Halliwell Manor. Day. Kitchen. Phoebe "Personally Spacy" Halliwell, in white drawstring pants, white long-sleeved top with black dots, and ponytail, lopes into the room. She greets "Cry Me a" Piper Halliwell, who looks oddly interchangeable with her sister, since they're wearing the same outfit. Perhaps the docile Ps should call each other and ask what they're wearing before they meet in the kitchen in the morning so they're not embarrassed? Perhaps this is a way-obvious set-up for lame hijinks later in the show? Probably the latter. Pheebs asks if Piper read Dan "I Will Stalk Five Hundred Miles" Gordon's postcard. Piper has. THE HELL? For one thing, the only communication between the two of them should be through law enforcement channels. For another thing, don't read mail that's not yours, Phoebe, even if it's only a postcard. For yet another thing, NO ONE CARES WHERE DAN IS THIS EPISODE OR, FOR THAT MATTER, EVER. Anyway, Piper is looking perturbed by another piece of mail. Seems Dr. Williamson from the "Awakened" episode has been sending her letters asking her to come in for some more "blood work." Phoebe: "An angel brought you back to life; trust me, you're cured." She tells Piper to just throw the letter away. While they're on the subject of trash, Phoebe's started to root through it, where she finds an empty box of her granola. Piper admits that Leo ate it all; she'll replace it. Phoebe goes into passive-aggressive mode, and suggests some "ground rules if Leo's going to be living in the manor." Piper: "Do you really think he's here that much?" Phoebe: "He's like the big brother I never wanted. [Er.] I mean had. Never had."
Just then, "Keep Away From Runaround" Prue Halliwell struts into the room in drawstring pants and a "miracle" apron top that she found comfortable enough in which to sleep, and she asks the docile Ps if they've ever heard of Evan Stone, the movie star. Phoebe all but jumps up and down, exclaiming that she's "seen Red Death like five times." Prue expositions that she has a photo shoot with him that day. Phoebe blathers on about tabloid rumors about Evan. Prue shushes her, because she doesn't want to know about his private life; she just wants to take his picture. And also because Shannen Doherty wants to make a big point during her character's subplot this episode about how evil tabloids are and how they prey upon innocent celebrities. Whatever. Prue starts to leave the room to get ready for the shoot, with a babbling Phoebe in tow. Piper stops them and asks, "You don't think Leo lives here, do you?" Prue: "Yeah, of course he does." Then her toes curl and her eyes practically roll back in ecstasy as Prue-vert (tm MadSketcher) relives her moment last week seeing Leo "all wet" and naked in the shower. This causes Piper to pick up Phoebe's idea about setting "ground rules." The callous Ps leave. Piper chucks Dr. Williamson's letter into the trash.
Hospital. Dr. Williamson is pacing around a laboratory while talking to his superior on a cell phone, expositioning about the events in the "Awakened" episode. Dr. W walks past three cages containing chimpanzees. The cages are labeled "Prue," "Piper," and "Phoebe." Dr. W's boss tells him to "move on to people who are sick" because Piper Halliwell has been officially cured. Dr. W expositions some more about his belief that Piper's blood might contain "the key to unlocking a universal antibody." The boss cuts off all funding to Dr. W's project. Dr. W slams the phone down, and for the radio audience, declares, "I'm not giving up." He puts on some surgical gloves and takes some blood samples from vials drawn from each of the Halliwell sisters and puts them into the same container. Then he draws the mixed-up, Type "P" blood into a syringe and places it on a table. As Dr. W unlocks chimpanPrue's cage, the monkey gestures towards the needle and TKs it straight into Dr. W's neck. Dr. W plucks it out and throws the now-empty syringe onto the floor. The chimpanPs start shrieking and wailing about in their cages.
Credits. As noted earlier, Dan's gone this week. WOO HOO! Greg Vaughan can fulfill the rest of his full-season contractual obligation by postcard, as far as I'm concerned.
Ad touting "new" Physique products. And I was foolish enough to believe that a cure for "bad hair days" would not be found in my lifetime.
