We join the laundry-themed HoH still in progress from Thursday night, with houseguests racing back and forth across a wet, soapy Slip 'n Slide to fill large bowls with liquid soap a half-cup at a time. Of course there are lots of cuts back and forth between this and people Diary-Rooming about how and why they need to win. Rachel brays that she's back, now that Brendon came back for a week, and isn't going to completely fall apart like she did after his first eviction. I'll believe it when I see it. Daniele also mentions that Brendon's been evicted three times in a year, which she and I both find hilarious.
After Brendon's exit, Rachel snots at Daniele about the cheers Brendon got from the love audience, like Daniele cares.
Back to the HoH competition. People are wiping out and dropping their liquid. Not a euphemism. The rain and the foam keep pouring down, and at one point Jordan actually disappears completely when she falls. Shelly pauses to help fish her out, because it's not like Shelly's going to win anyway. From the sidelines, Daniele is trying to push Kalia to move faster, which only annoys Kalia. Later, Jeff has a lead, with Porsche and Rachel in a near-tie for second. The houseguests start complaining about bubbles in their eyes, and Adam suddenly takes a gainer so hard that it almost looks like something might come of it, but he's fine. More yammering form everyone about how they need to win, all the way into the ads. This is keeping me on the edge of my seat. The back edge, but still.
Back from the commercials, the competition has been going for more than an hour and twenty minutes, and Jeff's lead is widening. Rachel suddenly decides to start cheering Jeff on to show she's on his side. Canny. Finally, Jeff wins it after an hour and a half. Daniele wades out onto the Slip 'n Slide to give Jeff his key, and Jeff and Jordan are both pretty happy about his win. Porsche's worried about what will happen to her and Kalia and Daniele, while Rachel DRs, "Come on, girls, at least when you win, I pretend like I'm happy!" Liar. Rachel acts like they're the sore losers who caught an undeserved bad break. See, Rachel, that's what you look like from the outside.
Daniele congratulates Jeff after the HoH competition, but Jeff DRs that he hasn't ruled out getting rid of her, regardless of what they may or may not have discussed last week when Daniele was HoH. Porsche is more bitter about losing than she ever has been before. Meanwhile, Rachel talks to Jordan about how she misses Brendon, but it's not as bad this time because he's in the Jury House, and will be "deciding" who wins. Rachel DRs like she's mending fences with Jeff and Jordan, but it just sounds like she was trying to intimidate them. Even her friendliness comes off as assholery.
Kalia, Daniele, and Shelly sit around eating chips and talking about how much they all hate Rachel. Then Shelly goes and messes with Rachel by making a show of sucking up to Jeff.
Kalia's pretty sure she's going to go up, even as a pawn. She outlines for Daniele a possible scenario where Rachel gets booted (it involves a Veto and a back door, obviously, and everyone forgetting about Adam, which is the most likely aspect of the whole plan), but Daniele is pretending it's completely out of their hands, even as she DRs that she hopes Jeff and Jordan stick to the deal they made last week. Which isn't so much of a deal as Daniele's abject apology and throwing herself preemptively on Jeff's mercy, but whatever.
Jeff invites everyone up to his HoH room. "Put on your fake face and get up here!" he calls. Everyone assembles on the mezzanine to see the first male HoH room of the season. "It's good to be back in the penthouse with our alliance," Shelly DRs, as if she hasn't considered herself allies with everyone else who's been up there. Jeff reads a letter from his grade-school niece who spells as well as Jeff does. After everyone leaves the room but Jeff and Rachel, they talk about the competition while everyone downstairs talks about what a suck-up Rachel is. After Jordan returns, Shelly decides it's time to take on Rachel, so she goes up and tells Rachel, in front of Jeff and Jordan, to stop giving her the murder-eyes. She also tells her to stop talking behind her back, which is rich considering how much bitching about Rachel Shelly has been doing. Basically she says there's only room for one of them in the alliance if things don't change. Jeff and Jordan try to smooth things over between them, and Rachel DRs about the nerve of Shelly to take her to task, but as the result of some kind of miracle, she keeps whatever she was going to say to herself. Jeff celebrates in the DR how Rachel finally bit her tongue for the first time. She must have bit it clean off.
