Abuse is bad, mmmkay?

S03E04

We open with a shot of the full moon. Then the camera moves quickly through the woods, as Buffy in voice-over recites a passage from The Call Of The Wild. Her voice changes into Willow's. She's in the library, reading the story to a werewolf we assume is Oz, who's locked in the cage across from Giles's office. Willow appears to be enjoying reading to Oz until she says the word "rabbit," at which he barks. Willow: "Maybe we should try a less stimulating passage." A sleepy-looking Xander arrives: "Private Harris reporting for Oz watch." He recognizes the book Willow's reading as the one he's "reading the Cliffs Notes for." You know, not that I haven't used Cliffs Notes in a jam, but I'm glad they never made us try to buy Xander going to college. Between his lack of brains and his lack of motivation, I wouldn't have been on board. Which makes me surprised that Marti Noxon didn't write an episode about it. Willow explains that the story is "very wolf-y" and soothing, "except for the parts about" -- she whispers -- "rabbits." Oz still hears her, and barks again. Willow tells Xander where Oz's clothes are, and explains that she put towels over the cage for privacy. Xander thinks he can handle the "Oz full Monty," and then predictably backpedals a bit so no one thinks he's gay. Hey, I'm just one gay man, but in my opinion, no one thinks you're gay because no one cares one way or the other. Willow says that the towels are for her, because she's still getting used to "half a Monty." Xander rather petulantly asks which half, and Willow coyly puts him off: "Wouldn't you like to know." Damn straight I would, Willow. So to speak. Oh, right, you were talking to Xander. Willow exposits that this is the first night of Oz's three-night werewolf cycle, and gives Xander a tranquilizer gun to use in case there's trouble. She thanks him, explaining that she wouldn't have asked but for a test she has the day, and he assures her that she can count on him. She leaves, and within ten seconds, he's lying face-down on a desk with his eyes closed. Jerk. Oz is growly.

Buffy and Faith patrol a graveyard. Faith wonders if Buffy has ever caught kids doing "the ditty" up here. The "ditty"? "Camptown Races"? "Leroy Brown"? That may not have been what she said, but I swear it's what I heard. Damn videotape. Anyway, I'm thinking Faith's more of an "I Touch Myself" kind of girl. Buffy says there's a "smooch spot" up by the woods, and Faith wonders if Buffy and Scott have been up there "kicking the gear shift." Buffy sniffs, "Hardly." I think Scott does drive stick, but that has nothing to do with Buffy. Buffy says they've only been on a few dates. Banter about whether Buffy gets a "down-low tickle" when she thinks about him. Buffy says that he's funny. Funny ha-ha? Or funny in that he's a better dancer and shopper than you? English is a funny language that way. See what I did there? Buffy says that her "most favorite" (and this is a girl who aces the SATs in a few episodes, people) thing about Scott is that he's "not some kind of hell-beast." Faith: "All men are beasts, Buffy." You know, I was hoping that the first anvil of this episode wouldn't come from Faith. With that Slayer strength, it really hurt. Faith continues, "Every guy from Manimal to Mr. 'I Love The English Patient' has beast in him. And I don't care how sensitive they act. They're all still just in it for the chase." You know, I didn't like The English Patient at all. Does that make me insensitive? Sars? ["Don't ask me. I'm so insensitive that I slept through most of it." -- Sars]

Cut to a teenage boy running through the woods. He's being pursued by something that's growling very menacingly. He trips and falls, and his pursuer grabs his feet and drags him away screaming. Credits.

