Episode Report Card Jeff Long: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Conference Call
By Jeff Long | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.08.2008
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Mia arrives at her first day of work greeted by lots and lots of gift baskets and flowers from the likes of Howard Stern. Clive tells her that she has to fire Grant, the head of marketing and the man who originally gave her a chance in the publishing biz. He's coasting, though, and when he makes ridiculous promises to a client Mia desperately needs to bag, she follows through and fires him. Unfortunately, the firing happens publicly, and Mia gets a lot of bad press for it. We'll see where that goes.
Zoë has a foe, and it's one of the moms from her kids' school. She's a stay-at-home mom, and they are all evil according to the mafia, but one in particular is really getting to her. Her name is Victoria, and she's played by George Clooney's ex-girlfriend, Krista Allen. She's kind of rad. She tries to outmother Zoë with Zoë's own children, and she hits on Eric. Zoë tells Victoria that she can hit on Zoë's husband, but she better not hit on her kids anymore.
Juliet and Davis have a really unsuccessful counseling session with the least perceptive marriage counselor ever, and Juliet gets a makeover at a fashion shoot where Caitlin is working. It's one of the most ridiculous things ever, and I'm praying that it's a sign of the direction this show will be going in. She comes out of a trailer looking like a French whore, and I will sleep better tonight because of it. She goes on a date with a classmate from b-school and makes out with him, though she's still undecided if she wants to do more.
Caitlin finally tells the girls that she's considering a change of diet to Meow Mix. They're not very shocked. I understand being open-minded, but she's one of your best friends. Wouldn't you at least be like, "Wow, this is a big change"? Anyway, she is making out with Alicia on a dance floor, and an ex-boyfriend of hers sees her, and she tries to act like she's not really on a date. Alicia walks out on her, and later, Caitlin tracks her down and apologizes. And, they make out some more. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously, Mia got engaged then dumped, but she was promoted to Publisher of Barnstead Magazine Group. Zoë ran through an entire nanny in one day. Caitlin started dating a lady. Juliet found out that Davis was cheating on her with Cilla Gray, a townie. She told Davis that, as retribution, she will be taking a lover. And I referred to the song "Melt With You" as originally performed by Modern Love which is wrong and not an actual music group as far as I know. It's Modern English and sometimes my fingers don't work right.
It's morning, and Mika's playing (I know I'm right about this one-- "Love Today") while the ladies all change their purses and get ready for the day and stuff. Zoë takes kid stuff out of her purse and smiles. Juliet stoically walks to her well-organized closet and chooses a bag, but does not yet take a lover. Caitlin dumps the contents of her bag on her bed and searches for toothpaste. Her toothbrush is already in her mouth. Strange. Who does that? This is all to lead up to Mia unwrapping a brand-new Gucci bag. It seems like a spiritual moment for her. She's wearing the most amazing outfit of leather pants and a blouse with white puffy sleeves and a black bodice with a cowl neck. It's crazy and I love it. And, her hair is super-sleek and tucked into a soft bun. Her assistant leads her into her new office. The assistant seems very happy for her.
There are all sorts of gifts and flowers laid out for Mia, presumably to congratulate her on her new job. She names "the Mayor, Graydon Carter, Howard Stern" as several of the givers. You'd never expect muffins from Stern, she informs her assistant, unless a stripper delivers them. Is there a service like that? I'm looking for a second job. You know, just some mad money. As Mia's looking at a shrub with sunglasses all over it and a card reading, "Your future's so bright, you have to wear shades" a nattily dressed man sneaks into the office. He announces that the gift is from him. "Grant!" They hug. She apparently started in the company as Grant's assistant. She tells him that he is working "with" her, not "for" her. She needs to get Ian Weber, a photographer, to agree to an exclusive contract with their magazine, Havoc. He is having a gallery opening the next night and she wants them to "do the double-team sweet talk." He stops her and tells her everything will be fine. Clive enters and says that he heard that Mia and Jack were no longer engaged -- Jack's a sore loser. Perhaps. Clive says that Mia has her priorities straight, and that he's glad he won't have to drink stale champagne at her office baby shower. Is that okay to say? I want to speak to HR at ol' Barnstead. He adds that he still has to worry about the baby shower scenario with Grant, and that he's had it up to here with the gays and their maternity leave. Definitely talk to HR. He tells Mia to see him when she has a minute, and leaves. Grant says that it's never good to get called to the office in this really passive-aggressive way. Grant's no good. He's an example from one of those "How To Deal With People At Work" articles that are all over your Hotmail account. He takes a pair of the sunglasses he gave Mia, puts them on, gives a gay flourish (in case we forgot; hey, we're already watching this show -- we are clearly familiar with gay) and leaves.
Zoë and Eric are walking their kids to school. Sasha is complaining that she doesn't have a Marc Jacobs bag. Wait a second -- she doesn't?! That's effing child abuse. The boy child (who has not been named yet) shows his parents the tree his class planted. He says that another class only planted an herb garden, and Zoë says that a tree is so much better. Eric tells her that she's not supposed to rank on the other classes, but she insists that a tree is better than an herb garden. I guess that's supposed to show us that Zoë is an uncommon mother, but I think it just shows that Eric is kind of a pill. Zoë says she would love to spend every morning looking at a new tree, which is an odd request, and Boy Child says that she could if she walked him to school every day. "I would love to, but Mommy has to work to make the money that hot-but-not-as-good-a-wage-earner daddy doesn't." She didn't really say that.