Recap: Chuck got kicked out of Stanford.
The show opens on a typical college classroom. The Professor is lecturing on the subconscious and how to penetrate the human mind (not literally, I hope!). The Prof asks the class to think about compressed images with special encoding. The kids claim to see only one image, but the Professor shows them that there are actually hundreds of images hidden inside the one! The image contains all sorts of hidden information. No way! ...Wait a minute. That seems strangely familiar. Where have we seen that before? Oh, right, in Chuck's head in every freaking episode. The kids are suitably impressed until the Prof mentions that he is including a section on subliminal image recognition on The Final; then, the kids look suitably chagrined. The Prof notices a creepy, lurking, angry Aryan dude in a leather jacket in the back of the classroom. The Professor immediately ends class, cuts off his eager-to-learn suck-ups, and makes a run to his office. He dials his phone as he scampers and says that a hostile has been encountered. He then confesses that he copied intel for himself onto a disk and they are after it. As the Angry Aryan approaches, the Professor locks himself in a closet. As the Angry Aryan pulls out a really big knife, the Professor disappears down a trap door. Ooh, a trap door! He must be CIA!
Back at the Buy More. Morgan interrupts Chuck on the phone by announcing that there are spies at the Buy More. This freaks Chuck out enough to hang up the phone and look around frantically. Morgan then launches into an elaborate analogy between Harry Tang and Sauron and needing Chuck's help to save the break room from the new Rules that Harry has laid down the way Frodo helped destroy the Ring. Which would be funny, except that Morgan looks so much like a hobbit I can't decide whether it's funny or just sad. Harry Tang interrupts them to get all managerial on their asses. Chuck notices that Harry Tang is wearing an assistant manager polo shirt that is monogrammed, and he realizes that Harry Tang must be stopped. But not this second, because Casey is beckoning. Chuck follows Casey into the screening room (which is apparently never used for Buy More purposes), where Sarah and the satellite-linked CIA and NSA heads are waiting. Chuck notes that the new hi-def TV really shows every wrinkle. Casey points out that they can hear him, and Chuck tries to cover by saying he meant every twinkle. In her eye. Which would be a nice save, but the lady ain't listening. They tell Chuck about the Professor and explain that he is a company man, and that he has gone missing and has contacts in L.A. They want Chuck's help because Chuck knows the Professor: he's the one who kicked Chuck out of Stanford. Chuck does not want to help save this guy at all. Everyone else wants him to help, though, because his personal connection to the Professor and Stanford will give them the insight they need to track him down. He really, really doesn't want to. Can you guess where this is going?
At the apartment, Captain Awesome and his cronies (does that sound like a band, or is that just me?) are playing football in the really small courtyard. Apparently, the UCLA frat boys are driving up to the football game at (can you guess?) Stanford! Captain Awesome throws the ball at Chuck's balls and totally hits 'em! What is this, The Three Stooges? To make up for the crippling injury, the so-called doctor offers Chuck two tickets to the game. Do they teach that in med school, "Doctor"? Chuck says he would rather get hit in the produce again than go back to Stanford. Ellie thinks Chuck should go. Which is really weird, in my opinion. Why does no one, not even Ellie, his supposed surrogate mother, realize that getting kicked out of hoity-toity Stanford and being forced to work at the Buy More might be kind of painful for Chuck? Why do they insist on bringing it up all the time and rubbing it in his face? Is it just my WASPy repression that makes it seem like bringing it up all the freakin' time is wrong? Whatever. Chuck still doesn't want to go.