This week the establishing shots are in super fast-forward, only serving to contrast with the snail's pace of the plot that follows. Cut back to the hospital. Dr. Williamson tells the chimpanPs to BE QUIET as he bandages up his neck. His rage causes him to TK a couple of bottles of blood against the wall. We see the splatter in close-up. As Joe Bob Briggs says, "Paint the screen red!" Dr. W gapes at his new-found telekinetic ability. Just then, his boss doctor walks into the lab, blathering. Dr. W tells him to wait. The man freezes in mid-sentence. Dr. W walks around his boss, and figures out that he has the ability to cause temporal stasis also. Dr. W unfreezes him. The guy wonders what the hell is going on. Dr. W prattles on about needing to "get a hold of the Halliwells immediately." His boss suggest that he take "some time off"; after all, he has a sick sister who's in the very same hospital. Dr. W gets his mad-scientist bitch on and reiterates his need to contact the Halliwells while grabbing his boss's lapels and bugging his eyes out. His boss tells Dr. W to have his things "cleared out of this lab by the end of the day." He storms out. Dr. W turns to see chimpanPrue float a banana over to her cage.
Studio. Hey, this must be the actual San Francisco set where they film this very show! How postmodern! Prue drives up in her brand-new, detailed BMW sports utility vehicle, which caused discussion on our boards as to how she afforded it on a neophyte "glorified intern" photographer's budget. She struts in the entrance in her ugly saddle-colored leather pimp jacket over a multi-hued macrame plant holder stretched over her chest as a top, and chinos. Prue walks up to the man getting made up while sitting in a director's chair labeled "Evan Stone." She queries, "Evan Stone?" Duh. ES greets her. Prue notes that they "have a date." ES gets a hard-on. He's played by that guy who's on that USA Network show about bicycle cops. He's "stretching" by appearing on television out of Lycra shorts. Anyway, ES's officious assistant shows up and gets into a snit because she senses that Prue's an evil tabloid reporter. Prue's very offended by that accusation, naturally, and gives Officious Assistant her ID from No. magazine, as if that puts her in a higher league than the people who toil for the supermarket rags. Officious Assistant is suspicious because Prue only has a temporary ID. THE HELL? Didn't Prue have friggin' business cards just last week? Don't they take a bit longer to process and print than an ID card? Whatever! OS goes to check out Prue's credentials while Prue and ES attempt badinage. They're not successful. Okay, here's chemistry. Seven time zones over, well, that's where Prue and Evan are. I'm betting money that he's a closeted star who's going to manipulate Prue and the evil tabloid press into causing the public to believe that he's dating a woman. I'm throwing that out there because this is a fantasy show. I'm not suggesting that occurs in real life!
Speaking of closets . . . Halliwell Manor. Piper's room. A figure in white drawstring pants, ponytail, and a dotted white top is throwing clothes out of the closet. "Free" Leo"der" Wyatt orbs in, kneels down to this person, and whispers, "Ever done it on a cloud?" Huh? Is that anything like "swinging on a star"? Oh wait, that might be Prue's subplot this episode. Anyway, the person in the closet turns around and -- get this -- it's Phoebe, not Piper. She quips in reply, "I don't know. Does a featherbed count?" Zing! Not. Leo blushes. Phoebe admits that she is in his girlfriend's room. Leo apologizes. Phoebe passive-aggressives, "No worries. It could happen to anyone, especially someone who doesn't have to knock when they come in, you know." Leo: "It won't happen again; you have my word." Phoebe: "And you have my word. I won't tell Piper." Leo counters with a blackmail threat to tell Piper that Pheebs was rummaging through her wardrobe without asking. Actually, he leaves to meet up with Piper in the kitchen. Phoebe pulls a piece of paper and a pencil out of her pants and writes, "Item #2. Orbing in unnannounced." She reads this aloud for the vast radio audience. Phoebe will stop at nothing to ensure that she's the only full-fledged freeloader at Halliwell Manor.
Kitchen. Piper in a green "fretful mood" cardigan (natch) is upset because Dr. Williamson has called her. She refuses to come in to the hospital to meet with him. Dr. W pleads for her help. Piper: "Goodbye, Doctor." She hangs up. Cut to Dr. W, all sweaty-faced, clawing at his neck wound. He TKs some books and his computer terminal against the wall. The chimpanPs shriek some more. I'm really surprised that animal testing goes on at the hospital; it doesn't look like the place is affiliated with a university or anything. But I don't know much about these matters.
Cut back to Piper. Leo walks in and says hello. Piper expositions about Dr. W. Then she asks Leo why he's visiting. He explains that he has the day off, and wants to spend it with her. They embrace. Piper looks worried. She tells Leo that she fears that Dr. W might have found out that she was cured by supernatural means.
