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7-18 2005.04.24 |
Suddenly Katya! Is torturing coeds! Suddenly coeds! Cringe in despair! Suddenly Katya is here to provide us with brisk condescension -- Katya's our friend! Until stupid Raige vanquishes her. Annoying! |
| Ep. | Title | Air/Pub'l | Author |
| 7-18 Recap |
Suddenly Katya! Little Box Of Horrors - Is torturing coeds! Suddenly coeds! Cringe in despair! Suddenly Katya is here to provide us with brisk condescension -- Katya's our friend! Until stupid Raige vanquishes her. Annoying! |
2005.04.24 2005.04.30 |
Demian |
| 7-17 Recap |
Welcome To The Dolthouse Scry Hard - An nefarious demonic attack leaves the Dolt with a gaping hole in his back fat, so the Psycho decides to trap both of his parents in a Manor-replica dollhouse up in the attic. Because he wants his father to bleed to death. And you still think that little freak is cute? |
2005.04.17 2005.04.23 |
Demian |
| 7-16 Recap |
This/Sucks The Seven Year Witch - And not even Julian McMahon's return to Charmed after two years on the far-superior Nip/Tuck can save it. No demons. No innocents. No Glamorous Lady in any real peril. No spells or potions or Gay Chris, either Tiny or Big. Just the Dolt, on an hour-long walkabout in the West Texas wilderness. I hate life. |
2005.04.10 2005.04.16 |
Demian |
| 7-15 Recap |
And The Band Played On Show Ghouls - Until they were all immolated in a horrific nightclub fire. And then they played some more, until they were immolated in another horrific nightclub fire, because the stupid band's caught in a stupid time loop. Morons. |
2005.02.20 2005.02.26 |
Demian |
| 7-14 Recap |
Zane's World Carpe Demon - Rejected alternate titles for this episode include The Zane Of Their Existence, Zane And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance, The Zane Mutiny, and The Legend Of Billy's Jeans. Billy Zane zooms into town, and Phoebe's panties may never be dry again. Damn you, Zane! |
2005.02.13 2005.02.19 |
Demian |
| 7-13 Recap |
Is That All There Is To Utopia? Is That All There Is? Charmageddon - This episode gets off to a start as rotten as I'm Not Candy's teeth, but they somehow manage to pull it together long enough in the second half to make this one of the best in a very long time. And in the end, Utopia's been reversed, the Avatars are gone for good, and Brody's a Whitelighter. Yeah, I know. That last bit does suck big bags of crap, doesn't it? |
2005.01.30 2005.02.05 |
Demian |
| 7-12 Recap |
Something Better Change Extreme Makeover: World Edition - And apparently what did change was the quality of the writing, the quality of the performances, and the quality of the special effects. They hit this one out of the park. No, I'm serious. Shockingly good. |
2005.01.23 2005.01.29 |
Demian |
| 7-11 Recap |
Secretly INSANE Brody And The Warehouse Of Doom Ordinary Witches - Raige drags her latest slampiece into the past to relive the single worst afternoon of his life, in all its gory detail. I think she likes him. |
2005.01.16 2005.01.17 |
Demian |
| 7-10 Recap |
Witless Protection Witchness Protection - The Glamorous Ladies try and fail to protect Charisma Carpenter from Oded Fehr's evil bee hands. Yawn. Wake me up when someone kills stupid Raige for her asinine behavior this evening. |
2004.11.28 2004.12.04 |
Demian |
| 7-9 Recap |
There's Something About The Dolt There's Something About Leo - And boy, is it sticky. Kidding! I kid because I hate. The Dolt drops the Avatar bomb on the Glamorous Ladies, and hijinks ensue. If by "hijinks," of course, one means "death and despair for everyone involved." It's the feel-good Thanksgiving episode you've been waiting six and half years to see! |
2004.11.21 2004.11.27 |
Demian |
| 7-8 Recap |
Farewell, My Liver Charmed Noir - No, I didn't actually pull a Ray Milland and drink myself into a stupor during this one, but the temptation certainly was there. Raige and Li'l Bulging Brody get sucked into a pulpy, derivative detective novel concocted by a couple of those pesky Nit!wits, and hijinks ensue. It's better than it sounds. No, really. |
2004.11.14 2004.11.20 |
Demian |
| 7-7 Recap |
Big Chris To Watch Over Me Someone To Witch Over Me - The Pretty returns for five minutes of drug-induced flashbacks to previous episodes. The flashbacks are hideously boring, but man. The Pretty. In a red t-shirt. With ridiculously bright new sneakers. Sigh. We missed you, Big Gay Chris. |
2004.10.31 2004.11.06 |
Demian |
| 7-6 Recap |
It's Just Another Menstrual Monday Once In A Blue Moon - The Glamorous Ladies are inexplicably transformed into hellhounds when the second blue moon in one year coincides with their synchronized menstrual cycles. Kill me. Now. |
2004.10.17 2004.10.23 |
Demian |
| 7-5 Recap |
If Death Doesn't Become Her, Will It At Least Shut Her Up? Styx Feet Under - The "her" of course being a strident, annoying Piper. And then a blisteringly repugnant Raige. Unfortunately, the hag best suited for a shroud remains vital and yappy throughout. Stupid Phoebe ruins everything! |
2004.10.10 2004.10.16 |
Demian |
| 7-4 Recap |
