Earshot

Buffy runs in the night. A flesh-colored latex-y demon catches up to her when she trips, but it's really just a clever feint. She stabs the first demon while his friend runs away. Not so much in a menacing "terror of the night" way, but more as if he had suddenly realized that his species of demon wears clothing but he had forgotten his pants. Very unthreatening. Close-up on Buffy's hand, where some silvery demo goo soaks into her skin. Sheesh. I almost had a Roswell moment there. But it's okay. It's over. I will persevere.

morning at the library, Buffy fills Willow in on last night's slayage as they make their way to the seats. Willow expresses disquiet with the "no mouth thing," and I guess that means she's not a big Hello Kitty fan. Giles greets the rest of the gang (minus Faith) and prepares to give everyone the highlights of his Ascension research. He mentions, "It is not the ritual flaying of the demon Azorath," and then trails off, admitting that he really has no clue what's going to happen. Buffy scratches her hand pointedly. Because it's itchy. From the demon goo. Wesley scurries in and asks Giles what he was talking about. When he hears it's the Ascension, Wesley snips, "And what took up the rest of the minute?" Giles gathers his breath and sighs out a "touch." Then he says that he's sure Wesley will have much more to add, what with his access to the CoW's resources and all. Wesley draws himself up to his full height and begins, "Azorath." See? Ya'll thought that Giles was just gonna take Wesley's shit, but he masterfully lured him into his web of fool-making. At the mention of Azorath, the gang up and files out. In the background, Willow and Oz have a little hand-play. And if I were playing opposite Seth Green as my boyfriend, I would constantly be trying to talk him into stuff like that to add a touch of realism: "Seth, don't you think we should be making out in this scene? Because even though in real life we are both closer to being middle-aged than being teenagers, the characters we're playing are teens and there's nothing that revs up a teenager's already almost out-of-control hormones than talks of spooks, ghouls, and impending doom. So I say you should shove me up against the check-out desk here and lay one on me." Oh, what? Like you wouldn't do the same thing if given half the chance.

In the hallway, Will wants to know if Buffy has spoken with Angel lately. Buffy says that she isn't sure if she wants to see him right now, because it looked as if he were enjoying his tongue-wrestling session with Faith a little too much. Willow reminds her it was "for the greater good," which brings up the question of whether Angel actually slept with Faith or not. At the time, I couldn't believe that she would accept any excuse for him not going All The Way. Now I don't give a damn, because my Care-O-Meter requires at least 50 percent of the participants in any given scene or plot point to actually still be part of the show in order to even get the needle wiggling.

As Willow fumbles with her combination lock, she advises Buffy to talk to Angel. They're interrupted by Percy and another jock walking down the hall. Percy stops to talk to Willow about their tutoring sessions, and why am I talking about this? It has no point. Oh, wait. They needed it as a set-up for Buffy to find out that all her friends are going to the game but she has to patrol instead. Boo hoo hoo. Many a night when I was forced to go to some high-school sporting event, I wished for a decent excuse so that I could have gotten out of it. The existence of demons that I alone was prepared to battle in order to save the world from certain doom would have been an airtight and welcome pretext.

In Giles's office, Buffy is discussing her itch problem with Giles. He picks a demon mug-shot out some old book, and after she confirms that it's the same kind of demon she had a run-in with, Giles tells her that it's likely that she has been infected with an aspect of the demon. He advises her to stay away from itch-making demons and to call him in the morning.

Pep rally in preparation for the game. Really, it's just an excuse to get Cordelia in the episode somehow. That's some pathetic cheering from a former professional. I wasn't even aware they were forming letters until Oz pointed it out. Willow reads aloud from an editorial in the school paper by a guy named "Freddy." Freddy is a huge misanthrope. That's all you need to know. Willow mentions how depressing the school paper has become, but Oz says that he doesn't notice, as he always skips right ahead to the obits. Heh. Willow notices Buffy running her fingers through her hair, and at first Buffy tries to play it off but eventually cops to "checking for horns." Heh. Willow takes her off to the side to reassure her as Buffy lists the possibilities of what demon part she could end up with and Willow's eyes go wide with fear. "Was it a boy demon?" she asks of Buffy. HA!