Hospital. Dr. W is called to his sister's room. Cut to a shot of the chimpanPs' cages. ChimpanPrue's head slumps forward.
Studio. Prue is taking pictures of Evan. As she did with Maggie Murphy in "Murphy's Luck," she's plopped her subject in a chair in really harsh lighting while she snaps photos from about ten yards away. Is Prue sure she's really not taking class pictures for a junior high yearbook? Just then, Astral ChimpanPrue appears behind Evan's chair. She waves her hairy mitt at Prue, as if to say, "Hey." Prue uses her camera lens to focus on the hospital bracelet around the monkey's wrist so she can get a better look at it. THEN she starts to freak and puts her camera down, exclaiming, "What a cute monkey!" Um, wouldn't her reactions be more believable the other way around? Anyway, ES is all "the hell?" Prue tells him to look behind his chair. But Astral ChimpanPrue disappears before Evan gets a glimpse of her. Prue gapes. She puts away her camera and gets her stuff together to leave the shoot. ES: "But you just got started." Prue: "And I got a great shot, it was perfect." Besides, she has to save film on this roll for the Foreign Language faculty, the cheerleaders, and the Chess Club. Prue's about to make it to the SUV in the parking lot when ES follows her out and accosts her; she forgot her car keys. The keys drop to the ground in the hand-off and Prue and ES both kneel down to fetch them. Cue the EVIL TABLOID PHOTOGRAPHERS parked in a car nearby. They snap shots of Prue and ES in such a way that it's implied that Prue is necking with a hot male stud on the concrete ground. But we all know Prue's a nice girl who would never do anything like that. Evil paparazzi.
Halliwell Manor. Kitchen. Prue bursts into the room. Phoebe is examining a floral arrangement. Prue tells Pheebs that she'll "never guess what happened." Pheebs guesses that Prue is "living the movie Notting Hill." Not even close, Pheebs, unless this subplot means to ape that flick while reversing the roles; Prue as the nobody shrew to Evan's movie star nice-guy. ["Heh - 'ape.'" -- Sars] Phoebe explains that the flowers are from Evan; the card asks, "What really happened?" I'm sorry, but I don't believe even Harrison Ford, the monumental mega-star at the center of the Fametracker galaxy, could have found a way to get the flowers delivered to the manor in the time it took Prue to drive there from the studio. Whatever! Phoebe prattles on, "I hope you're happy. You're stealing away my dream man!" Um, shouldn't that be "dream man of the week"? Remember Billy from "Chick Flick"? The continuity-deficient writers sure don't. Prue asks Phoebe where Piper is. Phoebe bitches, "In the living room. With Leo. AGAIN." Phoebe indicates the direction of their presence in a three-quarter profile close-up confirming that yes, her nose is officially out of joint. Phoebe gets back on topic and wonders why Evan sent Prue flowers. Prue has no idea. She bends over to smell the blossoms but Phoebe barks at her. Step back, Pheebs.
Piper and Leo enter the room. Prue expositions about the monkey on the movie set. Leo and Piper are skeptical. Prue notes that the monkey waved at her like it knew her or wanted her help. Phoebe baby voices, "Honee, I tink oo workeen way too hart." Piper smirks and suggests to Prue, "Perhaps what you saw was one of the monkeys that just flew out of my ass." Actually, she turns to Leo and asks him if he has any input about Prue's chimp sighting. Leo thinks that the chimp visitation could only happen if the monkey was "sharing the same power as Prue. That's the way it found [her]. Magic to magic." Prue is perplexed; she has her power. How could a monkey have obtained it? Phoebe wonders if this is "possible." Leo states that after almost two seasons of plot contrivances, general inanity, poor continuity, and slip-shod execution of substandard scripts, just about anything is possible. Piper brings up Prue's detail about the hospital wristband the chimp was wearing. Prue describes it. Piper picks Dr. W's letter out of the trash and shows Prue the hospital logo on the letterhead. They have a match. Piper expositions about Dr. W's harassment to Prue. She thinks he might have found out about the Halliwell powers. Prue looks at Phoebe and declares, "BoS." Prue books to the attic. Pheebs thinks for a second, repeats. "BoS," then realizes that Prue is POSSIBLY SHOUTING OUT TO OWEN AT MBTV. She heads to the attic also. Then Leo is paged by God. He kisses Piper goodbye and orbs off.
