Julie welcomes us to the live studio audience, dressed like a navy-blue sheet in the split-second after it's been shot, and tells us that it's all about the Power of Veto yet again, now that Matt has volunteered to sit to Monet in the nominee chair. Yes, I said volunteered.
Flashback to Rachel replacement-nominating Matt on Day 16, and Monet reacting unhappily. Rachel says it's all about getting rid of Monet (not even mentioning how it's what darling Brendon wanted her to do,) and despite being nominated, Matt has the gall to tell us that he's "sitting pretty." Afterward, he gloats to Lane that Rachel's public pawn disclaimer was his idea, and he didn't actually think she'd do it. "She's so stupid." He calls it the second week of the Brigade "running the house," which is generous, and uses the words "orchestrate" and "powerhouse alliance," which betray a serious misunderstanding of the English language.
Britney is sad about what she thinks is the impending loss of her only friend in the house. They hang out together and revert to their standard mode of sarcastic bitching. Matt comes along and joins in, just to make it look good. "We'll get 'em," Matt promises them disingenuously.
Hayden and Kristen are having their little secret showmance, which consists of the two of them making out in a dark bedroom. While Andrew pretends to be asleep in the darkness. That's not creepy at all, but again, Andrew has vital information that nobody is going to want to hear from him.
Rachel wants to make sure she's got all the votes lined up for Monet to leave, so she pretends to Kristen and Hayden that there's been talk of Kristen voting out Matt instead. Which pisses off Kristen, because she hates people talking behind her back (which must be why she never does or says anything that I can see). Later, outside, Kristen brings that up with Britney, who of course knows nothing about it because Rachel made it up. Britney calls Monet over to hear this, while Kathy ducks inside to tattle to Rachel. Kristen can't leave well enough, alone, saying that Matt doesn't deserve to go home over Monet. Fetched by Kathy, Rachel comes hurrying out saying, "There's no reason for drama," now that the drama she engineered is actually going down. Rachel makes her public case for getting rid of Monet, with Brendon now here giving her backup. Monet basically accuses Rachel of calling her a bitch, which Rachel takes exception to, because "I don't use that derogatory term, so you need to get your facts straight." Pissed off, Monet announces she's walking away, "And you're lucky." Monet sucks at walking away. And she DRs some more violent threats against Rachel. Because that's been working out so well for her.
Back from the ads, Julie rhetorically asks us, "Just how safe can any pawn be?" Cut to Britney and Rachel in the HoH, with Britney insisting that she hasn't talked to anyone. At this point, Rachel is so desperate for Britney to like her that she tells her all about Matt's offer to go up on the block. Britney tells Rachel that Matt has been acting all pissed-off and threatening to come after them after the eviction. Rachel quickly breaks down, saying that this was what she knew would happen all along. So what to do now? House meeting! Uh-oh.
So everyone gathers in the living room save Andrew, who is busy observing a religious holiday in one of the bedrooms. Rachel tells everyone about Matt's offer to Rachel, and he lamely denies it, claiming that Rachel and Brendon strong-armed him. Matt drags Ragan into it as his witness, while his secret alliance-mates try to burrow into the furniture. Rachel and Brendon tell Matt he got busted, and Matt continues to flail around. As for Ragan, he keeps his mouth shut in the meeting, but DRs that now he doesn't know how to vote. And Monet ends the meeting by warning everyone that after the big show Matt put on for her earlier, he'll lie to everyone else in the house and get away with it. Which does not actually seem to be the case, at least the "getting away with it" part.
Julie gets on the viewscreen for the group Chenterview. She brings up the ancient history of the saboteur and asks how Brendon felt about having his name cleared. Well, obviously he was devastated, Julie, duh.
Julie plays them some clips of the week's Have/Have-Not competition, which they think is hilarious, of course. After giving Ragan a chance to make his joke about how getting taped to the wall is like his typical Saturday night in West Hollywood, Julie turns to Britney to ask her how much being a Have-Not sucks on top of everything else. These are such penetrating queries. Julie asks Andrew how hard it is to practice his Modern Orthodox Judaism, and Andrew says his fellow hamsters have been making it easy. I'm sure he means that as a compliment, but I suspect that they'd be leaving him alone to do his thing no matter what that thing was, as long as he wasn't bugging them. He could be sacrificing furniture to Kali, for all they care. Julie has a viewer question for Kathy about whether being in the house is harder than being a deputy sheriff. She says it is, because she's got nothing in here. Good answer, at least when her fellow houseguests are listening.
