It's day 32, and neither Keesha nor Libra is surprised to be nominated. Yet Dan is surprised not to be nominated, and Jerry is still pissed at Dan. "The only way he could justify doing something like that (voting to evict Jessie, that is) is if he's America's Player." Which would be funnier if voting Jessie out hadn't been what Dan wanted to do anyway. In the Diary Room, Michelle interviews that she wants the two friends she nominated to know what it's like to have to campaign against each other, because that's what they've done to her alliance. Funny, that's not what she told the meeting.
Keesha and Dan have a talk about how irritating it was that April was the first key pulled out, because of course now she and Michelle are best friends. Libra and Renny join the quiet little powwow, and Libra promises not to campaign against Keesha, but if she goes, she wants to be avenged. We'll see how that goes.
Michelle calls Keesha into the Head of Household room to tell her that Libra is her real target, for having orchestrated Jessie's ouster. Keesha looks bored and irritated by the conversation, because any appreciation she might have at not being in Michelle's crosshairs is far outweighed by the fact that she's not getting the credit for getting rid of Jessie. Not that she can say that. And not that Michelle seems to notice Keesha's lack of gratitude.
Veto competition drawing. Before Michelle, Libra, and Keesha draw names, Dan DRs that he feels safe with anybody but Jerry winning Power of Veto. I think we can take this to mean that Jerry will win PoV. Michelle draws April, Keesha draws Memphis, and Libra draws Jerry. Lucky Dan. Michelle names Ollie as the PoV competition host, probably to remind us that he exists.
Ollie, April, and Jerry hang on the back porch and bitch about Libra, warning each other not to underestimate Libra with the PoV still ahead of them. Jerry then goes to Michelle and shares his theory that Dan is America's Player. Michelle agrees that they can't trust him, and Jerry excitedly DRs that he wants to win PoV so he can get Dan on the block by vetoing Libra or Keesha. He doesn't even care which one at this point, he's got such a hard-on for Dan. And as for his possible justification, apparently that isn't a justification any more: "If he is America's Player, he's a scumbag," Jerry says. Not following that logic at all. How does doing what your country tells you to do make you a scumbag, Jerry?
Late at night, Dan and Memphis bust into the women's bedroom with bandannas on their faces and wake them up with whooping and pillows. Ah, hilarity.
The veto competition is called "Cry Me a Veto." There are onions all over the place. The players will have 45 minutes to chop up onions, then carry the stinking pulp to one of two bins in their own lanes. One bin represents the Veto, and the other represents a mystery prize. Memphis goes right to work on the mystery prize, because what does he care about the veto? Besides, he could always use another crappy old car. April tries to go 50/50, which sounds like a good way to win nothing, but I'm overestimating her competitors (as usual). Libra and Jerry go on about their respective dicing strategies. Keesha DRs about how weepy onions make you, as though she's the first person to ever observe the phenomenon. On the spectators' bench, Dan and Ollie discuss how bad Jerry wants to win and send Dan home.
At the end of the competition, each bin is weighed to determine who ended up with the most onions. Memphis's mystery bin weighs 33.8 pounds, including the 17.2 pound box. April's got 27.4 pounds, Michelle 19.4, and Keesha 17.6 (some must have slipped in from her veto bin). Libra and Jerry both have essentially no onions. So Memphis wins the mystery prize, which adds another layer of mystery by making him choose between two envelopes. He picks the green one, and his big prize is an onion necklace that he's going to have to wear for the 24 hours. Good thing he isn't going to be doing a lot of campaigning. Second-place winner April gets the other envelope, which means a designer is bringing her five outfits. Yay? Actually, April is thrilled, not least because of how jealous the thinks it'll make the other women.
So now it's time to determine the PoV winner. Memphis's bin has 25.8 pounds, April's 17.4 (so her 50/50 strategy worked, at least), Michelle's 31 at even, and Keesha has 29.8 pounds (so no veto for her). Libra's got 32 pounds in her veto bin, stealing the lead from Michelle. That leaves Jerry, whose bin weighs in at 36.8 pounds. The funny thing is that Libra instantly turns into the personification of defeat. And in the DR, Jerry congratulates himself by telling a story in which he calls himself an old cow. But he's also a giant, horny lech in the story, so at least that's consistent.
Afterward, Jerry is quietly crowing about his victory, and telling April and Ollie that he wants them to join him in calling Dan Judas. Oh, for fuck's sake, Jerry, act your age. Shit, act Jessie's age (not that Jessie did). He then goes up to Michelle to tell her that he did it for Jessie, and in return he wants Dan up as the replacement nominee. Michelle is still set on Libra going, but can't tell Jerry not to do what he wants, which is to veto Keesha. Jerry wants to punish Dan so much that he's even willing to settle for letting Dan feel what it's like to be on the block.
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Late at night, Dan and Memphis bust into the women's bedroom with bandannas on their faces and wake them up with whooping and pillows. Ah, hilarity.
The veto competition is called "Cry Me a Veto." There are onions all over the place. The players will have 45 minutes to chop up onions, then carry the stinking pulp to one of two bins in their own lanes. One bin represents the Veto, and the other represents a mystery prize. Memphis goes right to work on the mystery prize, because what does he care about the veto? Besides, he could always use another crappy old car. April tries to go 50/50, which sounds like a good way to win nothing, but I'm overestimating her competitors (as usual). Libra and Jerry go on about their respective dicing strategies. Keesha DRs about how weepy onions make you, as though she's the first person to ever observe the phenomenon. On the spectators' bench, Dan and Ollie discuss how bad Jerry wants to win and send Dan home.