Hospital. Dr. Williamson's sister's room. Dr. W is very pasty and perspiration-soaked. His policeman brother-in-law is in the room, expressing rage over his wife's need for a kidney donor for a transplant, stat. Then he harangues about those non-sequitur "guilty" criminal scumbags who are all the time getting "released on technicalities." The "Who's Wound Tighter?" competition is put on hold when Dr. W touches his brother-in-law and has a Phoebe-esque B&W psychic vision of the B-I-L's cardiac arrest that's just moments away. Dr. W tells a nurse menial to get a "crash team." She gapes at him, but follows his orders anyway. Then B-I-L has a heart attack. The crash team rescues him. Dr. W goes to his unconscious sister's bedside and informs her that he will "save" her as well.
"The truth" anti-smoking ads for teens. And I used to think Joe Camel was uncool.
Hospital. The Halliwells walk into Dr. W's lab like they own the place. They see that the room is in major disarray. Phoebe: "Wow! What a mess." Prue: "Word. Why don't you and I take a load off while Piper straightens up?" Actually, she remains quiet until she sees the chimps on the other side of the room. Prue identifies one of the monkeys as Astral ChimpanPrue. (She's also assisted by the chimp's being in a cage labeled "Prue" in big block letters, and the simian's frantic waving at her.) Phoebe: "It looks like she knows you." Prue: "It looks like they know all of us." Piper notices that the monkeys have been named after them. Phoebe thinks this is "really scary." The Ps go through Dr. W's notes to see if there's any material that might expose their identities as witches. As they discover Dr. W's research into a "universal antibody" through the use of Halliwell blood, chimpanPrue floats a banana over to her cage. But a jealous chimpanPiper freezes the banana out of reach of the other monkey. Prue: "It's safe to say that Dr Williamson knows about us." Phoebe realizes that their blood was injected into the monkeys. The banana unfreezes and drops to the ground. Prue tells the docile Ps that they need to get the chimps out of the lab before "everyone finds out about [them]." The Ps unlock the cages. As Phoebe holds chimpanPheebs, she gets a psychic vision of Dr. W TKing the bottles of blood against the wall. She informs her sisters that Dr. W not only "knows about [their] powers, but has one of them." Piper remembers the stupid press conference scene in "Awakened," and realizes that Dr. W might get the CDC and the press involved again. Piper reasons, "If we don't stop him, the monkeys won't be the only ones in cages." The Ps look pensive. As does Owen. A "Witches in Prison" episode of Charmed? If it's anything like the time that Sabrina, Jill, and Kelly had to break out of that Louisiana penitentiary/potato farm, he's there.
Scummy apartment building. A goateed drug dealer in a wife beater is expositioning on a cell phone that he never uses his product. Which preempts my question as to why Dr. W would want to harvest his kidney. Oh, sorry. Am I one step ahead of you? Anyway, Dr. W TKs his way into the dealer's apartment by blasting the door open. He quips about making a "house call" and knocks the dealer to the floor. Dr. W injects him with an anesthetic, then whips out a scalpel and starts cutting him open, thankfully off-camera but perplexingly without disinfecting the area or anything. By the way, I'm tired of this show's visual shorthand equating goatees with evil lowlifes. They're really not my thing, but I don't think goateed folk should be stereotyped as anything other than tragically unhip.
Hospital. The sisters have put the chattering chimp sound-effects tape in a laundry cart, and are making their way through the corridors. Piper's freezing people as they go so they can make a stealthy exit. As they turn the corner to the nurses station, Prue stops her sister from freezing the scene because she sees that her and Evan's parking-lot-tryst photos are shown on the television hanging from the ceiling. Because every event in the universe is all about Prue and Evan's such a big star, CNN has devoted its full 24-hour coverage to the story and has even composed theme music and an animated logo to announce breaking developments. Actually, its just a promo for an Evil Tabloid television program pondering, "Who's the mystery woman in Evan Stone's life? Why did he send her flowers?" The callous Ps gape at this. Piper brings them back to the more important storyline: "Hello, bigger problem." Cut to the nurse who witnessed Dr. W's psychic vision concerning his brother-in-law's heart attack. She tells another nurse all about it. Phoebe, overhearing this: "Premonitions for $500, Alex." Zing! Not. Piper interrupts the nurses to ask where she might find Dr. W. They direct her to the records room.
