We open on a guy about Chuck's age running desperately through some place that's got all the ambience of a bomb shelter. We then see some dude return to his security station and observe the kid on his monitors; a moment later, the guy easily intercepts the kid, drawing his gun and asking with an overconfident smile where he's going. However, he's distracted and dismayed by his monitors suddenly cutting out and the facility's alarms going off, which gives the kid the opportunity to whack the guy repeatedly with the laptop he's been clutching the whole time. The kid takes the now-prone dude's keycard and swipes himself out of there. That was easier than getting out of the NBC/Universal offices, I tell you what. We see the kid emerge from the underground facility and squint in the bright sunlight, and then...
...we cross-fade into Chuck, who has an exchange with a bitchy customer, which is the prelude to letting us know that all the floor salesmen are nowhere to be found...
...because, as Chuck's investigation reveals, they're all in a back room taking bets on whether a shirtless Morgan will be able to eat something out of the "Mystery Crisper," which is, as Jeff explains, "where employee food goes to die." Having had some experience with similar containers in college, I'd be more inclined to describe such food as "undead." Or at least reanimated. Chuck tries to get everyone back to work, but Morgan will not be deterred, as he blindfolds himself and cinematically eats some stuff out of a plastic container, or, I should say, eats it as cinematically as something that's decomposing and mutating at the same time can be eaten. The Asian Nerd Herd girl lasciviously says that Morgan can "eat anything," and you'd think, given that I didn't lose my lunch before this point, I was totally safe. Think again. Also, I know a point was being made with all those unattended customers out there, but there's no way both Harry Tang and Casey weren't elbowing each other out of the way to get the jump on the Salesman of the Month race. Anyway, Big Mike comes in and barks Chuck's name...
...and on the way to Big Mike's office, Harry gives Chuck some lip. Ring up some customers, douchebag. Big Mike then lectures Chuck about how great the medical plan for Big More brass is, and informs him that a guy is coming in from Corporate to interview Chuck and Harry for the assistant manager spot. After saying that Harry has the "charm of a prostate exam," he adds that people like Chuck, so he shouldn't screw things up -- nor should he let Morgan screw them up for him. Perhaps making sure Morgan doesn't projectile vomit on the guy would be a good start.
Chuck arrives home to find Ellie putting up decorations for their Halloween party. Chuck tells her he might be late because of the interview, and Ellie enthuses that he's growing up: "Do you think that this year would be a good idea for you and Morgan to have separate costumes?" Chuck, as the lead character, you get a lot of lines, and it must get to be a strain on your voice. So I'll field this one for you: GOD, yes. Chuck, however, refuses my generous offer, asking Ellie what's wrong with the costume, and she replies that the whole "two-man sea cucumber" thing is creepy. Chuck informs her that it's actually a sandworm, and that Dune fans have "been going nuts" over the costume for a long time. On cue, Captain Awesome appears as Adam, wearing only flesh-colored briefs with a fig leaf painted on them. I'll consider that his gift to me to make up for his absence last week. Also, Phil Klemmer wrote this episode, and if CA's appearance in this outfit wasn't an intentional call-and-response off the word "nuts," I don't know Phil nearly as well as I thought. Giving credence to my theory is CA telling Chuck, "Wait till you see my snake." Hee. Ellie informs CA about Chuck's interview, and he tells Chuck, "That is...outstanding." I really don't want to have to get used to suddenly calling you "CO," dude, but I won't complain if you stay dressed like that. CA just effing rocks, though. He's so genuinely supportive. Chuck's phone then rings, and it's Big Mike, who's pissed because Morgan's supposed to be working a double shift and is AWOL. I don't know why this is Chuck's problem, but maybe it's because he knows where to find him...
...and that's apparently in Santa Monica, in an arcade, where he's about to play the guitar version of Dance Dance Revolution. Morgan says some guy has been handing him his ass all week -- and we recognize the kid from the opening sequence. And we're not the only ones, as Chuck flashes on him -- his name is "Lazslo Mahnovski," and he's wanted by the FBI. I'm going to give the show the benefit of the doubt and assume that Laszlo's escape happened some time ago -- more specifically, before Chuck got the Intersect. I do wonder how they're going to keep Chuck's information relevant, though. Anyway, Chuck tells Morgan that Laszlo is dangerous, like, way to absorb those spy techniques, kid. Laszlo takes a long look at Chuck's watch and then bails on the game, but soon after, he accosts Chuck and asks who he's working for -- turns out he designed Chuck's watch for the CIA. He wants answers out of Chuck, but Morgan reappears, and Laszlo hightails it out of there. You kind of have to admire his instincts. Morgan chases him out to the boardwalk, but he's gone, and Chuck gapes his way into the opening credits.