Willow is saying that she disagrees with Faith's assessment of men as she, Oz, and Buffy walk up the school's outdoor staircase. We hear a "Hey, Buffy!" and Scott feys up to them, followed by a couple introduced to us as Debbie and Pete. Scott is wearing a yellow shirt. Do high school boys wear yellow? Debbie and Oz know each other, as she asks him, "You're not doing jazz band this year?" Oz says no, because of the marching, and Buffy wonders that there's a marching jazz band at all. Oz: "Since the best jazz is improvisational, we'd be going off in all directions, banging into floats -- scary." Willow: "He's just being Oz." Oz: "Pretty much full-time." So. Damn. Cute. Buffy compliments the flowers Debbie is holding, and Debbie announces that Pete got them for her. Pete, in the most smarmy-annoying voice possible, says to Buffy that he's sure Scott does that kind of thing for her. Scott nervously asks, "Are we up to flowers? Did I miss flowers?" Don't worry, Scott; you'll be getting plenty of flowers in the future, I'm sure. Buffy assures him that they're "pre-posy." Then Buffy checks the time and says that she has to go see Mr. Platt, the school counselor, one of the conditions for Buffy's return to school laid out by Principal Snyder in "Faith, Hope, and Trick." Debbie says that Mr. Platt creeps her out, and she only goes because she's failing senior bio and her teacher wants her to go. Didn't school just start? Oz tells her that he aced that final. Willow: "And how did you do that? Oh, right, you showed up." Aw. He offers to give her his notes. You know, it's been a long time since I was in high school. However, I'm betting it's been longer for Marti Noxon. So I'm baffled again -- do any high-school students actually keep their notes for a class they had the year? Sigh. It's Oz, though, and he can do no wrong in my eyes. Debbie is grateful for the notes. Buffy leaves, but not before she and Scott share the most chaste kiss since Darrin and Samantha on Bewitched. They show Scott with a look on his face like, "So that's what it's like to kiss a girl. Interesting. Now where's that Larry guy I've been hearing so much about?"

Library. Giles agitatedly tells Xander that they have to "recheck every possible exit avenue." Xander says he was in the library all night. They notice that Oz and Willow have entered, and Giles hilariously fails at playing it cool: "Right. It's good to see you. No need to panic." Oz: "Just a thought. Poker -- not your game." Hee. Willow is concerned, and Giles explains that a male student named Jeff Walken was found murdered in the woods, his body "terribly mauled." Giles fears it may be the handiwork of -- "me," Oz finishes for him. Xander thinks that's impossible until he realizes that the window inside the cage area is open. Xander assures them that all he did was rest his eyes a bit. Willow looks betrayed, and Giles seethes, "How long, exactly, did you 'rest your eyes' for?" He's ending sentences with prepositions, so you know he's steamed. Xander stutters that Oz was there in the morning when he -- "WOKE UP!" Giles barks. Oz and Willow look chagrined.

Buffy enters an office. We see a hand in the foreground, holding a cigarette. At this point I'm reminded of one of my favorite Ace lines, from her recap of "Innocence." To paraphrase a bit, since he's smoking, we can safely assume he falls into one of two categories -- "evil," or "not long for this world." Ah, the simplicity of TV. Thankfully, Dr. Pavone on Felicity was an exception to that rule. Without turning around, but not without smoking, he welcomes Buffy. She meekly says, "Buffy Summers, reporting for sanity." That line sends me into a giggling fit every time I hear it. She launches into a speech about how she doesn't want to talk about her life, nor does she want to be friends with him. Platt, played by Phill Lewis, turns in his chair, and says, "We're not gonna be friends." That's a relief, because Buffy's already very busy without having to go to your funeral. He continues that what she needs is a trained professional who will give her his honest opinion. I start giggling again as I imagine this conversation:

Buffy: So Scott and I have been out on like five dates, and nothing. I mean, it's not like I want to pull a Faith here, but a little action would be nice.
Mr. Platt: Well, what do you do together?
Buffy: Oh, normal stuff -- shop, go to the salon, see Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood. His idea.
Mr. Platt: I see. Did you ever think that he might be --
Buffy: Impotent? Yeah. But isn't he a little young for that?
Mr. Platt: Oh, dear. No, what I was thinking rhymes with "hay" but starts with "G."
Buffy: Scott's not gay! He's just sensitive. He brought Steel Magnolias over last night! It was so romantic!
Mr. Platt: Sweetie, denial is not just a river in Egypt.

Honest enough, don't you think? Platt invites her to sit down, then lectures her that everyone's a little crazy. He whacks us over the head by saying, "Everyone has demons." He assures her that she can change, and wants to know why she ran away. Buffy assures him that she's better, but he still wants to know the deal. She gives him the extreme Cliffs Notes version. See how I tie these things together? He draws out that Angel "changed," and surmises that he "got mean." He says that Buffy was lost in love, but for people who stay that way, "love becomes your master, and you're just its dog."

