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Mia's launching Modern Man, a magazine that Jack had worked on before he got canned. The editor, who was a Jack find, submits a cover photo of a man being eaten by a woman. Mia insists that this is unfair, but lets the cover run...with an open letter to Jack saying essentially that she loved him and is sorry that he can't deal with her awesomeness, and she eats oatmeal.
A blog about New York businesswomen starts publishing blind items that are clearly about Mia, Caitlin, and Juliet. Juliet finds out it's Cilla Gray writing the blog, because the $100 million woman needs a pastime, I presume. Juliet freaks out and gets a zit because Lily Parish reads the item and wants to know who the lesbian at the office is. She spins her wheels with Alicia a little more and ends up making out on the street again.
Zoë goes on a business trip with Clayton, and he invites Katherine! Katherine gives away the firm's commissions in a deal, but Clayton says nothing. Zoë realizes why later when she sees the two canoodling. She tells Clayton to break it off and avoid a lawsuit, so he PROMOTES her to associate. Eric is shirtless in two scenes, and it is nice.
Juliet is pursued by Bobby Walsh, who comes to town to be with her. She confronts Cilla Gray about the blog and tells her to stop dishing about her friends. She finds out that Cilla and Davis went to Anguilla, their "spot," so she decides to follow through with an affair with Bobby. They're on the bed and half-naked when she starts giggling. She wants to stay with Davis. However, later, she tells Davis that they're even, clearly knowing that he thinks she's slept with someone else. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: Caitlin became wishy-washy about her lesbian dalliance. Mia is still dumped. Zoë's assistant Katherine smells like Eve Harrington. Juliet is considering punishing Davis with an affair of her own, but she only went as far as kissing old B-schoolmate Bobby Walsh.
Ooh, here's a shot of New York from the Hudson River side. And suddenly we're on a Greenwich Village street and a Town Car passes a converted carriage house. It's Zoë's. I know I promised to not be this guy, but I have to right now. I'm going to out myself now as a huge fan of Sex and the City. I thought most episodes were like Dawn Powell short stories -- urbane, poignant, always stylish. And Darren Star created it, right? So, could someone explain to me why this show is presenting a New York as seen through the eyes of a mole person? I can understand a Hollywood type getting Omaha or Juneau wrong, but New York? Haven't they all been here before? Didn't most of them start out as playwrights or theatre professionals who decided they needed to make some money, so they shipped themselves off to the crumbling coast? It's like they've never really seen it. Maybe I'm just not giving enough credit to the creative team of SATC for being as good as they were at making New York a character in the show, but what I'm seeing...it doesn't work. For instance, I'm sorry, but Zoë doesn't live in Greenwich Village. She just doesn't. I don't think she lives downtown at all, but if she does...maybe Tribeca. She does not live in the Village. It sounds like a small thing to contest, but it's not. I'm annoying myself right now, but I swear I'm right about this.
Zoë is scrambling around her bedroom while Eric lies shirtless in bed. This Eric, he's a handsome guy, no? She's babbling all sorts of nonsense about her kids and things that he has to remember because she's going to Boston on business, as if he's not the guy who had to remind her about the bulletin board in their house. Seriously, did the writer of this week's episode not WATCH last week's episode? Of course Eric knows all of this stuff! Her kids would have scurvy if it weren't for him. She asks him if he's listening and he says, "Sasha's the girl and Luke's the boy, right?" Dur. They laugh about it and kiss and she's out of there.
Juliet is brushing her hair at her dressing table. She gets a call; it's Bobby Walsh. He asks her if she's alone and she answers, "Aren't we all, really?" Wow, way to bring all the boys to the yard, Juliet. Nothing turns on a potential suitor like an existential quip. He says they don't have to be alone, except for right now, I guess, since he's in London. He will be back in New York in a few weeks on business -- the business being that of pitching woo with Mrs. Juliet. She hears someone coming and says that she has to get off the phone.
As she's hanging up, Davis enters the room clad in a towel, another towel is around his neck. I thought that only happened in hotels. Guess I'm poor. He mentions that it was early phone call and she replies that it was London "with some booking issues." Davis suggests that the two of them revisit their old haunt, Anguilla. Panama City Beach, that ain't. Juliet says that it would be a wonderful idea if it were her and Davis, B.C. (Before Cilla). And suddenly, I want to tell poor Juliet to shit or get off the pot. You knew your husband cheated on you before, but suddenly you're devastated by him choosing a hometown hook-up? Weird. I can even understand her being upset that Davis had chosen to break the agreement that Juliet had secretly made with herself and...herself. She was resigned to Davis cheating as long as it was out of town. Fine, whatever gets you through the night. But to now be so completely steamrolled by his affair with Cilla? Methinks fair Juliet ought reconsider her priorities.
