Episode Report Card Jeff Long: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Go Away
By Jeff Long | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 02.05.2008
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.First, and most importantly, Lucy Liu was wearing a butt load of HOT in this episode. Girl looked good.
Davis and Juliet agreed that they were telling their friends that they were having a trial separation. Also, Emily was in trouble at school for uploading a picture of herself onto the internet that showed her holding a bong and a bottle of vodka. She freaked out on her parents about how hard it is to be a rich kid (Cilla Gray's son used his mom's affair with Davis as an opening line for hitting on Em -- classy family there), then she begged to go to boarding school. Juliet consented but then asked Emily to consider living at home with her.
Zoë is really busy with work. She has a flirtation with her "work husband." On the night of her tenth anniversary with Eric, she has an out-of-town work meeting with work husband, but decides at the last minute that she should be with Eric. They keep missing each other but finally find each other right before midnight.
Mia takes Jason to a dinner at Zoë's house, where she meets Zoë's new "Manny," Adam. He's a photographer, and Mia agrees to look at his stuff, and he, in return, takes an interest in her stuff. They end up making out at Zoë's house, and Zoë walks in and gets a little annoyed.
At that same dinner, Alicia tells Caitlin that she's pregnant. I know. Caitlin is like, "Congratulations," which seems to be the most realistic, honest, and hilarious reaction that you could have under the circumstances. Alicia was apparently attempting artificial insemination with her ex-girlfriend and didn't want to let that one last batch go to waste. So, Caitlin proceeds to go out with the guy Sam from the lesbian bridal shower, and further proceeds to sleep with him. I hate to point it out again, but she and Sam have SO MUCH MORE chemistry than she has with Alicia. Alicia finds out about Sam and tells Caitlin that it's normal that she would waffle a bit about her lesbianation.
Zoë convinces Juliet to talk to a lawyer, since Davis has access to all of their accounts and he has had sticky fingers as of late. They go to a high-powered attorney but should have called first-- he represents Davis, who earlier had said he wasn’t getting "lawyered up!" The war has begun! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: Mia decided that she would give it a go with the brain surgeon. Caitlin flirted with a guy. Zoë and Eric tried to negotiate their time commitments. Juliet threw Davis out of the mansion.
Plingy pling music and it's New York in the morning. This show is begging for a voiceover, but it can't have one. Zoë and Eric wake face to face. They kiss, and immediately one of the kids knocks on their door and says that there's a caterer downstairs. Eric didn't know they were having a dinner, but Zoë insists that she told him. They got the service at the auction for the school, and she'd moved it around so many times that they have to use it now. "The girls" are coming over for the food for which Eric and Zoë overpaid. Zoë runs out of bed to grab her Blackberry as Eric begs her to try to get "in sync" with him. She says she's sorry, but this is the biggest deal she has been a part of in years. He moves on and asks her what she wants to do about Thursday. What's Thursday? she asks. Bad move, Zoë. It's your tenth and last wedding anniversary. D'oh. Zoë tries to act like she knew, but Eric starts laughing, and Zoë is embarrassed. He says that he has not been "husband of the year" either. Gross. That sentence was so stupid. I'm trying, Cashmere Mafia! Don't make me hate your cliché ass. I haven't been Show of the Year either, but could we try to get in sync? Zoë says that she wishes she could stop the world, but that she didn't learn that in B-school. You gotta get your PhD for that stuff. The other kid screams for Eric: the kid's hamster won't move. Eric tells Zoë there will be no more hamsters.
At her office, Juliet thanks Davis for meeting her. They're being cordial. She asks him how he is, and he says he's lonely. But he's smiling. Davis is one dumb son of a bitch, but he must have a bad-ass life. He doesn't really seem to get anything. He tells Juliet that he's telling everyone that they are just in a trial separation, and aren't "lawyered up." Juliet says that she's doing the same. Then, Juliet shows Davis the laptop computer on her desk. It's Emily's Facebook page (or something similar); there's a picture of Emily holding a bong and a bottle of vodka and she appears to be standing in front of her school. As posed as a lot of those pictures look, none will ever look as posed as Emily here. On her profile, for orientation, she wrote, "I'll try anything once." Sounds like an open-minded girl. I don't see what the problem is. Davis is totally freaked out. He says that he misses the ponytails and braces. Oh, she'll try anything once. The school is suspending her for a week. Emily is on a trip to Washington right now,and will be back the next day. Davis suggests selling the apartment and moving to Westchester. Juliet says that moving to the suburbs won't save their marriage.
Zoë calls and Davis leaves. She says that Davis has "a lot" of their "accounts" holding private capital at Zoë's company. I know-- it's like there's one bank or something. Zoë asks Juliet if she wants her to investigate. Juliet says she's not sure she wants to know about them, but Zoë tells her that she has to. Then, she says she has to go because she's meeting with the Zurich office online. "The work husband?" asks Juliet. Zoë confirms that she does a work husband. Zoë says she'll see Juliet that night, and then she hangs up and primps in reverie to the work husband. Zoë pushes a button and it's Max Medina on the videoconference screen! Zoë and Max use some opaque corporate talk that doesn't really mean anything, and then Zoë asks Max how his family is. He's just like Zoë and never sees them -- he missed his son's first soccer goal. Didn't Bettina get a picture? (Apparently, he's married over there. This Max -- he's a mysterious one.) He asks Zoë how her "home life" is, and she says that she thinks she forgot to tell Eric about a dinner party they are having. He asks her if she "fessed up," and she says she "pulled a Nicholas" and dodged it. Ew, this is so forced. Zoë says that she couldn't expect Eric to understand that she's thinking about stuff and has jet lag. Yeah, it's fucking bewildering how insane your life is, Zoë. It's a miracle your whole body doesn't just explode. Zoë tells Max that her girlfriends call Max her work husband. He says that the guys in Zurich have a variation that roughly translates to "desk mistress." What he doesn't tell her is that is the title of Zurich's most popular game show. Zoë says that's not them; they've never met. But they will: Max is flying to New York tomorrow. Zoë looks all nervous, but this is so totally devoid of tension. You know nothing's going to happen.