Go Away

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First, and most importantly, Lucy Liu was wearing a butt load of HOT in this episode. Girl looked good.

Davis and Juliet agreed that they were telling their friends that they were having a trial separation. Also, Emily was in trouble at school for uploading a picture of herself onto the internet that showed her holding a bong and a bottle of vodka. She freaked out on her parents about how hard it is to be a rich kid (Cilla Gray's son used his mom's affair with Davis as an opening line for hitting on Em -- classy family there), then she begged to go to boarding school. Juliet consented but then asked Emily to consider living at home with her.

Zoë is really busy with work. She has a flirtation with her "work husband." On the night of her tenth anniversary with Eric, she has an out-of-town work meeting with work husband, but decides at the last minute that she should be with Eric. They keep missing each other but finally find each other right before midnight.

Mia takes Jason to a dinner at Zoë's house, where she meets Zoë's new "Manny," Adam. He's a photographer, and Mia agrees to look at his stuff, and he, in return, takes an interest in her stuff. They end up making out at Zoë's house, and Zoë walks in and gets a little annoyed.

At that same dinner, Alicia tells Caitlin that she's pregnant. I know. Caitlin is like, "Congratulations," which seems to be the most realistic, honest, and hilarious reaction that you could have under the circumstances. Alicia was apparently attempting artificial insemination with her ex-girlfriend and didn't want to let that one last batch go to waste. So, Caitlin proceeds to go out with the guy Sam from the lesbian bridal shower, and further proceeds to sleep with him. I hate to point it out again, but she and Sam have SO MUCH MORE chemistry than she has with Alicia. Alicia finds out about Sam and tells Caitlin that it's normal that she would waffle a bit about her lesbianation.

Zoë convinces Juliet to talk to a lawyer, since Davis has access to all of their accounts and he has had sticky fingers as of late. They go to a high-powered attorney but should have called first-- he represents Davis, who earlier had said he wasn’t getting "lawyered up!" The war has begun! Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Previously: Mia decided that she would give it a go with the brain surgeon. Caitlin flirted with a guy. Zoë and Eric tried to negotiate their time commitments. Juliet threw Davis out of the mansion.

Plingy pling music and it's New York in the morning. This show is begging for a voiceover, but it can't have one. Zoë and Eric wake face to face. They kiss, and immediately one of the kids knocks on their door and says that there's a caterer downstairs. Eric didn't know they were having a dinner, but Zoë insists that she told him. They got the service at the auction for the school, and she'd moved it around so many times that they have to use it now. "The girls" are coming over for the food for which Eric and Zoë overpaid. Zoë runs out of bed to grab her Blackberry as Eric begs her to try to get "in sync" with him. She says she's sorry, but this is the biggest deal she has been a part of in years. He moves on and asks her what she wants to do about Thursday. What's Thursday? she asks. Bad move, Zoë. It's your tenth and last wedding anniversary. D'oh. Zoë tries to act like she knew, but Eric starts laughing, and Zoë is embarrassed. He says that he has not been "husband of the year" either. Gross. That sentence was so stupid. I'm trying, Cashmere Mafia! Don't make me hate your cliché ass. I haven't been Show of the Year either, but could we try to get in sync? Zoë says that she wishes she could stop the world, but that she didn't learn that in B-school. You gotta get your PhD for that stuff. The other kid screams for Eric: the kid's hamster won't move. Eric tells Zoë there will be no more hamsters.

At her office, Juliet thanks Davis for meeting her. They're being cordial. She asks him how he is, and he says he's lonely. But he's smiling. Davis is one dumb son of a bitch, but he must have a bad-ass life. He doesn't really seem to get anything. He tells Juliet that he's telling everyone that they are just in a trial separation, and aren't "lawyered up." Juliet says that she's doing the same. Then, Juliet shows Davis the laptop computer on her desk. It's Emily's Facebook page (or something similar); there's a picture of Emily holding a bong and a bottle of vodka and she appears to be standing in front of her school. As posed as a lot of those pictures look, none will ever look as posed as Emily here. On her profile, for orientation, she wrote, "I'll try anything once." Sounds like an open-minded girl. I don't see what the problem is. Davis is totally freaked out. He says that he misses the ponytails and braces. Oh, she'll try anything once. The school is suspending her for a week. Emily is on a trip to Washington right now,and will be back the day. Davis suggests selling the apartment and moving to Westchester. Juliet says that moving to the suburbs won't save their marriage.