In actuality, what I think is happening here is the writers are trying to create this picture of a troubled, urbane marriage, but they haven't really developed the circumstances to sustain this level of tension. We know that 1) Juliet knew Davis cheated on her and 2) Juliet is completely destroyed over Davis's affair with Cilla Gray. It just kind of makes Juliet seem like a twit. There's not a wall around the city -- Davis having an affair with someone out of town doesn't mean that person doesn't have contact with, or can't one day become a part of, your "world." These little cracks in logic are a real problem for this show. I'm sure we're not supposed to think that Juliet is a moron.
Davis leans down and asks Juliet in what way can he apologize "that will actually land." Awkward. She says that words or plans won't make it better -- it's going to take time. Seriously -- WHATEVER. Does it seem like Juliet is actually trying to work through anything right now? Anything that time will fix? I'm so disturbed by her right now. But her black slip is lovely.
For the sake of argument, I'm going to add one last thing about Juliet's predicament. Maybe Davis' cheating with someone she knows has put a spotlight on his infidelities. Now she can no longer ignore it, and that's what's upsetting her so. It just doesn't feel like the writers are giving us this picture. Something's missing.
Mia is having a meeting with the staff of Modern Man. She says that the magazine is not supposed to reflect where men are, it's supposed to tell them where they are supposed to be. Anything that could have been in last month's issue -- well, let's just call the magazine Caveman and pulp the whole thing. Laughs from the staff. Is it really a job of the publisher to have meetings like this? Wouldn't an editor-in-chief being leading a meeting about the creative direction of a magazine? In any event, someone would not go from selling ads one day to this sort of meeting the . Another logic point for the writers.
This shlumpy guy sitting on a sofa says, "Understood," in response to Mia's rant. She asks him (Todd is his name) who shot the cover and when is she going to see it. Jeremy Falcon shot it and she's going to see it today. She doesn't know who that is, but Todd says she will. Mmm-hmm. Todd's attitude is what she's looking for, she tells everyone else at the meeting as she ends it.
Everyone leaves Mia's office, except for Todd. When alone, he tells Mia that he wants to make sure there's nothing weird about him working there, since he was Jack's hire and had been working with him. She tells him that she and Jack had an amicable breakup, so there would be no awkwardness. He looks at her like she just spoke in tongues. He says, "Good to know," and leaves her office. So, I'm guessing that Todd is the editor-in-chief of Modern Man? Odd choice for the leader of a magazine trying to brand itself as the guidebook for what's cool and current. He looks more like he'd be working in IT.
Mia's assistant enters and tells Mia that she has another meeting and that her mother called and wants to know if she and JACK will be having dinner with her. Um, Mia forgot something. She tells the assistant that she can just write down her phone messages from now on. Then she's outta there. Maybe she's embarrassed to tell her mom that she got the ol' heave-ho from Jack.
Later, the Mafia ladies, minus Caitlin, are having breakfast at Juliet's hotel. Juliet is telling everyone about her call from Bobby. Mia's all, "Mmm, international phone sex?" How 1998 is that joke? Juliet says that Bobby will be coming to town to see her, and Zoë seems disturbed that Juliet is still considering a fling with him. She thinks that revenge sex is "a little yuck." Mia informs Zoë that, if your husband cheats on you, you are entitled to "one free yuck." Is that in Strunk and White? Zoë wonders, what if the sex is so great with Bobby that she can't return to Davis? Juliet counters that Davis had no-strings sex all the time, so why can't she? Because she's a woman, says Zoë. Now, I appreciate the attempts of this program to reflect a sort of post-feminism in its characters (Zoë is not a perfect mom, Mia might use feminine wiles to get what she wants in the workplace), but COME ON. Have we really gone back that far? Maybe if Juliet just made Davis a good enough dinner and it was hot and ready when he got home, all of this stuff would go away. Juliet says she's willing to take her chances. It looks like she senses a little judginess from Zoë, so she says that she hopes that Zoë is never in this situation, but she herself is -- with Bobby "in the wings, ready, willing, and able." I don't really understand why she just said that.
