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Prom is coming up, of course, and none of the girls have dates. Carrie and Sebastian broke up because they didn't talk after they had a fight. Mouse has racist Chinese parents who don't want her dating her black boyfriend. Maggie sucks.
Dorrit has a date, though, if she were to go to the prom. She is dating an 18-year old named Miller and has decided she's ready to have sex with him. He sets up some rose petals, she cries, and they do have sex. Dorrit does the '80s better than the rest of these characters.
Sebastian and Carrie apologize, and get back together briefly. She gets to tell him she loves him. Then, Maggie tells Carrie that she and Sebastian saw her dad making out with some woman in a car, and Carrie misplaces her anger toward Sebastian for not telling her. They fight, and Carrie says they are perhaps too different and she doesn't want to live a life of pain. They break up again. Sebastian is upset with Maggie, and tells her that Walt is probably gay.
Maggie confronts Walt about his homosexuality in the diner. She handles it very poorly, embarrassing him and making it all about her.
Carrie and Walt decide to go to Larissa's going away party in the city on the night of junior prom. Walt can be as gay as he wants to be in the city, and gets to hang out with Bennett, his crush. Larissa gives Carrie some real talk about how being a wife with a white picket fence is not the life for Carrie Bradshaw. This somehow inspires Carrie to love Sebastian with all her might. She leaves the city to tell him she's ready to try again.
Maggie and Sebastian, lonely with their fake IDs, meet in a bar and drown their sorrows. Then, they make out. Carrie arrives later at Sebastian's house and we are denied the dramatic moment of Maggie showing up in just a football jersey and no pants. Maggie is not there, Sebastian lets Carrie tell him all her feelings. He holds her for the rest of the night.
Mouse decides to introduce West to her parents, after a disaster prom date with 14-year old Eugene, a Chinese boy of her parents' choosing. Tom keeps calling the woman he's dating, Deb, "the gym," but eventually accepts that he's ready to date again and his daughters tell him they're OK with it.
The morning, Maggie visits Carrie and tells her what happened. Carrie tells Maggie how shitty she is as a friend (and as a character), and dumps Maggie. She also refuses to see Sebastian. Instead, in a very satisfying conclusion, Carrie and Walt live together in Larissa's loft for the summer, writing and eating brunch and being fabulous. No idiot boyfriends, fake girlfriends, or picket fences, just city living and an ambiguous future for the show.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!We've made it to the finale and Carrie Bradshaw is still a virgin. Now Carrie is a miserable virgin, because she and Sebastian broke up. The plus side is that we get to hear "Missing You" by John Waite. Mouse and Maggie tell Carrie she wasn't even that happy with Sebastian, which is actually true. Sebastian made her life a lot worse, but Mouse and Maggie believe they are lying to make Carrie feel better.
Carrie laments that breaking up before prom might actually be worse than getting dumped on Valentine's Day. Oh my god, PROM. Prom was a big deal in the '80s. Then, we learn that Mouse hasn't told her parents about West because he's black. Her parents are xenophobic, and hate anyone who isn't Chinese. They don't even care that West is as smart as a Chinese person. Mouse's parents want her to date some unfortunate Chinese guy named Eugene. Parents, never name your child Eugene. Everyone will assume he is ugly and lame.
Just when the trio decides to go to prom together and be totally revolutionary, Maggie's sex-cop hookup walks into the diner with a girl. It's not just any girl, it's his fiancé. They leave, and Maggie says they should also invite Walt.
Tom heads to "the gym" (making out with Deb), and Carrie notices that he's wearing cologne. Tom says that it feels good to have a release like working out. Cut to Tom and Deb getting it on. Tom says sex is so much better than going to the gym, and Deb notes that they just did it three times. Tom is like, "I hope I last long enough," and Deb broaches the subject of telling the kids they're dating. Tom is like, "nope!" and that's the end of the conversation for now.
