After a flashback to Jeff's nomination of Kalia and Porsche, it's Day 49. Porsche Diary-Rooms that of the two nominees, she's the bigger threat and thus the target, while Kalia says that she does more than Porsche and thus...Porsche is the target. So they're in agreement on that, at least. Jeff says that if the nominations don't change then Kalia's going, but if they do, it's curtains for Daniele. As for Daniele herself, she DRs that she hopes to prevent that, "but it's going to really suck to see one of my closest allies leave." I can think of one way around that.
Later, Daniele asks Kalia what it's like to be on the block, and reminds her that she, Daniele, is the only person in the house who hasn't been nominated this season. Way to jinx it, ditz. Kalia checks a point of policy: if Daniele wins the Veto and saves Kalia she can't go up herself, right? Daniele confirms that, but what about her deal with Jeff to throw the PoV competition? Well, Daniele's having second thoughts about that, especially since saving Kalia would force Jeff to nominate one of his allies. Kalia says their best-case scenario is Daniele winning Veto. Daniele correctly points out that Kalia winning Head of Household would have been better. "Tou," Kalia says, "ché."
Daniele goes and visits Porsche while Porsche's doing exactly what Jeff thought she would in response to her nomination, i.e. taking a nap. Porsche is also pinning her hopes on Daniele winning the Veto, since if either of the nominees save themselves, it means sacrificing Daniele. Without whom they are both screwed anyway, even though Porsche's the only one who knows it.
Adam lamely tries to take Jeff to task for not nominating Daniele. Jeff assures Adam that he knows what he's doing, and Adam is so eager to be convinced that he offers to let Jeff tell him what to do if he wins the Veto. Jeff makes oblique mob-movie remarks that Adam pretends to understand.
Rachel joins Daniele and Porsche and Kalia. Rachel grills Daniele about being sad over eating slop, and it being her 25th birthday. Rachel might actually be attempting to be friendly here, which I wouldn't say if the tone of her voice right now weren't conversational instead of its usual bitchy bray. But Daniele DRs that Rachel's making her life hard, while Rachel DRs that she's doing so in revenge for evicting Brendon, not once but twice. Daniele comes outside to pout in front of Jordan and Adam, and after a minute Rachel follows her and drives her away again with more low-voltage taunts. Jordan actually gets irritated with Rachel, not buying her innocent act at all. And Jordan could afford to buy it if she wanted.
The Veto competition drawing is convened, and Jeff announces that there will be seven people playing for it this week, which is unusual. In addition to the HoH, the nominees, and the one person each of the three of them draws, Daniele will also be playing, as a result of the Veto Ticket she won last week, which I totally forgot about. Jeff draws Jordan, Porsche draws Adam, and Kalia draws Houseguest's Choice and picks Shelly, so that leaves only Rachel sitting out. She's pretty bitter about it, too.
It's time for Jordan to de-Humilitard, which she does in front of everyone. She's wearing clothes under it though, so no big. Still, it's the most excitement most of these people have had since they got their keys. [Note: And, by the looks of it, the most that Adam has ever had in his entire life -- RS.]
With the lights out in the HoH room, Jeff and Jordan use the monitor to watch Porsche follow Daniele around and make fun of them. And then get into a debate about the proper pronunciation of "mischievous." Actually, the most interesting part of this scene is that the night-vision camera picks up the signal from the TV remote. It looks like a flashing light. Neato.
Daniele and Kalia are trying to stay optimistic about the upcoming Veto competition. Daniele is feeling the pressure to win it and not only save one of her allies, but prevent her own backdooring. Good plan.
Aw, yeah, look who's here. The only character I'm ever happy to see return to the house: Zingbot 3000! The whole house gathers around to hear what he has to say. "Zing me!" Rachel begs. Pause. "Or don't," she says. Zingbot, whose high-pitched, oddly cadenced voice is probably prerecorded anyway, starts with Jeff: "1995 called! The want their soul patch back! Zing!" Then he asks Porsche, "Shouldn't you be named after a car with a...roomier...trunk?" Zing! Rachel's , as the Zingbot accuses her of using the f-word too much: "Fiancé! Fiancé! Zing!!!" "No Zingbot gets between me and my man," Rachel plays along in the DR. Then Zingbot asks Daniele, "Do you own a car, or do you sill prefer to just ride your daddy's coattails?" Everyone thinks that's going a little far. As for Adam, Zingbot says it was a good call to shave his beard. "I don't think your girlfriend realized she was dating Uncle Fester!" Shelly gets asked, "What do you call someone who likes to smoke, hunt, and fish? A duuuuuude!" The Zingbot brought his A material, didn't it? But then it doesn't have much on Kalia, other than to point out that although she writes a sex blog, she's more of an expert on what comes after sex: sleeping. Finally it's Jordan's turn, as the Zingbot says that the only reason Jeff hasn't proposed is because "he knows you're terrible at answering questions! Zzzzing!" Jordan, in the DR: "Wait, what?" Actually, that could have been in response to anything. Then the Zingbot leads them in lab coats out to the backyard, which has been set up as a kind of cheap-ass science lab. Rachel DRs that it makes her miss Brendon (her fiancé), and Daniele DRs that Rachel would love to play in this competition because she thinks she's a scientist, "But unless scientist serve Mai Tais, I'm pretty sure she's a waitress. Zing!" Oh, everyone's getting into it now.
The Zingbot hands Rachel a paper to read. She obligingly explains that the Zingbot has waited three thousand years for a bride, so the houseguests will be racing to build fembots. Each of them gets a square frame and a set of puzzle-like armor plates to attach to it. The first person to get the arms and head on as well will win the PoV. Zingbot says, "My dearest love, I anxiously await your completion but with these houseguests, I may be waiting a while! ZinggggGG!"