"Shiver Me Bitches!" Charrrmed! - Yes, the parrot said, "Shiver me bitches!" No, I don't know how they got that one past the suits at the WB. But let me tell you, it was the only worthwhile moment in this evening's entire presentation. Arrr! |
2004.10.03 2004.10.09 |
Demian |
| 7-3 Recap |
Wiccaning II: The, Um, Wiccaning, Actually Cheaper By The Coven - Tiny Gay Chris spends most of the hour desperately seeking some much-needed attention from his neglectful family, but this one's all about the evil Psycho's supposed issues. Boring! Thank God for Grams, because otherwise? This one would have sucked ass. |
2004.09.26 2004.10.02 |
Demian |
| 7-2 Recap |
Hag On A Nag The Bare Witch Project - Piper risks a citation when she unleashes her right breast in public and, in a desperate attempt to keep the thing from bubbling over, sticks its business end in Tiny Gay Chris's agile little mouth at an outdoor caf�. Meanwhile, a charismatic Elder's threat to shut out all vagrant Nit!wits from Not!warts leads pensive Raige to ponder a career change that could carry some genuine risk, but she seems not to regret her decision when she finally swaps diaper duty at the Manor for more lofty pursuits at the school. In other news, the Head needles the Dolt atop the Golden Gate Bridge, and things get real quiet at Casa Demian -- a Sunday silence, if you will -- when the Feebs plants her decidedly bare and old rosebud upon a horse in a spectacular bid to out-skank guest innocent Lady Godiva as many in the resulting crowd chant their approval and foolish pleasure at Phoebe's latest assault on all that is decent and good. Needless to say, the whole thing made Demian want to go for gin. Feebs? Behave yourself in the future, you unbridled whore. |
2004.09.19 2004.09.25 |
Demian |
| 7-1 Recap |
A Call To Many Crappy Arm-Like Digital Inserts Of Discontent A Call To Arms - Featured in this crap-packed season premiere are Piper, the Dolt, Phoebe, Raige, the Psycho, Tiny Gay Chris, Barbas, the Doormat, Pepper Anderson, Stupid Uncle Phil, our intrepid Girl Editor, the Not!warts Nit!wits, a disembodied Head thingy, some random demon from way back in Season Five, and professional boyband fucktard Nick Lachey. With a cast that large, it's no wonder they had nothing left in the budget for decent effects. |
2004.09.12 2004.09.18 |
Demian |
| 6-23 Recap |
The Passion Of The Chris, Part II It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad World, Part Two - Big Gay Chris dies, and nothing else will ever matter again. Don't worry about me, though. I'll just be over here, sucking on a tailpipe in anticipation of a Chrisless seventh season. Bastards. |
2004.05.16 2004.05.24 |
Demian |
| 6-22 Recap |
The Passion Of The Chris, Part I It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad World, Part One - Phoebe and Raige head to The Bizarro World to rescue Big Gay Chris and the Dolt as Piper heads into labor. Snidely and his Bizarro doppelganger are behind it all, of course, and surprisingly enough, Snidely's Bizarro version is a hell of a lot more entertaining than he is. Where did this shockingly entertaining episode come from, and why couldn't we have had more like it during the season? |
2004.05.16 2004.05.22 |
Demian |
| 6-21 Recap |
Biting the hand that snatches food from their mouths Witch Wars - Krista Vernoff retreats from that Wonderfalls debacle to pen this hourlong screed against the reality television genre. Pity the episode was pummeled in the ratings by the Survivor finale. Irony! |
2004.05.09 2004.05.15 |
Demian |
| 6-20 Recap |
Schlong Day's Journey Into Raige A Wrong Day's Journey Into Right - Don't look at me. The sickos on the forums came up with what you see above. And by the way, if they're going to reference that particular O'Neill play in an episode title, would it have killed them to saddle Piper with a morphine addition? I can just see her wandering through Not!warts with her wedding dress, babbling, "That was in the winter of senior year. Then in the spring something happened to me. Yes, I remember. I fell in love with a gargoyle-faced dolt and was so happy for a time!" It would be beautiful, man. Sniff. |
2004.05.02 2004.05.08 |
Demian |
| 6-19 Recap |
Sex Is Like A Misdemeanor Crimes And Witch-Demeanors - Da more you miss, da meaner you get. No, it has absolutely nothing to do with this episode, but trust me: It's better this way. |
2004.04.25 2004.05.02 |
Demian |
| 6-18 Recap |
Chris Of The Spider Woman Spin City - Sooner or later you're certain to meet -- in [72virg=ins], the Manor, the street -- there's no place on earth you're likely to miss Big Chris. Sooner or later! The Presidio's Dolt's doom! Chris's red contacts flicker in the dark of the gloom! And the webbing will shake. And the son? He is pissed! Here comes Big Chris. |
2004.04.18 2004.04.24 |
Demian |
| 6-17 Recap |
"Pointless Filler Episode Number 128" Hyde School Reunion - Containing "Stock Character Number 32," "Stock Character Number 87," "Stock Character Number 146," "Stock Character Number 253," and "The Feebs." This show blows. |
2004.03.14 2004.03.21 |
Demian |
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