1 2 3 4
Because there's no saboteur nonsense this week, there's time for an HoH interview between Julie in the studio and Rachel in the HoH room. Julie asks Rachel what she thinks of Matt, and she calls him a snake who's playing both sides. The question is about Rachel's vow not to seek revenge as HoH, which I don't think anyone could accuse her of. Julie then asks if she's ever fallen for anyone as fast as she has for Brendon, and she laughs no. Julie asks what she'd choose if it was between Brendon and the half million, as if Rachel's replacement nominee this week hadn't already told us that. Rachel dodges the question, but picks Brendon, because she's a moron. Think Brendon would do the same? I don't.
Julie changes channels to the living room so Monet and Matt can plead their respective cases. Monet goes first, not saying much beyond shakily telling everyone to vote with who will benefit them most. Matt stands up and jokes, "I'm not wearing any of my military regalia tonight." Heh, nice callback to Jerry. No, I'm not going back to find the link. Matt reminds them to keep in mind that it's just a game, but he wants to stay. And with that, he gives a shout-out to his homes and to Monet before sitting down and saying, "It's all you, Chenbot, take it away." Julie laughs good-naturedly and starts sending people into the DR to vote.
Andrew votes to evict "ten-thousand-dollar-richer Monet." So does Enzo, obviously. Britney votes to evict Matt, so Julie can throw it to commercial with a 2-to-1 tally. Unfortunately, the suspense isn't going to go much farther than that.
Coming back, Kathy votes to evict Matt, so it's a dead heat -- for now. Hayden votes to evict Monet, and tells Julie she's great. Kristen also votes to evict Monet. Ragan votes to evict "the beautiful and kind Monet," and that's enough to send her home, but Brendon and Lane get to vote out Monet as well. Once everyone's back in the living room, Julie starts to break the news, and while she's still talking, Monet uncrosses her legs to stand up while Matt continues to slouch in the depths of his chair, so clearly the 7-2 result isn't a shock to anyone. Monet gets up and leaves without hugging anyone, not even Britney, as Enzo calls after her, "You're a great person, Monet. Don't take it to the heart."
Monet enters the studio, and in the house, everyone has hugs for Britney. Out in the studio, Julie asks Monet why she was in such a hurry to get out of there. Monet's voice shakes as she says she made her goodbyes to Britney and Kathy (the two people who voted for her) last night. Monet says the house has made her crazy, and admits that she's not as strong as she thought she was. She just knew she wouldn't want to hang out and see Britney cry. Julie asks whether the $10,000 prize was a factor in her eviction. Monet correctly says that's a good excuse, but now she has the money and the rest of her summer. Julie gives Monet the chance to take back any of the things she said about Rachel, which Monet... declines.
1 2 3 4
Farewell greetings. Andrew tells her he doesn't know what she was even doing there. "Everything you did was completely wrong if you were really trying to win this game." That's got to sting, coming from Andrew. Kathy is grateful to Monet for giving her the gift of the phrase, "I'm gonna punch somebody." Matt boasts about being "instrumental" in sending her home, calling her a casualty of war. Rachel calls her "A little bit cliquey and super-catty," and accuses her of trying to break up her and Brendon. So I guess in Rachel's mind, the end of the summer will see this show littered with the corpses of those who tried to take her man away. Whatever. Britney tearfully but amusingly talks about missing all the catty remarks they made together.
HoH competition. Everyone save Rachel is standing on one of eleven surfboards sticking out from a wall over a long, narrow pool of water. Last person standing will be HoH, but! The first five to fall will be the Haves for the week, along with outgoing HoH Rachel. Julie starts the game, and right away the players are all being deluged with water while standing on their boards. Cheesy surf music plays as we cut between them, waiting for something to happen. "Its going to be a long night," Julie says. Going to be?
There's another America's Vote about the food for the have-nots this week, but nobody cares.
We rejoin Julie in the studio so she can tell us about the week's worth of shows. The water has stopped pouring, and everyone is still in the game. Julie checks in with them, and after signing off with them, the water starts back up, as well as what sounds like a wind machine. Nothing else continues to happen all the way through the credits. Gripping!
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see who we think will win!
Want to immediately access TWoP content no matter where you are online? Download the free TWoP toolbar for your web browser. Already have a customized toolbar? Then just add our free toolbar app to get updated on our content as soon it's published.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.
1 2 3 4