Caitlin arrives in a flourish. "Oh my God!" she says as she sits. Zoë asks if that's a good or bad "Oh my God." "Oh my God. Crap," answers Caitlin. Heh. She has some print-outs of a blog called Regrets Only. It's like Gawker, "except it's about gawking at women in business." So, two mentions in three episodes. That's a lot of Gawker. Zoë reads from the print-out, "Which top Lily Parish Cosemetics exec has been seen canoodling all over town with her hot chocolate agency rep. These ladies are sharing more than make-up tips." Caitlin doesn't look happy about this. Plus, it looks like she has a zit on her forehead. Mia gets a kick out of the word "canoodling" even though it's used practically daily in every single New York gossip column. I know I'm being picky, but I'm trying to suss out what it is that annoys me about this show. If Alicia's hot chocolate, what does that make her, Caitlin asks. "A marshmallow?" Mia suggests. She's full of one-liners, that one. Caitlin is upset because she has been outed after merely dipping her toe in the "gay pond." Interesting metaphor.
But wait, there's more. Zoë reads, "Which newly anointed magazine publisher left stiletto heel marks all over her fiancé on her way to the top job, trashing her engagement?" Why are these blind items so opaque? Mia is sure it's her they're talking about. Whatever, self-centered. She says that maybe she'll just direct her parents to the blog. Caitlin's seems stunned that Mia hasn't told her parents about her breakup with Jack. Mia says she's not ready to have that conversation with her mother, because she'll just turn it around and make it sound like it was Mia's fault (though that wouldn't necessarily take much turning). It's also evident that Mia is holding onto a little hope that she and Jack might get back together. It makes her seem a little sad.
Caitlin says that the blog is the work of Cilla Gray -- she's already "out there taking credit for it." I guess everyone wants to have the attention of others at some level, but it seems odd that a woman as rich as Cilla would spend much time writing a blog. Juliet is really annoyed that Cilla would drag her friends into what she sees as a vendetta against her. Mia asks her what she has in mind and Juliet replies, "She needs to be whacked." Zoë and Mia giggle with Juliet, but Caitlin says, "I've got a cousin in New Jersey who could take care of this. I mean, if you're serious." It seems like Bonnie Somerville has inspired the writers to make her character a little rough-and-tumble. I like the depth her character adds to the show. It's unfortunately easy to add texture to this show at times, because everything has been sketched in such a two-dimensional way. In any event, Caitlin makes more and more sense as a character all the time and I like that. Juliet says that she won't need the services of Caitlin's cousin: "Don't worry, I'll handle it."
We see Zoë rolling her suitcase through her office. She stops at Katherine's desk and asks if the "RPS buy-out model" she asked for is finished. "Of course," replies Katherine, and hands her a report. Well, it's really not an "of course" situation, since she wanted the model two days ago. Katherine says that she expanded the model, so she thinks it will be worth Zoë's wait. Zoë points out that Katherine is wearing a different shoe on each foot. Katherine says she can't decide which pair goes better with the suit she's wearing, which is low-cut and short. Zoë suggests that she go with the pair with the shorter heel, which is good advice. They're both three-inch heels, so she's going with the black pair. Zoë's contempt for Katherine is so obvious. You'd think that maybe Zoë would just speak to HR or somebody and either have Katherine fired or reassigned to another director. It would be one thing if she didn't want to admit that she didn't like her, but she clearly has no problem with that. And does Zoë have to hate on some other "type" of woman in every episode? Juliet already mentioned that Zoë is a little judgy. Wonder if that's going to bite her in the ass.
Zoë sees her co-worker Clayton, who is also pulling a suitcase, and approaches him. She mentions that they are going to Boston to convince a "couple of kids" to sell their "Facebook clone" for $300 million. The fact that people like those "kids" actually exist makes me want to sue my high school guidance counselor. For around $300 million. Zoë asks him if his wife and sons are doing well. They are. The boys are at boarding school. And his wife is "keeping the retail sector healthy." Those women, always shopping! Zoë says her kids are getting older too fast and Clayton responds, "Aren't we all?" Then, he asks where "she" is. Zoë has no idea who he's talking about. It's Katherine. She's coming with them and Zoë had no idea? Since when do junior analysts come along to a pitch, she asks. He says that he's sensing, in the air, that entrepreneurs want a "body" in an acquisition meeting who could also be a consumer of their product. I don't know if Clayton's seen some of the old farts on Facebook these days, but the audience is a little broader than just hot girls in their early twenties. Clayton tells Zoë that she shouldn't kick away the ladder once she's made it to the top, which is true, but Clayton seems a little bit like an asshole.