The records room. The sisters enter. Piper freezes the clerk. They look around and spot the jail-ward information still on a terminal screen. They print out the list of discharged criminal patients, and note that the page reads, "Accessed by Dr. C. Williamson." They leave. Good luck finding those untethered monkeys you've been neglecting, girls.
Dr. W's sister's room. Dr. W whispers in her ear that he's "taken care of everything. You're going to be okay." He carries his little organ donation cooler to the nurses station and sets it upon the counter. He tells the nurse to prepare for a transplant; an exact tissue match has been found for his sister.
Scummy apartment building. Parking lot. The Halliwells stand behind some police tape and watch Darryl "Can't Do Much-er Cop" Morris and other police personnel carry the drug dealer's body out. Darryl spots the Ps and walks over. What are they doing there? Darryl oh-so-compassionately-not expositions about "some lowlife" who was found sedated with his kidney removed. Hmm. I wonder if that other urban legend about the woman and the dog and the peanut butter and the unexpected guests is true also? Piper asks Darryl if the police have any leads. Darryl says that it must have been someone with medical training. Piper tells him to stop looking. Darryl: "Why?" Prue explains that the crime had a supernatural cause. Darryl does his usual "denial of demons" shtick, with his patented seconds-later give-in that buys the Halliwells some time to catch the bad guy before the cops do. Piper looks perturbed again. The callous Ps can't for the lives of them wonder why. Piper: "I was just thinking, if I'd just answered one of his letters."
Memorandum. To: Madison Avenue. From: Owen. Re: Sunkist's "If Flies Ruled the World" spot. Please make royalty checks payable to G-A-R-Y L-A-R-S-O-N.
Halliwell Manor. Parlor. Hijinks. Monkeys run amuck as Phoebe tries to shepherd them into a corner. Prue argues with the press on her cell phone. Piper enters the room and expositions that she can't find anything in the BoS about "animals with powers or getting powers out of them." Then she worries aloud about Dr W; he already stole a kidney -- what will he do ? Prue gets off the phone. Flashbulbs start to go off in the front yard as the doorbell rings frantically. (Because I guess tabloid photographers are not only evil but also stupid, since there's really nothing to photograph from their vantage point.) Phoebe peers out the window and sees photographers everywhere. She starts pulling down the shades, grateful that the paparazzi won't have a chance to "see any magic." Yeah, the photographers join the TV viewers on that score. Just then, Leo orbs in. A chimp immediately jumps into his arms. Aw. Piper expositions to Leo that "the press is after Prue."
Kitchen. Everybody processes and takes a turn holding a monkey. Leo's shown up with "bad news" about Dr. Williamson. Since he's a mortal who's not strong enough to handle the Halliwell powers coursing through him, he will be destroyed by them and eventually go mad. Phoebe: "So our powers are in our blood and he injected himself with it?" Duh. Wasn't she in the hospital lab scene earlier? Didn't she find the Halliwell blood vials? Didn't she have the vision revealing Dr. W using the Charmed Ones' powers? Two and two makes four, dimwit. Anyway, Leo blathers on about Halliwell blood causing Dr. W to "go bad." Piper looks upset. Leo assures her that the sitch is "not [her] fault." The Halliwells just have to stop him before his behavior gets worse. The Ps state their plans. Phoebe will make a potion to separate the powers from the monkeys. Prue will get rid of the reporters by talking to Evan. Piper will talk to Darryl and let him know "what he's up against." Prue asks for Piper's help with the paparazzi. Piper opens the door and freezes the crowd. Prue slips past them, presumably towards her car. Piper unfreezes the throng. Shannen's "slam on the tabloids" subplot is rather toothless, no?
Studio. Evan Stone goes through the motions of a martial arts fight with three stunt men, in a scene that's just slightly more ill-conceived and unbelievable than the Phoebe Fu we've seen on this show. The director yells "cut" and "print." Prue struts up to Evan and bitches that she's now being stalked by photographers. Evan: "It'll blow over! You're a normal, red-blooded American girl with nothing to hide, right?" Ow. Owen wishes that anvil that just pinned him in his armchair could have "blown over" before impact. Evan continues, saying blah blah don't fight it yada yada energy thrown at it wah wah let it go right on by prattle. Prue is intrigued by his "wax on, wax off" approach (dude!), but wants him to issue a statement to the press denying that she's involved with him. Evan: "You kidding? I'm working the bad-boy image." Huh? By sending flowers? The hell? I continue to suspect that he's working the "straight boy image." Prue pleads for Evan to do something, anything. He gets on his cell phone and calls an Evil Tabloid as a gossip tipster, affecting a lispy, effete, incredibly bad British accent, with a tip that he and Prue have just left to dine at a certain restaurant. Prue thanks him. Shannen's lame subplot comes to its merciful end.