At Interview Magazine, it turns out Larissa is going to Kyoto for the summer to study being a Geisha. So no internship? No, of course there's a job for Carrie. She's going to be the full-time receptionist for no pay. Larissa offers her loft to stay in for the summer along with Walt. Carrie isn't ready to leave because of Sebastian. Whatever.
Carrie goes home to find Dorrit and Miller on the couch, and Sebastian lurking in the corner. Dorrit and her boyfriend character go upstairs, and Sebastian and Carrie talk. Carrie learns that Sebastian and Miller went to the same private school (that he got kicked out of for pot smoking) and Miller is a year older. He's 18, Dorrit is 14. Carrie can't believe her sister is happy, in love, doing sex, and she is none of those things. Sebastian apologizes, and Carrie apologizes back. They confess their love for one another, and I guess prom is back on. Yusssssssssssss.
Meanwhile in Dorrit's room, Dorrit wants to have intercourse with Miller, who is holding back. Dorrit wants to get her first time over with. She wants to know what it will be like and how she'll feel after. Miller promises to like her afterward, and promises that it will be special. Maybe he'll inappropriately take her to prom.
At school, Maggie says what we all know to be true: Carrie and Sebastian might finally do it after prom. Walt dangles the carrot of having a prom date in front of Maggie's face, and Maggie accepts, saying it will just be as friends because she's way past that. She's not way past it, but nobody cares about that. They decide to double with Mouse and the dreaded Eugene. I'm calling it now: Eugene will be a stone cold hottie. Maggie mentions that Sebastian wants to protect Carrie from stuff and Carrie is unreasonably suspicious. In the end, she spills the beans on Tom and his car makeout.
Carrie fights with Sebastian about lying to her about her dad dating. Sebastian doesn't think it's a big deal. Carrie does. Carrie projects her anger with her dad onto Sebastian. She says maybe they're just too different, and gives up on the relationship again. She says she loves Sebastian so much her heart hurts and she doesn't want to live in pain.
Then, Sebastian yells at Maggie for telling Carrie the secret. He accuses her of being jealous. Maggie squeezes out some emotion and I fail yet again to care about this character. For some reason, Sebastian knows Walt is gay, and tells Maggie. Well, he tells her, "I don't think Walt likes girls."
Maggie storms into the diner and demands to know if Walt is gay. Everyone looks back at the scene, as Maggie calls Walt a homo and accuses Carrie and Mouse of knowing and laughing at her behind her back. Jesus, GTFO Maggie. She tells Walt that he made her feel like crap and makes her feel sick. She tells Walt something is wrong with him, not her, and storms back out. Walt and Carrie need to get into that loft in the city.
Walt and Carrie decide not to go to prom, and Carrie applies her makeup, wearing her dress, in front of the mirror. They're going to the city to say goodbye to Larissa, instead of junior prom. Oh, this is junior prom? Well f**k that then.
Tom walks in to tell Carrie he's going to the gym. Carrie knows that Deb is the gym now, or suspects that. She boldly asks Tom if she can spend the night in the city at Larissa's. Walt is going too, and Tom asks Carrie if she and Walt are more than friends. Tom and Maggie should just sail away on the S.S. Who Cares.
Dorrit is at another sleepover. Carrie tries to get information out of Tom, but he still thinks his daughters are idiots and women don't deserve to be seen in the daytime. Dorrit is not, however, at a sleepover. She is at Miller's, where he has sprinkled rose petals on the bed. He even wore his special Maggots shirt. Dorrit bursts into tears.
Mouse is getting ready for prom with Eugene, who is not a hottie. Eugene is ... a little girl? I don't know what's going on, or why they made Mouse go to prom with a 14-year old. Eugene discovered, through doing a family tree for fun, that the Ching Dynasty is made up. Their families come from a long line of peasants and farmers. The family tree is very detailed. I need a Eugene spin-off, and I need it now.
In the city, Walt has acknowledged to himself that he is gay. He has also told Bennett, a potential love interest. Bennett sees himself more as the gay Yoda to Walt's Luke Skywalker, though. They have some Real Talk for any little boys watching this show questioning their sexuality.