Chuck goes to his room and pulls out a box of Stanford memories. He finds a picture of Bryce, and while Oasis's "Don't Look Back in Anger" plays, Chuck has a flashback to 2003. Apparently the writers have been watching a lot of Cold Case. In the flashback, Chuck has packed up his belongings and is leaving the frat house, which, of course, raises the question: since when do they let gamer/D&D/Star Wars aficionado-types into frats? Oh, right, this is Stanford. They're all like that. As Chuck leaves the frat, he sees Bryce staring down a pool ball. Chuck asks why he is doing this, and Bryce tells Chuck he did it to himself. Back in real time, Chuck heads to the dumpster and throws his Stanford memories away. He drops his ID, and when he picks it up to throw it out, he flashes on himself. He looks freaked and goes to knock on Casey's door. Casey obviously has his gun out (what better way to ward off those pesky door-knocking assassins? Not to mention Mormons!) Chuck wants to know why he is in the national security computers. Casey and Sarah don't know. Maybe if they find the missing Professor, he can tell them. You think? The CIA interviewed witnesses who identified the Angry Aryan as an Icelandic spy. And, yes, Iceland has spies, although unofficially. And this spy? The crossbow is his favorite weapon. Can you guess where this is going?
Harry Tang is drunk on power. He's staggered the lunches so no one can eat together. As Chuck and Morgan bemoan the loss of Surf-n-Turf Wednesdays, Anna suggests he could have an "accident." As Morgan rebelliously tears down the lunch schedule, Harry Tang appears. And he's gone green. Not literally. More Al Gore than Jolly Green Giant. He plans on making the store more green to appeal to the emerging conscience of the consumer. Harry Tang and NBC: two peas in a green, green pod. As he re-tacks the schedule on the bulletin board, he threatens Morgan by telling him he is soft like pudding, touching his stomach, and licking his finger. I guess that makes him finger-licking good. Which he is not. Not at all. No way. Unless you like hobbits. Which I do not. Out on the Buy More floor, Casey hands Chuck a printout of a traffic photo showing that Professor Fleming is still alive and still at large. Chuck asks Casey if he offered to kill Harry for Anna. Casey asks if he wants him to want to. Don't kill the man, Casey, just the storyline. Casey says that he wants Chuck to come with him while they interview the Professor. Chuck thinks it's a bad idea. He has another flashback to 2003, where the Professor is grilling him about the final exam he just took. He accuses Chuck of stealing the answer key out of his desk. They received a tip and searched his room. They found the key. And they know he is selling copies of the answers, too. Chuck denies it all. But when the Professor says the tip came from Bryce, his own beloved roommate, Chuck looks defeated.
Morgan and the Nerd Herd are playing some game involving flipping through the channels and identifying the television show as quickly as possible. Obviously, we do this at all TWoP holiday events. Even more obviously, Harry Tang quickly puts the kibosh on the shenanigans. He holds the one remote that controls them all. See how they just slipped that Lord Of The Rings reference in there? See how they did that? Those wacky writers! They totally deserve those residuals! There will be no more games on the floor at Buy More. Morgan points out that there are no customers. Harry Tang points out that there are three repair orders and clean up in the diaper-changing area. Guess who gets stuck on diaper-doody duty!
Sarah, Casey, and Chuck go to "extract" the Professor. Chuck actually waits in the car. And you would think they would stop leaving him in the car, wouldn't you? Don't they know trouble always ensues? It's like falling asleep under a tree in a fairytale. So while he's waiting in the car, Chuck sees the Professor, who somehow instantly surmises that Chuck is now part of the Company. They swap stories, and the Professor tells Chuck some cool CIA lingo. Namely, in a real emergency, the spies say, "Are you coming to the toga party?" I typed that out for a reason, I swear. Just as Chuck is about to find out why the CIA has a file on him, the Professor says, "I'm sorry," and leans in for a hug. Only, it's not a hug at all! The Professor has a crossbow in his back! Or rather an arrow from a crossbow! And another arrow knocks the paper out of the Professor's hand! It was important! It had something to do with Bryce! The Icelandic Assassin is here! And he is mad! But he is not interested in a lowly Nerd Herder. He leaves Chuck under the St. Sebastian-ed Professor as Sarah and Casey show up with guns blazing. Seriously guys, stop leaving Chuck in the car.
Later, Sarah and Casey show up at Chuck's window, insisting that they talk. The Professor is in surgery, but until he wakes up, they need to know stuff. What did he say to Chuck? Nothing, really. What was on the piece of paper? Numbers. Casey can't help mentioning that for a guy with a computer for a brain, Chuck is pretty lousy at remembering stuff. Chuck gets all defensive and points out that it was a pretty stressful situation. Casey is nonplussed. Chuck asks Sarah why Fleming apologized right before he fell. Sarah doesn't know, but Chuck thinks it has something to do with the computer now residing in his head.