Cut to Dr. W and his victim. The camera pans from the doctor cutting up the body to a table littered with firearms. Dr. W explains that he's ending the life of a "bad man [who] sold guns to children." Then he quips about how "heartless" the guy was, while -- get this -- holding up the guy's heart and tossing it in his cooler. Yuck, yuck, yuck.
Halliwell Manor. Kitchen. Piper looks out the window while holding a chimp. She sees that the press is leaving, so Prue must have "done something." Phoebe is mixing up an elixir "to get us out of them." She pours some into a baby bottle. Leo feeds it to chimpanPrue. Pheebs holds up a banana. ChimpanPrue TKs it across the room. Suddenly a golden mist floats off of the monkey and the banana drops to the floor. Leo and Piper think that Phoebe's potion is successful. The doorbell rings. Piper gets it (natch). It's Darryl, blathering about Dr. Williamson's organ-stealing spree around town. He's not using anesthetic or stitching his victims up anymore, and he's using his powers to sneak the organs into hospitals without being caught. Piper tells Darryl not to try to kill Dr. W, because Dr. W is too powerful. Darryl accepts the warning grudgingly and stomps off. Piper lifts the hospital prison ward print-out from her jacket pocket and, using the victim information Darryl just gave her, figures out who's on the list of potential donors. She calls Phoebe and Leo into the foyer, and tells them that they have to find Prue. Piper knows where Dr. W is.
Warehouse. A blowsy, big-boned woman is sitting behind a desk, fiddling with some car stereos she's fencing. Hey, where's her goatee? Is she supposed to be evil or what? The woman is hollering for someone named "Bobby." Dr. W appears in front of her, holding his organ donor cooler. Dr. W: "Bobby? Was that his name?" The woman gapes. Dr. W puts the cooler down and prepares to show her the telekinetic hand. Just then, he's flung against the chain link wall behind the desk. The Halliwells have shown up. Prue tells the woman to "get out." She scrams, but not before grabbing her stolen car stereos. Heh. Piper greets Dr. W and reasons with him, "You're sick. You're doing terrible things." Dr. W states that he's "saving lives." Piper informs him that he's hurting people. She comes closer to him with the bottle of elixir, telling him that it will make him better. Dr W looks at it, then TKs her against the wall. Then he TKs Prue against another wall. Phoebe confronts him, saying, "This is for the monkeys." She slugs him. He TKs her before she can get a "this is for my sisters" punch in. Dr. W walks out of the place, breaking the bottle of elixir under his heel as he departs. Piper raises her head and sees this.
Doesn't Julia Louis-Dreyfus look weird in that long distance provider commercial? Her eyes appear so far apart they must be in separate area codes.
Halliwell Manor. Night. Phoebe's wearing her wire-rim glasses, leaning over a city map, trying to scry out Dr. W's location with a crystal on a string. She's not having any luck because the scrying allegedly locates concentrations of supernatural power. Since Dr. W has the same gifts as the Charmed Ones, the crystal keeps hovering over their street. Piper, increasingly concerned, asks her to "keep trying." Prue wants to talk about "what [they're] going to do." Piper insists that they have a plan; they'll give Dr. W the elixir. Pheebs reminds her that the elixir is gone, and they don't have any ingredients to make more. Besides, they'd never get it into him. Phoebe's taken her glasses off to emphasize her dramatic point and show off her eye make-up, including the false eyelashes she's sported in the past few episodes. Piper rationalizes, "He was my doctor. He tried to save my life, remember?" Prue reminds her that he just tried to murder them. Phoebe adds that he's probably out there killing more people as they speak. Prue believes that Dr. W is "one innocent we might not be able to save." Piper insists that Dr. W just "needs help." Prue, a bit patronizingly, replies, "I know that, honey." Piper: "What are you suggesting?" The callous Ps look at each other. Piper sees the writing on the wall: "You guys want to VANQUISH HIM? He's not a demon, he's a human being!" Prue: "Not anymore." Piper: "We can't use our powers to punish, remember?" Il Pruce tells Piper that she'd better fall into goose-step. All she has to do is "freeze him"; the callous Ps will finish the job. Just then, Leo walks up to the sisters. He's sorry, but there's "no [other] way out of this one." Piper wails, "I don't believe this!" Phoebe's scrying crystal stops at a position on the map. They've found Dr. W. Piper wears a pained, conflicted look.