Sunday-night filler already? Apparently Jeff has been cooking every day, but Shelly never wants to eat anything. She's got a very narrow culinary comfort zone, and is unfamiliar with such exotic California-type foods as "guacamoll."
Speaking of food, the Have-Not menu this week is hard-boiled eggs and jalapenos. The presentation is nice, but...there hasn't been a Have/Have-Not competition. Instead, they're making Jeff pick three Have-Nots for the week. I'd like to think that's just to stir things up, but I suspect someone just forgot to come up with a competition. Jeff names Porsche and Daniele, supposedly on the grounds that they haven't been Have-Nots yet, and puts Kalia with them. So that's a clear shot across the bow of that alliance. The three new Have-Nots sit in a bedroom and complain about being Have-Nots. Daniele in particular isn't happy about what slop does to her.
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Outside, Kalia asks Rachel to bail so she can have a private convo with Jeff. After this mysterious new woman in the Rachel suit politely gets up and leaves, Kalia brings up the nominations, and "warns" Jeff that there's someone in the house who's been throwing him under the bus. Jeff figures she means Rachel, but isn't convinced. He also reminds her of the warning he gave her two weeks ago. So, basically, if she gets nominated, which she will, tough shit.
Now that there are "only" eight players left, the big table has been replaced with a smaller table. And Shelly has been replaced with a talking strip of beef jerky.
Jeff approaches Daniele in the backyard and apologizes for making her a Have-Not. He says they're good, and adds that he doesn't plan to nominate her, neither initially nor as a replacement should the Veto be used. And speaking of Vetos, he asks what she'll do if she wins the Veto. She basically says she won't win it, so as not to tip off Kalia by not using it. Daniele figures Jeff's nominees will be Kalia and Porsche, which is what Jeff wants her to think, even though he tells us he hasn't actually made up his mind yet.
Porsche makes her overture to Jeff, saying that she doesn't want to leave the house until she's won a competition. So how long is everyone supposed to wait around for that exactly? She points out that she has gotten three second-place finishes, although she leaves out her earlier remark that second place is first loser. Jeff gloats about how Porsche hasn't talked Game with him until this, Day 49. All Jeff says is, "We'll see," and passive-aggressives her about never having brought this up to him before, like a guilt-tripping grandmother.
Jeff talks to Jordan about his talk with Daniele, and her claim that she'd throw the PoV. They agree that they can't trust her, and Jeff is still considering nominating her. This comes complete with fantasizing about Daniele's wrath.
Nomination Day. Porsche thinks she'll be a nominee, and although she doesn't think she's a target, she says it's easy to go home as a pawn with only eight players left. Kalia expects to be put on the block for risking Jeff weeks ago, even after her assurances that he wasn't her target. Daniele is hoping Jeff will stick to her "deal," but Jeff says it's his big moment, so he's going to do what he's been planning to do for a while. Kind of a giveaway there.
Nomination meeting. Jordan grins at Jeff like she knows she's safe, which, okay. The first key pulled is Rachel's. Also safe are Shelly, Adam, and Jordan. Way to make her sweat, Jeff. She has a little trouble getting her key on over her dunce beanie's propeller, but she eventually manages it. The final safe person is Daniele, so Kalia and Porsche are the nominees. Jeff explains that it's down to eight people. He guilt-trips Porsche some more and says he wants to see her compete, and tells Kalia that turnabout is fair play. So who's his actual target, then? Porsche DRs about how pissed she is at being nominated, and wants to stay "so I can kick Jeff off week." Which she will accomplish by a few limp remarks in the Diary Room, no doubt. Daniele is not thrilled -- not only are her two allies up, but she herself fears she might be backdoored. Kalia vows to lay low and fight for the Veto. Jeff figures the nominees' first move will be to "take a nap," which is fine with him because his ultimate goal is to backdoor Daniele anyway. I knew it!
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M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.
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