Linda Blair She Ain't

S02E08

We start right in with the fast-paced music of Something Wicked This Way Comes. A middle-aged goateed man with a silver suitcase walks urgently toward the camera. He's on the Sunnydale High campus. A member of the custodial staff appears and asks the man if he needs help. In a British accent, the man says he needs to see Rupert Giles. The custodian directs him to the library, and the Brit takes off. The custodian snits: "You're welcome." Remember that, kids: Observing social niceties may save you from a horrifying death in the Jossverse. I suppose I'd better say, "Please remember that. Thank you for your consideration." Brit Dude heads for the back entrance to the library when he hears a noise. They do that standard horror thing where he looks back, then forward, then back, then forward, then zzzzz. When I wake up, a shadowed female figure is standing near him. She steps forward to reveal that she looks like one of the undead creatures from the video for "Thriller." Also, her eyes glow briefly. Brit Dude asks, "Dierdre?" She rasps in response, "Philip." Too late for the niceties. Let's get with the killing! Zombie Dierdre advances. Philip falls trying to get away, then staggers to the back door and starts banging on it. I'd point out that I don't see any evidence that Zombie Dierdre can actually run, but I've already mentioned why Philip is doomed, so there's no sense belaboring the point.

Inside the library, Buffy is aerobicizing to some wordless dance music. Giles holds his head in pain, and asks if they could turn off the noise. Buffy corrects him that it's music. Giles yells, "Music has notes. This is noise." Buffy refuses to listen. Giles: "Wonderful. You work on your muscle tone while my brain dribbles out of my ears." Outside, as the first crocuses herald the advent of spring, Dierdre finally reaches Philip, and starts choking him. Sensing that an ill-mannered brute has been taught his lesson, Buffy turns the music off. Giles happily breathes, "And the rest is silence," which is a meta-shout-out to the Buffy movie. Philip achieves a silence of his own as Dierdre snaps his neck, and he falls. She collapses to him, then dissolves into a puddle of bluish goo. Credits.

We see a blur of images centering on some dude who looks like a younger Kiefer Sutherland in hippie attire. It looks like he's involved in a ritual of some sort. Well, there are a lot of candles, at least. Someone tattoos a mark onto a forearm. Aggressive music plays as the dude says, "Eyghon," and that it's time to go to sleep. Soon, he screams. Giles wakes up and looks shaken. There's a big empty space in the bed to him. What a shame.

By Couch Baron

School. Buffy and Willow are playing a game of "Anywhere But Here." Buffy describes getting a foot massage from Gavin Rossdale. Boy, they really were young back then. Willow describes being seated with John Cusack in a Florentine restaurant. Well, she gets points for aesthetics, at least. Buffy compliments her imagination as Xander joins them. Upon learning what they're playing, he contributes, "Amy Yip at the waterslide park." Ew ew ew. And also, ew. I think I could market a Xander/Amy Yip diet -- I know if I looked at a picture of them every day, I wouldn't be able to hold down solid food for the rest of my life. Yuck. Willow notes that he never changes his fantasy, but he says he's just not fickle like they are. I can't comment on that, as I haven't put enough distance between that vomitrocious mental image and myself. All right -- I'm going to try to soldier on through the chills and sweats. Seeing Giles approach, I start to relax, and Willow asks if they think Giles ever played the game. Xander opines that Giles lived for school. "He's actually still bitter that there were only twelve grades." Buffy: "He probably sat in math class thinking, 'There should be more math. This could be mathier.'" Hee. Willow wonders if he didn't ever get restless, but Buffy, with finality, says that "his diapers were tweed." She calls him over, and asks if he's wearing tweed, which of course he is. That was cheap. Heh. He starts to tell her that "tonight is very important" as they head inside.