Alleyway. Dr. W walks past several prone homeless men. Phoebe calls out to him. The Ps stand in a row at the far end of the alley. Piper: "We can help you. You have to stop hurting people. It's over." Dr. W replies, in a growly, synthesized voice, "If you say so." He drops his organ cooler and holds up a scalpel to fling at the Halliwells. Prue TKs it backwards into a board. This causes the homeless people to clear out of the alley but quick. Dr. W flings a rusty buzz saw blade at the Ps. Piper freezes it right in front of her. Phoebe orders Piper to freeze Dr. W. She does. Dr. W shakes off the freeze in a couple of seconds. Phoebe wails for the radio listeners, "It's not working!" Prue orders Piper, "Whatever you do, do not unfreeze that thing." Dr. W sends yet another rusty buzz saw blade at the Halliwells. Prue telekinetically spins it back towards him. They both put TK force on the blade, so it floats between them (like the wand in the "That Old Black Magic" episode) and is quite a bore. Piper, still concentrating on freezing the other blade, tells the callous Ps that she's about to give at any moment. Which cues Pheebs to screech at Piper, "YOU DO NOT LET THAT GO. YOU DO NOT LET THAT GO." Uh, Piper's the one in its direct line of fire so SHUT UP, PHOEBE. Piper, to her credit, grits out, "Yelling DOES NOT HELP." Prue tells the docile Ps to "just let go" once she tells them to. They're confused. Suddenly Prue yells, "Hit the deck, now!" They duck. The blades go flying past their heads. One of them bounces off the wall and boomerangs into Dr. Williamson's gut. He pulls it out and collapses onto the ground. Piper screams, "Noooo!!!" and runs to his side. She weeps and insists, "Oh God. Please don't die." Prue looks over to Phoebe with a "get her" expression. Piper wails. She tells Dr. Williamson that she's "sorry." Sniffle.
Halliwell Manor. Parlor. Phoebe throws some of Dr. W's notes in the fireplace. She tells the inanimate objects, "Bye-bye files!" Because she's a moron. Prue hands more papers to Phoebe to burn, and expresses relief that things are "back to normal." Cut to the chimps sitting on the sofa. Prue asks for exposition as to what will become of them. Phoebe explains that she's driving them to the "wildlife conservancy" the day. Then she shows Prue that she's trained them to do the "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" trick. Cute, but it's still a Lesson of the Day. And not one that Owen particularly agrees with. Pass. Phoebe tells Prue that she'll miss the chimps. Then Piper mopes into the room. Phoebe hands her a paper, informing her sister that the document is "ground rules." Uch, Phoebe, this is a really bad moment for such pettiness. Oh wait, the list turns out to be all about the type of guy Phoebe wants: "A man who hates my brand of cereal, so there's always some for me. A man who catches me by surprise." Piper: "What is this [shit]?" Phoebe explains that it's her "wish list" and that she's stealing Piper's boyfriend. Actually, she's trying to let Piper know that she desires someone "as good as Leo" and she's glad that Piper's found "the best" because she "deserves" it. Prue adds: "We just want you to be happy, honey." That doesn't come to pass, because Piper responds by throwing some more files on the fire while looking like she's on the verge of tears. The callous Ps wonder what's the big. Piper: "His name was Curtis." Phoebe: "Who?" Piper: "Dr. Williamson. I read it in his medical biography. He never married. He was working all the time. Saving lives was more important to him than having a life of his own. His life is over and I can't help but feel responsible for that." Phoebe: "We tried to save him." Piper, openly crying at this point: "But we didn't." Prue: "Because we couldn't." Piper: "I couldn't." She turns and exits. The callous Ps decide not to follow her, "not this time." Yeah, gals, don't get up.
Piper retreats to her bedroom and sits curled up on her bed, bawling. The selection of that whiny Bush song to accompany this scene really sucks. Leo orbs in and comforts Piper as Holly Marie Combs makes Owen get all snot-nosed. Sigh. End.