Ellie is still trying to convince Chuck to drive up to Stanford to watch the UCLA game in hopes that it will help him get over the past. He still refuses to go. Not only because of the constant, painful reminder of his failures, but because he does not want to be in a car with Awesome and his bros for the entire five-hour trip. He sure talks a lot of trash about frats, considering he was in one. Pot, kettle; keg stand, beer pong. Ellie pulls out a copy of The Decline Of Western Civilization, a library book Chuck still has not returned. She asks him if he wants her to return it for him. He rightfully reasons that it's not like Stanford is going to expel him if he keeps it. He looks at the book for a second, and then he has another flashback. This time, he and Bryce are playing shoot-'em-up in the library. Chuck thinks he has Bryce cornered, but Bryce's CIA training has paid off, and he totally nails Chuck in the head by faking him out with what looks to be an interesting read. Chuck realizes that the numbers on the Professor's piece of paper are the Dewey Decimal address of a secret Bryce hiding place. Since the Professor doesn't know that Bryce is dead, Chuck reasons that he must have left the missing intel there for Bryce to find. Chuck has to go back to Stanford to find it. Did you see that coming?
Stanford is prepping for its big game against UCLA. There is a lot of drinking and blue face paint and general tailgating madness. Chuck tells Ellie and Awesome he will meet them at the stadium so he can give Sarah the Chuck Bartowski Memorial Tour. Ellie doesn't seem to notice that Casey is standing right there and has totally tagged along on their trip. But a young, earnest environmental campaigner does! He asks Casey to buy a Stanford tree. Casey says that if the guy wants to save the environment, he should take a shower. Heh. Gotta love a hippie joke. Here's another: How can you tell if a hippie has been in your house? He's still there! Want another? Okay! What brand of cigarette does a hippie smoke? Yours! I could go all night. Anyway. Chuck is having I-got-kicked-out-of-college-for-something-I-didn't-do issues. He needs to talk. He gets over it quick-like and gets on to saving the world. Casey has made them all Stanford IDs so they can access the library. He apologizes to Chuck for stealing his ID, but not being able to Photoshop out the idiotic grin. Heh. As Chuck swipes his ID at the library, the security guard picks up his walkie-talkie and tells someone they have a problem.
Meanwhile, talk about problems! This Harry Tang storyline will not go away no matter how many Salisbury steak TV dinners I sacrifice to the television gods. Christ. Morgan has gathered the Buy More crew members and has hatched a brilliant plan to steal Harry Tang's uber-remote and render him impotent. Anna volunteers to get the remote. She uses her feminine wiles and her knowledge of managerial vocab, and she gets the keys to his locker, where he stores his remote. Sigh.
Back at the library, Chuck leads Sarah and Casey to Bryce's secret hidey-hole. With the help of a quick flashback, Chuck finds the hidden intel. Just as they are about to make like a drum and beat it, an angry librarian tracks Chuck down and demands $292 in late fees. D'oh! Chuck asks if they take credit cards. Casey has espied some spies (oh, come on, I had to!) lurking at the end of the stack of books. Casey and Sarah order Chuck to run while they hold off the gunmen and, presumably, the librarian. Chuck hightails it back to the tailgating. He scrambles under a table and into Casey. In a super-awesome move, Casey elbows some guy in the face. As the guy goes down, they make a run for it.
Morgan finds the remote in Harry Tang's locker. Unfortunately, one of the Nerd Herders has betrayed him for the low, low cost of a Buy More polo shirt. Harry condemns Morgan to The Pit. I don't know what that is, but it's got to be better than The Pit where they condemn Wesley in The Princess Bride, right?