Buffy walks home at night. She stops by a fence and takes out her compact to check that she still looks human, but it's really just a gag for Angel to show up behind her without her noticing. 'Cuz it's a mirror. And he's a vampire. Geez. I'm thinking that gag stopped being cute about 3.2 nanoseconds after its first use, but Strega tells me they're still mining that particular vein of comedic fool's gold over on Angel. Buffy asks what Angel is doing there, and he mentions that "it's a dangerous time" because of the situation with Faith. Buffy asks Angel if he came looking for her, or if he was hoping to find Faith. Blah blah blah. I'm not spending more time than necessary on Buffy/Angel angst. It's played, people. And again, only 33 and a third percent of the participants are still on the show, and I have these cute little kittens that I'm fostering, which makes it very difficult to recap this episode. I'm just going to watch the kittens for a bit while these two angst it out. Hee! It's like the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center in here, except with kittens instead of subatomic particles colliding at very high speeds. Hey, maybe I should name them Muon and Gluon. Much better than Thing One and Thing Two, which is what I've been calling them so far. Okay. Back to the show. Buffy mentions that she's going to get a case of the "bumpies," and Angel says, "Aspect of the demon," in this really wistful voice like he's reminiscing. "I remember my first aspect of the demon. It had red sparkly streamers, and I went by Katie O'Shaughnessy's house every day hoping she would notice." Buffy totally flubs her delivery of the line: "You know the drill." Which, in my opinion, would have made more sense as a question but instead she recites it as a statement. What is up with the odd delivery? Don't these people run lines? Buffy is still upset; I still have no patience for this. Angel stops her and tells her that he's not going to let anything happen to her if he can prevent it, and that he'll always be there for her. "Hey. I love you. Even if you're covered with slime." Hmmm. Let's compare and contrast. Angel: "I love you, Buffy. No matter what." Riley: "I love you, Buffy. But only if you love me back in the exact way that I have decreed you should."

School. Willow, Xander, and Oz are excitedly discussing the game, but they shush when Buffy approaches so she won't think they were having fun without her. Cordy approaches and says something pointless and then goes off to talk with her herd. Xander looks over and says in that tinny TV voice that can only mean telepathy is going down, "I wonder if she and Wesley have kissed." Buffy remarks about how much that bugs him and Xander mutters, "Man, you read my mind." Close-up on Buffy as she figures out what aspect the demon gave her.

Buffy walks down the hall, picking up thoughts from random passersby. She passes one boy who thinks how attractive Buffy is. She stops to pose briefly to facilitate his admiration, but quickly scurries off when his thoughts turn more lascivious.

Library. Buffy is talking to Giles about her new fun power, and she seems excited that she's not getting a tail because finding jeans that fit is hard enough as it is. Don't have to tell me twice. Although what problems Buffy would have squeezing her bony little ass into some denim, I can't imagine. Giles isn't convinced that it's true mind-reading, but Buffy trumps him by repeating that he recently mentally mocked her shoes: "'If a fashion magazine told her to, she'd wear cats strapped to her feet.'" Giles is agape, but makes the logical leap that the demons didn't need mouths because they communicate telepathically. Again, Buffy is excited to start having fun with her new power.

English class. A teacher is lecturing on Othello. Buffy cribs the answers from other students' minds, annoying a Tracy-Flick-like girl sitting to her and astounding Willow, who thinks, "Buffy did the reading? Buffy understood the reading?" Freddy of the misanthropic editorials dismissively thinks, "Look at them, scrambling for the teacher's praise like pigeons for old bread crusts," and then decides he should write that down because it's "deep."

stop, Overcompensation Estates. Angel goes to answer the door, but Buffy sweeps the curtains back letting in sunlight and nearly immolating Angel. She blabs on and makes her way to the couch; as they walk, I notice all these stray beams of sunlight on the walls and floor. I guess Angel likes living in an obstacle course or something. Buffy sits and blathers on not at all subtly, bringing the conversation around to Faith. Angel sits there like a stump. Buffy probes again but isn't picking up anything. The first time I saw this, I cackled gleefully at the implication that Angel was just an empty-headed, man-pretty clunk, but then he tells Buffy that her parlor-trick powers won't work on him because, like with mirrors, "The thoughts are there but they create no reflection in [Buffy]." Buffy is disappointed, and then Angel tells her that she doesn't have to play these games; she can just talk to him if something is on her mind. Angel asks what Buffy wants to know about, and proceeds to list the main concerns on Buffy's mind -- mainly, how did Angel feel about the whole evil charade. As long as it's question hour, maybe Angel can tell me why he finds it necessary to wear such skanky gold man-jewelry. Angel reassures Buffy that he hated every minute that he was forced to hurt her, and that he's not interested in bad girls because he has had "dozens of girls like [Faith]." Were they all blind? I mean, the hair? Angel continues that, in all of 243 years, he's "loved exactly one person." Buffy takes this in and then slides closer and whispers, "It is me, right?" Angel gently admonishes her, "time just ask." He then warns her that she should be careful with her new midway freak-show act, because things that seem good on the surface can be painful. Like David Boreanaz. And his acting. But somehow I don't think that's what he was talking about.