Zoë calls and Davis leaves. She says that Davis has "a lot" of their "accounts" holding private capital at Zoë's company. I know-- it's like there's one bank or something. Zoë asks Juliet if she wants her to investigate. Juliet says she's not sure she wants to know about them, but Zoë tells her that she has to. Then, she says she has to go because she's meeting with the Zurich office online. "The work husband?" asks Juliet. Zoë confirms that she does a work husband. Zoë says she'll see Juliet that night, and then she hangs up and primps in reverie to the work husband. Zoë pushes a button and it's Max Medina on the videoconference screen! Zoë and Max use some opaque corporate talk that doesn't really mean anything, and then Zoë asks Max how his family is. He's just like Zoë and never sees them -- he missed his son's first soccer goal. Didn't Bettina get a picture? (Apparently, he's married over there. This Max -- he's a mysterious one.) He asks Zoë how her "home life" is, and she says that she thinks she forgot to tell Eric about a dinner party they are having. He asks her if she "fessed up," and she says she "pulled a Nicholas" and dodged it. Ew, this is so forced. Zoë says that she couldn't expect Eric to understand that she's thinking about stuff and has jet lag. Yeah, it's fucking bewildering how insane your life is, Zoë. It's a miracle your whole body doesn't just explode. Zoë tells Max that her girlfriends call Max her work husband. He says that the guys in Zurich have a variation that roughly translates to "desk mistress." What he doesn't tell her is that is the title of Zurich's most popular game show. Zoë says that's not them; they've never met. But they will: Max is flying to New York tomorrow. Zoë looks all nervous, but this is so totally devoid of tension. You know nothing's going to happen.

Mia is walking to her office, and being followed by a bunch of screaming employees. Loser Todd says that his ad pages and circulation are up, but Clive keeps talking to him like he's "dogging it." All of the business talk on this show is so vague and clearly written by people who don't really know what they're writing about. It's like those girls on All My Children talking about the business side of Enchantment: it totally embarrasses me. Mia tries to explain that Clive is on edge because his wife is out of town. Then Clive walks in and asks if everyone is planning a mutiny. He demands to talk to Mia about her talking points for a Wall Street Journal interview that is days away.

That night, Jason and Mia are walking to the dinner party at Zoë's. He asks several questions about the guests, and Mia tells him that it's dinner, not a procedure. He says that everything is a procedure, and challenges her to name one thing that's not. That's actually kind of intriguing, and I can't stop trying to think of things that aren't procedures. It's crippling me!

At Zoë's, Mia and Jason join Juliet, Zoë, Caitlin, and Alicia. Mia says that it's nice to meet her, finally. You'd think that would be the main focus of the party and that Zoë would have told Eric, "Dude this is the party where we get to meet Caitlin's GIRLFRIEND," but no. Poor Caitlin is always in the corner. When Jason gets introduced, Zoë and Juliet stare at him; Jason says, "There won't be any drinking, and I promise to have her home by 11." Alicia says, "I know exactly how you feel." I guess they were supposed to be reacting to some protective looks or something from "the girls," but it was really heavy-handed. I hope the new lip gloss from Enchantment is everything I could have wanted. Jason tells Zoë that he has heard she has a celebrity chef cooking for them that evening. Yes, it's Luc Richard. Jason asks if he could watch Richard work; he had a kitchen dinner at Bella once, and watching the chef was the most fascinating kind of operating theater. Listen, that's, like, exactly what he said. Why is this Jason guy getting all the cool lines? It was still dorky as hell, but I like it when they really go for it. Caitlin seems impressed or frightened by him.

