It's a new year, and the year is 1986. That's only technically, though, because this show has very nearly forgotten it takes place in the 1980s, except that Carrie is on a pay phone instead of a cell phone. She's struggling to get a hold of Sebastian because this is before the times of internet and the Snapchat.
Mouse is sad, having just broken up with West. She also feels weird now that she has gotten into Harvard and has no goals left to achieve. Donna LeDonna is feeling the same way, having realized she has dated everyone eligible at Castlebury High. The two purposeless gals spot Dorrit flirting with some alternative looking guy and smiling a lot, so Donna investigates further. She gives Dorrit the advice to catch this bad boy with "a casual laidback situation" like a party to get some extracurricular time in.
Back in the city, Larissa is newly and obnoxiously engaged to Harlan. Larissa loves her giant ring more than she loves Harlan, and is bored with Carrie's tales of the "challenges" of a long-distance long-term relationship. She advises Carrie not to let one person move for the other, as it builds pressure and resentment.
Tom brings Carrie and Dorrit into the kitchen to tell them he's been assigned to a high-profile, confidential, big-deal case this weekend, which means he'll be gone all weekend and the girls have the house to themselves. Tom tells them it's a test, and doesn't explicitly say "no parties" because it's not like this is an '80s movie. It's a TV show. Carrie invites Sebastian over for the weekend to have the whole house to themselves while Dorrit plans a big party.
Sebastian, it turns out, can't be available for this episode on such short notice. Carrie was hoping for some big romantic gesture but sometimes this show tries to imitate real life. But not this time, of course! Sebastian flew in at the last moment to spend the weekend with Carrie. Dorrit invites the boy of her dreams and his random friend to the "rager" at her house.
Tom's big-deal merger turns out to just be negotiations between Harlan and Larissa. They want a pre-nup from Tom, even though he doesn't do that kind of law and he's a friend. Harlan makes a deal to pay Tom double his hourly rate.
Carrie and Sebastian make out on her bed and she lovingly asks him how long he can stay. Sebastian tells her he's there for good, that he's moving back and even though he was only in Laguna for a month or something, Carrie is like "uh oh." Larissa really got her in her head. There's no time for further making out, though, because the party is starting downstairs and that is not a sexual metaphor.
Carrie sees the party from the top of her stairs, in her lacey lingerie thing, so she pops on a sweater dress and maneuvers toward Dorrit between people who are acting way too drunk and making out too much to have just gotten there. Dorrit urges Carrie to have Sebastian come down because he loves a party and Carrie thinks he loves alone time with his girlfriend more. One thing he definitely does not love is hanging out alone in Carrie's room while she tries to manage a party downstairs.
Someone brings some kegs in to damage the hardwoods and Sebastian comes downstairs to join the party. He tells Mouse that he's moving back and she says it's great but Carrie is acting weird about it. It wouldn't really be any different than before, except that Sebastian got expelled. He at least offers the sage advice that parties like these can't be stopped. He suggests they go to a hotel but Carrie needs to be responsible.
Tom is getting through Harlan and Larissa's weird pre-nup, which has some very specific and strange clauses. They reach a hiccup when Larissa says she doesn't want to live with Harlan. It's a good idea.
At Dorrit's party, her crush Nick hasn't arrived but his friend who got a little extra featured camera time is. His name is Scott and Dorrit doesn't care. She finds out that Scott and Nick used to play soccer together but not anymore, now Scott runs cross-country and smokes a lot of weed. Nick rolls in with pot brownies and feeds Dorrit a piece. Carrie takes out the garbage and Dorrit announces that the neighbor Ms. Mead has dropped by.
The party is finally getting out of control and totally '80s, or maybe I just saw a headband and got excited. Ms. Mead has every intention of tattling on the Bradshaw girls. Meanwhile, Mouse discovers a hidden talent for beer pong and Donna enjoys being alone. Ms. Mead tries to call Tom but there's no reception in Harlan's building. Harlan and Larissa are fighting still.
Scott checks in on Dorrit and introduces himself to Ms. Mead as "one of the few people the girls actually invited over," but things got out of hand by no fault of the Bradshaws. They all agree that peer pressure is bad and kids can be so cruel. Ms. Mead confesses that high school was a trying time for her and starts to empathize. She helps herself to a pot brownie and it takes very, very quickly.
Dorrit and Scott celebrate and Donna intervenes to redirect her attention back toward Nick. For some reason, Sebastian's mom shows up at the party to have a conversation with him. Unfazed by the atmosphere, Sebastian's mom says he can't come live with her and exposes that Sebastian has no plan. His mom wishes Carrie good luck and says "he's all yours," causing Carrie to realize Sebastian is a pressure cooker. But before Sebastian can explode, a keg does.
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Outside on the swingset, Sebastian tells Carrie that his dad's "latest bimbo" hit on him and his dad wouldn't believe him. But you know how women be crazy. It comes out not only that Sebastian doesn't really respect women but that he got kicked out. Sebastian says the only place he wants to be is with Carrie and it's too much pressure to build resentment but Carrie seems fine now knowing that she's not the only reason Sebastian is back. She tells Sebastian that being the only person he leans on can be a lot for her. Sebastian offers to go do something to relieve the pressure.
Briefly, Larissa explains why she won't move in with Harlan (because she doesn't want to dissolve into a relationship). They reach a compromise that Harlan will buy Larissa an apartment in his building.
Back at the party, Nick pulls Dorrit in for a kiss and Scott walks over with two beers, rejected. Sebastian shouts that the cops are coming, getting everyone to run out. The party evacuates in moments, and Carrie and Dorrit each take their men upstairs to have sex. I wonder what's to become of Mrs. Mead and the beer mess on the ceiling.
The morning, Nick looks at Dorrit in shock and tells her that he has to get out because if his girlfriend finds out she'll kill him. Dorrit calls him a jerk, and for a moment Nick looks like he belongs in a John Hughes movie so I'm sad we won't see more of him. Donna and Mouse wake up spooning each other on the couch and Sebastian is outside cleaning up from the party. His dad has agreed to give him an allowance for a place in Manhattan.
The cleanup hurries along when Dorrit announces Tom's impending return. In a really great '80s party move, there is a piece of pizza spinning on the record player. That alone deserves an A+. Carrie, Sebastian, Dorrit, and Mouse clean up the party in high speed, except for Sebastian taking a goat out of the house. Really, a goat? Sebastian leaves to return the kegs and Tom gets home.
Tom admits he was worried to come home and find the house destroyed. He opens up the coat closet and Ms. Mead falls out, stoned out of her gourd. Evidently she was so embarrassed that she lied and said she sleepwalked over. Carrie and Sebastian tell Larissa this as they look at her apartment for Sebastian to take. How can anyone afford that? It's ludicrous. It'll never work, Carrie, he's living in the bubble.
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