Caitlin is in her office looking at a clock, counting out loud. When she gets to 27, she says to an office peon who is trying to open a container, "27 seconds and you still can't open it? Dammit, who do they think is buying thigh-firming cream? Ninjas?" Funniest joke on this show so far. Lily Parish enters, reading the blurb from Regrets Only. She's played by the awesome Christine Ebersole. Caitlin is stunned that she reads the blog, and Lily tells her that she gets instant alerts any time her name is mentioned online. Damn. She wonders if the office lesbian might be Sarah in R and D, because she has very thick eyebrows. Ha! Caitlin does not seem to enjoy the humor of the moment. Lily says that the gossip bit made her wonder if they are properly targeting the gay lady audience. She thinks they should use Portia de Rossi for their campaign.
Then Lily points out that Caitlin has a zit on her forehead. She thinks that Caitlin should cancel all of her meetings for the day. Caitlin tries to explain that she has a bunch of stuff lined up, and Lily asks her if she knows what you call a cosmetics executive with bad skin. I love that one! Caitlin doesn't know it -- and Lily tells her not to make her tell her. Aw. I was hoping she'd say. It's really funny. Oh, well. She leaves a dejected Caitlin while still muttering to herself about who the gay in the office is.
Mia is making a sales call in her office, which is what I believe publishers actually do. While she's talking, her assistant hands her a mock-up of the cover of Modern Man. It's a man in a suit on a plate with a giant woman, also in a business suit, holding a knife and fork. The headline reads, "The New Dog-Eat-Dog World! Women Chow Down On Men!" The look of the cover is so Esquire 1967. There is NOTHING modern about the man reading that mag. Mia looks shocked and quickly gets off the phone. She summons Todd to her office.
Juliet's assistant talks to her while Juliet stares at her Blackberry and gives the girl one-word answers. The poor ignored assistant finally tells Juliet that Davis is in her office. Davis dropped in to ask if Juliet wants to get dinner "before Emily's school thing." I really love the way they're fleshing out Emily. I see her character burning in my eyelids when I close my eyes. Juliet is working right up until the school thing. Davis suggests they get something quickly afterwards. She stops him and reminds him of what she said that morning. He has to stop creating "historical reenactments" of when they were "good." Ew. Davis takes this as his cue to leave, but first Juliet needs Cilla Gray's number from him. He asks why, but she says that they're going to leave him out of this "for once." Davis does not look particularly pleased.
Juliet calls Cilla, who is surprised to hear from her. Per Juliet's request, they agree to meet in a couple of days at a "neutral" location, the entrance to the park across from The Pierre. Juliet asks Cilla how she takes her coffee, because she's going to bring some. Cilla says, "Light, no arsenic." Adultery leaves the FUNNIEST aftertaste.
In Mia's office, Todd explains that the cover of Modern Man is reflecting the zeitgeist, because there are so many women in positions of power. Our president might be a woman, "God help us." Todd apparently thinks he's working at National Review instead of a Condé Nast clone. Does he really think it's appropriate to say "God help us" in response to the thought of a woman president? Maybe he's talking more specifically about the current woman candidate, but still. Todd's a loser.
Modern Man and approved the cover before he was eaten by Mia. Again, creatively directing and approving covers would not be the job of a senior sales person at a magazine group. They create revenue while the edit side creates content. Right? I'm not fucking dreaming this up, am I? And can I mention right now that Todd's eyes are black cauldrons of evil offsetting the pasty future baldness of his everything else? Thank you. It upsets me that he's representing men in this debate. Mia asks Todd when Jack developed this cover, and he says it was right before he left. He assumed that Jack would have told Mia. He didn't, because they haven't spoken. Todd reminds her that she said they were friends. "Well, we're not. And I would appreciate it if you just wouldn't mention his name again." I like the honesty of that reaction. Because who the FUCK cares about Todd's opinion of you. Mia gets a call from Clive and sends Todd away.