Kalia says she's fighting for the Veto for herself. Daniele says she doesn't trust Jeff, and wants to save Kalia. Jeff wants to be able to keep control. The Zingbot, who's too awesome to care about any of these idiots, trills, "Ready, set, go!"
The competition begins, and the players start trying to figure out how to hang the pieces on the pegs. Adam DRs that he doesn't want to win, as if there was any danger of that. Kalia DRs that all the pieces look the same. Shelly also doesn't want to win the Veto, because then she'd have to not only pick a side but publicly act on it. It's a little tricky to throw this one, considering there are partitions separating them and they can't se each other's progress. The houseguests also DR some zingers of their own, most of which aren't worth repeating, except for how Kalia should do well putting together a romantic robot: "All her dates come with a charger. Zing!" That wasn't bad. I wonder who wrote it for him? Jordan just zings herself. There's a lot of present-tense narrating of the challenge in the DR like they do, and finally it looks like Jeff is going to win it; he's the first to attach his fembot's arms and head, so he wins the competition and the Veto. Zingbot thanks him and gives him the PoV medal. "Now all the power in the house this week is mine," Jeff DRs. Both Kalia and Porsche can only hope to convince Jeff to keep them, and Daniele hopes Jeff will stick with their deal. Jeff just DRs that he has a big decision to make.
Kalia goes to Shelly to complain about her situation. Shelly wants this week's loser alliance to know that she's on their side, even though she's actually on Jeff and Jordan's side. Kalia is worried about being voted out as a stronger person than Porsche, but even worse would be to find herself on the block against Daniele. Shelly offers to go talk to Jeff, which Kalia thinks won't work, because she underestimates Shelly's sucking-up capabilities.
Shelly does join Jeff and Adam to quiz the former about what he plans to do. Jeff isn't saying one way or the other, because he hasn't made up his mind yet. Shelly informs Jeff that Kalia's freaking out now that she thinks she's the target. "She thought she wasn't?" Jeff smirks.
Daniele and Porsche are sad over slop in the Have-Not room, speculating that Jeff's going to nominate the two of them, and pretty much at a loss as to what to do about it. Try looking sadder.
That evening, Porsche basically throws herself on Jeff's mercy. He suggests a one-week deal with her, but says to wait and see. He again guilts her for not talking to him, which apparently really bothers him. But of course what Porsche doesn't know is that he has no intention of evicting her anyway, so basically he just got a promise from her not to come after him from the HoH room for free. Which, on the other hand, is worth exactly what he gave for it.
Kalia then makes her own pitch to Jeff, repeating that she wasn't trying to come after him weeks ago when she nominated him. The big problem Kalia faces is that nobody else has really pissed Jeff off since she did, which means the short memories that often save people in this game doesn't really apply to her. Jeff is still keeping it close to the vest, but at least pretends to be listening to what Kalia was saying.
Daniele's turn. Actually Jeff approaches her to ask what she's willing to offer him. Daniele talks final four if he keeps her and Kalia this week, and promises that he's never been her target. Well, not since week two or three, at least. She makes all manner of promises to him, wisely leaving out he part where she was going to save Kalia had she won the Veto.
It's Veto day. "Time for big Jeff to make some big moves and rock the house," Jeff boasts in the DR, although he claims he still hasn't decided. Rachel, who has mercifully been nearly absent this hour, DRs that she doesn't know what he'll do either, but she's hoping for one of the nominees to be replaced by Daniele. Porsche hopes she'll be safe, since she's never pissed off Jeff. Then she says the second thing in a row that I agree with, which is, "It's definitely too soon for me to go to jury with Brendon, that's for sure." It's always too soon. Kalia thinks she might win a vote against Porsche but would definitely beat Daniele. As for Daniele, she says Jeff promised he wouldn't backdoor her. "If he does, there will be hell to pay and it will be his biggest regret in this game." Which I guess she'll do from the jury house. Jeff convenes the Veto meeting, and lets Porsche and Kalia plead their case before announcing (not to say making) his decision. Porsche says she wants to be Vetoed because she wants a chance to win something, like there haven't been a couple dozen competitions that she had as much of a chance to win as anyone else. "And I like your haircut," she adds, which I suspect is more of a compliment to Jordan. Kalia makes a speech about being responsible for yourself and tells Jeff she'll respect his decision, but he'll probably have more red velvet cake in the house if he keeps her. Jeff announces that he is indeed Vetoing Porsche. She practically pees herself as she sits on one of the safe-sofas with the Veto medal around her neck. Jeff then announces his replacement nominee: Daniele. "Shocker," Daniele says as she takes her seat. Jeff says it's all about trust, and reminds Daniele that she tried to backdoor him. So Jeff's memory is even longer than I thought. Jeff also mentions that Julie asked Daniele during a private HoH Chenterview if she regretted trying to backdoor Jeff and she said no. "Well, if you walk out that door Thursday and she asks you the same question, I hope you have a different answer." Well, I guess he showed her. Although maybe Daniele's biggest regret now should be shooting her mouth off to Jeff like that in the first place.
Daniele DRs that she still has no regrets, but Jeff will if she's still there on Thursday. Big if, that. Kalia analyzes, "It really sucks." Rachel is so excited she DRs of Daniele, "Nobody comes between me and my alliance!" Not funny any more. Never was. It's anti-funny. Jeff says he was trying to further himself and Jordan in the game, and taunts Daniele before faking a yawn and waving, "Later." So we'll see on Thursday whether Daniele or Kalia gets evicted. Or, since it's a double-eviction episode, maybe it'll be both. And at least they won't be apart for long.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.