In Miller's room, Dorrit confesses that she didn't cry at her mother's funeral but is finally ready to feel everything, including a you know what! This is a big step to take with the boy who stopped her from unbuttoning his shirt. But whatever, good for Dorrit, and any other character not bound by the confines of Sex and the City.
Carrie and Larissa have a heart-to-heart about being happy, and having a good relationship. Larissa is full of sage wisdom. I also appreciate that Larissa tells Carrie she is not meant to have a husband, kids, and a garden. This is the "you go, girl" we've been waiting for. Sadly, it turns into a "you go get that man, girl."
Maggie and Sebastian get drunk in a bar with their fake IDs. They apologize for ruining each other's lives, and toast to being alone. But how alone are they? Not when they have each other and their hormones. They kiss, because they have no regard for anyone's feelings but their own.
Carrie, fresh off the train and full of resolve, knocks on Sebastian's door. She has plans to tell Sebastian how she feels again, and go through it all again. But you know Maggie is in there somewhere wearing one of Sebastian's shirts and nothing else. You don't need garbage people like that in your life, Carrie.
Carrie stops Sebastian from saying anything, and tells him that all she cares about is that they're together. Maggie doesn't walk out in a shirt just yet. First, we have to suffer through Tom talking to Deb about being a widower and a single parent. Who is this for? What parents are watching this and relating to it? Tom agrees to stay the night with Deb.
Carrie and Sebastian start making out, but Sebastian pulls away. He pulls away just to tell her he's so lucky. Carrie says she wants to have sex, and Sebastian says he wants it to be perfect so he just wants to hold her that night.
Mouse finds West at the diner to make her declaration of love and anti-racism. She puts a quarter in the jukebox and they dance together on the prom night where no one went to prom. Everyone lies in a bed together to "Heaven" by Bryan Adams. Dorrit and Miller sleep to an untended flame, Tom and Deb cuddle with nothing to say, Carrie and Sebastian are doing the When Harry Met Sally.
Carrie comes home the morning, to no one else. Maggie knocks on her door immediately after, and looks nervous. She can't keep her damn mouth shut. Meanwhile, in New York, Walt and Bennett are coming home from a night clubbing. Walt kisses Bennett, and Bennett refuses him because Walt is 17. He tells Walt he'll be counting the days until he turns 18 at the end of the summer.
Maggie tells Carrie everything, and Carrie should scratch her face. Carrie tells Maggie she's not the victim, and it's always about her. Yeah, tell her what's up, Carrie! Even though it's really all about Carrie for us, and all her friends, Carrie gives Maggie's character the kiss of death. Their friendship is over; forever I hope.
Sebastian tries to call Carrie on the phone, she is too depressed to even see who is calling. Dorrit comes in to comfort Carrie, who tells her Miller seems nice. They agree that it's good for Tom to have a life, and don't care that he calls the woman he's dating "the gym." Sebastian stops by and Dorrit sends him away.
Mouse introduces her black boyfriend to her Chinese parents. Walt and Bennett make Bloody Marys together, in the tradition of gay brunch. Maggie makes out with Office Secretsex. Carrie talks to Tom about "the gym," and lets him know it's OK but she doesn't want to meet the gym just yet.
Carrie proposes to Tom that he let her and Walt stay in Larissa's loft for the summer. I love this idea, because it's the only show I'd want to see: Carrie and Gay Walt taking on the city for their first time, along with Donna LaDonna and Eugene. In the end, Carrie has transitioned to the loft in the city with Walt, and a typewriter. And Carrie is wearing big skirts again, and forever. This show is ready to be renewed, or canceled.
So, will we ever get to see prom? Will Carrie Diaries be renewed? Or will it just be replaced by shows like Oh, Sit! and Ow, My Balls for good? Either way, I'm happy. Well, really, I'm happier with anything that involves people falling down, and my one complaint about Carrie Diaries is that there weren't enough people falling down, or celebrities diving.