Library. Buffy fills in the rest of the gang on the recent development of her new power. Xander worriedly tries not to think about sex, but fails. Miserably. He attempts to recite the times tables in his head: "Four times five is thirty. Five times six is thirty-two," but then interjects, "Naked girls. Naked women. Naked Buffy." Buffy asks churlishly if that's all Xander can think about. Xander: "Actually. Bye." He bolts. Willow is excited at first, but then worries that Buffy will understand Oz in a way she never can and that Buffy will no longer need her as a friend. Oz, bless him, thinks, "I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me. She becomes me. I cease to exist." Out loud this becomes, "Hmmm." Predictably, Cordelia thinks exactly what she says. One by one, Buffy drives away all her friends. The cheese stands alone. Disgusted, Buffy leaves as well.

Buffy walks down the hall, barraged by everyone's painful, painful thoughts.

Giles. Researching. He finds a case similar to Buffy's, except that the man in question has had to go into complete isolation to avoid being driven insane.

Cafeteria. Buffy stands in the lunch line. She's getting more and more disturbed and distracted by everyone's thoughts. She slowly makes her way to a table, and the din grows louder until one thought comes through clearly, "This time tomorrow. I'll kill you all!" Buffy drops her tray in shock. The room applauds. Buffy goes around grabbing people, trying to find the source of the voice she heard. She puts her hands to her head to block out everything, and the camera goes all wiggly to indicate dizziness until Buffy faints.

Buffy comes to under a tree with the gang looking down at her. I know California public schools are under-funded, but wouldn't they still have a nurse's office? Buffy sits up and reveals that she's wearing some bizarre metal rods in her hair, which are totally distracting me until I figure out that Buffy isn't telepathic at all! It's just that her hair ornaments are acting like antennae and picking up everyone's cell phone conversations. Buffy insists she's fine and then tells Giles about the death threat she just overheard. She tries to walks back into the school but only gets a few steps before she's overwhelmed by random thoughts. Then the Scooby Gang thoughts start to bother her. Giles offers to take her home while Buffy tells them to check out everyone who was in the cafeteria. Giles walks Buffy to the car and tries to reassure her when Buffy asks if she'll be okay. Giles says, "You'll be fine. I promise." Giles thinks, "If it doesn't go away she'll go insane." Good job there, Mr. Mental Discipline.

The library. Infamous scene that got the episode yanked in which they say that school massacres are "bordering on trendy." Why is this episode included in the box set titled "The Slayer Chronicles"? Faith isn't even in it. Probably because it has mysterious cachet, since it wasn't aired until well after the season had ended. "Earshot" is the Lambada of Buffy episodes.

At the Summers' home, Joyce (sniff) tucks Buffy and her cow jammies into bed. She offers to get Buffy a pillow, a blanket, or to make her some soup, all in an effort to prevent Buffy from reading her mind. Buffy sits bolt upright. "You had sex with Giles? On the hood of a police car?" Joyce scampers off. "Twice?" Buffy yells after her. ["Hee. Cracks me up every time." -- Ace]

At the library, Willow distributes assignments for everyone. She reminds them all that they need to grill everyone on their lists, and asks that they use the sample questions. Nobody moves. "Today, people!" she snaps. They skedaddle, but not before Willow reminds them to "write neatly!"

Willow interrogates Jonathan in the library. See, this is supposed to be funny, because it's all out of character for Willow to be so aggressive and direct, but after the hatchet job done on her character during the past two seasons, I'm retroactively annoyed.

Oz wanders into the yearbook office looking for Freddy, who appears not to be there but is actually hiding under his desk. 'Cause they want us to think that he's a suspect. Geddit?

That night, Buffy stands by her bedroom window. Multiple thoughts from neighbors and passersby invade her mind, which is apparently unused to such strenuous activity. She closes her eyes and finally slams the window shut in frustration. Looking more petulant than "driven mad," Buffy climbs into bed and futilely claps a pillow over her head. But hey, I feel for her. I've had a headache or two a lot like that.

Giles and Wes are in the library, mixing up a potion to cure Buffy. Giles expositions that the potion requires the heart of the second demon. He slams his glasses down in anger and looks properly disgusted when Wes mealy-mouths, "Negative thinking doesn't solve problems." Can I just add how excited I am that I was just now taking a break from this recap and happened to catch Wes getting gut-shot on Angel? Nothing like a little suffering on Wes's part to liven up being obligated to recap his annoying scenes. Giles wonders who will fetch the demon heart.