Buffy walks into the library, notices the gang's funereal mood, and says, "I'm afraid to ask." Cordy: "Oz ate someone last night." Considering everything that's happened in the last year, I'm expecting Buffy to start dancing a jig and asking, "That's it?" Xander feels the need to prove yet again that he's the most useless member of the group by babbling about werewolves and their victims. Buffy tries to rally the troops, and Giles hatches a plan; Buffy will patrol, he'll do some research, and Willow, Xander, and Cordy will check out the morgue to try to determine the nature of the killer. When asked what they should do about Oz, Giles suggests that Faith could watch him. Oz gets defensive that they're having a Slayer watch him, although I didn't hear any other suggestions. It's Oz, though. See above. He starts to leave, but Willow stops him. He gives a cute speech about his male need to bail, and Willow is sympathetic, but points out that it's nearly sunset. Oz bitterly but resignedly locks himself in the cage. He tells Willow to get away from the cage, because "it's gonna happen soon." Aw.

Buffy patrols the woods. We see a figure run by in the foreground, and then Buffy sees it too. She chases it, and it turns and knocks her down. She recovers to see that it's Angel, dirt and blood on his face, growling much like the killer in the earlier scene. He's wearing pants. Although I don't know how that happened, and I know some people are disappointed, I think it was worth not having Strega go permanently blind, so I'm not going to make an issue of it. Buffy stares at him, agape. Commercials.

The Waterboy. Adam Sandler playing a white-trash dimwit. Way to avoid typecasting.

Angel attacks Buffy. They both get in a few good shots before Buffy drops him with a spinning crescent kick and an elbow punch. Yes, I used to take karate. No, it wasn't because of this show. Entirely.

Willow, flashlight in hand, opens a refrigerator in the morgue. Creepy music plays as a figure approaches her from behind. She uncovers the body within, and gets supplies out of a Scooby-Doo lunch box. That is such a nice touch that my world is being turned upside-down. Marti Noxon did that? Perhaps if I choose to believe she got the idea from another writer...no, I'm afraid I'm going to have to give her some credit. Damn. Anyway, it was Xander behind her, and he's freaked at seeing the body. Then Cordy startles him, and he barks, "We're doing crime here! You don't sneak up during crime!" Heh. Cordy sees the body, covers her eyes, and yells, "Okay! Scarred for life!" I can't help flashing back to her dissecting a demon in an alley on Angel. Hee. They ask Willow if Oz is cleared, but she's not sure. She finishes up, and promptly faints dead away into Xander's arms. Xander and Cordy think it doesn't look good for Oz. Cordy: "This guy was ripped apart by a big, wild animal."

Cut to a quick shot of some very girlie dolls being knocked off a chest, which is then opened and rummaged through (by Buffy, even though you don't really see her). She grabs some manacles. Did she get those from Faith? Cut to the mansion, where she chains Angel to a rather rickety-looking metal support. He's regaining consciousness, and suddenly snarls and leaps at her, but is restrained. Buffy examines the floor where Angel landed after falling out of the air. The area surrounding his body was turned black. I have no idea why. Buffy is plainly shaken by Angel's animalistic noises and behavior.

Cut to another growling animal, Oz. Faith has a portable CD player turned up to eleven, and is dancing, her back to the library entrance. She looks great in a simple dark denim vest and shorts. Buffy comes up behind her. I giggle in anticipation. She taps Faith on the back, and Faith whirls and smacks her in the face. Ha! That cracked me up. Also, it's a nice little glimpse of their future fights, because Buffy is clearly hurt more from Faith's punch than from that of any vampire. Faith immediately apologizes, and Buffy explains that she came to give Faith the rest of the night off, because she "couldn't sleep." While that may be true, the sense behind it is Lie Number One in a long series over the three episodes. Faith jumps at the chance to patrol, and makes herself scarce. Buffy winces at Oz's growling (another nice touch. Damn damn!) and goes straight to the card catalogue.

