By M. Giant
Julie welcomes us to day 63 in a black-and-white top that makes her torso look like a mangled section of highway, paired with a gold-braid belt that makes it look like somebody shot her in the groin with an Admiral. She alerts us that either Sharon or James is leaving the house tonight.
Post-veto ceremony, everyone seems pretty certain that it's going to be James. Except James, of course, who has decided to follow a strategy of turning everyone against Natalie. He makes some snotty comments about her on the back porch, which everyone but Natalie finds amusing. In fact, she threatens them not to piss her off lest she win week and punish them for their insolence. PUNISH! Yes, Natalie could stand to have a bit more of a sense of humor about herself, but it's pretty tacky of James to decide that the weakness he's going to exploit is that Natalie's given up working out since Matt's departure and is "gettin' big" (she isn't). Always a classy move, picking on a woman's weight. Presumably that bicycle he's riding around the world for peace has a "No Fat Chicks" sticker on it.
Later, the three women sun themselves and discuss which of the boys to target (Natalie's got her crosshairs on Adam), while Adam and Ryan hunker in the shade of the back porch and quietly talk about how they're going to "knock the bitches out." Charming. Natalie tells Sheila and Sharon that they should stick together, but as soon as Sharon leaves, Natalie tells Sheila that the need to get rid of Sharon so the two of them can win. Natalie's closest ally is always whoever is to her. Surprisingly, Sheila sees through Natalie's act, so she goes to Sharon and whispers to her about how Natalie is going to be gunning for them. All this whispering gets on my nerves, because it makes me have to look up from my typing. Speak up, hamsters!
And later, in the kitchen, Natalie goes to Adam and sneakily tells him that Sharon has decided to get rid of Adam. Which, you'll recall, is actually what Natalie was saying, not Sharon. And later still, Natalie tells Ryan that the two of them have to win, since Sharon wants the girls to stick together. "Miracles only happen through God and Jesus," she adds, apropos of nothing. Meanwhile, Jesus and God are both denying any responsibility for Natalie's HoH win a couple of weeks ago.
Sheila goes up to the HoH room to set Adam straight on what Natalie has really been saying (at least to Sheila), because Sheila wants to go to the end with Adam. Adam DRs that he doesn't know whom to believe.
Time for the votes. Natalie votes to evict James. So does Ryan, because he never flips. And Sheila makes it unanimous. James will get the news after the ads.
James hugs everyone but Ryan (who gets a handshake) and heads out for his second Chenterview. He claims to Julie that he's been wanting to leave since he went back; "You learn to hate these people." Julie reminds James about going back on his word with nominating Matt and asks if he regrets it. James says he did it because Matt was lying to him that whole week, so no, he doesn't regret it. Maybe the question would be whether he regrets acting like such a giant pill about it. Julie also asks why he's such a crybaby in the house, and he just says it's hard.
Taped farewells from the houseguests: Adam says he should have kept his cool when he came back. Adam, James doesn't have a cool. Sharon promises she'll get Natalie out. That shouldn't be a problem, now that it's Team Christ and Sharon in there. Ryan gives James credit for being the hardest person to get out in Big Brother history. Natalie calls him a cheater and a betrayer. Sheila says he reminds her of his son, although they broke the mold when they made James. Can she blame them?
After that's over, Julie asks if James will still be friends with anyone after this. James says some of them, maybe, but he "hates Natalie, hate Ryan for what they stand for and who they are." So let's hope he has to vote for one of them in the final two.
Time for the HoH competition. With James gone and Adam the former HoH, Natalie, Sheila, Ryan, and Sharon are all standing inside glass cages with short chains dangling down inside. Those cages don't have bottoms, however, so when they're lifted up off the pads they're resting on, the people inside have to hang onto either the chains or the bar that runs across the top. A couple of them also brace their feet against the far wall. We'll see if they can hang on through the ads.
When we come back, they're all still up there, much to my disappointment. Although Ryan's starting to sweat, so he can't be long for this competition. Sheila complains to Julie about the stinky smoke, because she's a complainer. The HoH will probably be decided by the time you read this, but the resolution of this contest won't be aired until Sunday.
Oh, wait! Did I speak too soon? In the final "eavesdrop" segment, Sharon says she's already about to lose it. Alas, her imminent humiliation is preempted for now by Criminal Minds. How apropos.
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