He goes on that a medical transport is delivering a monthly supply of blood to the hospital, that they should meet outside at 8:30, and that she shouldn't be late. Buffy: "Have I ever let you down?" Giles: "Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare?" Maybe you should save the glaring for Irony, since he's about to bite you in the ass. Miss Calendar arrives with a "Morning, England." England's brain typically turns to treacle upon seeing her, and Willow says, "Feel the passion," which means that Foreshadowing is in a very cruel mood indeed. Miss Calendar warningly says Willow's name, then asks if they're on for tomorrow. Willow acknowledges that. Xander asks what's going on the day, and Miss Calendar explains that Willow's helping her conduct a review session on computer basics for a couple of lagging students. Xander: "Those poor schlubs have to attend school on a Saturday." Miss Calendar: "Nine AM okay with you, Xander?" That was cheap too. Hee. Buffy: "You got a bit of schlub on your shoe there." Of course he does -- the shoe's attached to the rest of him, isn't it? Miss Calendar adds that Cordelia will be there, and Xander proclaims that if you throw in "rectal surgery," it's his dream day. Insert "butt monkey" joke here. Giles and Miss Calendar walk off together. Willow: "Can't you just imagine them getting together?" The kids smile, but their faces quickly reset to "ew." Hee. Pretty realistic reaction for sixteen-year-olds, although I wish Buffy had shut up about it by the time she got to college.

By Couch Baron

Miss Calendar thanks Giles for "loaning" her a Forrester book, which gets my usage hackles up. And don't email me telling me the usage is correct; I know the verb "to loan" is acceptable in this situation nowadays, but I just don't like it. At least it only replaces "to lend" in actual physical transactions. I mean, can you imagine "Friends, Romans, countrymen! Loan me your ears!" Blech. And I'm sorry if you're bored with my grammatical ruminations, but the fact is that picturing Amy Yip and Xander in the waterslide park caused my brain to dribble out of my ears, so me finishing this recap in any kind of coherent manner will be tantamount to that monkeys/typewriters/works of Shakespeare thing.

Typing Monkeys: We are so sick of people talking about us like that.
Couch Baron: Whoa! I didn't think you guys actually existed.
Typing Monkeys: Well, we do, and we're sick of being disrespected all the time. I mean, how would you like it if people said, "Given enough time, the Couch Baron will actually write a funny recap"?
Couch Baron I guess I wouldn't really like that at all. I'm sorry.
Typing Monkeys: Well, maybe we'll forgive you. What are you writing now?
Couch Baron: It's an idea for a novel. It starts out, "It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times."
Typing Monkeys: You really aren't funny. You know that, right?

You see what has happened to my brain? Anyway, the typing monkeys are going to keep an eye on me for the rest of the recap. Giles tells Miss Calendar that the edition he lent her belonged to his father. Miss Calendar says she usually dog-ears pages she wants to reread, but she did that so many times that she just started underlining passages in Giles's book. Giles reacts to this with mounting horror, and when he hears that Miss Calendar spilled coffee all over it, manages to utter that it's a first edition. Miss Calendar catches up to even the typing monkeys and me when she tells him that she's joking. She gives back the book, and declares that she just loves to see him squirm. She goes on that he's a fuddy-duddy, but a sexy one at that. I was just saying the same...whoops. More flirting ensues, and ordinarily I'd be annoyed, but as long as it's not Xander and Amy Yip, I'm five by five. Even when Giles and Miss Calendar basically make a date to dance the horizontal mambo, I'm cool. They lean in. The bell rings, but they go through with a quick kiss before the hallway starts filling with students. They keep saying that their date is for "Saturday." The monkeys type, "Don't they mean 'tomorrow'?"

Giles enters the library to find some police officers awaiting him. The leader, a no-nonsense officer who, as Omar would say, just happens to be black and female, greets him by name, and tells him he'll have to come down to the station. Giles asks why. No-Nonsense Officer informs him of the homicide on campus, and says that while Philip had no identification, he was carrying a slip of paper with Giles's name and address on it. Giles is flustered. Cordy enters the library, blathering about the computer review session and a book she needs for it. Giles points out the police officer, but Cordy takes the opportunity to ask her for help with a ticket. "It was a one-way street. I was going one way!" Heh. Giles barks her name, and she defensively asks why everyone does that, as she can take a hint. Getting no help, she asks what the hint is. Giles seethes, "To come back later." You don't think Cordy can get the last word in this exchange, do you? Oh, ye of little faith! Cordy: "Yeah, when you've visited decaf land." Hee! She leaves. Giles asks No-Nonsense Officer where he needs to go.