Day. Oz lies naked and asleep on the floor of the cage area, although we only see his upper torso. Still, that's enough. You know, I have to rewind several times to recap these episodes. It's part of my job. Don't look at me like that. Giles comes in and casually unlocks the cage as he sips his coffee. That was cute. You know, I hate to admit it, but I'm actually liking this episode so far. But don't lose heart -- I'm sure Marti Noxon will find a way to let me down. Giles finds a sleeping Buffy with a couple of books around her. He picks one up as Buffy stirs. Buffy tries to say the books are Faith's, which is a pretty poor lie, especially considering that they're all about Acathla. Giles isn't buying it, and asks what's on her mind. She tells him that she had a dream about Angel -- more specifically, that he came back. I can just hear Willow in "Reptile Boy": "You're lying to Giles!" Giles empathizes -- he had similar dreams about Jenny after she died. Aw. Sniff. Buffy tells him how vivid the dream was, but denies that it might be prophetic. She wants to know if it's possible to return from a hell dimension, and he says that there's no record of anyone having done so "once the gates are closed." Does that mean there's a record of it when the gates were still open? "Honey, hold this gate open. I just want to have a quick look around the eighth plane of hell." There's some sloppy writing in this scene, and it really bugs me that Giles is stuck with most of it. But in the bigger picture, my world is starting to make a little more sense. Buffy wants to know, "hypothetically," what Angel would be like if he returned. Giles says that time moves differently there, and Buffy says, "I remember." Argh! How does Giles know that if no one has ever returned? And how do they know that the dimension Buffy was in has any relation to the one Angel was in? Buffy realizes that he would have been there for "hundreds of years of torture." Again, how do they know about the torture thing? And just because they said it in "Becoming" doesn't explain how they knew it. Buffy wonders if Angel would be a lost cause. Giles doesn't know, but opines that "it would take a person of extraordinary will and character to survive that and retain any semblance of self." And to think that in one short episode he'll be back to his mopey ways. I'm a little disappointed that Giles didn't read Buffy a little better here, but it's a minor complaint. Willow breaks the mood by coming in and offering everyone doughnuts. Willow wonders why Buffy's there, and says, "This time it's not your boyfriend who's the cold-blooded" -- she notices that Oz is now to her -- "jelly doughnut?" Ha! That was hard to transcribe, but it was hilarious. Buffy asks what Willow found at the morgue. Willow, too loudly: "Anyone? They're yummy delicious." That's the Willow I used to know and not hate. Willow says that her examination wasn't conclusive. Buffy is anxious to know whether it was a vampire, and her vehemence takes everyone aback. She apologizes, and Giles looks puzzled.

By Couch Baron

Pete more agitatedly wants to know what happened to the contents of the bottle. Debbie says she was trying to get rid of it, saying, "You know how you get," referring to when he drinks it. Pete says he's way past the stuff now, and starts breaking all the bottles. He grabs her and says, "All it takes now is your stupid, grating voice!" He starts yelling as his head snaps back and forth all Evil Dead-like, until his face is contorted and kind of burn-victim-y. He goes off on a diatribe about how he took the formula to be what she wanted, and she's paid him back by "whoring around with other guys and taunting him." She denies it, but he backhands her and throws her to the ground.

Okay, since this subplot is one big After-School Special, I'm going to preach a little myself. The message of this subplot seems to be that "abuse is bad." I totally agree. However, I don't care the slightest bit about these characters, and I don't think I or anyone else could be expected to. I mean, not only have they not been on the series before, they've barely been in this episode until now. I don't understand either of their motivations, and I wouldn't care to speculate on them without some better writing. I do appreciate that I was kept in suspense about the identity of the killer until now, but I think that end could have been accomplished without being attached to such a weak and preachy message. So if I make fun of these characters, don't think it's because I don't get that abuse is bad. That is all.

Pete's still hitting, ranting, telling Debbie that he killed Mr. Platt. "I am all you've got now, Debbie." Hmm, American Idol is on soon. Oh, sorry, I got bored there. Debbie cowers and whimpers, and suddenly Pete seems to snap out of it as he morphs back to his normal face. He pleadingly says that she shouldn't make him mad, and she holds him, saying, "It's okay." Argh. Can I buy that he has power over her? Yes. Would it be nice to have some idea why? Yes.