Chuck arrives home and asks if Sarah's there, and CA is jazzed to tell him that she's in his room and has a surprise for him: "Get in there, slugger." Chuck breathlessly runs in and asks about Laszlo, but all Sarah says as she starts to go is that they're looking into who he is, along with commending Chuck for following protocol. Given Chuck's trampling of procedure through the rest of the episode, Sarah, you might want to savor this moment a little longer. Chuck, in fact, asks her to remain, but because CA and Ellie are expecting that he's getting lucky. Sarah fumbles for a moment before asking him how long he'd like her to stay, and the response is forty-two minutes and fifteen seconds -- the length of Arcade Fire's first album, which is "an auditory aphrodisiac." Heh. Chuck puts on the music and sits on the bed with Sarah, and as long as we're talking A-words, this sure is Awfully Awkward. Chuck breaks the silence by asking why Sarah was in his room anyway, and she says she wanted to surprise him as she gives him a (clearly Photoshopped) picture of the two of them at Comic-Con -- Sarah's dressed in some jungle-woman-type outfit and standing to Chuck, who's looking very cute in a brown leather vest over a white long-sleeved shirt. Chuck likes it, but he notes that they've never been to Comic-Con, and he wistfully says they look like a real couple. Sarah says they're just a different kind of couple. Chuck: "That we are."
Chuck's in the break room when Casey comes storming in, bitching that he's starting to feel like the guy who gets picked last. "I don't like feeling like Team Chuck's little fat kid!" Aw, poor Casey. Would a doughnut make it better? Apparently not, as Casey snarks on Chuck some more before slamming out of there.
Chuck's finishing up with an elderly customer, who's delighted with the service until she looks over at the TV monitors and sees a girl's butt on close-up on all of them. Turns out Morgan is demonstrating the zoom feature on a camera to a couple of young horndogs, whom Chuck shoos away before telling Morgan he's really close to getting fired for sexual harassment. Morgan says that Chuck used to be cool, but Chuck asks, "When was that? When we were thirteen?" Er, I kind of doubt that, Chuck, and this is coming from a fellow D&D nerd. Chuck, no doubt having Big Mike's speech in the back of his mind, tells Morgan to grow up, and Morgan walks away without a word. That's not exactly what Chuck had in mind, nor is the part where Lester and Jeff come up and mock-praise him for his handling of the situation.
Casey draws the curtains in the TV room and patches in to Headquarters, and the red-haired general tells him that Laszlo escaped "last month" (okay, they're on the same page), and says that he's a weapons designer and "government brain" -- graduated college at age fourteen, got a PhD at seventeen, and has been with them ever since, and they can't afford to lose him, so Casey needs to bring him in. She cautions him to be careful, and shows Casey what he did to his handlers. From the pictures, it looks like he gave them sleeping pills and then knocked them in the noses to make them bleed. Or, if you're into much wilder possibilities, he killed them.
Outside the Buy More, Chuck is heading for his car when a guy in a mask accosts him and points a gun at his head -- and when he pulls off the mask, it's Laszlo, of course. He tells Chuck that he didn't kill anyone -- he was framed. Chuck points out that he's acting like a murderer, like, way to give him an excuse, genius.
Laszlo tells Chuck he tapped into the encrypted video feed at the store, and he figures Chuck must have told the agents about him. A car horn distracts Laszlo, though, giving Chuck the opportunity to grab the pistol, and there's a struggle and it's all very tense until something drips on Chuck and he asks, "Is that a water gun?" Hee. Laszlo apologizes and asks Chuck to help him clear his name -- but first, he'd like some pancakes. Dude, this weecap is hard enough to get in on deadline without you distracting me like that.
Ellie and CA arrive home to find Morgan sitting morosely in the courtyard, and CA says they should "help the little guy out." If you can do that, dude, you are Captain Super Awesome To The Nth Degree For Life.
