Previouslys. Faith introduces herself. Faith kills Twitchy. Faith doesn't care. Faith is unstable. Faith saves Buffy from Mr. Trick. Faith joins forces with the Mayor. Faith gets the Books of Ascension. Faith tells Buffy that the ascension can't be stopped. Faith tells Buffy to "stick around." So is Faith going to be in this episode or what?
That would be yes. Faith sits in the Mayor's desk chair with her eyes closed. He tells her she can open them, and there's a box tied up with a ribbon in front of her. She asks what the occasion is, and he tells her it's to thank her in advance for "running a small errand at the airport." Faith gets a little sassy. The Mayor: "This isn't a free ride, young lady. You know, I'm beginning to think that somebody's getting a little spoiled. Maybe I should take this back." Faith meekly apologizes. They're really selling the father-daughter dynamic here. The Mayor accepts her apology, and offers her a cookie. Hee. He explains that the errand in question involves something crucial to his ascension. He brightly says that without it, "well, what would Tollhouse cookies be without the chocolate chips?" Faith hilariously regards her cookie as if she's actually pondering the answer to that question. I don't think he meant it as a Zen koan, dear. He continues, "A pretty darn big disappointment, I can tell you!" He tells her to open her present. She complies, and practically glows upon seeing the knife we know so well. She might not have been so happy about it if she'd known that it would end up in her gut. He tells her not to put anyone's eye out with it, "until I tell you to." Faith: "Any particular eyes in mind?"
Cut to Buffy and Angel, fighting two vamps. They dust them, Buffy executing a very cool jumping side kick in the process. She starts to mope that she and Angel are in a rut. "You never take me anyplace new." Angel tries to tell her that the fire demon nest they took out was a nice change of pace. Heh. Buffy wonders if this is how they'll spend their nights when "I'm fifty and you're the same age you are now." Nice try, honey. Hear that sound? That's the clock ticking off the number of minutes until David Boreanaz looks too old to play Angel. It's not a large number. They hear a vamp growl, and Angel suggests that they focus on just getting her to fifty. Credits.
The Mummy. Wow, the commercials didn't do that movie any favors.
Buffy's studying. No, really. Joyce walks in and asks when Buffy was going to tell her. Buffy thinks she's talking about a pair of earrings that Buffy apparently borrowed, but Joyce says that she's referring to the fact that Buffy was accepted to Northwestern. That's a mega-shout-out to Demian. Joyce gushes, but Buffy doesn't look so enthusiastic. Joyce says it's not cheap, but they can swing it if Buffy's dad pitches in. That'll happen. She tells Buffy how proud she is. Buffy: "You said that before." Joyce: "And will again soon." Aw, Joyce. Buffy considers bursting her mom's bubble by telling her she can't leave Sunnydale, but decides to let her have her happy moment, simply saying that she wants to consider her options. Joyce picks up the phone to call a relative to brag. As she dials, she calls after Buffy. Buffy: "I know. You're proud of me." Joyce: "Don't forget to put my earrings back in my dresser before you go out." Hee. I miss Joyce so much.
School, outside. Snyder harasses some kid, thinking he's got drugs in his lunch bag, but it turns out it's just his lunch. Snyder: "Sit up straight." Hee. I suppose this was done to establish that Snyder's cracking down on drugs at the school, given his later behavior. That was totally unnecessary, in my opinion, but still funny. At another table, Willow, Oz, and Buffy sit, while Xander sits against a nearby tree. Willow says that it sounds like Joyce is in a state of denial. Buffy: "More like a continent." She says she can't go away, especially with Faith having turned evil, and that it's UC Sunnydale for her, but congratulates Willow on getting into Oxford. "That's where they make Gileses!" Why does she think I moved to England? Willow's excited, but isn't sure about going to school in a foreign country. Xander, holding a copy of On The Road by Jack Kerouac, pipes up, "'Everything in life is foreign territory.' Kerouac. He's my teacher. The open road, my school." Buffy snarks, "Making the open dumpster your cafeteria?" Xander: "Go ahead, mock me." Oz: "I think she just did." Ha! What can I add to that? Oh, I know: Shut up, Xander. The cuteness continues; Xander: "We bohemian antisocial types have always been persecuted." Oz: "Well sure, you're always so weird." I miss Oz so much. Willow thinks a road trip is a good idea for Xander, and he says it will help him find himself. Cordy, who's just walked onscreen: "And help us to lose you. Everyone's a winner." Xander uses Willow's college acceptances to try to needle Cordelia. Cordy: "Oxford. Whoopee! Four years in Teabag Central. Sounds thrilling. And MIT is a Clearasil ad with housing, and Yale is a dumping ground for those who didn't get into Harvard." Willow: "I got into Harvard." Heh. Harvard sucks. Xander and Cordy snark a bit more. Buffy throws in a relatively innocent comment. Cordy: "I'm sorry, Buffy, this conversation is reserved for those who actually have a future." Unnecessary roughness penalty right there, especially with the whole death subtext. Cordy can be a real bitca, can't she? Buffy looks like the comment hit way too close to home.