Juliet is walking on the street when Bobby, who was apparently lying in wait in a Town Car on the curb, calls after her. He says that he hasn't stopped thinking about her since they talked on the phone, so he decided to come to New York early. He's staying in the hotel where she works, because he figures that it's the one hotel in town where she could come and go without raising suspicion. Crafty! He tells her that he wants to see her tonight, but she's got Emily's school thing (this time referred to as "parent-teacher" -- and Emily glows ever brighter). But tomorrow is the night she'll have a rendezvous with him. She walks away, half nervous/half flirty.
In Boston, Clayton and Zoë are at dinner with two young scruffy guys in t-shirts. They apparently want more for their company than Zoë's company is offering. Katherine breathlessly arrives at the table with an over-long excuse for being late about her hair dryer in her hotel being unusable and maintenance, et cetera. The boys are clearly taken with her looks, though Frances O'Connor is certainly no slouch. After sitting, Katherine immediately asks if, were their firm to cut their fee, the guys would accept their offer. Zoë seems immediately uncomfortable at the suggestion. Katherine says they did it on another occasion, but Zoë says those circumstances were different. Clayton, obviously backed into a corner, puts that option on the table and the guys go crazy. They give a round of high fives and go to call the other "guys" after thanking the "dudes" who are still sitting. Seriously, people actually live like this and it upsets me that I don't get to. Zoë glares at Katherine and says that you should never give away the company's profits. Clayton stares forward and says he'll take care of it.
That night, in her hotel room, Zoë is telling Eric the whole story via video chat. She's livid. Eric points out that they did close the deal like they had gone to Boston to do, and the company is not losing their entire profit from the deal. Zoë asks him why he's taking Katherine's side and he says he's just trying to find out why she's so upset by Katherine. She says she's just annoyed that Katherine's so good at the whole "man trap" thing. I know, it's a shame that Zoë has had to become successful in spite of her homeliness. It's tragic, really. She calls Katherine "Business Barbie"; then room service knocks on the door. Eric says, "Signing off, my little man trap," and he's gone. When the room service attendant enters her room to deliver her dinner, she sees Katherine and Clayton drunkenly entering a hotel room together. They're clearly up to something. Zoë is stunned, because she has never worked at an office with men and women. Because if she had, she'd have seen the very same situation within moments of her first day. Because it happens. But this is Zoë.
The morning, Zoë meets Katherine, who is wearing two great swaths of gray paint over each eye, for breakfast. Katherine apologizes for offering the discount the evening, but she felt like it was the right thing to do. Zoë tells her that she shouldn't be intimate with married male colleagues. Katherine's all, "Of course." Zoë pushes further and says that, "for future reference," affairs with colleagues end, and then you become an inconvenience. There's no place for an inconvenient woman in business. None of the higher-ups will respect you and all of the other analysts will hate you, and it will follow you around for the rest of your career. Katherine looks pretty stunned. Then Clayton arrives and they stop talking about it. Zoë looks pleased. You know, that was a real bitch move. I don't think Zoë's in any danger of losing her job to Katherine or because of anything Katherine does, and her whole little speech there had nothing to do with giving Katherine any advice. She just wanted to tell her that she thought she was a slut. She should try minding her own freaking business.
Caitlin and Mia are walking through Central Park and Caitlin's freaking out about the zit on her forehead. She says that the last time her skin looked like this, it was before the 2003 Board of Directors meeting at Lily. Mia asks if she's supposed to tell a zit story now, and Caitlin says that she's just making a point that, when she's stressed, she breaks out. You must have to know yourself really well to make that connection. Heavy. Having zits in her line of work means you should stay at home with a bag over your head and a whole lasagna. Funny! She's also upset that she was mentioned in Regrets Only. "Whatever happened to a woman's right to kiss another woman in public without it being posted all over the internet?" She feels like she can't be free to explore her feelings with Alicia without making some huge commitment. And she hasn't even talked to Alicia in several days. Mia tries to calm her down and tells her to call Alicia. My advice would be to not call Alicia, since she's bland and all.
The Mafia ladies are having lunch together, which is nice and all -- but so totally unlikely. How many meals a week do they share? Zoë tells the story of Katherine, though we don't really need to hear it again, do we? She says that Clayton is her problem, not Katherine, though that's news to anyone who has been watching the show. She is obsessed with Katherine. Mia is carrying the mock-up cover of the magazine with her, and wonders how Jack could have felt that way about her. Zoë says that he loved her, just not enough. Okay. Juliet tells her it's her move. I'm not sure what that means.