Suddenly, the mouthless demon flies through the night air and smashes into a picnic table. Close on its heels is Angel, who has apparently, without any macho posturing (unlike some of Buffy's boyfriends I could mention, but won't), agreed to procure the demon's heart for the Slayer. The demon and Angel fight. A nice wire trick sends Angel spinning through the air. The demon flees, and Angel is in quick pursuit.

The morning, Buffy tosses restlessly in bed; a worried Joyce sits beside her. Joyce looks sadly out the window. Even I can't think of something funny to say about that.

At school, Tracy Flick repeats back to Willow, "Do I often imagine classmates are spying on me? Or otherwise acting suspiciously?" Willow, dressed in a green shirt and floppy hat that make her look like an enchanted toadstool, waits for an answer. "Not till just now," replies Tracy Flick sourly. I have to admit -- I like her just a tiny little bit. We have Cordy to fill the "popular, seemingly vacuous bitch" role, but I still think there's a place for Tracy Flick's brand of "academically superior, smitty, competitive bitch."

Xander and Larry are seated at a table near the vending machines. Still trying to locate the cafeteria murderer, Xander asks Larry some leading questions about whether his "secret" is leading to "unexpressed rage." Once he finally figures out what Xander's babbling about, Larry proudly bellows, "Man, I'm out! I'm so out I've got my grandma fixing me up with guys." What kind of guys would one's grandma encounter? I guess she could set Larry up with the pool boy, or the bag boy, or the nice gay sons of her bridge partners. Xander is embarrassed by all this gay talk -- even more so when Larry encourages Xander to come out himself. He even suggests that Freddy could put a notice ("Something tasteful.") in the school paper for Xander.

Sep: "I don't know what to do about this episode. Fun to watch, but the thought of recapping it fills me with ennui."
Ace: "Maybe you could make fun of Larry claiming that Freddy isn't gay. I mean, look at him. You could make a chart! 'Gay or Eurotrash?'"
Sep: "Or an equation. Y'know, 'Inordinate amount of attention to clothing plus copious amount of gel in well-coiffed hair minus European citizenship equals Gay'! It's like a proof! If a and b but not c then Gay."
Ace: "Because, if you recall, you're so good with math."
Sep: "But it's comedy math. That's not hard. Comedy math is comedy gold. Look! I just turned math into gold. And that's alchemy."
Ace: "I know I say this a lot, but you are really, really odd. You should get that checked out."

Oz tries the door to the school paper's office. It's locked, and as he peeps in the window, Freddy comes around the corner, spots Oz, and scampers away.

In the library, Xander, Cordy, Oz, and Willow compare notes. The only person they have been unable to locate is Freddy Iverson. "We can't figure out if it's him without the worksheet, right?" morons Cordy, and Xander points to the title of that day's editorial, "Big game draws mindless, brain-dead mob," as evidence that Freddy is a nutcase. ["I was pretty much Freddy in high school. Um, not in a gay or Eurotrash way, but in a 'hatred of my fellow students' way. I'll leave you to judge whether or not I'm a nutcase." -- Ace]

Buffy is still in bed, whimpering. Joyce stands in the doorway to Buffy's room, telling Giles that she's afraid she's hurting Buffy by being nearby. Giles assures her that Buffy "can't pick one thought out of the din." There's frantic knocking downstairs, and Wes open the front door to admit Angel, under a smoking blanket. Angel holds up a glass flask containing a blue, chunky glowing substance. Upstairs, Angel lifts Buffy up and -- boy, does she have bed-head! I mean, really convincing, flat, matted-spot-on-the-back-of-her-skull bed-head. That's so nice to see after the icily styled perfection of season five. Angel supports Buffy's head and tips some of the blue liquid into her mouth. She gags and spits, which is yuck, but hey, I wouldn't want to drink glow-stick innards either. Angel lowers Buffy back against the pillows and kisses her forehead. She seems to be resting quietly, but then starts writhing and shrieking. Angel holds her down and calls for Giles.

At school, people go about their business. The Scoobies head purposefully across the quad, and then we pan up into the clock tower. There, we see a sweaty Jonathan. He opens up a large case to reveal a disassembled high-power rifle.

Back from what would have been a commercial during regular airing, we see Buffy lying in bed with Angel holding her hand. Her eyes flick open, and she looks around, disoriented. Joyce, Wes, and Giles are standing nearby, and Joyce worriedly asks if Buffy is now all right. The Slayer, looking very sweaty and disheveled, has lost her overwhelming psychic ability, and is mostly concerned about finding the killer at school.