With Jason gone, the ladies sit. Mia says that she likes Jason, but that he's "intense in focus," and that she gets enough stress in work. Caitlin says that Mia needs a "tension tamer." A guy with whom she can have no-strings sex. Zoë says that Mia can't boil an egg without having a tri-part global strategy. They know her so well. Caitlin says that Mia needs to get Jack out of her system, and she says that she would, in fact, need a tri-part global strategy for that. Suddenly, Alicia asks to be excused and she goes to the bathroom.

Then, that hot piece, Jamie, from 30 Rock, brings a martini into the room. I have this dream all the time. Zoë introduces him as Adam, their new Manny. Urgh. Then, she shows Mia a picture Adam took. Everybody thinks it's great. Adam leaves and everybody talks about how cute he is. Juliet hasn't said anything yet. That's weird. Caitlin thinks that Eric is either a prince or an idiot for hiring Adam (Eric's no slouch), and Zoë confirms that Eric is a prince, to which Caitlin responds, "Yawn." Wow.

Then Zoë whispers that work husband is coming to town. She says that when she heard he was coming, she got a shiver. Mia points out that finding a work husband is harder than finding a real husband. Everyone giggles. Jason comes out and says that he got a page, so he has to leave. Once he's gone, Caitlin says that he's a little intense, and that she needs a "tension tamer." Mia's phone rings, and it's Clive. Caitlin says that she has to check on Alicia, and leaves the room.

With everyone gone, Juliet tells Zoë that this is her first night out as a separated woman, and that Emily is in trouble at school. She mentions that Davis's solution was to sell their apartment and move to Westchester, and mentions that it would raise a lot of cash, because she and Zoë are always talking about money. Zoë asks Juliet how, as a COO, she could let Davis control all of their finances, and Juliet responds that it was always that way. Zoë says that, if Davis is draining their mutual accounts, there is nothing she can do until she gets a divorce attorney. Juliet says that Zoë always brings the party, and they laugh.

Outside, Mia is having a phone call with Clive, who is apparently always ALWAYS screaming. He must have a ton of friends. Adam brings her another drink. You would think this catered affair that Zoë won would have included a bartender. Just saying. Mia tells Adam that his photograph was beautiful, and asks him whether photography is a hobby for him. He got a BFA at RISD, bitch. They're really flirting. She says that she'll give him her card, and they'll talk more about his "photography." Then, they go back inside.

Caitlin enters some random bedroom in Zoë's house to find Alicia lying on a bed. She asks Alicia if she had any of the mini crab cakes, because she thought they tasted funny. It's not the crab cakes: Alicia's pregnant. Uh, yeah. By a donor. She and her ex had been trying, and after they broke up, Alicia decided to try one more time. And it took. She asks Caitlin if she has anything to say. Caitlin thinks and says...well, the only real thing you could say: "Congratulations." That is funny. Then, it 's commercial time, and we have to hear that infernal music. I really hate the score. It's killing me.

The morning...wait. Don't you want to know how Caitlin and Alicia got out of that bedroom? Did they tell anyone else the news? Was Caitlin awkward? I want to know! Anyway: the morning, Eric and Zoë are hung over from the grappa. Eric must have been drinking in the kitchen. Eric suggests that they just give each other gifts for their anniversary. Zoë says that the traditional gift for a ten-year anniversary is tin. Eric says he might get Zoë license plates. Then, Eric turns all the way around in order to have his eye accidentally caught by a picture of the two of them at a tropical location. He picks up the picture and looks at it as Zoë reenters the room. He says, "I miss her." (The old Zoë, that is.) He misses the way they used to be. This angers Zoë a little, because doesn't he think she misses that too? Eric doesn't want to argue, though -- it's not like their marriage will be annulled if they don't have a bash for the anniversary. Actually, that's part of the Defense of Marriage Act. Vote wisely! Eric says that he's still trying to move his business meeting.