Morgue. An employee opens a freezer and asks Giles if he ate breakfast. The answer is no, and the guy says that was a good idea. Leave the morgue humor to Six Feet Under, dude. He uncovers Philip's corpse, which is covered in nasty-looking contusions. Giles identifies Philip as a friend from London, but says they hadn't spoken to each other in twenty years. No-Nonsense Officer asks if Giles can think of any reason why Phillip would want to contact him. Staring at Philip's arm, which bears the same tattoo that Giles saw in his dream, he says no. No-Nonsense Officer picks up on that, and asks if he knows the significance of the tattoo. Giles answers in the negative. No-Nonsense Officer doesn't look convinced, but we don't see her again, so who cares?

Hospital parking lot. Buffy complains to herself that Giles is late. A van pulls up, and two doctors come out to greet the driver. Buffy: "All's well that ends with cute ER doctors, I always say." I think Sars would agree, since I've seen the pictures she has on her refrigerator. However, Buffy immediately realizes that her motto is flawed, as she muses to herself that doctors don't usually take deliveries. Wouldn't the van driver have noticed the change in procedure? The van pulls away, and the driver of a heretofore hidden convertible turns on its lights and pulls into the center of the lot. The driver's in vamp face, as now are the two "doctors." One of the "doctors" bites open a bag, but the driver admonishes him not to sample the "product." So they're...selling it? Whatever. Buffy rushes them. She's doing well, but is nonetheless relieved when Angel comes out of nowhere to join her. Buffy stakes the two "doctors," while Angel kicks the driver back into the car. The driver takes the opportunity to peel out of the lot. Buffy checks on the cooler filled with blood packets, and asks Angel how he knew about it. Angel tells her that everyone, by which I assume he means every vamp, knows about it. She asks if he can make sure the hospital gets it. She at least raises her eyebrows to acknowledge that he might have some difficulty just handing over so much blood. And why was he there, anyway? To protect it, but maybe steal a packet or two for himself? Didn't he have a few of those packets in his refrigerator in "Angel"? Anyway, he agrees, and she says she's worried about Giles, as he was supposed to be there. Angel: "Maybe he's late." "Maybe"? Sometimes Angel really isn't the brightest star in the heavens. "Sometimes"? Okay, you got me. Buffy points out that Giles counts tardiness as "the eighth deadly sin," and Angel agrees that she should check up on him. Well, now you've caught up too, Dead Boy. The Typing Monkeys mutter, "Who's that idiot?"

Buffy knocks on Giles's door. He answers, looking like hell, and says that it's late, but asks if she's all right. She snits that she could ask the same of him, but he tells her he can't talk, and starts to close the door. She reminds him about the blood delivery, but he makes excuses and closes the door. Buffy looks worried. Inside, Giles is on the phone to someone in England, apologizing for calling at five AM Greenwich time. So Giles considers nine o'clock on a Friday night "late"? Giles tells the callee that he's trying to reach Dierdre Page, but quickly learns that she died recently. He murmurs his condolences, and hangs up, looking panicked. He takes a shot of a stiff drink (and he's got the bottle on the desk, so we know he's not kidding around), then crosses Dierdre's name off a list. The other crossed-off names are Philip and a "Thomas Sutcliffe," who I assume must have summoned Eyghon soon before the start of the episode. The remaining names belong to Ethan Rayne (yay!) and Giles himself. Giles takes off his tie and goes into the bathroom. He rolls up his sleeves, revealing a tattoo just like Philip's on his left bicep. He splashes his face and regards his image in the mirror, menacing at it, "So. You're back." It's very creepy, and I half-expect him to drive his head into the mirror and start looning, "How's Annie?" over and over. Now that's the way to end a show, folks.

