This recap is 100 percent Spike-free. Well, except that I just mentioned him, so let's call it 99 percent Spike-free. Oops! I keep doing that. No more mentioning that guy. This recap is 98 percent that-guy-free.
Pan down across the front of the Sunnydale Cinema, where Le Banquet D'Amelia is showing. A happy cuddly couple exits the theater, followed by Buffy and Angel, who don't look happy or cuddly. They both seem embarrassed and at a loss for words. Apparently, Buffy thought the movie was about food, but it was actually about something naughtier. "Feel like getting some hot chocolate, or some -- cold shower?" inquires Buffy. Angel practically writhes with embarrassment as he confesses, "It's been a long time since I've been to the movies. They've changed." Buffy apologized for getting Angel "worked up like that." Oh, come on, you two! A little Euro-porn isn't gonna make him pop his Angelus. I know they want to be careful about getting too intimate, but I think they could watch a movie and enjoy it without acting like it's going to lead to wild sex in the street right afterwards. Buffy manages to joke, "We can't actually do any of those things. You'd lose your soul. Besides, I don't even own a kimono." Angel admits that Buffy's mere presence is enough to, uh, sexually arouse him. I can't believe I have to even write a sentence like that. When a career counselor asked me in college, "Where do you see yourself in ten years?" I never, ever thought to say, "Intimately chronicling the sex life of a television vampire." Funny the little twists life brings you. Angel continues that frustration is not the only feeling he has around Buffy, and I so do not want to explore where that sentiment could leave us. He enjoys just having feelings. Soft music plinks as they kiss. "Check out the lust bunnies!" exclaims the pleather-clad Faith. Buffy stops the kiss with regret, and asks if it's time to go on patrol. Looking a little skeptical, Angel asks if the Council has Faith "back on active duty." "Finally!" responds Faith, but actually there's only one episode between this one and "Consequences." Not one to enjoy sitting around twiddling her thumbs, our Faith. Buffy soppily bids goodnight to Angel.
Cemetery. Faith and Buffy stroll along casually as Faith congratulates Buffy on her "willpower" in her relationship with Angel. She laughs that she couldn't "handle, you know, the way [Buffy's] not handling it." Buffy seems on the verge of telling Faith to butt out when she spots a demon lurking and punches him out. The Slayers hold the demon up against a crypt, and he admits he was looking for them. Apparently, he's in possession of the Books of Ascension and wants to cut a deal. Demon-boy -- I'll call him "Chirpy" -- mentions that the Mayor wants the books too, and Faith looks concerned. He wants $5,000 for the books, and Faith is skeptical enough about the deal to make a move towards killing Chirpy, who courageously takes that opportunity to run away. Buffy says she wants to know more about the books.
The Mayor's office. Faith sits in a chair in front of the Mayor's desk as he recaps the story so far. Just in case we didn't all tune in before the credits, and therefore missed the fact that a demon wants to sell some Books of Ascension to the Slayers. Swiftly changing gears, the Mayor tells Faith, "I wish you'd pull your hair back!" He compliments her "nice face," but Faith just seems weirded out by his comment; she hasn't entirely fallen under the spell cast by his perverse fatherly vibe yet. Telling her she worries too much, the Mayor then pours Faith a big glass of milk. Hee. I loved that guy! The Mayor instructs Faith, who isn't drinking her milk, to kill the demon and bring the books to him. "And if Buffy gets to him first?" sulks Faith. Shaking his head, the Mayor admonishes, "Frankly I don't like to think about that. I like good, positive, up thoughts." Chuckling, he vaguely threatens her with replacement if she fails him and then cheerfully chides her, "Drink up. There's nothing uncool about healthy teeth and bones."