Library. Giles announces to Buffy, Willow, and Faith that Platt's killing, while brutal, took place shortly before Buffy found him. Faith, amazingly, is the brain trust of the group: "That means he was killed during the day." Willow: "Yes!" Hee. She apologizes for seeming insensitive about the killing, but Buffy's relieved that Oz (and Angel) are off the hook. They realize that Oz should be there already, as it's nearly sundown.

Cut to the courtyard, where Oz awaits Debbie. He starts to leave, but she comes running, apologizes for being late, and asks if he has the notes. Her hair is over her right eye, but Oz still notices that she has a shiner, and asks if she's okay and how she got hurt. She smiles, hems and haws, and finally comes up with "doorknob." Doorknob? What was she doing, practicing her technique? Oh, that was really crass. I'm so sorry. Except for the "sorry" part. We now see that Pete is watching them from a distance, and as Oz puts his hand on Debbie's shoulder, Pete does not look pleased. Oz says that if Debbie ever needs to talk, he's there, but she just leaves, thanking him for the notes.

Giles tells the group that they're looking for a "depraved, sadistic animal." Oz, who's just walked in: "Present. Hey, I may be a cold-blooded jelly doughnut, but my timing's impeccable." BWA HA HA! Willow eagerly tells him that he's cleared, and he's thrilled. Giles is happy as well, but directs their attention to trying to find a connection between the two murders. Oz, his meeting with Debbie fresh in his mind, figures it's her. According to Oz, Debbie and Jeff Walken were in jazz band together, and "used to horse around." Faith: "They were screwing?" Oz: "I -- don't think so, but he hid her music comp book once." Another great moment. Help! Buffy knows that Debbie knew Platt, and they quickly deduce that Pete is the killer. They split up into two teams to look for Debbie and Pete: Giles and Faith, and Buffy and Willow. Man, I know which team I want to be on. Oz locks himself in the cage.

Girls' bathroom. Debbie applies make-up to her shiner. Buffy and Willow enter, and Buffy's on Debbie like white on rice. Buffy tells her that people are dying, and Debbie starts making excuses and blaming herself. Willow thinks that the killer had to be an animal, but Buffy figures it out: "Pete's not like other guys, is he, Debbie?" Well, if she's practicing on a doorknob, he's sure not like any of the guys I know. Debbie tries to leave, but Buffy and Willow aren't having it. Buffy says, "We're running out of time."

Cut to a sweaty (?) Angel, struggling against his chains. The metal support breaks, and he's out of there.

Bathroom. Debbie says she doesn't know where Pete is, but Buffy thinks she's lying. Debbie: "What if I am? What are you gonna do about it?" Willow, and me: "Wrong question." Buffy grabs Debbie and shoves her in front of one of the mirrors and forces her to look at her eye. She tells Debbie that Pete doesn't love her if he could hurt her like he did. Debbie wonders if they'd take him away, and says, "I could never do that to him. I'm his everything." Sigh. Buffy: "So while you two live out your grim fairy tale, two people are dead." I read the completely unabridged and uncensored Grimm's Fairy Tales when I was a kid. I positively loved them. I think it explains a lot. Buffy continues, "Who's gonna be ?"

Oz, in his cage. Pete appears: "Since when do you touch my girl?" Oz tries to get him to leave before he wolfs out, but Pete's the one doing the morphing right now. Commercial.

Antz. Aw.

Pete rips the cage door off. How strong is this guy? I mean, we know that door can hold a werewolf (this episode) or a vampire ("Doppelgangland"). I'm just sayin'. Anyway, he throws Oz out of the cage.

Debbie's broken-recording to herself, "He does love me." Buffy's had enough and turns to go. Willow tries to bring Debbie, who now doesn't even seem aware of their presence. Willow: "I think we broke her." Buffy: "I think she was broken already." So am I, thanks to the huge anvil that just landed on my head.