Morgue, at night. Philip's hand reaches up and pulls the sheet off his face. His eyes glow like Dierdre's did earlier. Ostensibly the morning, the lights are on, and the "ha ha...not" mortician checks the freezers. He opens Philip's, but it's empty. Philip throws his sheet over the mortician's head, and shoves him in the freezer. Who's laughing now? Not the typing monkeys, who just lit cigarettes and are looking pretty bored. Something better happen soon. There's an extended shot of Philip walking, his nether regions barely obscured by a table, but I'm okay. Why? It ain't Amy Yip and Xander.

School. Cordy's complaining about the whole school on a Saturday thing. It's just her and Xander getting tutored, by the way. That's pretty ludicrous. Everyone tiredly blathers about computers and their uses, and I already recapped "I Robot, You Jane," so I'm skipping it. Miss Calendar's about to close the door, but Buffy appears. Xander: "Did I fall asleep already?" Cordy, the Typing Monkeys, and me: Eye-roll. Buffy tells Miss Calendar that she's worried about Giles. When she mentions that she thinks he was drinking, Miss Calendar is wigged, because the only things worse than drinking at home, apparently, are smoking and not saying "thank you." Xander: Irrelevant and unamusing speech. To be fair, they're not giving him much to do this episode. Buffy asks if anyone's noticed anything strange, and no one has, until Cordy pipes up that Giles seemed normal when the police were in the library the day. Everyone stares, and Buffy asks why she didn't say something earlier. Cordy snots that she didn't think it was important. Xander: "We understand. It wasn't about you." Heh. When Cordy reveals that they were there about a homicide, everyone's aghast, probably because Cordy wasn't actually in the library when Officer No-Nonsense uttered the word "homicide." The Typing Monkeys also point out that it's ridiculous that even Cordelia wouldn't think Giles being involved in a homicide investigation would be important. I give them some bananas, and they look happy for the first time. Buffy says she's going to call Giles. She enters the library, but sees a shadow in the stacks, and goes to investigate. Ethan pushes a bookshelf toward her, but she deftly rolls out of the way and grabs him. She places him from the costume shop, and petulantly tells him that he almost got them all killed. Ethan: "But you looked great." She clocks him in the jaw. He asks if they're even. Buffy: "I'll let you know when we're even." Ethan's looking pretty damn good here, I must say. Buffy threatens him with calling the police, but Ethan smirks that the police will have questions that only Giles can answer, and tells Buffy that he and Giles go way back. Slash-fic writers smirk to themselves and wipe the drool off their faces. He goes on, "Don't happen to know where he is, do you?"

Dream-vision. We see a quick flash of a demon that's got the cutest widdle floppy ears! The rest of him's pretty ugly, though, and covered in large blue spots. A man screams, and a phone rings. Giles wakes up from being passed out on his desk (that's never, ever happened to me) and discovers that his phone is actually ringing. It's Buffy, and he dismisses her again. Buffy: "What's the Mark of Eyghon?" Giles gapes. Ethan snarks, "Cat got his tongue?" Ethan's got his left sleeve rolled up to reveal his tattoo. Buffy tells Giles about Ethan. Giles responds that she's in grave danger as long as she's around him, and that she should get out of the library. I can believe he's not thinking clearly, but wouldn't he want Buffy to protect Ethan? I find it hard to believe that he would just let Eyghon have a clear shot at him. Anyway, Philip comes crashing through the window. Ethan stands behind Buffy and grabs her by the shoulders. Hee. He's such an unapologetic weasel. Giles hears the commotion, and leaves his apartment. Buffy faces off with Philip. Ethan starts for the door, but the Scoobs enter. Buffy tells them not to let him get away. Ethan easily gets by Xander (the Typing Monkeys stop munching on their bananas long enough to ask what happened to his soldier training), but Cordy instinctively knee-kicks him, and he goes down. Heh. Philip advances on Buffy, but she feints one way, then kicks him into the cage and locks the door.