We will have to wait and see, because we cut back to Stanford. Casey, Sarah, and Chuck have found a lecture hall. They want to see what the Professor took. It turns out to be interviews and background data on CIA recruits. Since many of the recruits are now active members, the data is really important. On the disk, they see Bryce's file, and then they see Chuck's. Since Chuck doesn't remember applying to be in the CIA, he wants to click on the file, despite the protests of Sarah and Casey. Just as he is about to open the file, the room is overrun with Icelandic spies. Chuck wishes he were waiting in the car. He makes a run for it. Again. He finds an open lecture hall and calls in the troops. He remembers the names he saw on the disk and starts cold-calling them using the code words Professor Fleming gave him right before he got shot. Remember? They are: Are you coming to the toga party? At the mere mention of these seven little words, the young recruits spring into action. In the midst of the mayhem, Morgan calls. Chuck takes the call. Morgan doesn't care that it's not a good time. He needs Chuck's help. He is in The Pit helping customers, which is not quite as bad The Pit from The Princess Bride. Then again, retail customer service is a bitch. Morgan wants the override code to Harry Tang's master remote. Instead of hanging up on him, Chuck gives Morgan the code. Just in case it ever comes up in Trivial Pursuit, Mediocre Television Edition, the code is OU812#. Chuck finally hangs up as he feels the threat of cold steel trained on his very valuable head. It's the Icelandic Assassin and his crossbow of death. Sarah and Casey have not come to his rescue, because they are surrounded and running out of ammo. They duck down and regroup. They are low on bullets, but they're going to go for it, because Casey hates long goodbyes. Just as they are about to Alamo it, the new recruits bust into the room, heavily armed and ready to rumble. The bad guys give up. But this does not help Chuck, who still has an arrow pointed at his head. Just as it looks like it is curtains for Chucky, some young lass Jackie Chans the Icelandic Assassin in the noggin, saves the intel, and rescues Chuck, who thanks god that she checks her voicemail. Heh.
At the Buy More, Harry Tang realizes that Morgan has reprogrammed his remote. Morgan offers to fix it...for a price. He wants out of The Pit, and if Harry Tang doesn't let him out of The Pit, he will turn all the televisions to Passions or something. Harry caves. I'm bored.
Awesome, Ellie, and Chuck are back at their apartment and bemoaning the fact that the Stanford-UCLA game was a wash. Awesome heads to the shower and tries to figure out why the blue paint that his friends picked up won't come off. (Seriously, he's a doctor? Is there no respect for the medical professional anymore?) Chuck thanks Ellie for dragging him up to Stanford to face his past and finally get over it. She's proud of him. She asks Chuck if he found what he was looking for. He says almost. He goes to his room, puts the CD of stolen intel into his computer, and hits play, only to be interrupted by Sarah who says that he won't be allowed to keep the disc. Chuck says he has to know. She lets him watch the recording. The Professor's face pops up on the screen, and he states that he is interviewing a test subject named Chuck Bartowski. He tells his secretary to send Chuck in. Bryce enters instead. The Prof tries to shoo him out, but Bryce isn't budging. He found out that the Professor put Chuck on the CIA recruitment list. He doesn't want his friend recruited. Bryce won't let him do it, because Chuck is a good person and has too much heart for this line of work.
The Professor says that the Agency is not going to let go of a recruit this promising without a fight. Chuck aced all the tests! They won't let him out. Bryce thinks for a second and then asks, if Chuck cheated, would that invalidate the results? Chuck realizes that Bryce framed him for cheating to save him from the CIA. He then realizes that if Bryce had a good reason to frame him, maybe he had a good reason to break into the fancy NSA-CIA computer! Sarah says he may have had a good reason for everything, but no one can know about it. Chuck points out that no one would believe him anyway. Sarah takes the disc and leaves, pausing only momentarily to tear up because her boyfriend was such a good guy, but is still dead. Chuck goes to retrieve his Stanford memories from the trash. He has another flashback to when he and Bryce met. They met over a C++ textbook. In the flashback, Chuck is embarrassed to admit that he is studying programming so he can build his own videogame based on some book. Bryce tells him not to be embarrassed because "it's 1999, and the millennium belongs to the geek." Chuck, however, has realized that while that may be true, it will not get him laid any time soon, since generally, text-based videogames don't appeal to the ladies. Bryce offers to introduce him to a girl who is into that freak scene, and Chuck gets all excited, and they rush off together. BFF.