At the end of the competition, each bin is weighed to determine who ended up with the most onions. Memphis's mystery bin weighs 33.8 pounds, including the 17.2 pound box. April's got 27.4 pounds, Michelle 19.4, and Keesha 17.6 (some must have slipped in from her veto bin). Libra and Jerry both have essentially no onions. So Memphis wins the mystery prize, which adds another layer of mystery by making him choose between two envelopes. He picks the green one, and his big prize is an onion necklace that he's going to have to wear for the 24 hours. Good thing he isn't going to be doing a lot of campaigning. Second-place winner April gets the other envelope, which means a designer is bringing her five outfits. Yay? Actually, April is thrilled, not least because of how jealous the thinks it'll make the other women.
So now it's time to determine the PoV winner. Memphis's bin has 25.8 pounds, April's 17.4 (so her 50/50 strategy worked, at least), Michelle's 31 at even, and Keesha has 29.8 pounds (so no veto for her). Libra's got 32 pounds in her veto bin, stealing the lead from Michelle. That leaves Jerry, whose bin weighs in at 36.8 pounds. The funny thing is that Libra instantly turns into the personification of defeat. And in the DR, Jerry congratulates himself by telling a story in which he calls himself an old cow. But he's also a giant, horny lech in the story, so at least that's consistent.
Afterward, Jerry is quietly crowing about his victory, and telling April and Ollie that he wants them to join him in calling Dan Judas. Oh, for fuck's sake, Jerry, act your age. Shit, act Jessie's age (not that Jessie did). He then goes up to Michelle to tell her that he did it for Jessie, and in return he wants Dan up as the replacement nominee. Michelle is still set on Libra going, but can't tell Jerry not to do what he wants, which is to veto Keesha. Jerry wants to punish Dan so much that he's even willing to settle for letting Dan feel what it's like to be on the block.
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Remember how Michelle won a feast for the house during the food competition the other night? They now sit down and eat it, taking turns making incoherent toasts and attempting to bury various hatchets. Both the Dan/Jerry and the April/Keesha axes make some kind of peace. Ollie takes his hat off just long enough to offer to talk one-on-one with anyone, and Libra takes him up on it. In the storage, room, she tearfully says how hurt she was by being called a "scallywag." But it turns out she's still playing the game, because when Ollie hugs her and apologizes for overreacting to his feelings of betrayal, Libra tells him that it was really Keesha who arranged Jessie's eviction. "That's all I need to hear," Ollie says, because he is a perfectly tuned piano in this game. Oh, sneaky, sneaky Libra. I should have know that "scallywag" wasn't the dagger to the heart that she claimed it was.
Keesha, meanwhile, is up in the HoH, while Michelle tells Keesha about some of the snarky remarks Libra was making during the dinner. I mean, they seemed pretty harmless to me, but Michelle is trying to drive a wedge here. She goes to get April to corroborate, which April does (a reliable source if ever there was one), while Memphis and his onion necklace look on. So now Keesha wants a piece of Libra. Oh, Keesha.
Michelle summons Libra, and they all surround her while she insists that she was only making a joke. Which was kind of funny, but Keesha is choosing to take offense. Memphis wisely leaves the room moments before Keesha and Libra start screaming at each other. April and Michelle sit it out at first, but then Michelle and Libra are yelling at each other, while the rest of the house sits down in the kitchen listening to the yelling. In the DR, Dan calls the feast a benefit dinner: "Every bit of it benefited me." Heh. Meanwhile, upstairs, Libra throws Keesha under the Jessie bus, then Keesha pulls April right under their with her, before storming out and saying they'll evict whoever they want.
Of course Michelle can't have that, so she follows Keesha through the house like this is all about her. Keesha's having a total meltdown about April and how seam-burstingly full of shit she is. "I thought you would be the one out of everybody who would see it!" Wow, Keesha's as good as Libra at turning a genuine freak-out into a game move. If only Michelle could also see all the smug April bitchfaces that the editors keep cutting into Keesha's tirade, she might be reconsidering.
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All Jerry DRs about his veto is "expect the unexpected." Oh, so we can expect Jerry to behave maturely and with perspective? I'll be looking forward to that, then. Keesha is still on edge, and Libra is aware that everyone sees her as the "puppetmistress." Dan has written something on his face as he speculates that the odds of Jerry using the PoV are about 50/50. How's the weather out on that limb, Dan?
During the Veto meeting, Keesha goes first in her own defense. All she does is take responsibility for her part in evicting Jessie, and doesn't expect to be vetoed. Ringing defense. Libra does the same. Instead of just saying what he's going to do, Jerry first tells his captive audience about his own feelings, and lectures Dan, saying, "You will always be Judas in my house." Libra's eyes quietly bug out, and Memphis rolls his eyes all the way into his hat while Dan just calmly says he understands. But Jerry is not using the Veto.
Dan's clearly a little hurt by Jerry's speech, even as he DRs, "I'd rather be lucky than be good, so Jerry, thank you very much." Don't let it get to you, Dan; Judas was set up. Keesha promises not to leave the house without a fight, and considers "killing them with kindness." Which will be funny, because even saying the words is making it hard for her not to vomit. And Libra has decided to educate everyone on Keesha's role in Jessie's eviction. Yes, few alliances can survive an unused Veto.
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M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.
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