Soon after, Ethan's in a chair, not tied up as you might expect. Willow nervously observes that Philip "looks dead." Ethan confirms that. "Sorry, Philip." Hee. Giles bursts in, and asks if everyone is all right. Cordy brightly says that she kicked a guy. Miss Calendar is standing right by the cage for no reason at all. I mean, does she need a "please don't touch the nasty blue-skinned zombie" sign on the cage door? Giles steps in farther and gets a good look at Philip, then turns to face Ethan, who greets him as Ripper. Giles menaces that Ethan was supposed to leave town. Cordy: "Why did he call him 'Ripper'?" Giles roughly grabs Ethan by the hair on the back of his head. Cordy: "Ohh." Hee. Giles seethes that Ethan has put people he cares about in danger. Ethan: "If you cared so much about them, why didn't you leave town?" Good point. Ethan goes on that he's been having "the dreams," and Giles must have been having them too. Buffy wants to know what's happening, and Ethan challenges Giles to tell her. However, Philip busts open the cage door, knocking Miss Calendar in the head, and comes at Buffy again. She boots him to the ground. He gets up, but is suddenly overcome by something, and drops and dissolves just as Dierdre did earlier. Everyone's grossed out. Cordy: "I'm gonna be in therapy till I'm thirty." You really think three weeks will do the trick? Buffy realizes that Ethan has disappeared. Inexplicably, Giles has let Miss Calendar lie on the floor long enough for the blue goo to touch her hand, which twitches. Then he helps her up. Cordy says sadly: "This is what happens when you have school on Saturday." Hee. If only Paul Gleason had learned that lesson. Miss Calendar rests her head on Giles's shoulder, but then opens her eyes, which glow for the audience.

Typing Monkeys: How dumb do they think we are?
Couch Baron: I know. Like the goo and the hand twitch weren't enough.
Typing Monkeys: We could write a shooting script better than this in ten minutes, blindfolded.

Miss Calendar says that her head is "throbbing," as Buffy comes back in and tells him she lost Ethan. She asks what's going on, but Giles declares that it's "private." Buffy, admirably resisting the urge to slap him, asks him again what the Mark of Eyghon is, but he snaps at her and drags Miss Calendar off. Buffy steels her jaw and tells the Scoobs they have work to do. She sends Willow to the computer and Xander to check out Giles's personal files. Cordy hops down from the counter with a friendly and expectant smile. Buffy: Blank stare. Cordy pipes up that she cares about Giles too, so Buffy tells her to help Xander. Cordy: "Well, when I say 'care,' I mean..." Buffy's not amused, and Cordy comes around.

Chez Giles. Miss Calendar thanks him for bringing her there, as she's not ready to be home alone yet. Actually, if I've been following the timeline correctly, it's about time to start playing Watcher and Servant, if you know what I mean. You should see the effect Depeche Mode has on Giles. Also, Miss Calendar's drinking, so she must be evil. Giles apologizes for getting her hurt, and says that he should bring her home, as he's not safe to be around. I know I shouldn't find that sexy. Miss Calendar doesn't seem worried, and really, why would she be, even if she weren't housing a floppy-eared demon?

Willow has a breakthrough about the Mark: Eyghon, also called the "Sleepwalker," can only exist in this reality by possessing an unconscious host. Temporary possession gives the host a high; permanent possession is less pleasant, leading to Eyghon being "born from within the host." Is that like Alien? Willow goes on that, once called, Eyghon can take possession of the dead, but its demonic energy soon disintegrates the host, and it must "jump" to the nearest dead or unconscious person to continue to exist in this plane. The kids quickly figure out that Eyghon must have jumped to Miss Calendar.

Jeneyghon pulls the phone wire out of the wall. Giles, in the kitchen, asks what the noise was, but she claims not to have heard anything. He gives her a cup of tea, and says that after she drinks it, he'll drive her home. Miss Calendar has a better idea: hot monkey love.