Library. Wesley tells Buffy, "I don't understand." That's because you're an idiot. Okay, wait -- maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt. Buffy tells him she wants to leave Sunnydale after she graduates. Yup, I was right -- idiot. He stares blankly at her, saying that she's the Slayer. Giles, emerging from his office, starts to say that he knows they've discussed this subject before. Buffy interrupts him to say that she got into Northwestern. Giles's face brightens beautifully, but Wesley ponces about Slayer-related stuff, and forbids Buffy to leave Sunnydale. He mentions the Council, and makes a very prissy-looking symbol with his fingers. Does the Council have an official symbol? Regardless, it was funny, in the "I'm laughing at Wesley, not with him" way. Buffy rolls her eyes. Giles: "Oh yes. That should settle it." Hee. Wesley brings up the ascension and Faith, but Buffy offers to take care of those problems. She says she's tired of waiting for something to happen. Wait till you get to Season Six, sweetie. She says they should take the fight to the Mayor. Wesley thinks that's too risky, but Giles agrees with her, and suggests finding out what the Mayor's up to. The preschoolers across the street suggested the same thing five minutes ago.
Airport, at night. A small propeller job lands. A dude with long hair, a tattooed face, and snakeskin boots emerges holding a large metallic box. Wow, why not have him puffing on a cigarette too? He's obviously got less than a minute to live. He approaches a henchvamp standing by a car. The marked-for-death guy asks the henchvamp where the Mayor is. The henchvamp opens the car door and says he'll take MFD Guy to him. We see that the box is handcuffed to MFD Guy's wrist. He kicks the door shut, saying that the Mayor was supposed to be there himself. "Well, the price just went up. I don't like surprises." On cue, an arrow pokes out of his chest. MFD Guy and the henchvamp stare at it. Hee. Now-Dead Guy keels over, revealing Faith standing atop some airport structure. She sneers, "Surprise." She walks over to the henchvamp, who's completely collecting flies. He manages, "You killed him." Faith: "What are you, the narrator? Get the keys to the cuffs!" Heh. The vamp can't find them. Faith draws her new toy. The henchvamp smugly tells her that it won't cut through steel. Faith, with a smile: "No, but it'll cut through bone." The vamp's face falls. She's so evil that she's squicking out demons. And me. Was that redundant?
The car pulls up to City Hall. Buffy watches from the bushes. The henchvamp opens the door for Faith, who carries the box inside. She walks into the Mayor's office. He's delighted to see her and the box, but wonders where the courier is. Faith: "I made him an offer he couldn't survive." This cracks the Mayor up, and he compliments her initiative. She invites him to go on, and he does, telling her that if Buffy offered to join him, he'd tell her he's already got all the Slayer he needs. That sounded slightly creepy and wrong. At the mention of Buffy, the temperature in the room drops about fifty degrees. He asks if Faith's still hung up on the events of "Enemies," but she says she's fine. She goes to open the box, but he whirls and pounds it closed. "Don't do that." Heh.
The henchvamp pulls the car up somewhere. He hears a noise, and then Buffy punches the driver's side window in. She drags him out, and with a bright smile asks, "So what's in the box?"
Library. Buffy tells the gang that what she saw is called the Box of Gavrok. That idiot henchvamp knew what it was called? He was about as bright as Thomson and Thompson from Tintin. I can't see him being privy to any useful information. She says that the box houses demonic energy the Mayor will need to "chow down on come A-Day." Giles and Willow walk in with blueprints of City Hall that Willow obtained through hackery. Buffy says that, before she was forced to "introduce him to Mr. Pointy," the vamp told her that the box was being held in a conference room on the top floor. Wesley tries to suggest something. He's ignored. Hee. Buffy says that she and Angel will climb up a fire ladder on the side of the building and retrieve the box through the skylight. Giles and Willow say that they'll have to perform a ritual to destroy the box, and send Xander to the magic shop. Wesley can't bear not to be the center of attention any longer, and tantrums that the Mayor will have "supernatural safeguards" protecting the box. Giles's expressions through this part are hilarious, as he looks like he's humoring a child. Wesley's revelation doesn't faze anyone, as Buffy says it's a job for "Wiccan girl." They all leave, Wesley last. Hee.
