Julie's dressed for a funeral, even though it's double eviction night, the happiest time of the season! After the previouslies, Julie welcomes us to the show, which she promises will have a whole week's worth of activity in an hour. But first!
Flashback to Britney replacement-nominating Matt, who tells us in the Diary Room that he needs to pull another rabbit out of his hat. Yes, that and another Diamond PoV, or perhaps a Men In Black neuralyzer so everyone forgets what a twat he's been. And the best part is that his betrayal of Ragan was for nothing, because Britney tells us she was considering replacement-nominating Hayden, but Matt screwed himself with his own ruthlessness toward Ragan. Enzo announces that after Matt, the Brigade is going after Brendon, Britney, and Ragan. "Get 'em out of here," Enzo DRs, as though they did something to him.
Britney goes to sympathize with Ragan, who is actually more upset about Matt's betrayal than his nomination. Matt asks to talk to Ragan, and Ragan shoots him down. Ragan DRs that on the bright side, this made him realize it's a game, and he'd damn well better step his up. Matt goes to Britney to find out why Ragan shut him out. Britney pretends not to know, but Matt's not fooled; he knows Britney sold him out. He DRs, "I'm in some big trouble here if I can't get Ragan back on my side." Yeah, good luck with that.
Matt's angle for approaching Ragan is to claim that he "accidentally" threw Ragan under the bus. Matt babbles about Ragan "campaigning" for him last week. Which totally backfires, because it makes Ragan want to distance himself from Matt even more. So Ragan comes out into the yard and announces to everyone that whatever Matt may have said, he doesn't want anyone to think Ragan was campaigning for him. Enzo lies that the original plan last week was to split the vote and thus leave it up to Kathy, which is not true, but which still leads Ragan to the correct conclusion that Enzo, Hayden, Matt, and Lane are in an alliance together.
Later, Ragan confronts Matt about his theory. Matt freaks out at first, but then realizes that he can blackmail Hayden and Lane into keeping him around, to protect them from Ragan. That's the kind of plan only a diabolical super-genius could come up with. Or someone who calls himself a diabolical super-genius.
That night, Matt reports to Lane and Hayden that Ragan's onto them. Which causes them to decide Ragan needs to go. Hayden DRs that the Brigade "controls" everyone in the house except Ragan, so it may be worth keeping Matt around. But the question is whether Matt can be trusted, or if he was the one who told Ragan. And Ragan, in turn, is quietly plotting to break up the secret alliance, and soliloquizing about his determination to win the HoH.
Back to the studio, where Julie tells the houseguests that it's a double-elimination night. Enzo gets to go first, giving a shout-out to his wife and baby before remarking that this is his first time on the block, and he's doing it in a penguin costume. He says he wants to stick around, throw people under the bus, and backstab people, and apologizes for anything he might have said in the DR. Matt talks quickly, because this is his third time and he doesn't have all that much new to say, and now it's time to vote anyway.
Brendon votes to evict Matt for Rachel -- wait, who, now? Hayden also votes to evict Matt, as does Ragan, so that's it for Matt. Lane makes it unanimous, and Matt learns the news even before the ads. There are still ads on a double-eviction episode, right? Matt hugs everyone goodbye, kidding around with Britney and Ragan, and says whoever follows him out tonight is going to join him for some drinking. Out he goes, flashing the devil-horns to the audience and fist-bumping Julie as he sits down with her in the studio. Back in the house, the remaining six mill around aimlessly, remarking that the whole top row of the memory wall is gone.
Out in the studio, Matt says he's cool with the vote; in fact, he told Ragan to vote with the house for his own good. Julie asks him about throwing last week's HoH competition, and Matt says he was so confident that he was safe, and besides he thought he'd need this week's HoH more. Julie agrees with Matt's new assessment that it was a bad move. Julie asks why Matt stuck with the Brigade this past week, and Matt claims to have vacillated, even though we didn't see much of that. Julie straight-out asks why he didn't out the Brigade and join forces with Ragan and Britney. So Matt calls Britney an "evil succubus," which Julie actually seems to think is on the list of forbidden FCC words. Julie then asks why Matt threw Ragan under the bus. Matt claims that he thought he could get away with it, being so "subtle" and all, and admits that it's what he feels most guilty about. And not claiming his wife had a rare bone disease?