Oz, Willow, Xander, and Cordy finally find Freddy in the newspaper office. "Okay, Oz, you got me. What are your friends going to do, hold me down?" brazens Freddy, but seems confused when Willow tells him that they're not going to let him get away with "big murder." Whoops! Freddy is confused. Apparently he's has been ditching Oz because of a nasty review he wrote about Dingoes Ate My Baby. "'Dingoes Ate My Baby played their instruments as if they had plump Polish sausages taped to their fingers,'" reads Oz. Freddy apologizes but Oz, who after careful consideration allows, "No, that's fair." He does look a little hurt, though. ["I volunteer to be the one who comforts him." -- Ace] As Willow and Cordy discuss the hopelessness of finding the killer, Buffy appears in the doorway behind them. "We still have a few minutes," she declares, and really, no one but Xander seems very happy to see her. Guess I'll scratch "getting psychic abilities and quickly going mad" off my list of ways to get more attention from my friends. Buffy quickly outlines a plan, which includes having Snyder evacuate the school, and I actually would like to have seen that conversation between Giles and Snyder. Cordy, who has been looking through the papers on Freddy's desk, picks one up and reads, "By this time tomorrow you'll all know what I have done. I'm sure you understand that I had to do it, and that although death is never easy...it's the only way." Willow sees that the note is signed "Jonathan" and yelps, "Oh! I had him in my grasp. Slippery weasel!" The gang splits up to find Jonathan, and the last we ever see of Freddy is him sitting like a bump on a log, looking vaguely confused.

For some reason, Xander is still lurking about in the cafeteria. Caught in Jell-O's wobbly thrall, I suppose. He sneaks up on some Jell-O, and as he's about to shove it in his mouth, he catches sight of the lunch lady. She has a huge, cartoony, yellow-and-green box labeled "Rat Poison" tipped over a stew pot. Rat poison by Blammo! Batteries not included. Xander pauses, the lunch lady continues to pour poison, and then Xander runs. Run, Xander, run! This cartoony scene has good timing and is purposefully comical, and for some reason I'm reminded of the stupid troll hammer scene in "The Gift." That was funny and cartoony, but not intentionally at all, and that's just sad. Every time I saw Buffy lift that hammer to whack Glory, I heard a old-timey car horn (AAAAHH-OO-GAH!) in my head and had the overwhelming urge to scream "ZONK!" at the TV. Xander heads out into the cafeteria and starts flipping over tables and trays; the furious lunch lady follows him, wielding a cleaver. She's about to cleave Xander a new one when Buffy appears and catches her arm. The lunch lady is of the opinion that high-school students are "vermin" and "filth." Buffy seems to think that this indicates the lunch lady is irrational, but hey, all of us over the age of twenty-one know the truth. The lunch lady and Buffy fight, and I giggle because the lunch lady's stunt double is quite obviously a man. Buffy wins the fight.

Later, Willow and Buffy walk to school. Buffy's clad in a strange outfit, the stand-out feature being knee-high boots that are loose and floppy around the tops. She's got a Three Musketeers vibe going that isn't working for me. Willow wants to know if Buffy feels better about the situation with Angel, and Buffy replies, "Well, we talked. And then he ripped out the heart of a demon and fed it to me -- and then we talked some more. " Sounds like my best relationships. Willow and I both agree, "That's how it should work!" The girls run into Giles, and Willow trots off to give the murder profiles to the yearbook crew. Buffy and Giles continue walking; Buffy's doing fine and fills Giles in on Jonathan, who was suspended and is less popular than ever due to his rifle-toting ways. Buffy thinks he's doing better, and she's happy to be helping but she's afraid he's starting to "get that look" that means he'll ask her to prom. This conversation reminds me of the scene at the end of "Superstar," where Buffy is nasty to Jonathan and doesn't even ask him to join the rest of gang for their picnic. Grrr -- that scene annoyed me at the time and I'm getting even more annoyed here by what Buffy is saying. I guess checking up on Jonathan for a little while gave her some real warm fuzzies about her wonderful, charitable nature, but she apparently never saw fit to climb down off her pedestal and actually make friends with the guy. Buffy balks at Giles's suggestion that she might accept an invitation to prom from Jonathan. "He's like three feet tall!" she protests, which is a pretty gauche thing to say about a guy who hates himself enough to recently attempt suicide. Giles smirks and inquires if Buffy is ready to train. She agrees to work out after school, and then adds, "If you're not too busy having sex with my mother!" Whump! The dumbfounded Giles walks straight into a tree.