Later, on the street, Juliet tells Zoë about Bobby being in town. She says she's having second thoughts about going through with her affair. Zoe gives her several reasons to back out, including the chance of catching an STD (also a risk if having sex with your cheatin' husband) or the "fatal attraction syndrome." I'm not sure who Juliet's supposed to be in that equation, but since all of these women are perfect and everyone else sucks -- I'm assuming she's saying Bobby might be Glenn Close. Juliet thinks that Davis's fling with Cilla was bigger than Davis said it was, because of the vitriol in Cilla's blog. It reflects the wrath of a mistress scorned, which I must admit is a form of wrath I've never heard much about. She's going to have a sit-down with Cilla and put an end to the blog.
In Zoë's office, Clayton says that he "talked" with Katherine about the mistake she made during the deal. Zoë confronts him about their affair. He tries the logic that maybe giving away the profit like Katherine did was the only way to close, but Zoë says that if a guy had done that, he'd be toast. She tells him to break it off with her.
Caitlin is in her office; she breathes deeply before calling Alicia. Alicia answers knowing it's Caitlin, and it makes her happy to know her number is in Alicia's phone. That's sweet. Caitlin apologizes for not calling sooner. Alicia saw the blog, and Caitlin says it's been hard for her -- meaning the stuff with Alicia too. Alicia menacingly says that they should meet that night for a drink. Caitlin says they should meet someplace dark, but mostly because of her big zit.
Davis is helping Emily with her To Kill A Mockingbird homework when Juliet gets home. Emily gleefully shows her mother the newest post on Regrets Only, which reads, "Which redhead queen of mean hotel exec leaves husband and daughter to fend for themselves while she's off building vacation paradise for the idle rich?" Emily asks Juliet if that could sound any more like her. "I don't think so," says Juliet, and the two of them laugh. Davis tells Juliet that he got all of them theatre tickets. He says that, from the parent/teacher thing for Emily, he gleaned that they should be taking her away from screens and starting a dialogue. Is she autistic? Violent? Emily is fascinating! He asks Juliet to join them, so they can be a family. He's not trying to reenact anything -- he just wants to give Emily a break from his punishments. Juliet says she just has to make a call. He leaves the room, and she calls Bobby and tells him that she can't make it. She's not going to meet with him at all, she says. She has to deal with her "reality."
In a bar, Mia is talking to Todd about the magazine cover. He says Jack's name twice, which is weird since she asked him not to say it. Rude. She wants him to kill the cover. He says it's a great cover, though. She doesn't think it's the right message. Shouldn't men be happy for women who get jobs over them? Shouldn't they be like, "Congratulations"? And call? Seriously, she has a rant like this. He asks her if they're still talking about the magazine. She says yes, but her rant says no.
Caitlin and Alicia are walking together, and Caitlin apologizes for being out of touch -- she says she didn't know the "protocol." Alicia says it's the same protocol for any other relationship she's ever had. Seriously, you're dating a woman, not an Aboriginal transplant. It's not going to be THAT different. Caitlin says her old protocol is lowered expectations -- good point. Alicia says honesty is the proper protocol. Caitlin explains that she's not worried about being gay, she's stressed because she needs to be in control of her life. She needs Alicia to be okay with her being a stress ball. Caitlin jokingly asks if her zit will make kissing her a problem for Alicia. Not if she's too close to see it, reasons Alicia. Then they kiss.
Zoë and Eric are in bed with their laptops. Someone doesn't have his shirt on again. Just observing. Katherine is calling her, but Zoë won't answer. She's called twice in ten minutes. Isn't she interested to know what happened with her and Clayton, Eric asks. Zoë says that Katherine avoids her calls when she doesn't need her. Eric points out that Zoë probably intimidates her, but she says Katherine is beautiful, young, and actually quite talented. Eric, kind of missing the point, I think (?), says that it's grade-school logic to act tough to the bully, Zoë being the bully. The phone rings again, and Eric insists that she answer it. Katherine says that she and Clayton were in fact involved, but now he's broken it off with her and put her back in the research pool. She says she doesn't want to file a LAWSUIT, but she won't be taken advantage of. Zoë's eyes roll at the mention of a lawsuit, and she tells Katherine to relax. They'll handle it tomorrow. When Zoë tells Eric, his reply is, "Barbie's all business."
