Dropping the Ball

S14E20

Thanks to Kim for covering for me during last week's high-speed proceedings. Nice to know you were in good hands. And it's nice to come back to see two of my least favorite players gone.

Speaking of which, we flash back to Mike's eviction. Frank DRs about how that hurts his game (I actually think the word is "decimates"), Dan DRs that Mike had to go for being too tight with Frank, and after we see Ian whispering to Mike on his way out the door that he respects him in every sense of the word, Ian DRs about how much his heart hurt, and that he respected and admired Mike too much to let him walk out and get blindsided. Oh, Ian, just when I was rooting for you. Frank DRs that Ian owed Mike the vote, which is crap. We also flash back to Frank yelling at Ian after Mike's exit and making him cry.

Then there's the flashback to Ian's win of the season's shortest HoH reign, which Ian tried and failed to throw because he didn't want to have to go after Frank on behalf of the Quack Pack. And then he went into the arcade room with Dan, who told him to calm down, before he had to be in there all fired up alone with Frank and exchanging rushed assurances of nothing in particular. Then Britney and Shane rushed in with Ian and told Ian to nominate Frank and Ashley, despite Ian's DR'ed theory that backdooring Frank was the safer play because if Frank gets nominated he's in the PoV competition, which he's liable to win (which we now know he did). And then Ian and Ashley had a short convo in there, where Ashley shares her usual thoughts -- that is to say, nothing -- but it was still more than they had to say to each other on their last date. And then Ian shortly told Joe to name his picks and Joe said Frank and Ashley, like anyone cares what Joe wants. Ian demands a week of safety from Joe in exchange. Nobody ever has time for Joe, except during the final seconds of a commercial break on a live show?

Then we flash to Ian's nomination of Frank and Ashley, which thrilled Dan and disgusted Frank. But then of course Frank won PoV, just as Ian feared, and boasted in the DR about saving himself for the fifth time. Ian complains in the DR about having to "fear the wrath of a very angry Frank." Who then pulled Ian into the arcade room. They talked about getting Joe out, and then we flash back to Joe's third nomination of the game happening during Thursday's show. Ian was pissed at Britney for not listening to him (dude, you're the one who listened to Britney), and Frank started flailing around the house for votes to keep Ashley, then yelled at Joe while everyone sat in the living room waiting for Julie to come back on the viewscreen. Then there was Ashley's eviction, much to the regret of Ian and contrary to Frank's one vote for her to stay. And of course Frank hollered at everyone, mainly Ian, while Britney begged Frank to back off him. Frank loudly yelled about how everyone wants to get rid of him. And this behavior from him is fixing that...how?

In the bathroom, Dan tries to assure Ian that he's not the bad person he thinks he is, going so far as to say he'd set Ian up with his sister. "That looked like someone who wanted to win the game to me," Dan tells him, and even makes him an official Renegade.

Frank invites Shane and Danielle to a talk. Shane babbles that he thought Ian was going to nominate him, and all Frank cares about right now is that he's not going to be able to get either Shane nor Danielle to turn on their former coaches. Ian and Britney wander in, but Frank wants no part of Ian right now, so Britney joins the powwow. She and Frank exchange apologies for earlier, while Frank blames Dan more than Ian for what just happened. Frank warns them that he'll nominate Dan and Joe if he wins HoH -- and unless Shane agrees, Frank will nominate Shane in Joe's place. Danielle starts crying, and asks for a moment alone with Frank to beg for mercy on Dan's behalf -- or so I thought. Actually she's just crying. Frank hugs her and assures her that he's not after her.

Meanwhile, Shane and Britney retreat to the Have-Not room to discuss their move, which is to cut a preemptive deal with Frank before the HoH competition to keep him from nominating Shane. Apparently everyone just assumes Frank will win again. So Britney takes Frank into the storage room and agrees to work with him this week. "I'd rather be with nine-life guy than against nine-life guy," she tells him. They hug like three times and everything.