In the pancake house, Laszlo is telling Chuck that he designed whatever the government needed -- thermal vision sunglasses, a parachute disguised as a backpack, you name it. Chuck says that he's like a real life Q, but Laszlo is barely even familiar with Bond, as he's been kept in an underground lab for the last ten years. Well, he doesn't look twenty-seven, so unless he got his PhD from Dungeon U., I'm not sure about the story here. Laszlo doodles something on his napkin as he says he worked in the lab and played video games, but had no friends or family. Chuck says that's inhumane, and thinks it's no wonder Bryce...I mean, "Laszlo" blew up his research and escaped. Not that Bryce was held in an underground facility and had no friends, but the part about blowing up the research seems quite similar, no? Laszlo then asks Chuck what his special skill is, since if he didn't have one, the government wouldn't be protecting him like they are -- what is Chuck super-good at? Chuck: "Let's just say...I'm a computer guy." Laszlo's face: "You couldn't even sell that to me? I grew up in a cave, here."
Morgan asks Ellie if he's immature, but before she can respond, CA's voice cuts in and asks Morgan to join him in the kitchen: "I'll handle this one, honey." Oh, dear. This would be real approach-avoidance dilemma if my job didn't mean I have no choice but to go forward...
...and then they're in not the kitchen but the bedroom, as CA puts his arm around Morgan and leads him to the mirror as he tells him that every man reaches the point where he has to ask himself this: "Am I a tucker?" Hee. He's referring to his shirt, and says that he wasn't always a tucker. And still isn't always, as he very often (thankfully) isn't wearing a shirt at all. Morgan's nervous about the whole thing, prompting CA to squeeze his shoulders: "You're safe in here." HEE. Morgan finally does tuck, but complains that his "junk's out there for the whole world to see." CA thinks maybe that's the point. If anyone in the world could sell that position, it's CA. So now we know it can't be done.
Now they're on the couch, and CA practically has his arm draped around Morgan, yet he's projecting a thoroughly hetero vibe. He is one of a kind. Love. He and Morgan are sipping brandy, I think, and he's telling Morgan that as a man, he has to be direct, open, and honest. Morgan immediately blurts out that when he was twelve, he hid under Ellie's bed so he could watch her undress. CA: "Excellent!" Hee. Quick shots of CA busting out some product for Morgan's hair and then finishing the tucking job for Morgan, and we're out.
Laszlo is telling Chuck about how, when he was eleven, he got recruited in an arcade by some government agent. I don't know how Chuck has room after all the pancakes, but he is eating this up with a spoon. The check comes, and Laszlo begs poor, but gives Chuck an IOU in the form of the napkin drawing, which is far more elaborate than when we saw it before. Still, I'd rather have the ten bucks. Laszlo then asks Chuck not to tell his handlers about him, and when Chuck protests that they're the good guys, Laszlo laughs sardonically and tells Chuck to check his room for bugs...
...and when Chuck takes Laszlo's advice, he finds them all over the place -- in the living room, bathroom, phone -- and in the picture frame Sarah just gave him.
And then Chuck's busting into Casey's apartment, demanding to know where Casey gets off spying on him like that. Casey (in a silk-looking bathrobe, heh) thinks Chuck has no reason to be upset, since Casey's the one who has to listen to Chuck and Morgan yammer away for hours on such subjects as what kind of sandwich they'd take to a desert island. Chuck doesn't think they were so prolific on that subject, so Casey plays him the audio file of said conversation, with Chuck arguing the relative merits of mayonnaise. Chuck: "Well, I'll have you know I stand by my mayonnaise theory [hee] and you're still a giant douche for spying on me like that." Casey asks how he found the bugs, anyway, and when he hears it was because of Laszlo, he gets all het up. Chuck: "I'm sorry, Casey, did I violate your trust?" I'd be heartbroken if Chuck ever got bitter and jaded, but I still like when the snark gets let out to play.
At Wienerlicious, a customer enters who sets Sarah's alarm bells off, and she's surreptitiously drawing a knife from the back of her skirt even as she's bidding the guy willkommen. But it's actually the guy whom Laszlo brained, and show, I appreciate that you made it possible that Laszlo escaped before Chuck downloaded the Intersect, but given that, this dude's laptop-inflicted facial injuries should have healed by now, no?
Chuck enters his room to find Laszlo sitting in the dark, which understandably startles him. Laszlo asks Chuck to hide him, and Chuck says he knows a place. I seriously thought it was going to be in the rear end of the Sandworm. I mean, that thing's barely been mentioned yet and it's the episode title!
The agent is telling Sarah that Lazslo is mentally unstable and off his meds, and currently running around Los Angeles. Good luck picking him out of the crowd, then. He says they think Laszlo wants to make a bomb. "And God help whoever's in his way when he decides to go off."
