chuck goes to visit Sarah at Weinerlicious. She wants to make sure they are ready for their mission tonight. You know, the sleeping-together mission. Chuck assures her that he is ready. He then spies Rachel Bilson in the parking lot and runs to apologize to her. Or hit on her. Or both. She points out that he doesn't have to be single to fix her phone, but she really likes him, and their vast height difference intrigues her. As a five-foot girl, I have to say: Hee! Chuck tries to explain the Sarah situation, but can't for national security reasons. Rachel Bilson tells him to look her up if his situation gets less complicated. Sarah watches the whole scene from the Weinerlicious parking lot.
The Nerd Herders show Harry Tang the video of his wife hugging Morgan and him telling her to meet him in the home-theater room at midnight. Harry Tang insists on watching it again and again.
Chuck is setting the mood for his mission with Sarah. Think more candles, less fluffing. She barges in and points out that she is just sleeping over for cover. He looks disappointed until she takes off her overcoat to reveal a purple lacy thing. She says it is just for cover, but, as Chuck notes, it barely covers anything. She says it is what a real girlfriend would wear, ergo, it's professional. Chuck scoffs, "Yeah, the oldest profession." Meanwhile Casey has set up his Ronald Reagan photo and his Chuck listening devices. Who wouldn't want to hear a fake make-out session? You know who else is listening? Mr. Stripey. Ellie and Awesome are in their room, and when Awesome asks if she thinks Chuck is going to seal the deal with Sarah, Ellie snaps. She launches into a tirade so honest that she even tells Awesome that saying everything is awesome means it is really mediocre. Oh, snap! As Ellie and Awesome argue, Chuck and Sarah feel the need to talk about their relationship. Chuck wants to know the rules. Is he allowed to date other people? Chuck! This is not HBO, this is prime time! On the network! No threesomes! Except for Two and a Half Men, of course. Sarah says dating is their cover, and besides, dating anyone else would be awkward, because any girl he dated would have to be vetted. Just then, Ellie bursts into the room and spills some hard truths about Chuck's big-boy nature, his animal-shaped hair, and the fact that she stole money from his piggy bank when he was seven. As Awesome drags Ellie out of the room, the doorbell rings. It's Casey in his jammies. Ellie tells him he looks like Dennis the Menace's dad. It's funny 'cause it's true! Casey sends Awesome off in pursuit of milk and then says he's getting crosstalk from another bug. He searches the room. Ellie collapses on the couch and they find the bug behind her ear. Looks like the fake cop gave her some real poison.
At the hospital, Casey reports that the video surveillance showed the fake cop interviewing Ellie. If the fake cop is grilling the doctor, he obviously doesn't know where the chip is. Sarah and Casey are trying to come up with a plan to get the chip, but Chuck is distracted by his sister's imminent death. Sarah tries to assuage his fears, since the medical department at the CIA is working on an antidote for Ellie, but Chuck is rightly worried, since Mr. Blue died in a matter of hours. Casey says the only clue they have is the bug they pulled from Ellie's ear. Chuck grabs the bug and yells in it something like, "We have the chip and the codes but we'll leave them with the lady doctor for now." Casey grabs the bug and congratulates Chuck on his plan to get the bad guy to come to them. Then he says that if Chuck ever does it again, he'll kill him.
Chuck sits by Ellie's bed and tells her that he will fix it. Because not only is he her brother, but he has all these government secrets in his head. Awesome comes into the room with Ellie's lucky sweater, because he thinks she could use it. As Chuck wraps it around his comatose sister, he finds the necklace with the microchip.