Out to the backyard, and Dan DRs that if the Quack Pack can't win HoH against Frank, then one of them deserves to go home anyway, unaware that he's just been cut loose to twist. Outgoing HoH Ian tells the other seven remaining players that the winner not only gets to be HoH but also names the week's sole Have-Not. The actual competition appears to be a game of delicacy and balance, in which players will gently pull on ropes to lift a plank up the face of a board perforated with numbered holes. There's a ball balanced on the plank, and whichever hole it rolls into, that's your score. It's like slow-motion skee-ball. The first round is just to establish rankings for the one-on-one matchups that will determine HoH. Danielle gets a lackluster eight, but that beats Frank's five. Shane gets seventeen, Jenn six, Joe ten, Britney seven, and then Dan loses control of his ball, which rolls all the way down to one. Dan looks like he's going to throw up.

The competition moves from the qualifying board to two identical boards, which Dan and Frank take position in front of as the two lowest scorers. And coincidentally, as the house's two sworn enemies. "The epic battle of round one," Frank sardonically DRs. There are no scores on these boards, just a lot of blank openings of different shapes and sizes, with a small round hole at the top center. The first person to get their ball into that hole wins that round. The bell rings and they get to work. All Dan wants to do is eliminate Frank so he'll go home this week, but Frank figures he needs to beat everyone in order to survive. And he does beat Dan, who drops his ball and is out of the HoH competition.

Then it's Jenn's turn to take on Frank. That goes exactly as you would expect. Britney loses the third round to Frank, who's getting a lot of practice at it and is improving with each round. Danielle gets smoked, and then it's Joe's turn. "I NEED TO BEAT THE MAN TO BE THE MAN," Joe DRs. Needless to say, Joe does not beat the man. Now there's nobody left to compete against Frank for HoH but Shane. Shane keeps dropping his ball while Frank focuses on getting his ball to the top once again -- which he inevitably does, winning HoH. It's going to be a long week for the rest of those losers.

Dan is confident that he's going to be nominated, but is equally confident he'll slither through the week somehow. While everyone politely congratulates Frank, Britney begs him not to make her a Have-Not. "I don't even know why we show up," Britney DRs. "Like, we should just push him into the backyard, shut the sliding glass door, and wait inside, like, eating pizza for him to come back inside with the key. It's, like, what was he, competing with people in hospice?" Only Britney can make the word "hospice" funny. Frank names Dan as the Have-Not, which is the first time that's ever happened to Dan, believe it or not. Ian figures that he's pretty likely to be Frank's other nominee, given his role in the eviction of Frank's two closest allies. Ian doesn't know that Frank doesn't even have that much respect for him.

Up in the HoH room, Britney checks in with Frank to confirm their deal, and he tells her that he trusts her and plans to nominate Dan and Danielle. Frank doesn't want to miss another chance to get rid of Dan, and Britney agrees that it works for her too, promising to vote to keep Danielle -- or however Frank wants her to. They make a "final four-or-so" deal and everything. Oh, Britney.

And just as the players suspected a whole week ago, Pandora's Box is back. Frank enters the HoH room to finds the question-marked door all set up. He reads the card with the usual message, and the monitor shows him a lot of little boxes with dollar signs inside the room behind the door. Frank is given five minutes to make a decision to enter the room and raid the cubes that the card tells him are worth more than ten thousand dollars. Frank likes that idea, but is wary of a twist that could ruin his plan to oust Dan. Still, he decides to open it, as everyone always does. He goes inside and reads a card that tells him he can open any three of the several dozen cubes on shelves marked with dollar signs, and he gets to keep the amount shown inside. The downside: when he's done, he'll be locked inside for an hour. During which time I'm sure nothing will be going on with the other seven people in the house. The first box Frank picks is for a dollar and five cents, the second one is good for seven dollars and eleven cents, but then gets $3,333.33. Frank says it could have been worse, like a third of the total amount isn't likely to have been the biggest single prize in there. "Let's hope it has nothing to do with some sort of twist that's going to hurt me this week." Go ahead and hope that, Frank; I'll pass.