Xander, on the main drag, sees Cordelia through a store window. He enters, and speculates that she was so snide earlier because she didn't get into any good schools. Only he uses a lot more words than that, and sticks his foot so far into his mouth that he succeeds in kicking his own ass from the inside. Cordy: "And once again, the gold medal in the being wrong event goes to Xander 'I'm As Stupid As I Look' Harris." I'll have to remember that one if I do nicknames in a future recap. She rattles off her acceptances: USC, Colorado State, Duke, and Columbia. He snarks that she only got in because she's rich, putting her on the other side of one of those "hitting too close to home" comments. She tells him to go away. He says that he has to get back to saving lives, and that he wouldn't want to keep her from any "important accessorizing." After he leaves, Cordy looks sad. Aw. She deserved it for the terrible things she said in "The Zeppo," but I still feel bad for her. I think I like Cordelia so much because she's the only character, in my opinion, that's exhibited logical, halfway believable character development over the years. Although that floating up into the sky thing was annoying.
A van pulls up to City Hall. Buffy, Angel, and Willow get out. Giles and Wesley are in the front. Giles says that if anything should go wrong, he and Wesley will create a diversion. I fervently hope said diversion would entail Giles pushing Wesley out of the van and driving away. Wesley tells them to synchronize their watches, but Buffy and Willow hold up empty wrists. Hee. I hate wearing a watch too. Giles tells them to be careful, and they get to it. Giles offers Wesley tea from a Thermos. Heh. The three Scoobs climb the ladder.
In the library, Xander and Oz prepare the ritual. There's a large urn involved. That'll be important later. Oz shows Xander instructions that Willow wrote out for them, noting that there are drawings of everything involved, including them. Xander wonders which stick figure is which, but Oz points out that he's the one with the guitar. Aw. They bond over how great Willow is, and start with the ingredients for the ritual. Oz's fingernails are painted black. I've never noticed that before. I don't think it really works with his blond hair.
City Hall roof. Buffy, Angel, and Willow look through the skylight, and Angel opens it. Buffy hands Willow a book and a bottle of some sort of powder. Willow reads an incantation as she pours out the powder. We see that the box, atop a conference table, is protected by a magic bubble. As she finishes the incantation, she pours out the remainder of the powder, and the bubble disappears. They're psyched. No offense to Willow, but I think Angel probably could have performed that spell just as easily. Buffy tells Willow to get going, which annoys me. Wouldn't it have been safer to wait for them there? Angel rigs a harness for Buffy, and lowers her into the room. She grabs the box, but an alarm goes off. The harness jams, and Buffy calls desperately for Angel. Two vamps enter the room. Angel gives up on the harness, jumps down, and grabs the box. Box-fu ensues. Boy, you write weird things when you're a recapper. Buffy manages to get out of the harness. I don't usually notice stuff like this, but both their stunt doubles here look nothing like them. It's like the stunt double parody in I'm Gonna Git You Sucka. The fight also goes on way longer than it would have taken for back-up to get there. Maybe the Mayor's got the rest of his vamps disinfecting his bathroom or something. Anyway, shockingly, Buffy and Angel manage to escape by pinning the two vamps under the conference table. They run out the front door. Giles and Wesley peel out in the van, and the vamps, thinking Buffy and Angel are inside, give chase. Stupid vamps. Buffy and Angel, who took cover, run off with the box.
Much later, Willow is finishing with the last of the volumes when Faith's voice interrupts her: "Check out the bookworm." She chides Willow for "Nancy Drewing," saying that now she knows too much, which leads to killing. Willow stalls, saying that she wants to talk to Faith. Faith thinks Willow wants to tell her it's not too late for her, but Willow says it's way too late. Faith's face falls. Willow: "You know, it didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life; I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo! Poor you. You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean, you had friends like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a Slayer, and now you're nothing. You're just a big, selfish, worthless waste." Wow. Who knew Willow had it in her? She's turned into Parker Posey or something. Faith hauls off and punches her. Willow continues to stack up the verbal points, noting that Faith hit her because she didn't have a comeback. Faith answers that by drawing her knife, but the Mayor interrupts them, saying that he just got an interesting phone call. He's so excited that he doesn't even chastise Faith for sitting on his desk.