The day, at Mia's office, Clive is having a talk with Mia and all her editors. Doesn't he have an office? Isn't he the boss? Why is he traveling to Mia's office all the time? Isn't it sort of a power play to make people come to your office? It just seems like Clive's giving up power to come to Mia's office, and I don't think he'd do that. It makes him seem sitcom-y, too. So, Clive is upset that everyone is not as stressed as he is. Magazine publishing is a dying business, and everyone's acting like they're selling iPhones. He wants people to go back to their offices and get stressed! He then chases everyone out of the office, and leaves himself. Mia -- who is wearing a really interesting orange suit and has her hair in this wavy side do and her makeup is so sharp and perfect -- gets a phone call from Adam. He kids that she must be dying to see his portfolio and him, and Mia says that he's a mind reader.

At her office, Zoë's wearing a halter dress, which seems like an odd choice until you realize that she's gotta keep the work husband interested. She and Max awkwardly kiss on the cheek. Zoë's acting like she's in junior high. Max says that it's true what they say: she has legs. And, they're lovely legs. Which he's allowed to say because he has lived in Europe for three years? Zoë says that Max has lived in Switzerland, so he's supposed to remain neutral. Good one. Not really. Just as Max sits, Katherine comes into the office and sort of throws herself at Max, which is always entertaining. After she leaves, Max asks how many men in the office Katherine has been through. Zoë asks him how he knew, and he says that, in his office, there is a Claudia and a Joelle, which I don't think I get. Then, Zoë and Max sort of stare at each other a little more. BORING.

At her office, Caitlin gets a visit from Sam, the guy she flirted with at the baby shower. He asks her how her sexual confusion was going, as if it were a project that she would be completing sometime soon. She replies that it's always an adventure, and asks him what his surname is (Morgan), and she recognizes it as the name of a famous playwright. She loved his play Our Lady Of Great Neck, which is a pretty awesome title. He asks if she'd like to go to dinner, and suddenly her assistant tells her that Alicia is on the phone. Caitlin immediately says that she will call Alicia back. Danger. Sam tells Caitlin that Tom Stoppard is being feted at "Mike and Diane's," and Sam would like to take her. She notes that he dropped some names, and says she doesn't want to go to the dinner. So, will she do dinner with just Sam the night? She asks why he's trying so hard with her, and he says it's because she is cute and "didn't bat an eye" when she called him out on the name-dropping. I don't really understand what that means. Why would you bat an eye at that? Caitlin agrees to dinner, and Sam leaves with a handshake and a kiss on the cheek. That dude is sexy, and he and Caitlin are really hot together.

At her school, Emily storms out the front door with Juliet and Davis behind her. She says that the picture was fake: she was being ironic about her the cliché of the Chasen girl. It was still inappropriate, and she apologizes. However, she hates Chasen and wants to go away to boarding school. She goes to school with Cilla Gray's son, Brian, and he apparently used his mom's affair with Davis as a come-on. Clever kid. Juliet seems struck by Emily's desire to leave Chasen. She says that Emily's a good kid.

At Mia's office, Adam is showing Mia his portfolio. She likes it. She sees a nude picture of Adam and his ex-girlfriend, and he says that it's a little "Annie Leibovitz John Lennon and Yoko Ono." No cooler-than-thou RISD grad would compare himself to someone as bourgeois as Leibovitz, and I would seriously stake...something very important on that. Then, Adam pulls out a camera and, despite her protests, takes a picture of Mia. He's a bad actor, but his dimples make me warm inside. Tracy enters to pull Mia out for a meeting, so she says goodbye to Adam, telling him she wants to hold onto his portfolio for a day so that she can show the art director. Adam kisses her on the cheek, and then leaves.

Zoë and Max are working together on different phones in a room full of people, like hostage negotiators. Max tells Zoë that he agreed on her behalf that the two of them would work with some guy in Southampton. He likes the personal touch. Zoë can't (anniversary), but Max insists: he wants to get this deal done. Zoë will see what she can do about moving her "appointment."

