Julie welcomes us to day 63 in a black-and-white top that makes her torso look like a mangled section of highway, paired with a gold-braid belt that makes it look like somebody shot her in the groin with an Admiral. She alerts us that either Sharon or James is leaving the house tonight.
Post-veto ceremony, everyone seems pretty certain that it's going to be James. Except James, of course, who has decided to follow a strategy of turning everyone against Natalie. He makes some snotty comments about her on the back porch, which everyone but Natalie finds amusing. In fact, she threatens them not to piss her off lest she win week and punish them for their insolence. PUNISH! Yes, Natalie could stand to have a bit more of a sense of humor about herself, but it's pretty tacky of James to decide that the weakness he's going to exploit is that Natalie's given up working out since Matt's departure and is "gettin' big" (she isn't). Always a classy move, picking on a woman's weight. Presumably that bicycle he's riding around the world for peace has a "No Fat Chicks" sticker on it.
Later, the three women sun themselves and discuss which of the boys to target (Natalie's got her crosshairs on Adam), while Adam and Ryan hunker in the shade of the back porch and quietly talk about how they're going to "knock the bitches out." Charming. Natalie tells Sheila and Sharon that they should stick together, but as soon as Sharon leaves, Natalie tells Sheila that the need to get rid of Sharon so the two of them can win. Natalie's closest ally is always whoever is to her. Surprisingly, Sheila sees through Natalie's act, so she goes to Sharon and whispers to her about how Natalie is going to be gunning for them. All this whispering gets on my nerves, because it makes me have to look up from my typing. Speak up, hamsters!
And later, in the kitchen, Natalie goes to Adam and sneakily tells him that Sharon has decided to get rid of Adam. Which, you'll recall, is actually what Natalie was saying, not Sharon. And later still, Natalie tells Ryan that the two of them have to win, since Sharon wants the girls to stick together. "Miracles only happen through God and Jesus," she adds, apropos of nothing. Meanwhile, Jesus and God are both denying any responsibility for Natalie's HoH win a couple of weeks ago.
Sheila goes up to the HoH room to set Adam straight on what Natalie has really been saying (at least to Sheila), because Sheila wants to go to the end with Adam. Adam DRs that he doesn't know whom to believe.
James, meanwhile, is sticking to what he sees as a winning strategy of turning people against Natalie, on the logic that if Natalie falls out of favor, Sharon might get voted out instead. I don't know, that doesn't seem like enough leverage to me. But while playing chess with Ryan (or, more likely, while taking a break from playing army men with the pieces), James talks about how the women are going to come after Ryan once James is gone, and offers Ryan an alternate scenario: "What if I didn't leave?" Ryan seems open to it, as long as James can get others on board with the plan. But then Ryan is always good at seeming open to things and then doing exactly what you're expecting him to do in the end.
So James, looking almost funereal for him in maroon, presents his proposal to Adam and Sheila. Adam leaves the decision up to Sheila, who promises, "I'm going to do something crazy for my 46th birthday." What's that, win a competition? That wouldn't be crazy. That would be Twilight Zone.
Julie gets the six remaining houseguests on the viewscreen and asks Natalie a question from a viewer named Brenda from New York: "What does religion have to do with the game?" Natalie gives a non-answer about faith keeping her strong and everything happens for a reason. Natalie, what Brenda from New York was actually asking is, "Can you be a little less obnoxious with the 'Team Christ' bullshit, please?" Or, put another way, who would Jesus backdoor? Julie then asks fellow Christian Sharon what she thinks of that, and she doesn't disagree. I think it's worth mentioning that Sharon, at least on the edited broadcast, hasn't been nearly as irritatingly hypocritical with the Bible-thumping as Natalie has. Julie then asks Adam what he looks for in "babies," and Adam rattles off some important qualities he looks for in women, forgetting the most important one: blindness.
Julie then shows them the clip of James dumping flour on Sheila's head, and asks James why she's always the target. James turns it into a compliment for Sheila by saying she's the only one who could take it. True; any of the other four could snap James like a twig. Julie then asks Sheila if the other houseguests make her feel older or younger. Sheila says the latter, although by the time she's done we're all older. Sheila also gives a message to her son that she misses and loves him and looks forward to celebrating his birthday, which is on April 24th. Unless they speed things up, I think she's going to be a bit late to the party.
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Time to meet Sharon's family, in their house in Olathe, Kansas (she's going to be bummed that she missed the big Jayhawks win). Her dad is a former Marine with an entire mine's worth of metal on his dress uniform which he apparently wears around the house. We also learn that Sharon was in a car accident that strengthened her belief in God by not killing her. Colonel Dad talks about how Sharon always helps people, and lives by the Marine motto semper fi. Her nameless, Leelee Sobieski-looking sister says Sharon needs to step up her game and show everyone what a fighter she is. Which is illustrated by a clip of Sharon and Natalie girl-boxing. They both suck. It's like a demolition derby with feet.
DR comments on the nominees: Natalie says James has got to go. Ryan agrees. Sheila says it might be good for her if James can stay and get rid of Natalie for her. However, Ryan claims to be thinking about changing the gender balance in the house by booting Sharon. And also on the other hand, Sheila says that James is a sneaky bastard, and she would hate to get knocked out by him in the final four.
Time to visit the jury house, which is HUGE. The first juror, Matt, rattles around the giant house and grounds by himself. He's alone with his thoughts. But I repeat myself. He hopes to see James or "some type of female" . Sure enough, Chelsia dashes in and throws herself on him. Chelsia assures us that she will not be hooking up with Matt. The following week, the two of them sit by the fire waiting nervously for the evictee (which we already know is Joshuah, so drop the suspense edit, show). Chelsia's happy to see someone she likes, but disappointed. Matt unkindly compares Joshuah to a bitchy woman on her period. Ah, I'd forgotten how charming Matt can be with his Neanderthal epigrams. Joshuah plays them a DVD of Natalie winning that week's HoH, James winning PoV, and Josh getting evicted. He and Chelsia complain rather meanly about Natalie while Matt sits there silently, not defending her but clearly bothered. Too bad he's outnumbered by the bitchy woman and Chelsia. Oblivious, Joshuah wants to watch his exit speech again.
Back to Julie and the viewscreen, and she's letting the nominees make their case. Sharon gives her usual soft sell, about how if it's her time to go then it's her time to go. James says he can't change anyone's vote, but he came in broke and homeless and now has a great girlfriend and friends for life. So, he sees it as a net positive.
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