Time for tonight's first HoH competition. The five remaining guys are standing at buzzers while outgoing HoH Britney sits on the sidelines. This is a combination mental and physical challenge, with a trivia question whose answer is the names of two houseguests. And they'll have to retrieve those names from their own giant bin of Styrofoam peanuts, on the other side of a wall of cardboard boxes. The question is which houseguests have been HoH twice. They all burst through a wall of cardboard boxes and start digging, but Hayden is the first to make the two trips to return with the names of Rachel and Matt. In fact, he found both names before running back with the first one. Ironically, this makes Hayden the third person to be HoH twice. He and the other breathless dudes head inside to get ready for some lightning nominations, while Enzo's potty mouth gives the censors' mute button a workout.
After the ads, Julie invites us to "listen in to last-minute strategy," which is kind of funny considering that they keep muting the audio from the house whenever anyone opens their mouth. Hayden meets with Lane, Enzo, and Brendon in the bedroom for a whispered, breathless conversation that seems to be focusing on Ragan, with Britney going home in the event Ragan wins the impending PoV. Julie calls them back out to the living room. Hayden nominates Brendon and Ragan, and Ragan jokes, "How dare you?" Hayden says he promised Britney safety last week, and they know how he feels about Enzo. Ragan says he gets it. PoV coming right up!
Live PoV. All six remaining houseguests are standing on the familiar "Before or After" game set that we've seen in seasons past. It must be getting a little worn by now. Julie will ask them questions about the summer's chronology, and they'll each step up and back to answer "before," and down and forward to answer "after." It's funny, because with Matt gone, it looks like all the guys are on a higher step than Britney, even though they're at the same level. Everyone gets the first two questions right, but Enzo blows the third one. Brendon bricks the question (and the video feed). Britney is eliminated in the round, leaving Lane, Hayden, and Ragan up there. Although I think the question was worded so confusingly that Ragan was the only one who understood it. Well, looks like Ragan isn't going home tonight after all, so Matt can probably look forward to catching up with either Brendon or Britney tonight, and learn all about the developments of the half-hour between their respective departures.
More last-minute strategy, which is mostly Britney trying to drum up votes and Ragan wanting to change into jeans, and Enzo and Britney guessing that the second HoH will be "that thing." Clearly, they're prepared.
Julie calls everyone into the living room, and makes Brendon go through the charade of pleading his case. To Brendon's credit, he just gives some jokingly nonsensical excuse about his shoes, but Ragan still says he's using the PoV on himself, channeling Janelle as he does so. Hayden puts Britney in the replacement nominee seat, and we'll start the voting after another ad break. And I worried that there wouldn't be any.
Britney gets to go first, and ad-libs about missing everyone at home and loving everyone in the house. Brendon literally says, "what Britney said," and argues that all the drama and dysfunction is what makes them a family. Yeah, except families don't have to cut someone loose every week. Well, most families.
Voting begins. Enzo votes to evict Brendon, and Ragan echoes that vote wit his fingers crossed, so Brendon and Rachel will be reunited real soon. Lane again makes it unanimous, so I guess that'll do it for Brendon's boast in the DR last night that he was staying another week (so there). He takes it pretty well and tries to leave the inner door open as wide and as long as he can, so everyone can maybe get a glimpse of the studio. Which doesn't really work. He walks out empty-handed, gladhanding the audience as he makes his way to Julie.
Julie asks Brendon how shocked he was after being assured he was the pawn. Brendon says not really, because even he's not that stupid. Julie asks what would have happened if the nominations had stayed the same, and Brendon thinks Ragan would be out here, although he has no idea why. "Where am I right now?" he jokes, and says that the house is "a really nice version of prison." Yes, and from what what I've read, it's not even that nice. Julie mentions that Brendon's supposed to be a brainiac, but Brendon says, "brains go out the window as soon as you walk through those doors." Which was certainly true in his case, even if the Big Brother house doesn't have any windows. Julie gives him props for his "great game" (snerk) and demands applause for him from the audience, which they dutifully provide. Dude's in for a shock when he hits the real world again. Julie asks how his game changed after Rachel's exit, and he says that it was lonely for him, even though Julie remarks that his game seemed to go better once Rachel was gone and no longer pissing people off, which never even occurred to him. Julie's last question is who's the best player left in the house right now, and Brendon says Britney because she just beat him in a unanimous vote, which was not only a difficult thing to do, but his remark effectively dooms Britney. Julie rushes through a pitch for the upcoming week of shows. Then we get to eavesdrop on the final five talking about Hayden's crushing win of the HoH competition. What about tonight's second HoH? I guess we'll see that on Sunday.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.
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