Juliet thanks Davis for the night as she gets into bed and sips a cup of tea that was waiting there for her. Davis starts to stroke her arm, and she says that she needs something to help her get to sleep. Davis directs her to his dop kit, where she finds, in addition to sleeping pills, a matchbox from Cap Juluca, the place in Anguilla that Davis suggested they go. She's pissed. She asks him what made him think of Cap Juluca, since they hadn't been there for years. Apparently, those matches can't last for years. He must have taken Cilla there. Davis says, "No reason," and tries to get close to Juliet. She lights a candle with the match from the evidentiary box, and makes sure that he sees it. Then she tells him to put out the candle before he goes to sleep. It's right beside her, so it's pretty awesome that she's telling him to put it out.
The day, Todd enters Mia's office as she's typing and says that it looks like she's "fake working" since nobody types that fast. Everyone but the Mafia! They also shape-shift. Word. Todd says that women deserve better and he will pull the cover, but Mia says they are definitely running the cover. She adds that there can be no Modern Man without a modern woman. And she's got a letter from the publisher that's going to run. She says the only way for her and Jack to communicate is through one and a half million readers. Todd sort of glowers and leaves.
Zoë asks Clayton what he was thinking, demoting Katherine? He says that having her on the team would be awkward. Zoë says that Katherine is thinking of suing, and he asks her what he should do. Jesus, this guy is a moron. She says that he has to find her an equal or better job some place else.
Later, Lily notices that Caitlin's zit is gone. Caitlin says she used honesty for her skin, and Lily thinks she's talking about some obscure brand of concealer. She says they should acquire this Honesty.
Juliet and Cilla meet in the Park. Juliet offers her coffee and says she will take the first sip if it makes Cilla more comfortable. Cilla jumps right in and says that Davis never used Juliet or their marriage as an excuse for their affair. Juliet brings up the blog and says she doesn't want Cilla messing with her friends, or her daughter. She calls a truce. She says that her friend on the board of The Arborgast (Caitlin) will favorably reconsider her bid on the penthouse there. In exchange, Cilla must "cease and desist with ugliness." Cilla likes the terms. Then Juliet asks her if Davis ever took her to Cap Juluca. Easy enough question, right? Well, Cilla tells Juliet to get off her high horse. She says she did Juliet a favor because every good marriage deserves a little fling. Really? This I have not heard. Juliet says she couldn't agree with her more, and jets.
Juliet goes to Bobby's hotel room and starts making out with him. They get as far as the bed and Juliet's bra when Juliet starts laughing hysterically. Poor Bobby; he has really been put through it, hasn't he? She says she thought she could be like Davis and forget about her vows and their history, but she can't. Bobby wonders if a drink might help. No, she's crystal clear now. Okay, I know this is an ugly word, but I think we can all agree: cocktease.
Zoë sees Katherine packing up her desk. With no small amount of satisfaction, she tells Katherine that she's a bright girl and will land on her feet. Katherine finishes packing and says she agrees -- since she just got promoted to associate. Damn. Zoë's jaw is on the ground. Clayton can't even look her in the eye.
Later, at Juliet's hotel over drinks, Juliet tells the girls that she didn't go through with the affair with Bobby. How many times do we have to watch them retell something we just saw? Stop it. Caitlin points out that she lusted after Bobby and went to second base with him, which can get you hell time if you're Catholic. So, she's proud of Juliet. Juliet says that not having the affair with Bobby has made this whole ordeal less stressful. That's understandable. You would have to let go of your anger a little in order to let go of your plans for revenge. Zoë points out that Juliet got the revenge without the "yuck." Mia toasts to "No Yuck." Mia says that she didn't kill the cover of Modern Man because ad sales went through the roof for the issue (hmm, and it was Jack's work. Maybe Clive made the wrong choice?). She shows the girls her letter.
We see Mia alternately packing Jack's things and crying, as the letter is being read. It's so antiquated. It's all about not being threatened by working women. After the letter is read, she calls her mom and tells her that she has "disappointing news."
Zoë takes her top off in front of Eric, like it's real serious. It's her man trap look. They start making out.
Juliet undresses in front of Davis and asks him to get her a glass of wine. He stares at her, and she asks him if he likes what he sees. He does. She's really pretty and her underwear is awesome. She kisses him, and as he's going to get her wine, she tells him that they're even and walks into the bathroom. He stands there looking very worried. He's going to just start randomly fighting with his friends now, because it could be any one of them. Can you imagine?