In the library, Wesley Windbag-Ponce is again recapping the "demon wants money for books" plot point. Geez, season three was great, and all but parts of this episode read like they were ghost-written by David E. Kelley. None of our gang is sure what the ascension signifies, but Willow does come up with a reference from some obscure text. Giles demands to know where Willow saw the volume, and she has to admit, "In the top of your book cabinet with the stuff you try to keep hidden." Willow that I loved, where did you go? Please come back for season six. Love, Ace. Silly Xander wants to know if the hidden books contain any engravings of "frolicking nymphs," but sadly, Willow says no. Leafing through the text, Giles finds a passage written by a pastor called Desmond Kane. In 1763 he wrote, "Tomorrow is the Ascension. God help us all," and subsequently his entire town was never heard from again. Ascension? Not sounding so good. Giles wants Buffy to meet with the demon (the one who has books he wants to sell, remember? Remember?), but Buffy is concerned about the asking price. And speaking of asking price, Cordelia chooses this moment to enter the library. Hah! Actually, I shouldn't call Cordy a whore, because we have no proof that she's ever taken money for sex, but, well, [whiny voice] Xander started it. To make a painful scene mercifully short: Cordy asks Wes out to dinner. Buffy and Xander smirk; Wes wears a look that screams, "Oops, I crapped my pants!" Recovering, Wes suggests that the Slayers find the demon and have him lend them the books, "free of charge." He's a demon, Wes, not a freakin' library! Don't they teach you anything at Watcher University? Buffy thinks Faith would be good at persuading the demon. I'll agree, if by "persuading," Buffy actually means "letting her fists do the talkin'."
“ Angel corrects her, 'Not like me. I didn't have a choice. But you do.' And because I advertised this recap as 98 percent Spike-free, I'm not even gonna touch that 'I didn't have a choice' comment. See, I'm not touching it. I'm backing away slowly. ”
We see Chirpy in a dingy motel room, preparing to get the hell out of Dodge. He tosses some stuff into a suitcase and then dithers about what to do with a fish in a small fishbowl. When I was discussing this episode with Sep, I was all sad about how Chirpy's little pet fish had humanized him and underscored the grimness of how Faith handles him, but that cynical Sep suggested that the tiny pet was actually just his meal. ["Whatever. Fish are lame pets. Everyone knows they have no feelings." -- Sep] Folks, that's why she's evil and I'm just cranky. Faith crashes down the door and demands the books. When Chirpy asks if she brought the money, Faith responds by belting him across the face. Chirpy directs Faith to a pile of books on the bed and allows that the five-thousand-dollar fee might be negotiable. Muttering, "I don't like to haggle," Faith pulls out a knife and stabs Chirpy in the gut. Boy, I'll have to try that approach at the yard sale I attend. Seems to get results. She turns back to collect the books, but Chirpy grabs her leg and they end up struggling on the floor. Faith finally kills the demon dead. She sits up and stares with confusion at her bloody hands.
The mansion. Angel is reading, in very dim light, I might add. Maybe all the squinting this causes contributes to that furrowed brow and broody look of his. As he reads, mouth just barely forming the words, Faith enters the room behind him. When he turns to greet her, she tells him, "Look, I hate asking for help, but I'm asking, 'cause, uh, I'm in trouble." Angel seems concerned but not overly friendly; however, he does usher Faith into the room with an invitation to talk. As she wrings her hands, she tells him she's scaring herself, and references the little pep talk about the corrupting power of the dark side he gave her when he had her chained up in "Consequences." Holding up her bloody hands, she says, "It's not human if that's what you're thinking. Not that that makes me feel any better or this guy any less dead." Pulling her hands away from his, she backs away. Angel tells her she needs help, and they both sit down. Faith confesses she's scared of turning into a "cold-blooded straight-up killer like [Angel]." Shaking his head, Angel corrects her, "Not like me. I didn't have a choice. But you do." And because I advertised this recap as 98 percent Spike-free, I'm not even gonna touch that "I didn't have a choice" comment. See, I'm not touching it. I'm backing away slowly. Scared of ending up "dead or a loser," Faith starts to break down, worrying that it's "too late" for her. Well, you're not dead yet, and one out of two ain't bad, honey. She then throws her arms around Angel, who shushes her but then pushes her away. As they move apart, Faith attempts to kiss him. Ooopsie! Angel is flustered, but he very directly tells Faith that he's with Buffy. Withdrawing into herself, Faith glumly repeats, "Buffy." She tells Angel that he and Buffy are lucky to have each other, and gets his assurance that they're still friends. She jumps up to leave and softly tells Angel that it's nice just knowing someone cares. She then inquires, "Do you think if things were different that things between you and me would be different, too?" "We'll never know," replies Angel, which is honest and about as close as you can get to "no" without actually saying it. Faith kisses Angel on the cheek and leaves; as she goes, we see that Buffy is lurking in the shadows and has seen the parting kiss.