Typing Monkeys: "Hot monkey love"? Where?
Couch Baron: Um, it's just an expression.
Typing Monkeys: You'd better watch it with those. We're not kidding.
Couch Baron: It's just a little monkeyshine.
Typing Monkeys: Okay, that does it. You must be punished.
Couch Baron: Oh yeah! Do your blurst!
Typing Monkeys: We're gonna tie you up and put an Amy Yip movie on continuous playback.
Couch Baron: NOOOOOOO!

By Couch Baron

Typing Monkeys: How dumb do they think we are?
Couch Baron: I know. Like the goo and the hand twitch weren't enough.
Typing Monkeys: We could write a shooting script better than this in ten minutes, blindfolded.

Okay, I'm back. In the library, Willow asks Xander if he found anything, and he shows her a picture of Giles with long hair, a biker jacket, and a bass guitar. He looks much younger in the photo -- I wonder if that's a real photo of ASH from an earlier time. At the apartment, Giles is giving Buffy the back story, which I'll make as short as possible. He was twenty-one, and he rebelled against his Watcher calling by leaving Oxford, going to London, and falling in with a bad crowd. They experimented with minor magicks until he and Ethan discovered Eyghon and introduced him to the rest of the group. One of them would go into a deep sleep, and the others would summon Eyghon to possess him or her temporarily. It was a great high, until Eyghon succeeded in completely taking over one of them. The others tried to exorcise Eyghon, but they killed their friend in the process. Buffy, stunned, looks away, and I gotta say, between this episode and "Lie To Me," I can't blame her if her faith in other people is a little shaken. ["Neither can I...but on the other hand, wouldn't it have struck her that Giles hasn't, to this point in the series, given her any guff about the Angel thing? Wouldn't she have wondered about that?" -- Sars] Giles says that he thought they were free of the demon after that, but he was obviously wrong, and that Eyghon will kill Ethan and him. Buffy decides to go protect Ethan, although I'm not sure why leaving Giles is such a great plan. Giles forlornly says he doesn't know how to stop Eyghon without killing Miss Calendar, but Buffy says the gang is working on it. Giles sadly says he's sorry, and Buffy grimly says she knows.

Shot of the main drag. Buffy enters Ethan's shop, saying that she knows everything, and that Eyghon is coming for him. There are a bunch of rather developed mannequins around, which makes me vaguely wonder what the trick Ethan had up his sleeve was. Ethan emerges from the shadows, noting that Buffy's come to protect him. Buffy says not to take it personally. Ethan says that if they run, Eyghon will find them, but Buffy says she's not much for running anyway. Ethan: "Aren't we manly." Buffy: "One of us is." Burn. Buffy says they'll hole up in the back. Ethan gallantly offers to let her go first. When she does, he somewhat less gallantly clocks her in the back of the head with a piece of wood. Buffy, you're making Angel look bright here, and that ain't easy.

By Couch Baron

Typing Monkeys here. The Couch Baron's going to be indisposed for the rest of the recap, but we'll show him by finishing it. We'll give him "blurst of times." Buffy gets off the phone and says that there was no answer at Miss Calendar's and Giles's phone is out of order. She leaves to go over to Giles's place. Shouldn't Cordy, like, drive you?

Giles awkwardly tries to hold Jeneyghon off, claiming that he'd be taking advantage of her, but she sits on his lap and kisses him. He shoves her away, saying it wouldn't be right. She looks bored with this little game, and we know how she feels. She says that he doesn't change. "You're like a woman, Ripper. You cry at every funeral." We don't think that characterization jives with that of "Band Candy" at all, but we're just typing monkeys. Jeneyghon goes on that Giles doesn't deserve her, but regardless, "you've got me" -- her voice goes deep and electronic -- "under your skin!" She kisses him, and when she pulls away, her face is a combination of Miss Calendar's and the floppy-eared demon's. Jeneyghon starts tossing Giles around like a rag doll, but Buffy enters and jump-kicks her. Jeneyghon starts back toward Giles, but a challenge from Buffy causes him? her? it? to reconsider, probably because it realizes that Ethan doesn't currently have a Slayer guarding him. Jeneyghon sneers, "Three down, two to go," which is another unfortunate bit of titular foreshadowing. Hee. "Titular." Hey, we're monkeys. What do you expect? Jeneyghon tells Giles, "Be seein' ya," which is nice continuity from "Halloween." It goes crashing out the window. Buffy attends to Giles, who's in a panic. Buffy tries to snap him out of it, and he says he's sorry. Buffy: "Don't be sorry, be Giles!" She goes on that fighting monsters is what they do, but Giles says this is different. Buffy asks if that's because he doesn't know how to stop it. Giles: "Because I created it!" Didn't see that one coming, did you, Buffy?