Later, Zoë and Eric are bickering about their schedules, while Adam walks with the kids. Eric says that he moved a bunch of people's schedules around to be free on their anniversary. At this moment, Adam gets a text message from Mia saying that she got some feedback on his portfolio and asking if he wants to meet later. Eric tells Zoë that they both need a wife (word!), and Eric joins the kids. Zoë seems kind of crushed, which I'm not sure she really has the right to be. Eric turns around and says, with outstretched hand, "Let's go home." But Zoë shakes her head. I wonder where she's going? Seriously.

That night, in her office, Mia's looking through Adam's portfolio with him and giving him the art department's feedback. She says that one person said his shots needed "more attitude, more edge." Then, we hear Clive screaming at someone. Mia says that Adam should go. He asks her to go for a drink with him. She says no for tonight, but adds, "We'll see" for the future. Then, as she's walking Adam out, he turns around and gives her what amounts to one of the least hot kisses ever on TV.

Sam and Caitlin are out having dinner and drinks. Caitlin's telling Sam about Alicia's pregnancy. He asks whether she had been hiding it; she had -- she is three months along. He asks Caitlin whether she noticed any weight gain, and Caitlin says she thought it was "I'm-so-in-love poundage." Not so crazy, actually. Sam tells Caitlin that his shrink has told him to talk less and listen more, which has given him the opportunity to see all that is out there (all that is out there=Caitlin). Then, he kisses her. Suddenly, Sam sees a man enter the restaurant. It's a producer to whom he owes a script, so he drops a fork and sticks his head under the table. Oh, strange, Alicia is with the producer, so Caitlin sticks her head under the table, too. Sam asks Caitlin whether she owes a script to the producer too. She doesn't explain; she just says they have to get out of there. Sam leaves his credit card on the table and they sneak out of the kitchen. Outside, they kiss in the alley. It's kind of hot, no?

The day, Zoë tells Juliet on the phone that she has to get a divorce attorney if she wants to stop Davis from spending all of her money. She's going to set up a meeting with Rafe Gropman, attorney-at-law. Juliet asks Zoë to keep it anonymous.

Caitlin is totally hung over at work when Alicia arrives with lunch. She asks Caitlin what she did the night before, and Caitlin says that she went to dinner and was overserved. Alicia says that she went to dinner the night before, too, but Caitlin already knows that. Busted. Caitlin says that she slept with Sam. So much for showing instead of telling. Alicia asks why Caitlin can't be straight with her. Heh. Alicia says that she doesn't want any jokes, but Caitlin reminds Alicia that she lied about a freaking pregnancy. Alicia says that she doesn't want to own Caitlin; she just wants to trust her. It's not uncommon to go back and forth between guys and girls when you're trying to figure out who you are. That's certainly an original arrangement, but not necessarily believable. Caitlin says that she's never had what she has with Alicia, so they kind of bump shoulders in a hug fashion.

Juliet is with Emily and a woman as Emily is interviewed for a school. The woman asks what it is about Chasen that makes her want to change schools, and Juliet just blurts that Emily posted a provocative picture of herself in front of the school flag. Emily is mortified, but Juliet says that she and the woman were classmates at the school where Emily is interviewing. They wouldn't have covered that when they went into the interview room? The lady says that Juliet holds the record for most suspensions and probations for a student who actually graduated. Then, she welcomes Emily to the school and leaves. Why can't every transaction in life be this easy? Juliet explains to Emily that she's not that different from the way Juliet was as a girl. She says that she turned into "Juliet" once she realized that her parents weren't going to take her back home. She taught herself some discipline. Juliet adds that, because she loves Emily and things with Juliet's own mother were never the same after Juliet went to boarding school, she would love for Emily to stay at home with her.