At Buy More, Chuck playfully welcomes Laszlo. "How can I be of assistance?" Laszlo doesn't ask where he keeps the C4, but I guess he figures he can find it himself.
Laszlo is in the TV room and loaded up with junk food. He thanks Chuck profusely for the place to crash for the night, but when he reveals that he also grabbed an A View To A Kill DVD, Chuck settles in. Sarah calls, but Laszlo begs him not to take it, and Chuck complies. He then asks for Chuck's watch so he can disable the transponder, and Chuck hands it over and asks how he's going to do that. He gets his answer when Laszlo stomps on it. Hey, the biggest geniuses know when to keep things simple. Laszlo then settles in and says that he broke into Chuck's car earlier and disabled the fancy government GPS system, and Chuck realizes that Laszlo designed it. Laszlo says now, no one in the world knows where they are. This sounds like the part of a Lifetime movie where the newlywed realizes that her perfect groom has a few skeletons in his closet. And given the way that Chuck's been mooning at Laszlo for most of the episode, it kind of is.
Sarah gets Chuck's voicemail; she leaves a message telling him to go to his car and wait for her.
The movie finishes, and Chuck crows about what a great bad guy Zorin was. Laszlo, however, thinks Zorin was the hero, and then basically threatens to use the interface he designed to be like Matthew Broderick in WarGames, only intentionally evil. It's amazing the moderating influence Ally Sheedy can have on the male nerd's psyche. Anyway, Chuck's horrified, but he covers by inviting Laszlo to watch Goldfinger, as that's up his alley. Laszlo agrees, and I can't believe Chuck got his way there without even having to tempt Lazlo with the promise of Pussy Galore. Chuck babbles that he's going to get more popcorn, but when he's in the main area, he listens to several irate voicemails from Casey and then the one we already heard from Sarah...
...and then Chuck gets into his car...only to find Laszlo there already. Laszlo says he's not responsible for what happens now, and then the agents pull up and train their guns on the car. Chuck tries to tell Laszlo that he should just surrender and everything will be cool. Laszlo punches some buttons on the console, though, and a second steering wheel pops out of the dashboard in front of him. He looks at Chuck: "Everything is not gonna be cool." Dude, weren't you watching what you just did? His controls seem to have a hand accelerator and brake, because he peels out, and the agents pursue...
...and in the car, Chuck is finding that his controls are inoperative. Meanwhile, Laszlo's all over the road, which means this is like Driver's Ed if the instructor were on, like, seventeen espressos. Chuck tries to grab Laszlo's wheel, but Laszlo shakes him off, and after some more crazy driving and several near misses, Laszlo bids Chuck farewell and pushes another button, which first detaches Chuck's door and then ejects his seat into the street. He keeps his forward velocity, though, and has a couple more near-misses before using his poor Cons to come skidding to a stop in front of a light. The two chicks in the car to him are like, "..." and Chuck intones, "Ladies." Heh.
Chuck's getting dressed for his interview when Sarah comes in. He apologizes for screwing up with Laszlo, and says it's no wonder they bugged his phone. Sarah looks regretfully at the broken picture frame, and says he's not an idiot for trusting people; she then tells him that "somehow" the GPS system in Chuck's car got turned on, so they're going to go get Laszlo. Wow, "somehow" the supra-genius designer of the system unwittingly turned it on? That shit is weak. She wishes Chuck good luck...
...and then a sharp pair of polished wing tips is entering the store -- only they belong to Morgan, whose hair is slicked and who is wearing a vest and a pink Oxford shirt I think CA helped him pick out. Big Mike compliments his costume, which really means something given Mike's awesome pimp getup, but Morgan tells "Michael" he didn't even realize it was Halloween. Okay, but at least Mercury has to be in retrograde or something. Jeff and Lester, dressed as the man and woman, respectively, from American Gothic, then ask Morgan if he's up for a holiday edition of Mystery Crisper, but Morgan high-handedly rebuffs them. Chuck's , and he's of course bemused by Morgan's getup, but Morgan is pissed at Chuck and is all "I. Said. Good. DAY!" about it. Harry Tang, dressed as Jesse James, then startles Chuck, although it could partially be due to the hilarious Old West ghost town theme music accompanying his appearance. When he's gone, Chuck bends down to retrieve the wallet he dropped and sees Laszlo's drawing, and when he turns it sideways, he flashes on it and has A Realization...