Couch Baron: And speaking of not seeing something coming...
Typing Monkeys: How did you get untied?
Couch Baron: My boyfriend here was kind enough to help me. We're going to give you a little payback.
Typing Monkeys: We're not scared of you.
Couch Baron: You will be. We're gonna tie you up and make you watch Gorillas In The Mist.
Typing Monkeys: NOOOOOO!

In his apartment, Giles drops his copy of Psychic Plot Contrivances And You, and gets a vision. He sees the scene in Ethan's shop, and bolts.

Ethan, bandaging his arm, starts to say his goodbyes, but we hear a humming, and a figure approaches the door, bathed in green light. The door opens, and it's Jeneyghon, now complete with blue spots and floppy ears. Something tells me it's not going to be the Furby. It looks at Ethan and says, "It's your time." However, right before it gets to him, it sniffs the air. Its eyes glow again, then it shoves Ethan aside and turns to Buffy. Here's a question: If the tattoos attract Eyghon, why didn't they all just remove them at some point in the last twenty years? Just a thought. Anyway, Buffy manages to sever the rope just in time. She and Jeneyghon fight for a bit until Giles bursts in. He tells Jeneyghon to take him. Boy, you just don't know when the date's over, do you, pal? Jeneyghon advances on him. Buffy tries to intervene, but Jeneyghon telekinetically tosses her aside and grabs Giles. It's about to kill him when Angel comes running in, grabs Jeneyghon, and starts choking it. Willow, Xander, and Cordy join the party. Giles protests that Angel will kill Miss Calendar, but Willow says to trust her. Eyghon jumps into Angel's body, and a demon pissing contest ensues. Miss Calendar falls to the floor, back to her normal visage. The effects from the fight are actually pretty cool, with Angel's face rippling and morphing between his own and Eyghon's, until Eyghon's image protrudes a bit and disintegrates. Angel collapses, and the kids rush over to him. Giles and Jenny say each other's names. Behind them, Ethan stealths an escape. You'd think they would have anticipated that by now. I pause Gorillas In The Mist to let Buffy give the plot wrap-up both to the Typing Monkeys and the slower members of the audience. Angel gets to his feet, saying that the demon inside him was just itching for a good fight. The kids notice that Ethan is gone. Cordy: "At least it's over." In a nice un-anvilicious moment, Buffy and Angel look in Giles and Miss Calendar's direction without saying anything like, "No it's not." Giles helps Miss Calendar out the door.

School. Buffy complains that she was saving up for some shoes, and now she has to spend that money to get the tattoo, which she has covered up with a thin scarf, removed. Xander compliments Willow on the Angel idea. Willow modestly says that she wasn't sure it would work. Xander suggests that Willow has the makings of a Watcher, but she says she couldn't handle the pressure, and she doesn't know how Giles does it. Buffy: "I don't think he has a choice." Inside, Giles calls after Miss Calendar, who stops and greets him with a guarded smile. He says that he tried to call her, but she says she left her phone off the hook, as she's been needing a lot of sleep lately. He asks if she's all right, and she says yes, but then amends that: "I mean, I'm not running around, wind in my hair, 'the hills are alive with the sound of music' fine, but...I'm coping." Her voice breaks the tiniest bit at the end there. It's touching, although I feel the urge to break into a rousing chorus of "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Miss Calendar?" ["Ooh, ooh, I know this one!" -- Sars] Giles says he'd like to help, and suggests that they could talk sometime over dinner or a drink. Miss Calendar agrees to "sometime," but when Giles reaches for her, she pulls away, repeats, "Sometime," and goes to class. Aw. The blocking is such that when Miss Calendar leaves, we can see that Buffy is worriedly waiting to talk to Giles.