School. The Scoobs have barricaded themselves in the cafeteria. Oz says that the only way in is through the front door. Xander says he feels trapped, but Buffy wants to see the Mayor coming. On cue, the lights go out. Angel says he can see fine. The doors swing open, and the Mayor strides in flanked by henchvamps, with Faith, holding Willow, behind him. Probably unintentionally, but still hilariously, everyone's looking at him except Angel, who's staring off to the side. Doofus. The groups stand off, and Buffy and the Mayor step forward, all Jets and Sharks. I expect "Beat It" to start up, which would have been hysterical. No such luck. The Mayor chuckles at how much of a cliché the clandestine scene is, and says he feels like they should all be wearing trench coats. He notes that Buffy is "the little girl that's been causing [him] all this trouble." Since he has actually seen her on two occasions, I'm taking that as his way of introducing himself. It's no worse than "Hi, I'm Richard Wilkins, and you and all your friends will be residents of my huge maw soon enough." The Mayor tells Angel that Buffy is pretty. Faith's face falls. Eliza always gets the little things right. He goes on that Angel must have strange taste in women not to have chosen Faith. Angel: "Well, what can I say. I like 'em sane." Give me a Dru! Dru! Faith pulls Willow closer, prompting Oz to urgently chide Angel. The Mayor says he wishes them the best, but that he doesn't see a future for them together. Buffy tries to shut him up, but he won't be deterred, saying they should show more respect for their elders. Angel retorts that the Mayor isn't his elder, but the Mayor counters that that's a big obstacle for him and Buffy. He says that he married his wife in '03 (I assume 1903, although I don't know for sure it wasn't before) and that he was with her to the end, which was "not a pretty picture." Those May/December romances never are. I mean, Jack Nicholson and Lara Flynn Boyle? Wrong on more levels than an Escher drawing.
The Mayor gets in Angel's face, saying that he's selfish for keeping Buffy from the life she should have. "Is that what you came back from hell for? Is that your greater purpose?" No, he came back from hell for his own show. Causing Buffy misery is just slumming. The Mayor disgustedly tells them to go ahead with the trade. Angel brings the box forward. Faith shoves Willow away and takes the box, but Snyder busts in with a couple of cops. Unnoticed at this point, the Mayor slowly backs up, contemplating his move. Snyder says he thinks there are drugs in the box as he takes it from Faith. She draws her knife, but Buffy tells her to wait. Sensing that the situation's getting out of control, the Mayor steps forward and addresses Snyder. Snyder sees Faith's knife for the first time, and looks scared. He apologizes to the Mayor. The Mayor says he's the one that's sorry, and that he should explain. I really would have liked to hear what he was going to say, but unfortunately one of the cops starts to open the box. The Mayor warns him not to, but it's too late. With a high-pitched shriek, a large black beetle-like creature jumps out and attaches itself to the cop's face. Dude, catch up on your mythology. Don't open forbidden boxes!
The cop yells and struggles with the bug, until a large pool of blood emerges from his head and he goes silent. The other cop tries valiantly not to be sick. The bug scurries away. It sure looked to me like the cop blinked after he was supposed to be dead. Everyone tensely looks around for the bug. Snyder orders the cop to open the door, but Giles yells that they can't let it out of the room. The Mayor looks up, and the bug drops onto his face. Faith moves quickly to chuck it off as another bug emerges from the box. The Mayor, a bit dazed, sits up. He has welts all over his face, but they quickly heal, which horrifies Snyder. The Mayor advises them to shut the box. Buffy quickly complies, chopping off a third bug's legs. One of the other two drops onto her back, but she falls backward, squashing it. The dissonant, jangly music adds to the creepiness of the scene. Faith turns toward Wesley and draws her knife. He screams like a little girl, but ducks as she lets the knife fly. It impales the other bug on the wall. Faith and I are all, "There was a bug there?" It's like that Simpsons Halloween special where Homer blasts zombie Flanders with a shotgun, and then is like, "He was a zombie?" It's a cheap laugh, but I'm not proud. The Mayor picks up the box. Oz asks if that's all the bugs, but the Mayor says there are about 50 billion left. As smug as he's acting, I wish he had to eat all of them. He gloats, "Raise your hand if you're invulnerable." The Mayor summons Faith, but she shakily looks at the bug stuck to the wall. After another look around, she walks out. They really got me when I first saw this episode -- I thought Faith was going to return to the good side before the finale, and in a way more tangible than that shared dream with Buffy, especially given the symbolism of her leaving the knife behind. Buffy asks Snyder if he's okay. Snyder: "Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" Heh. Buffy retrieves Faith's knife. Wesley ponces.