So we're down to five. Which means fewer idiots, but a lot more time spent with each of them. Everything's a tradeoff.
During a flashback to Thursday's double-eviction episode, Hayden Diary Rooms about how this "grenade" spiked his stress level. Enzo talks about how "the Brains" went home, and Britney calls Matt a "shady character" and it was time for him to go. Keep it clean, Britney! Ragan says he's upset about Matt's exit, but not as much as he would have been a week ago, given how Matt campaigned against Ragan. Again, everything's a tradeoff.
Hayden and Lane talk about what this means for the Brigade, namely that they have to get Ragan out of the house before he blows their cover. Because just think of the havoc when Hayden won the HoH, and everyone was happy about it except Brendon. And probably Ragan, who told them during a Thursday commercial break that it was great getting to know them all. Lane tells him to stop it, but then the remainder of the Brigade agree with Brendon that Ragan's eviction is plan A, and Britney's plan B if Ragan wins the PoV. Hayden and Brendon have a whispered conference in which Hayden assures Brendon that Ragan's his target and Brendon basically says, "He'd better be." After Hayden nominated Brendon and Ragan, he met with Enzo and Britney to whisper about the backup plan, which for Hayden, consisted of, "One of you three is going up as a pawn." And then Ragan won PoV and was happy to have guaranteed himself another week in the house. Hayden confirmed with Britney that she was okay going up as the pawn. Which she did, of course, and Brendon was voted out 3-0. "Oh, my gosh, it took forever," Britney celebrates in the DR. "The Neandertal [sic] is out." Enzo invites Brendon to go to the jury house with Rachel and "Go make ugly babies."
Exit Brendon, leaving the final five behind, to give him his props in absentia. "He was a target from week one," Ragan DRs. Hayden DRs to Brendon, "Sucks to be you."
Afterward, Ragan and Britney agree that they have to win. But how can they both win? Ragan still knows there's an alliance between the men of the house. "sans the house gay." Indeed, Enzo, Lane, and Hayden congratulate themselves on this final-five victory, and Enzo offers to nominate Britney and Ragan so Lane doesn't have to. Not that Enzo's ever won anything but a screening of The Other Guys, and I'm not sure "won" is the correct verb in that case.
Time for the second HoH competition of the week. There are blackjack tables set up, and Hayden will be "dealing" hands of blackjack, meaning he'll be announcing the cards the producers pick out. And then the other four will be trying to roll a ball down a seesaw ramp into a skeeball-type area, with the goal of landing the ball in the little pens that indicate each card. Ragan says he needs to win, because he's the only one not allied with someone, and Enzo says, "Win or go home. You can't blame nobody else for you not wining now. If you go home. It's your fault." I wanted to be sure to get that down. Lane says he doesn't want to win HoH, because that'll put him in the awkward position of having to choose between Britney or a Brigade member to go up against Ragan.
Lane gets a perfect score on his first round. Ragan does almost as well, and Enzo DRs, "It may be tougher to beat him than I thought." In five balls on her first round, Britney only gets one ball to score. But she's not too scared, since Enzo still has to go. "Just a bit much," Hayden remarks as one of Enzo's balls overshoots. "That's what she said." But he still gets it done in four tries, so he beats Britney and she's out, much to her embarrassment.
On the second round, Ragan only scores with one of his five balls, which is not great. Enzo's already smelling victory, which is why it's funny that he blows all five shots. Lane's annoyed, because he was going to throw it to Enzo, but now he has no choice but to win, which will put him in a bad spot unless he loses, of course. Hayden wryly calls Enzo "the most consistent competitor all season long." "The more I stay in this house the more embarrassing it gets," Enzo DRs. For him, yes.
It's down to Lane and Ragan for the last round. He takes all five balls to score his two cards, and Ragan is going to have to beat that to win. Ragan cuts it close, blowing the first three balls, but scoring with the fourth one. It's all down to one more ball, but the commercials land before it does.
After the ads, Ragan's last ball goes wide, so Lane is HoH. Lane is happy to be a lock for the final four, but he doesn't want to have to choose between Britney and a Brigade member to go up. Britney, oblivious to that, DRs about how everything worked out in the best-case scenario for her. Ragan, knowing about Lane's alliances, expects to go up, and Enzo says, "Blondie's gotta go up."
Ragan goes and slumps on a bed, sadly telling himself, "another week fighting for survival." He promises the DR that he'll do what he has to to stay in the game. Well, except for winning HoH like he needed to.