By Couch Baron

Buffy comes to lying facedown on a table, below which her hands are bound. Ethan has a tray of nasty-looking bottles of liquid in front of him, and says that it's time for her "initiation." I've been to some fun initiations, but I doubt this is one of them. Did I ever tell you about the time Sars was The Wicked Witch Of The West at our initiations? No? Well, good times. ["Yes, so I'm told." -- Sars] Ethan says not to take this personally, as he kind of likes her, but not as much as he likes himself. He goes on that her karma is going to be way up for taking his place with the demon. Buffy: "I'm gonna kill you. Will that blow the whole karma thing?" Hee. Done with his preparations, he tells her, "This may sting a little, just at first, but don't worry. That'll go away once the searing pain kicks in." Well, when you put it that way, ouch. He tells her to feel free to scream, and gets started. She winces hard.

Willow says they need to come up with a plan, fast. Cordy says that one way to kill a demon is to cut off its head. Xander makes the obvious point that that's not an option. He and Cordy quickly get in each other's faces, which is amusing for Cordy's assertion that she could "take [him]." Soon enough, my dear. Willow goes into blurt mode, which is rapidly becoming a pattern, and yells that they have to concentrate, and "if you two aren't with me a hundred and ten percent, then get the hell out of my library!" Heh. Xander and Cordy meekly apologize. Willow points out that they've done the requisite research, and they just have to figure out how to apply it. Xander thinks to find another dead body for the demon to jump into, which isn't a bad plan, it seems to me, because it would at least save Miss Calendar. Willow thinks that that isn't enough, however, as it won't get rid of Eyghon. She then exclaims that she's got it, and if you haven't figured out her solution yet, I suggest you watch more TV. A lot more.

Ethan has finished tattooing the Mark of Eyghon on the back of Buffy's neck. Buffy tries to tell him that what he's doing is dangerous, but he declares that it will get Eyghon off his scent. He holds up a bottle of sulfuric acid, and Buffy gasps. He reassures her that it's for him, and rolls up his sleeve, revealing a large and very well-defined bicep. Who knew? Buffy is surreptitiously fraying the rope that binds her hands against a piece of metal on the underside of the table. Ethan pours the acid on his tattoo. Ouch, again. However, he takes it like, well, a man.

By Couch Baron

In his apartment, Giles drops his copy of Psychic Plot Contrivances And You, and gets a vision. He sees the scene in Ethan's shop, and bolts.

By Couch Baron

Giles starts to walk off, but she catches up to him and asks if Miss Calendar is okay. Giles, forlornly: "The hills are not alive." Aw, again. He goes on that she'll probably never forgive him, and that maybe she shouldn't. Buffy: "Maybe you should." This is really sweet scene, and illustrates a rare dynamic on the show: while Giles played Watcher/parental figure to many other characters on the show, Buffy's the only one who got to play Watcher to him at any point, to the best of my recollection. Giles says he didn't ever want Buffy to learn about his past, and Buffy admits that it was scary. "I'm so used to you being a grownup, and then I find out that you're a person." Giles says that most grownups are, and ruefully goes on that they can be "short-sighted, foolish people." Buffy smiles that they finally have something in common, and that that's a little weird, but "kind of okay." They realize that they're supposed to be training, and Buffy says she has the perfect music for the occasion. She encourages him to say what's on his mind. Giles manages, "It's not music; it's just meaningless sounds." Buffy: "There! Feel better?" Giles: "Yes. Thanks." Aw. A nice ending to a fairly uneven episode. As they walk into the library, Giles says, "Bay City Rollers. Now that's music." Buffy, the Typing Monkeys, and me: "I didn't hear that."