While he's locked inside, the mystery cube inside the claw game morphs into a golden Veto ball. And the other houseguests (not counting Jenn, who's apparently gone dark again) are released into the backyard, where a note tells them Pandora's Box has been opened and there could be an extra veto brought into play as a result. But the card tells them they need fifty cents, and it's not like these people have a lot of walking-around money in the house. They immediately start ransacking the yard, Ian breaking a pot in the process, until plastic balls start raining into the yard from on high. They figure out that some of these must contain the change they need.

Dan is the first to find a ball with quarters inside and try his luck at the claw machine in the arcade room. It doesn't work for him, but he goes back outside and lets everyone think he successfully fished it out, just to buy himself a few extra seconds of searching while everyone else thinks the competition is already over. Ian is the to take a try, but is unsuccessful. Britney and Joe dive for the same ball, and she nearly takes his arm off. When she goes inside, the claw picks up the Veto ball, but drops it before it's over the return chute. Dan, who's acting pretty grabby throughout this whole thing, takes another crack after slamming the door in Britney's face.

Ian finds more coins, but passes up a chance to play on the logic that the player will move the ball closer to the chute for him. But then when he starts to follow Dan in to go after he does, Dan loudly rats him out. He's pissing everyone off, even Danielle. Ian has no choice but to take another crack at it -- and even with the ball's suboptimal starting position, he wins it. So there, Dan.

Finally Frank is released from Pandora's Box. He checks out the disarray in the backyard and high-fives Ian for winning the veto. Which he has to do, because now he has to check with Ian on where his head's at right away. Ian says he'd use the Veto on himself for sure. Britney joins them, and Frank shares his new plan: nominate Ian and Danielle, thus hopefully preventing Dan from competing in the actual PoV later this week and allowing Ian to Veto himself -- if Ian can be trusted not to cover Dan's ass again, that is. "Do what you do," Ian all but dares Frank. Ian says he doesn't want to mess with anyone's decisions, but Frank angrily calls him on what he did the day before. Sure, drag up all that ancient history.

Britney and Frank are left to confer, and Britney suggests that Frank threaten Ian with a replacement-nomination of Britney if Ian uses his Veto in a way Frank doesn't like. Britney DRs that her best-case scenario is for Dan and Danielle to both be nominated, and then both vetoed, and thus the whole Quack Pack is safe for the week. Frank and Britney go to Ian, who doesn't want to commit to anything other than tossing his new Veto ball up and down in front of him, which is a good way to watch it get snatched out of the air and stepped on. Frank DRs that he's considering nominating Ian, forcing him to use the Veto on himself rather than on Dan. At least then he'd know what Ian would do.

By M. Giant

We cut right to the nomination ceremony. Frank's wearing a "Coach Boogie" t-shirt as he starts pulling keys. Safe tonight are, in order, Jenn, Ian, Joe, Britney, and Shane. So that's Dan and Danielle on the block, as Frank proposed earlier. Frank dedicates his nominations to Mike and Danielle, telling Dan that he's been trying to get Frank out for weeks, and Danielle that she's a victim of circumstance. Danielle weeps in the DR how "this is the absolute worst thing that could happen to me," because Danielle has a tough life.

Ian DRs that he's not nominated and he has a Veto that Frank doesn't want him to use, and neither does Ian himself. "But a lot could change between now and the Veto meeting." Frank DRs about how he's putting his faith in Britney and Ian. "I don't want to take a shot and miss." Dan DRs that he might just be able to get Ian to use the Veto on him. As we close out for the night, the announcer asks us whether Ian will indeed use his veto on either Dan or Danielle, and who will win the second PoV. Like we don't already know it's going to be Frank.

M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.