Pete is throwing Oz around like a rag doll until Oz manages to kick him away. Oz stands with a small, satisfied smile as he sees the sun has set. "Time's up," he growls. "Rules change." Pete looks shocked as Oz morphs. They wrestle, and Oz draws blood as Pete screams. Hearing this, the gang rushes into the library. Buffy grabs the tranquilizer gun and moves to shoot Pete, but Debbie appears out of nowhere and pushes the gun, causing Buffy to hit Giles instead. Giles, as he passes out: "Right. Bloody priceless." It totally was, too. In the confusion, Oz runs out. Buffy hands the gun off to Faith, and she and Willow go in pursuit. Debbie disappears as Buffy takes Pete on. He throws a bookshelf down on top of her, and takes the opportunity to flee. Rounding a corner, he climbs up onto a bank of lockers and out a small window, smearing some blood on the wall as he goes. Buffy loses him.

Willow and Faith, still pursuing Oz.

Debbie's waiting for Pete in his lab. He's still Mr. Hyde-ed out. She throws her arms around him, and takes credit for stopping Buffy shooting him. Boy, sister, if you could take that back. He doesn't hug her back, and looks bored. I can relate. Debbie tells him to get out of Sunnydale, because "she knows." We all know how this is going to end; Pete blames Debbie for the whole mess, and moves in for the kill.

Faith is still on Oz. He turns and attacks her, and she yells and Willow screams.

Buffy finally sees the blood and follows it. She finds Debbie, dead, and then Pete jumps her.

Faith and Oz wrestle. Willow pulls his tail and runs, and he goes after her. Faith calmly picks up the gun and shoots. It's dream journal time.

Pete's whaling on Buffy. "You're all the same! All the same!" Groan. Buffy kicks him away, and as he reels, the door opens and we hear a vamp growl. It is, of course, Angel, vamp face and all. He and Pete start duking it out. Pete throws Angel aside and turns to go after Buffy, but Angel wraps his chains around Pete's neck, grabs hold, and snaps. Flash away, then back to show that Pete's face has reverted to normal. Angel, panting (?), turns to look at Buffy. He approaches her, and morphs back to his human visage. Wow, he looks even dopier than usual. He tries to speak, and comes out with, "Buffy?" He falls to his knees, crying, and repeats her name as he hugs her. Buffy looks skyward, wondering if this is a good thing. She's crying, too.

By Couch Baron

Cut to a sweaty (?) Angel, struggling against his chains. The metal support breaks, and he's out of there.

By Couch Baron

Oz, in his cage. Pete appears: "Since when do you touch my girl?" Oz tries to get him to leave before he wolfs out, but Pete's the one doing the morphing right now. Commercial.

Antz. Aw.

Willow and Faith, still pursuing Oz.

By Couch Baron

Faith is still on Oz. He turns and attacks her, and she yells and Willow screams.

Buffy finally sees the blood and follows it. She finds Debbie, dead, and then Pete jumps her.

Faith and Oz wrestle. Willow pulls his tail and runs, and he goes after her. Faith calmly picks up the gun and shoots. It's dream journal time.

School. The gang is walking around the courtyard and discussing the rumors flying around about the deaths. Cordy has no idea what happened, and asks for the story. This part is very boring, and we already basically know what happened, so I'm going to skip it. I try to look out for you people. Buffy sees Scott looking forlorn, or at least a little less blank than usual, and goes to him. Cordy: "Great. Now I'm going to be stuck with serious thoughts all day." Willow, Oz, and Xander all exchange a knowing smile. It was cute. Argh!

Buffy sits with Scott. She doesn't know what to say. Scott monotones that he was friends with both of them since before they started school, but that he's going to be okay. "It's just, you never really know what's going on inside somebody, do you. You think, if you care about them...but you never really do." Wow, two anvils weigh a lot more than one. Buffy looks guilty.

We flash to the opening shot of the camera moving through the woods. Buffy recites another passage from The Call Of The Wild, and we cut to the mansion, where a worried Buffy is watching Angel sleep fitfully. "'Yet he retained his wildness and wiliness, and from the depths of the forest, the call still sounded.'" I guess they're right that anvils come in threes.

That being said, I didn't hate this episode. Is it because Marti Noxon occasionally does things right? Or am I just going soft? You make the call.