Lane asks Hayden and Britney who wants the pawn spot. Britney whines that she just finished being the pawn. Yes, for about ten minutes. Since Enzo isn't in the room, they suggest him, since he hasn't won anything. "As long as it's not me," Hayden DRs, with his standard team spirit.
Lane's HoH room. Lane has a terrifying-looking brother, and there's a green helmet, which prompt Lane to admit that all he does is schmooze clients on the golf course. Good move, that.
That night, Hayden and Britney lounge in the hammock, and Britney talks about how she's not sure she'd vote for Lane in the final two, because he might not need the money. Hayden can't agree fast enough with that.
Hayden and Enzo take a pause from prematurely celebrating their final-four status to wonder what happens if Lane doesn't nominate Britney and Ragan wins PoV. That would be awkward for the Brigade, so they decide they have to "pull [Lane] back." Which they'll do by warning Lane that Britney's too much of a threat to bring with him to the final two.
Enzo plays "spaceman" on the workout bench in his penguin suit, because everyone's so bored. The editors add some sound effects and everything. Britney DRs about how Enzo's lost it, even though during Enzo's little performance, we saw Britney laughing maniacally. While also wearing a crown, so.
It's Lane's turn to face the Pandora's Box door. The feed from inside the room seems to show a tree hung with envelopes and medallions marked with dollar signs. Lane's second envelope warns him of the ten-thousand-dollar money tree, "with every temptation comes a consequence." Lane decides to open it, heedless of the consequences for his housemates.
There's a note on the tree saying that Lane can choose up to three cash envelopes, and for each one, there'll be a punishment for the whole house -- including Lane. He pulls down one envelope that turns out to be good for $79, and another for $12. "This is not a money tree, this is a fake-you-out tree," he complains, showing a surprising grasp of botany. He pulls another envelope for seventeen cents, so his big windfall is $91.17. "I got screwed, so now I have to explain to the rest of the house that they're about to get screwed too." He goes out and tells them all about it, including the three punishments in the offing. "Oh my God, in the jury house, they cloned Rachel," Ragan DRs with dread. And Lane looks on the bright side: "Maybe I can fill my car up with gas."
While the final five lounge unsuspectingly outside, all the silverware and glasses disappear from the kitchen. Looks like a week of eating with their hands and drinking out of bowls (and two-liter bottles [while eating, Britney? Really?]), thanks to Lane. Well, at least there's that much less to not wash.
Up in the HoH room, Britney asks Lane who he's going to put up. Lane says Ragan and Enzo, and asks her if she'd take Ragan off the block if she wins PoV. Britney says she wouldn't, but Ragan might just save himself. Britney's more worried about Enzo winning HoH week and putting her up, which is about as likely as the house getting hit by a meteor. While the meteor is still in space. Lane makes the mistake of flatly stating, "I'm not putting up Hayden," which he didn't say about Britney. "We'll see where your loyalties lie," she says, annoyed. And now she threatens to use the Veto on Ragan if she wins. And he threatens in turn to put her up so she has to use it on herself. They're kind of kidding, but they're kidding on the square.
Lane complains to Enzo and Hayden about how this is hard for him, to the point where he'd almost rather nominate himself. "This sucks, I wish I was playing golf," he DRs. Enzo talks big about how he'd just nominate Britney and Ragan. Well, you didn't win, Enzo. Lane asks Hayden if he'd be willing to go up, since it's been a while for him. "It's different now," he coaxes. Enzo doesn't get that Lane has a problem nominating Britney, and DRs that he's trusting Lane less. So what are you going to do about it?
It's nomination day. Ragan says he'd be shocked if he didn't go up. Hayden says he doesn't know what Lane will do, but Ragan is the target. Enzo insists to the DR that Lane has to nominate Britney and Ragan. Britney says that if she goes up. "I'm gonna be really pissed." Lane says this is hard, because "I hate upsetting people." But he has to look out for himself.
Lane convenes the nomination ceremony. Britney's safe, to the visible annoyance of Enzo, even under his penguin beak. Also safe is Hayden, which makes Enzo the pawn up against Ragan. Lane tells them it was hard, and "the PoV is the real deal in this."
Ragan DRs that he's by himself, so he needs to win PoV. Enzo calls Lane's nominations a "baby move. Lane's a pussy. Make the power move already." Isn't turning on your alliance a power move? I get confused about the definition of that term, mainly because it seems to vary based on who's using it. Lane hopes that Enzo isn't that mad at him. And Lane DRs that Enzo hasn't won anything, whereas Britney has. "Maybe Britney should stay and you should go." Hard to argue with that; Enzo can't even win against a person who wants to lose to him.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.
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