Meanwhile, Sarah and Casey have laid a trap for Mr. Stripey (who, in all truth, is now wearing a tight black v-neck shirt). Sarah wears a cheap black wig and lies in bed pretending to be Ellie. When Mr. Stripey follows the signal to the room, Sarah and Casey nab him. He out-ninjas them, though, and pulls two vials out of his pocket to make them a deal: he can either give them the antidote for Ellie in exchange for the codes, or he can poison them with his truth serum and make them tell him where the codes are, and then, you know, they can die. As they are weighing their options, Chuck barrels into the room, hollering about finding the codes and swinging the necklace around like a lasso at a hog-tying contest. In his exuberance, he knocks a cart into Mr. Stripey, causing him to drop the vial of poison. Mr. Stripey grabs the necklace out of Chuck's hand and runs for it with Casey and Sarah in hot pursuit. You know wacky truthfulness is about to ensue. And it does! As Mr. Stripey makes his escape, Casey lobs a crutch at him and knocks the antidote loose. Sarah grabs it before it breaks on the floor. She and Casey insist Chuck take it, because he is the national security supercomputer. He refuses, because Ellie, Sarah, and Casey are all poisoned. Sarah and Casey tell him he has to. Casey threatens him a little. The truth serum kicks in, and Chuck admits that he is just going to pretend to take it and then run and give it to his sister. Casey says he will shoot Chuck, but then admits that he won't really, and Chuck runs for it.
Chuck gives Ellie the antidote and then sits in the hallway and kvetches with Sarah and Casey about how he is going to die. On the plus side, he doesn't have to come up with another five-year plan. Just as he is about to settle in for a good long sulk, he spies the spy's (ha!) tracking device on the ground. When he picks it up, he flashes on Mr. Stripey. Mr. Stripey is an ex-gymnast who blew out his knee and now sells atomic secrets on the black market. Is that what Kerri Strug is doing these days? Geez, life after the Wheaties box is tough! To the hot beats of Britney Spears (really!), Chuck, Sarah, and Casey track down Mr. Stripey to his lair. As Chuck tells Sarah that she's pretty and tells Casey that his jaw was chiseled by Michelangelo, they knock on Mr. Stripey's door. Mr. Stripey asks who is there, and Chuck announces it's the NSA, CIA, and him. Then they bust the door down and point their guns at Mr. Stripey until he tells them where the antidote is. Just as they are about to swallow it, Chuck stops them. He's read enough comic books to know that the villain should sample the antidote first. You would think that point would be stressed in either the CIA or NSA employee manual, right? In Stan Lee veritas. When called on his bluff, Mr. Stripey literally cartwheel-back handspring-back flip-round-offs right out of there and is about to escape (again!) when Sarah shoots him in the knee. Casey applauds her unsportsmanlike conduct. They tie up Mr. Stripey, who tells them where to find the antidote, key, and codes. Before they take the antidote, Chuck asks Sarah the truth. The truth about whether they have a future aside from their cover story. She says no and gulps down her antidote faster than a Jager shot during pledge week. Chuck looks chagrined and takes the antidote.
The Lady Top Brass congratulates the team on a job well done. The have the codes and the nuclear arsenal is safe. Yay! Go nukes!
It's midnight, and Harry Tang has it out for Morgan. He pulls out his key, unlocks the home theater room, and SURPRISE! It's a secret government meeting! Sarah and Casey have their guns trained on Harry Tang's head faster than you can say "Harry Tang." Lady Top Brass demands to know who has infiltrated the home theater room. Harry Tang tries to walk slowly out of the room, but Casey and Sarah tell him to stop. Casey offers to take care of it. He convinces Harry Tang that he knew all along that Casey and Sarah were government agents. Harry is so smart that they want him to relocate to Oahu and await further orders as to how he can help his country. Harry Tang agrees to leave the Buy More and serve his country. Please let President Bush send Harry Tang to Afghanistan. They have DVRs that need programming in Afghanistan, right?
Morgan runs into Big Mike in the employee break room. Big Mike tells him to change the shipping address on Harry Tang's plasma TV to Oahu. Morgan can't believe Harry Tang is gone and he is free! Big Mike is happy that Harry Tang is gone, too. Turns out Big Mike gave Harry Tang the assistant manager job out of guilt for diddling his wife for the last six months! I think that confession even managed to gross out Morgan! Harry Tang is gone!
Chuck charges into Weinerlicious. He has been thinking about things. He has a list of things he wants to do, and his increasingly frequent near-death experiences make him want to check things off that list a little faster. First on that list? He wants to break up with Sarah. Ouch! Apparently, the more they try to convince everyone that they are in a relationship, the more he ends up fooling himself. Sarah tries to look like she is okay with getting dumped by her fake boyfriend, but when she watches Chuck head straight to Rachel Bilson's Magic Deli of Delights, she looks upset. Turns out she may have been lying through her truth serum. And now Chuck will never know. At least not until sweeps.