...and then he's on the phone with Sarah, telling her that Laszlo is going to the Santa Monica pier -- he realizes that Laszlo was casing the arcade when he first saw him, and that's the place he was recruited from. Also, there's a big Halloween party there every year, so it's a prime target for a bomb. Big Pimp Mike then yells at Chuck, asking where he's going, Chuck asks if he can borrow another Herder, but Mike says they're all out, and besides, he's got that interview, remember? Chuck says something more important came up, and runs for the door...
...and then he's grabbing a bike out of the rack and hitting the road.
At some point soon after, the guy from Corporate is calling for Chuck; he asks Morgan where he is, but Morgan doesn't know, of course. Harry Tang And Theme Music then appear and taunt Morgan; first Chuck bailed on him and their "space penis" (hee) costume, and now he's not showing up for his interview. This speech has the opposite effect from the one Tang intended, though...
...as Morgan marches in to see the Corporate guy and tells him how ripping awesome Chuck is, including his ability to recite The Wrath Of Khan word for word. Corporate Guy: That was an awesome speech, but that doesn't change the fact that Harry's got the job. Also, for our information, Harry's middle name is "Tiberius," and if reference isn't made to the Kobayashi Maru at some point this season, I'll be the one screaming, "KHAAAAAAAAAN!"
Chuck reaches the boardwalk and heads down under it, finding the car rigged to blow. What he doesn't seem to notice, however, is that the timer, set at a minute, isn't running. YET. Laszlo appears, mentions the self-destruct function, and tosses Chuck the keys -- which gets the timer going, due to Chuck clearing the "fingerprint recognition system." Laszlo says this is his revenge for what the government did to him. Casey then calls and tells Chuck that someone armed the Herder's self-destruct. Chuck: "Yeah, I know. It was me." I know we're at like, Minute Fifty-Two here, but I still think a quick reaction shot of Casey wasn't too much to ask.
Laszlo tells Chuck that he can stop the bomb by cutting the red wire, and hands Chuck cutters for the job. However, when Laszlo makes a comment about the end of Goldfinger, which he had earlier purported never to have seen, Chuck realizes that Laszlo was playing him all along -- he knew Chuck would believe him when he claimed that he wanted to live a normal, peaceful life. Despite Casey and Sarah appearing with guns drawn and Laszlo screaming to cut the red wire, Chuck disobeys and snips the green one. Ding ding ding! You get to keep your adorable face. The agents take Laszlo away as Chuck struggles to compose himself.
Chuck returns to the Buy More, where Tang gloats to him. Chuck just walks away, though, and then the Asian girl falls into step with Chuck and tells him about what Morgan did for him. Also, Chuck realizes that it was Morgan's bike he took. He runs out.
At the party, CA is in costume, and it's not nice of the episode to tempt me to pause so close to the end. What follows for the minute or so is a complete homage to/send-up of the end ofThe O.C.'s "The Countdown," only instead of Ryan cinematically catching Marissa at the party, it's Chuck catching up to Morgan. (The song playing is even the same -- "Dice" by Finley Quaye and Beth Orton.) Of course, there's no Oliver equivalent, unless you count the sandworm, which actually seems about right. Also, to the whole scene: HEE, especially the part where they meet and you see that Chuck is about seven feet three inches taller than Morgan. Chuck offers to let Morgan be the head this year...
...and then they're worming out into the courtyard as "It Takes Two" plays. Hee. The sandworm does appear to be a big hit, but Ellie nonetheless comes running up in her Eve costume to ask Chuck how the interview went (and she assumes Chuck is in the front, a nice little touch). Chuck admits that he skipped out on the interview, but Sarah appears out of nowhere, dressed in the same costume she was wearing at "Comic-Con," and takes responsibility, saying she had an emergency and Chuck came through for her. "Your brother is kind of a hero." Well, as long as he doesn't start crying X-Files black oil from his eyes and killing everyone around him. Chuck then ducks into the worm costume and asks Morgan if it's cool if he takes a five-minute break. Morgan: "Take ten if you need it." Someone hasn't listened to that album.
In the bedroom, Sarah gets her camera out and takes a real picture of them (aw), and then Morgan appears at the window, as people are loudly calling for the sandworm again. Sarah heads back out, and Morgan asks what they were talking about. Chuck gets An Idea and tells Morgan that Sarah told him if he were stranded on a desert island, she would bring roast beef! Morgan is aghast, and he's not the only one, as when it's clear where this is going, Casey, listening in, shuts his eyes in pain. HA!