In Southampton, Zoë and Max are working. They finish a conference call and are apparently done with their work. Zoë notes that they went all the way there for ten minutes of face time with the big guy, so she wonders if Max set this up. He says that he would never inconvenience a colleague like that, but they are making a version of goo-goo eyes at each other. He asks Zoë if she'd be flattered or offended if he'd arranged for it, and she says she'd be flattered! Max says that he may be coming to work in New York. They decide to grab some dinner, but Zoë finds a picture of her family in her suitcase that Eric put there. Zoë says that she's going to try to burn rubber and get home to see Eric before their anniversary is over.

Mia and Jason are walking on the street together when Jason says he has to get back to the hospital. Before he leaves, he says that he doesn't do casual relationships: he likes Mia, and he won't always be busy. I'm assuming that information was related. Mia tells him not to be worried about his schedule, because she feels like Lois Lane when he goes off to save a life. Jason leaves in a cab just as Mia receives a text from Adam. It says that he is alone at Zoë's. She thinks for a second, and then grabs a taxi. She gets to Zoë's, where she and Adam immediately start making out.

There's a Wendy's commercial about how their fish sandwich is all "premium" which, if that's not total bullshit, then I don't know what.

Emily can't sleep, so she gets into bed with Juliet. She says that some of her friends from eighth grade are in public school and they really like it. Juliet asks Emily if she wants Juliet to set up an interview! Ha! Emily informs her that she won't need an interview for public school. Emily gives a little and says that they might be able to take a tour, and Juliet says that they'll do that. That was kind of sweet!

Mia and Adam are making out when Zoë bursts through the door. She screams, then Mia scream. Ha! Mia's face is covered in lipstick and she laughs and says, "It's not what it looks like!" This is funny. Adam tells Zoë that Eric went to Southampton to find Zoë.

, we see Eric knocking on the door of a hotel in Southampton. So sad, he and Zoë are never going to find each other. Max answers the door in a robe and immediately knows that he needs to explain himself. He tells Eric that Zoë went home to be with Eric. As Max is closing the door, Eric's phone rings and it's Zoë. She tells him to sit tight: she'll be there.

Zoë asks her driver to taker her back to Southampton just as a disheveled Mia runs out the door. She and Zoë talk over each other and decide to discuss her indiscretion at a later date.

In Southampton, Zoë gets to Eric with two minutes remaining in their anniversary. They're kissy kissy happy.

The morning, Mia -- looking smoking hot in a white suit -- is ready for the WSJ reporter. Clive comes into her office and tries to prep her again, but she makes him stop. She asks when his wife is coming back, and tells him he needs to get laid.

Later, Zoë goes over the rules for Mia dating her Manny. Adam and Mia can't do anything else in Zoë's house, and Mia has to clear weekend nights with Zoë. Mia says that she made a mistake, and Zoë replies, "We all make mistakes." That Zoë is going to fall off of her high horse one day. It ain't gonna be pretty. However, it will probably be entertaining.

Caitlin shows up and is a mess about her current situation. She sits with the girls and tells them that she feels like a train wreck. She doesn't want to talk anymore; she just wants to sit there with them. After only a few seconds, though, Caitlin and Zoë realize that they're late.

, we see them joining Juliet, walking so very briskly like fancy ladies do into a lawyer's office. Juliet says it's not necessary for them to be there, but Zoë says that they were there for her wedding, and Caitlin says they'll be there for Juliet's divorce. Zoë says that Rafe, the attorney, is the most powerful shark in New York. Juliet's in good hands.

The girls enter Rafe's office (it's Harris Yulin! Awesome!), and he greets Zoë. Rafe sees everyone and says that he doesn't give group rates. Zoë introduces Juliet and he asks if Draper is her married or maiden name. When he hears that it's her married name, he asks if Davis is her husband. Uh, yeah. Well, he can't talk to her. Zoë tells Juliet that it would seem as though Davis has already retained Rafe Gropman. Snap! Juliet touches her brow, and Rafe pushes some tissue toward her because he thinks that she's crying. She looks at him like he's crazy and says, "Does anyone need a tissue?" Then, she wishes him luck representing Davis, and struts out whence she strutted in.

Send your comments, and predictions for the upcoming presidential election, to jeff.long75@gmail.com.